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Diffstat (limited to 'games/fortune/datfiles/limerick')
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1 files changed, 15 insertions, 401 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick index a10e5f6..a61e9a8 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick @@ -8,12 +8,6 @@ And the worst of it was that it did! A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along - And, unless I am wrong, -You expected this line to be lewd. -% -A bather whose clothing was strewed -By breezes that left her quite nude, - Saw a man come along And, unless I'm quite wrong, You expected this line to be lewd. % @@ -60,12 +54,6 @@ Was heard to confess in her cups: Was diddling a collie- But I got a nice price for the pups." % -A broken-down harlot named Tupps -Was heard to confess in her cups: - "The height of my folly - Was fucking a collie -- -But I got a nice price for the pups." -% A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction @@ -85,12 +73,6 @@ Grew steadily flipper and flipper. With fragments of glass And thus circumcised his old skipper. % -A cautious young fellow named Lodge -Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. - When his date was strapped in, - He committed a sin, -Without even leaving his grodge. -% A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in @@ -154,14 +136,8 @@ Invented a jack-off machine. The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame. % -A clever young man named Eugene -Invented a jack-off machine. - On the twenty-third stroke - The goddam thing broke -And beat both his balls to a creame. -% A cocksucking steno named Beeman -Remarked as she swallowed my semen : +Remarked as she swallowed my semen: "On my minuscule salary I must watch every calorie, So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!" @@ -191,12 +167,6 @@ Had a notion exceedingly droll: Dressed in nothing at all, She backed in as a Parker House roll. % -A couple was fishing near Clombe -When the maid began looking quite glum, - And said, "Bother the fish! - I'd rather coish!" -Which they did -- which was why they had come. -% A cowhand way out in Seattle Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. He said, "No, I can't fuck @@ -234,7 +204,7 @@ Was sucking a cock on the jetty. Though not quite as good as spaghetti." % A delighted, incredulous bride -Remarked to her groom at her side : +Remarked to her groom at her side: "I never could quite Believe till tonight Our anatomies would coincide." @@ -288,13 +258,6 @@ Whose overworked sex is all callous, Through exuberance, tightness, and malice. % A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis -Wished to foster an aura of menace; - To make people afraid - He wore gloves of grey suede -And white footgear intended for tennis. - -- Edward Gorey -% -A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace. To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede @@ -349,12 +312,6 @@ Had sex with a virgin named Grace. She made things hairy By bleeding all over his face. % -A frustrated lady named Alice -Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. - They found her vagina - In North Carolina -And bits of her tits were in Dallas. -% A gay young prince from Morocco Made love in a manner rococco. He painted his penis @@ -367,18 +324,6 @@ Scientifically played with himself, He labled it: son, And filed him away on a shelf. % -A geneticist living in Delft -Scientifically played with himself, - And when he was done - He labled it: son, -And filed him away on a shelf. -A gentleman, otherwise meek, -Detested with passion the leek; - When offered one out - He dealt such a clout -To the maid, she was down for a week. - -- Edward Gorey -% A gentleman, otherwise meek, Detested with passion the leek; When offered one out @@ -387,7 +332,7 @@ To the maid, she was down for a week. -- Edward Gorey % A german composer named Bruckner -Remarked to a lady while fuckener : +Remarked to a lady while fuckener: "Less lento, my dear, With your cute little rear; I like a hot presto when muckener!" @@ -487,7 +432,7 @@ By his mouse-to-mouse resuscitation. A happy old hooker named Grace Once sponsored a cunt-lapping race. It was hard for beginners - To tell who were winners : + To tell who were winners: There were cunt hairs all over the place. % A hardware debugger named Court @@ -516,7 +461,7 @@ Once had an affair with a ghost. Cried, "Goodie, I feel it... almost." % A hidebound young virgin named Carrie -Would say, when the fellows got hairy : +Would say, when the fellows got hairy: "Keep your prick in your pants Till the end of this dance--" Which is why Carrie still has her cherry. @@ -620,12 +565,6 @@ To revise her existence misspent. Where she stayed through the following Lent. -- Edward Gorey % -A lady while dining at Crewe -Found an elephant's whang in her stew. - Said the waiter, "Don't shout, - And don't wave it about, -Or the others will all want one too." -% A lady, while dining in Crewe, Found an elephant's whang in her stew. Said the waiter, "Don't shout @@ -693,12 +632,6 @@ Once rode through the streets in the nude. Agnificent bottom" And slapped it as hard as they could. % -A lovely young maid from St. Jude -Once rode through the streets in the nude. - The police cried, "Whatam-- - Agnificent bottom" -And slapped it as hard as they cude. -% A lusty young maid from Seattle Got pleasure by sleeping with cattle; Till she found a bull @@ -862,12 +795,6 @@ Fell in love with a dashing young beau. She would squat in his yard And longingly pee in the sneaux. % -A petulant man once said, "Pish, -Your cunt is as big as a dish." - She replied, "Why, you fool, - With your limp little tool, -It's like driving a pin with a fish." -% A physical fellow named Fisk Could screw at a rate very brisk. So fast was his action @@ -904,12 +831,6 @@ Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink. And John Brink petered out, With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink. % -A potter who lived in Bombay -Once fashioned a cunt out of clay; - But the heat of his prick - Kilned the damn thing to brick -And chafed all his foreskin away. -% A pretty wife living in Tours Demanded her daily amour. But the husband said, "No! @@ -924,12 +845,6 @@ And such is the Kingdom of Heaven. % A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. - A curious mole - Nosed into her hole -- -Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill. -% -A pretty young lady named Vogel -Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill. @@ -983,12 +898,6 @@ Had no qualms about taking a chance, To get screwed in the nude, So she always went home with damp pants. % -A remarkable race are the Persians; -They have such peculiar diversions. - They make love the whole day - In the usual way -And save up the nights for perversions. -% A remarkable race are the Persians, They have such peculiar diversions. They screw the whole day @@ -1133,18 +1042,6 @@ Was renowned for her fine paroxysm. She still spent on with zest, Her rapture sheer anachronism. % -A talented girl from Detroit -Could fuck you in ways quite adroit. - She could squeeze her vagina - To a pin-point or finer -Or open it out like a quoit. -% -A team playing baseball in Dallas -Called te umpire blind out of malice. - While this worthy had fits - The team made eight hits -And a girl in the bleachers named Alice. -% A team playing baseball in Dallas Called the umpire blind out of malice. While this worthy had fits @@ -1259,12 +1156,6 @@ A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. -And I'm darned if I know how the helican. -% -A wonderful bird is the pelican. -His mouth can hold more than his belican. - He can take in his beak - Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican. % A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies, @@ -1291,14 +1182,8 @@ Discovered red spots on his tool. "Get out of my clinic Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool." % -A worried young man from Stamboul -Founds lots of red spots on his tool. - Said the doctor, a cynic, - "Get out of my clinic; -Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!" -% A young bride and groom of Australia -Remarked as they joined genitalia : +Remarked as they joined genitalia: "Though the system seems odd, We are thankful that God Developed the genus Mammalia." @@ -1396,12 +1281,6 @@ Made love to his sweetheart beserkly. He would break off and fuck her Horizontally, laterally and verkeley. % -A young systems programmer of Sprotic -Found his software intensely erotic. - In jealous distress - He wiped his OS. -It's possible that he's a psychotic. -% A young violinist from Rio Was seducing a woman named Cleo. As she took down her panties @@ -1507,12 +1386,6 @@ And all she recalls is the ache. An artist who lived in Australia Once painted his ass like a Dahlia. The drawing was fine, - The colour - devine, -The scent - ah, that was a failia. -% -An artist who lived in Australia -Once painted his ass like a Dahlia. - The drawing was fine, The colour - divine, The scent - ah, that was a failia. % @@ -1522,12 +1395,6 @@ Once buggered a VAX Unibus. But not the young lad (Except for the toupee and truss). % -An eager young hacker named Gus -Once buggered a VAX Unibus. - The hardware went bad, - But not the young lad -He didn't expect all that fuss! -% An Edwardian father named Udgeon, Whose offspring provoked him to dudgeon, Used on Saturday nights @@ -1587,7 +1454,7 @@ She threw herself under a carriage. -- Edward Gorey % An inquisitive virgin named Dora -Asked the man who started to bore 'er : +Asked the man who started to bore 'er: "Do you mean birds and bees Go through antics like these, To suppy us our fauna and flora?" @@ -1698,7 +1565,7 @@ Asked a supplicant priest of the pontiff, His holiness murmured, "Gut yontiff." % At a contest for farting in Butte -One lady's exertion was cute : +One lady's exertion was cute: It won the diploma For fetid aroma, And three judges were felled by the brute. @@ -1741,13 +1608,6 @@ Fan would giggle and show off her knees; And weep from a sense of unease. -- Edward Gorey % -Augustus, for slpashing his soup, -Was put for the night on the stoop; - In the morning he'd not - Repented a jot, -And next day he was dead of the croup. - -- Edward Gorey -% Augustus, for splashing his soup, Was put for the night on the stoop; In the morning he'd not @@ -1812,12 +1672,6 @@ Complacently stroking his madam, For on all of the earth There were only two balls -- and he had 'em. % -In the little French town of Le'Beau, -Lived a maiden exceedingly droll. - At a masquerade ball, - Clad in nothing at all, -She backed in as a Parker house roll. -% It always delights me at Hank's To walk up the old river banks. One time in the grass @@ -1861,7 +1715,7 @@ Discovered a marvelous fossil. And the knot on the end, T'was the penis of Paul the Apostle. % -There a young man from the Coast +There was a young man from the Coast Who had an affair with a ghost. At the height of orgasm Said the pallid phantasm, @@ -1903,12 +1757,6 @@ Who lived their life belly to belly. They used library paste, Instead of petroleum jelly. % -There once was a couple named Kelly -Who walked around belly-to-belly. - It seems in their haste, - They used Carter's paste -Instead of petroleum jelly. -% There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity @@ -1917,7 +1765,7 @@ And my, how his practice has grown! % There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden retriever. - Said the potted old Duke : + Said the potted old Duke: "Such tricks make me puke! Were it not for her money, I'd leave her." % @@ -1969,12 +1817,6 @@ Who attempted to bugger a beagle, Turned and said with a twitch, "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." % -There once was a fellow named Sweeney -Who spilled gin all over his weenie. - Not being uncouth, - He added vermouth -And slipped his amour a martini. -% There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, @@ -2131,12 +1973,6 @@ Caught a man on top of his mar. He said with a snicker, "You do it much faster than par." % -There once was a lady from Exeter, -So pretty that men craned their necks at her. - One was even so brave - As to take out and wave -The distinguishing mark of his sex at her. -% There once was a lady from Kansas Whose cunt was as big as Bonanzas. It was nine inches deep @@ -2205,18 +2041,6 @@ Who had a prodigious diameter That brought forth the cries 'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter. % -There once was a man from Madras, -Whose balls were made out of brass. - When they clanged together, - They played "Stormy Weather", -And lightning shot out of his ass. -% -There once was a man from Nantee -Who buggered an ape in a tree. - The results were most horrid - All ass and no forehead -Three balls and a purple goatee. -% There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, @@ -2235,18 +2059,6 @@ Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket, "You're welcome to Nan." But as for the bucket, Pawtucket. % -There once was a man from Nantucket, -Whose cock was so long he could suck it. - He said with a grin, - As he wiped off his chin, -If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it! -% -There once was a man from Nantucket -Whose dick was so long he could suck it. - He said with a grin - As he wiped off his chin, -"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it." -% There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, @@ -2283,12 +2095,6 @@ Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini. % -There once was a man named McSweeny -Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. - Just to be couth, - He added vermouth, -And slipped his girlfriend a martini. -% There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, @@ -2409,12 +2215,6 @@ Engaged to look after the deacon's field, And diddled the bitches Who happened to cross that antique 'un's field. % -There once was a young fellow named Blaine, -And he screwed some disgusting old jane. - She was ugly and smelly, - With an awful pot-belly, -But... well, they were caught in the rain. -% There once was a young girl from Natches Who chanced to be born with two snatches She often said, "Shit! @@ -2449,12 +2249,6 @@ Who fell in an outhouse, and died. Who fell in another And now they're interred side by side. % -There once was a young man named Gene, -Who invented a screwing machine. - Concave and convex, - It served either sex, -And it played with itself inbetween. -% There once was a young man named Lancelot Whom the townsfolk would look at askance a lot For when he should pass @@ -2479,12 +2273,6 @@ Who buggered each other at once. For this intricate mount, They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts." % -There once were two women from Birmingham. -And this is the story concerning 'em. - They lifted the frock - And fondled the cock -Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em. -% There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, @@ -2533,12 +2321,6 @@ Whose roe he was frequently shooting, With a face like my arse, And a cunt you could put a top-boot in. % -There was a girl from Aberystwyth -Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. - The miller's son Jack - Laid her flat on her back -And united the organs they pissed with. -% There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep in the muff. With his head in a whirl @@ -2630,12 +2412,6 @@ Who thought that to frig was a folly. Means nothing to me, But I'll do it just to be jolly." % -There was a young fellow called Clyde -Who fell in an outhouse and died. - He had a twin brother - Who fell in another -So now they're interred side by side. -% There was a young fellow from Cal., In bed with a passionate gal. He leapt from the bed, @@ -2648,12 +2424,6 @@ Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her. He cried, "God strike me dead! This ain't a cunt -- it's a corridor!" % -There was a young fellow from Kent -Whose cock was so long that it bent - To save himself trouble - He put it in double -And instead of coming, he went. -% There was a young fellow from Leeds Who swallowed a package of seeds. Great tufts of grass @@ -2942,12 +2712,6 @@ Who said, "Screwing is one thing I do know. And a sheep is divine, But a llama is Numero Uno." % -There was a young gaucho named Bruno -Who said, "There is one thing I do know, - Women are fine - And children devine, -But the llama is numero uno." -% There was a young German named Ringer Who was screwing an opera singer. Said he with a grin, @@ -2972,12 +2736,6 @@ From her fanny there grew a plum tree. To tell you the truth, Because they knew it came from her tooty-toot-toot. % -There was a young girl from East Lynn -Whose mother ( to save her from sin ) - Had filled up her crack - With hard-setting shellac, -But the boys picked it out with a pin. -% There was a young girl from Hong Kong Who said, "You are utterly wrong To say my vagina @@ -3008,12 +2766,6 @@ A tool that was strangely indented. He punctured that girl, And thus was the cork-screw invented. % -There was a young girl from New York -Who plugged up her quim with a cork - A woodpecker or two - Made the grade, it is true, -But it totally baffled the stork. -% There was a young girl from Peru, Who had nothing whatever to do. So she sat on the stairs, @@ -3122,12 +2874,6 @@ Who wanted to dance in the ballet. When she kicked off her drawers, But her hair and her bush didn't tally. % -There was a young girl named Saphire -Who succumbed to her lovers desire. - She said, "It's a sin, - But now that it's in, -Could you shove it a few inches higher?" -% There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, @@ -3287,12 +3033,6 @@ Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat. And always had plenty to eat. % There was a young girl who begat -Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. - T'was fun in the breeding - But hell in the feeding -When she found there's no tit for Tat. -% -There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat. It was fun in the breeding, But hell in the feeding, @@ -3334,12 +3074,6 @@ Whose screams could be heard for a block away. The Rabbi in terror Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!" % -There was a young lad from Nahant -Who was made like the Sensitve Plant. - When asked, "Do you fuck?" - He replied, "No such luck. -I would if I could but I can't." -% There was a young lad from Siam, Whose sexlife was caught in a jam. He loved them real small, @@ -3371,12 +3105,6 @@ Who complained that it hurt her to pee. "That accounts for the state Of the cook and the captain and me." % -There was a young lady at sea -Who said, "God, how it hurts me to pee." - "I see," said the mate, - "That accounts for the state -Of the captain, the purser, and me." -% There was a young lady called Ciss Who went to the river to piss. A young man in a punt @@ -3389,12 +3117,6 @@ Who slept while the ship lay at anchor When she heard the mate say: "Let's lift up the topsheet and spanker!" % -There was a young lady from Bright, -Whose speed was much faster than light. - She went out one day - In a relative way -And returned on the previous night. -% There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace called Crystal. Said she, "It's all glass, @@ -3627,12 +3349,6 @@ Who went on a date with a builder. And he could and he should, And he did and it damn well near killed her. % -There was a young lady named Gloria -Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier, - And then by six men, - Sir Gerald again, -And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria. -% There was a young lady named Gloria, Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?" She replied to the chap, @@ -3694,12 +3410,6 @@ Whose tits would jiggle like jelly. And could even swat flies on her belly. % There was a young lady named Ransom -Who was raped three times in a hansom - When she cried out for more - Said a voice from the floor, -"My name, ma'am, is Simpson, not Samson -% -There was a young lady named Ransom Who was rogered three times in a hansom. When she cried out for more A voice from the floor @@ -3787,7 +3497,7 @@ And God! how I wish it were me. There was a young lady of Dee Whose hymen was split into three. And when she was diddled - The middle string fiddled : + The middle string fiddled: "Nearer My God To Thee." % There was a young lady of Dexter @@ -3910,12 +3620,6 @@ Said to her beau, "I've a feeling Has need of a plug" -- And straightaway she started to peeling. % -There was a young lady of Wheeling -Who professed to lack sexual feeling. - But a cynic named Boris - Just touched her clitoris, -And she had to be scraped off the ceiling. -% There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, @@ -3964,12 +3668,6 @@ Who was screwing his girl on the stair. So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air. % -There was a young man from Bengal -Who claimed he had only one ball, - But two little bitches - Pulled down this man's breeches -And proved he had nothing at all. -% There was a young man from Biloxi Whose bowels responded to Moxie. Drinking glass after glass, @@ -3982,12 +3680,6 @@ Who fashioned a cunt out of clay Turned it into a brick And rubbed all his foreskin away. % -There was a young man from Boston -Who rode around in an Austin. - There was room for his ass - And a gallon of gas, -But his balls hung out and he lost 'em. -% There was a young man from Calcutta Who was heard in his beard to mutter, "If her Bartholin glands @@ -4169,12 +3861,6 @@ Whose balls got caught in a socket. So she threw the switch, And Crockett went off like a rocket. % -There was a young man named Crockett -Whose balls got caught in a socket. - His wife was a bitch, - Yeah, she threw the switch, -And Crockett went off like a rocket. -% There was a young man named Hughes Who swore off all kinds of booze. He said, "When I'm muddled @@ -4187,18 +3873,6 @@ Who had warts all over his root. And now when he pees, He fingers the thing like a flute. % -There was a young man named Laplace -Whose balls were made out of spun glass. - When they banged together - They played "Stormy Weather" -And lightning shot out of his ass. -% -There was a young man named McNamiter -With a tool of prodigious diameter. - But it wasn't the size - Gave the girls a surprise, -But his rythm -- iambic pentameter. -% There was a young man named Rex Who really was small for his sex. When tried for exposure @@ -4277,12 +3951,6 @@ Whose cock reached up to the ceiling. He'd put it and rock it-- Oh God! What a wonderful feeling! % -There was a young man of Devizes -Whose balls were of different sizes. - His tool when at ease, - Hung down to his knees, -Oh, what must it be when it rises! -% There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, @@ -4295,12 +3963,6 @@ Who said to his girl, "If you please, If, while playing with this, You would pay some attention to these!" % -There was a young man of Greenwich -Whose balls were all covered with spinach. - So long was his tool - That it wound round a spool, -And he let it out inach by inach. -% There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious relation Making love in a ditch @@ -4319,12 +3981,6 @@ Who lured a poor girl to her doom. But buggered and sucked her-- And left her to pay for the room. % -There was a young man of Kildare -Who was fucking a girl on the stair. - The bannister broke, - But he doubled his stroke -And finished her off in mid-air. -% There was a young man of Kutki Who could blink himself off with one eye. For a while though, he pined, @@ -4573,12 +4229,6 @@ Who had verses tattooed on her tail, For the sake of the blind, A duplicate version in Braille. % -There was a young whore from Kaloo -Who filled her vagina with glue. - She said with a grin, - "If they pay to get in, -They can pay to get out again too!" -% There was a young woman called Pearl Who quite resembled a churl; When she asked a young man named Tex @@ -4726,12 +4376,6 @@ Who in her old age got religion. Said she, "I'll take on The Father, the Son, and the Pigeon." % -There was an old hermit named Dave -Who kept a dead whore in his cave. - He said "I'll admit - I'm a bit of a shit, -But look at the money I save." -% There was an old lady of Bingly Who wailed, "I do hate to sleep singly. I thought I had got @@ -4768,12 +4412,6 @@ Who liked to do tricks in the hall. Was to stand on his dick While he rolled around on one ball. % -There was an old man from Duluth -Whose cock was shot off in his youth. - He fucked with his nose - Or his fingers and toes -And he came thru a hole in his tooth. -% There was an old man from Fort Drum Whose son was incredibly dumb. When he urged him ahead, @@ -4833,12 +4471,6 @@ Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." -% -There was an old man of St. Bees, -Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. - When asked, "Does it hurt?" - He relied, "No, it doesn't. -I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." -- W.S. Gilbert % There was an old man of Tagore @@ -4853,12 +4485,6 @@ Who frigged himself into a fountain Still he wasn't content, He simply got tired of the counting. % -There was an old man of the port -Whose prick was remarkably short. - When he got into bed, - The old woman said, -"That isn't a prick; it's a wart!" -% There was an old man who said, "Tush! My balls always hang in the brush, And I fumble about, @@ -4919,12 +4545,6 @@ Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench. He could reach, in a trice, The innermost parts of a wench. % -There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel -Who said, "They can all go to hell! - What they do to my wife-- - Why it ruins my life; -And the worst is, they all do it well. -% There were three ladies of Huxham, And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em, And when that game grows stale @@ -5073,24 +4693,18 @@ Your cunt is as big as a dish!" With your limp little tool It's like driving a nail with a fish!" % -To his bride said a numskull named Clarence : +To his bride said a numskull named Clarence: "I trust you will show some forbearance. My sexual habits I picked up from rabbits, And occasionally watching my parents." % -To his bride said economist Fife : +To his bride said economist Fife: "The semen you'll launch as my wife, We will salvage and freeze To resemble goat's cheese, And slice for hors d'oeuvres with a knife." % -To his bride said the keen-eyed detective, -"Can it be that my eyesight's defective? - Has the east tit the least bit - The best of the west tit, -Or is it the faulty perspective?" -% To his bride, said the sharp eyed detective, "Can it be that my eyesight's defective? Is your east tit the least bit @@ -5153,7 +4767,7 @@ Dispar modus testicularum: Jam fecerat altera clarum. % We dedicate this to the cunt, -The kind the broad-minded guys hunt : +The kind the broad-minded guys hunt: All hail to the twat, Willing, thrilling, and hot, That wears peckers down, limp and blunt! @@ -5239,7 +4853,7 @@ To a guard he cried, "Hey, man, you're cute. And then I shall blow on your flute." % You've heard of the bishop of Birmingham, -Well, here's the new story concerning 'im : +Well, here's the new story concerning 'im: He buggers the choir As they sing "Ave Maria," And fucks all the girls whilst confirming 'em. |
