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-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real33
1 files changed, 33 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
index 3078315..deec54b 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -12433,6 +12433,39 @@ And sure enough she'll take you home and make you wanna die.
(chorus)
-- Crosby, Stills, Nash, "Fair Game"
%
+Taken from actual police car videos:
+
+(15) Relax! The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
+ stretch out after you wear them awhile.
+(14) Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate
+ a worthless document.
+(13) If you run you'll only go to jail tired.
+(12) Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
+ know that's the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.
+(11) So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
+ can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
+(10) Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
+ it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor?
+(9) Warning? You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that
+ again or I'll give you another ticket.
+(8) The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
+ drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
+%
+Taken from actual police car videos:
+
+(7) Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
+ go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.
+(6) Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
+ oven.
+(5) No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but
+ now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
+(4) Just how big were those two beers?
+(3) In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC.
+(2) I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
+ yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
+(1) You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets?
+ You're right, we don't -- sign here.
+%
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit Happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
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