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Diffstat (limited to 'games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real')
| -rw-r--r-- | games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real | 46 |
1 files changed, 18 insertions, 28 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real index 3733ef9..93fe0ef 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real @@ -4364,7 +4364,7 @@ woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, "The way I look at it, she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds." -- David Letterman % -ASS: +Ass, n.: The masculine of "lass". % Ass, grass or gas... nobody rides for free! @@ -4823,7 +4823,7 @@ Oh, blimey... [chorus] % -CHRIST: +Christ, n.: A man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead of his time. % Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not @@ -4946,7 +4946,7 @@ Is the ultimate way you can have 'er. Means a man needn't wait, And eliminates all the palaver. % -COLD: +Cold, adj.: When the local flashers are handing out written descriptions. % Cold, adj.: @@ -8749,8 +8749,8 @@ Kasha, n.: -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish" % Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: - Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex - for the students, and parking for the faculty. + Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, + and parking for the faculty. % Kill a commie for Christ! % @@ -8913,9 +8913,10 @@ replied. "Now, I might have had a cockatoo..." % LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with -reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for -employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are -prostitutes. All Libra people die of Venereal disease. + reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. + Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most + Libra women are prostitutes. All Libra people die of venereal + disease. % Lick-a-dee-clit! % @@ -10065,14 +10066,15 @@ smaller prime numbers. 3: The True Prime -- Lewis Carroll: "If I tell you 3 times, it's true." 31: The Arbitrary Prime -- - Determined by unanimous unvote. We needed an arbitrary prime in - case the prof asked for one, and so had an election. 91 received - the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the next most. - However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all. + Determined by unanimous unvote. We needed an arbitrary prime + in case the prof asked for one, and so had an election. 91 + received the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the + next most. However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none + at all. 41: The Female Prime -- The polynomial X**2 - X + 41 is prime for integer values from 1 to 40. -43: The Male Prime - they form a prime pair. +43: The Male Prime -- they form a prime pair. Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities are derived from those primes. So, for instance, the number 6 is "odd @@ -10822,7 +10824,7 @@ A: Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth!! Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls? A: Walk him and pitch to the rhino. % -Q: What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl?? +Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a sorority girl?? A: A woman that, when she goes down on you, gets blood. % Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a JAP? @@ -11367,12 +11369,9 @@ girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Democrats make up plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made. -Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. -The remainder is thrown out. - Republicans sleep in twin beds -- some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats. - -- The Official Rules, as compiled by Paul Dickson + -- Paul Dickson, "The Official Rules" % Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't. @@ -11985,6 +11984,7 @@ Sex is low in calories, and *oooh* that aftertaste! Sex is nobody's business but the three people involved. % Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. + -- Swami X % Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation ... the other eight are unimportant. @@ -12282,9 +12282,6 @@ Father, why do these words sound so nasty? % Sodomy is a pain in the ass. % -SOFTWARE: - Formal evening attire for female computer analysts. -% Some companies idea of playing ball is, you play ball with us, and we'll stick the fucking bat up your ass. % @@ -13337,13 +13334,6 @@ Called a girl a most elegant creature. And, exposing her crack, Said, "Fuck that, you old Sunday School Teacher!" % -The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher -Called a hen a most elegant creature. - The hen, pleased with that, - Laid an egg in his hat -- -And thus did the hen reward Beecher. - -- Oliver Wendell Holmes -% The REVERSE function works on the opposite SEXPR. % The rich man uses Vaseline, |
