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| -rw-r--r-- | games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real | 33 |
1 files changed, 33 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real index 3078315..deec54b 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real @@ -12433,6 +12433,39 @@ And sure enough she'll take you home and make you wanna die. (chorus) -- Crosby, Stills, Nash, "Fair Game" % +Taken from actual police car videos: + +(15) Relax! The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll + stretch out after you wear them awhile. +(14) Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate + a worthless document. +(13) If you run you'll only go to jail tired. +(12) Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't + know that's the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun. +(11) So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I + can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? +(10) Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think + it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor? +(9) Warning? You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that + again or I'll give you another ticket. +(8) The answer to this last question will determine whether you are + drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? +% +Taken from actual police car videos: + +(7) Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you + go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop. +(6) Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster + oven. +(5) No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but + now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want. +(4) Just how big were those two beers? +(3) In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC. +(2) I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of + yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail. +(1) You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? + You're right, we don't -- sign here. +% Taoism: Shit Happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit Happens". Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. |
