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| -rw-r--r-- | games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes | 210 |
1 files changed, 27 insertions, 183 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes index c82a0b8..84b4530 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes @@ -8962,13 +8962,9 @@ Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered. % -ABSENTEE: - A person with an income who has had the forethought - to remove themselves from the sphere of exaction. -% Absentee, n.: - A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove -himself from the sphere of exaction. + A person with an income who has had the forethought + to remove himself from the sphere of exaction. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder. @@ -8976,13 +8972,9 @@ Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder. Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.) -- Stafford Beer % -ABSTAINER: +Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. -% -Abstainer, n.: - A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a -pleasure. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Abstract: @@ -8999,13 +8991,9 @@ immediately when tight neckwear was removed. Neck in Relation to Visual Performance." Human Factors 29, #1 (Feb. 1987), pp. 67-71. % -ABSURDITY: +Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -% -Absurdity, n.: - A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own -opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, @@ -10004,9 +9992,6 @@ Almost anything derogatory you could say about today's software design would be accurate. -- K. E. Iverson % -ALONE: - In bad company. -% Alone, adj.: In bad company. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -10107,9 +10092,6 @@ AMAZING BUT TRUE... There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert. % -AMBIDEXTROUS: - Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left. -% Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -10853,13 +10835,9 @@ cracking secret NATO codes and editing propaganda for your own people all at the same time with the other! (Well, you really can't, but the Americans think you can, and that's the point, right?) % -ANOINT: +Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. -% -Anoint, v.: - To grease a king or other great functionary already -sufficiently slippery. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Another day, another dollar. @@ -11220,14 +11198,9 @@ Applause, n: April is the cruelest month... -- Thomas Stearns Eliot % -AQUADEXTROUS: +Aquadextrous, adj.: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% -aquadextrous, adj.: - Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off -with your toes. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) @@ -12124,13 +12097,9 @@ in 1959. [Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching. -- Tris Speaker, 1921 % -BACCHUS: +Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. -% -Bacchus, n.: - A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for -getting drunk. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % BACHELOR: @@ -12237,13 +12206,9 @@ floor -- especially in the dark. Barker's Proof: Proofreading is more effective after publication. % -BAROMETER: +Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. -% -Barometer, n.: - An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we -are having. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Barth's Distinction: @@ -14191,14 +14156,9 @@ Cigarette, n.: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between. % -CINEMUCK: - The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate - which covers the floors of movie theaters. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% Cinemuck, n.: The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which -covers the floors of movie theaters. + covers the floors of movie theaters. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances. @@ -14975,9 +14935,6 @@ court, n.: Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. -- William Congreve % -COWARD: - One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. -% Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -15020,11 +14977,7 @@ Crenna's Law of Political Accountability: Crime does not pay... as well as politics. -- A. E. Neuman % -CRITIC: - A person who boasts himself hard to please - because nobody tries to please him. -% -critic, n.: +Critic, n.: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -15225,9 +15178,6 @@ Davis' Law of Traffic Density: Davis's Dictum: Problems that go away by themselves, come back by themselves. % -DAWN: - The time when men of reason go to bed. -% Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -15642,13 +15592,9 @@ with meditation, then in the future this problem child could become a wonder child. -- Dr. Albert Hoffman % -DELIBERATION: +Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. -% -Deliberation, n.: - The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is -buttered on. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow. @@ -15756,14 +15702,9 @@ board. Especially with those 14 year-old Valley girls. % Dental health is next to mental health. % -Dentist: +Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets. - -- Ambrose Bierce -% -Dentist, n.: - A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls -coins out of one's pockets. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Denver, n: @@ -16032,9 +15973,6 @@ but it does make you part of a larger picture. Distinctive, adj.: A different color or shape than our competitors. % -DISTRESS: - A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend. -% Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -16903,7 +16841,7 @@ Eat drink and be merry! Tomorrow you may be in Utah. % Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. % -"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work." +Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work. % Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. @@ -16996,9 +16934,6 @@ Egotism is the anesthetic which numbs the pain of stupidity. Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen. -Egotist, n: - A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. - -- Ambrose Bierce % Egotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. @@ -21089,15 +21024,9 @@ Gunter's Airborne Discoveries: (2) The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee. % -GURMLISH: +Gurmlish, n.: The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% -Gurmlish, n.: - The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which -prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof of his -mouth. -- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets" % GURU: @@ -28376,15 +28305,10 @@ Immutability, Three Rules of: (2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will. (3) If a teenager can go out, he will. % -IMPARTIAL: +Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions. -% -Impartial, adj.: - Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from -espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two -conflicting opinions. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Important letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the @@ -29111,9 +29035,6 @@ Include me out. Increased knowledge will help you now. Have mate's phone bugged. % -INCUMBENT: - Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents. -% Incumbent, n.: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -29304,15 +29225,10 @@ Interfere? Of course we should interfere! Always do what you're best at, that's what I say. -- Doctor Who % -INTERPRETER: +Interpreter, n.: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said. -% -Interpreter, n.: - One who enables two persons of different languages to -understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to -the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Into love and out again, @@ -31496,12 +31412,7 @@ Klatu barada nikto. % Kleeneness is next to Godelness. % -Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within. -% -Klein bottle for sale ... inquire within. -% -KLEPTOMANIAC: - A rich thief. +Klein bottle for sale -- inquire within. % Kleptomaniac, n.: A rich thief. @@ -31587,11 +31498,6 @@ Knucklehead: "I didn't know you could yodel" Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks. % -KROGT: - (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic silver coating found - on fast-food game cards. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% Krogt, n. (chemical symbol: Kr): The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" @@ -31615,14 +31521,9 @@ Lackland's Laws: 2. Never be last. 3. Never volunteer for anything. % -LACTOMANGULATION: - Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that - one has to resort to using the "illegal" side. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly -that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side. + that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % La-dee-dee, la-dee-dah. @@ -32193,9 +32094,6 @@ Lewis's Law of Travel: L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare. -- L. Pasteur % -LIAR: - A lawyer with a roving commission. -% Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -33183,11 +33081,8 @@ macho, adj.: Macho does not prove mucho. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor % -MAD: - Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. -% Mad, adj.: - Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ... + Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- @@ -33234,23 +33129,14 @@ with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % -MAGNOCARTIC: - Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% -magnocartic, adj: +Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % -MAGPIE: +Magpie, n.: A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk. - -- A. Bierce -% -Magpie, n.: - A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it -might be taught to talk. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % MAIDEN AUNT: @@ -34327,22 +34213,15 @@ Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. -- Russell Baker % -MISFORTUNE: - The kind of fortune that never misses. -% Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Misfortunes arrive on wings and leave on foot. % -MISS: +Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. -% -Miss, n.: - A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that -they are in the market. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure. @@ -34462,19 +34341,12 @@ awakened? The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane's intercom, finally woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion. "Feeling better now?" he asked solicitously. % -MOLECULE: +Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion... -% -Molecule, n.: - The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished -from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a -closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of -matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the -atom in that it is an ion ... -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: @@ -36723,9 +36595,6 @@ Tapas, n: Dim Sum, n: Chinese for more food than you've ever seen in your entire life. % -November: - The eleventh twelfth of a weariness. -% November, n.: The eleventh twelfth of a weariness. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -37429,8 +37298,6 @@ Once, adv.: Enough. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % -Once, adv.: Enough. -% Once again dread deed is done. Canon sleeps, his all-knowing eye shaded @@ -43162,14 +43029,9 @@ Practice crawling. % Slowly and surely the unix crept up on the Nintendo user ... % -SLURM: - The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it - sits in the dish too long. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% Slurm, n.: The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when -it sits in the dish too long. + it sits in the dish too long. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % Small change can often be found under seat cushions. @@ -43208,16 +43070,10 @@ Smoking Prohibited. Absolutely no ifs, ands, or butts. Smuggling... It's not just a job, it's an adventure! -- paid for by your local Colombian recruiting office % -SNACKTREK: +Snacktrek, n.: The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% -Snacktrek, n.: - The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly -returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have -materialized. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? @@ -53458,9 +53314,6 @@ of him that brought her birth. % Truth will be out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.) % -TRUTHFUL: - Dumb and illiterate. -% Truthful, adj.: Dumb and illiterate. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" @@ -58053,13 +57906,9 @@ Wisdom is rarely found on the best-seller list. Wishing without work is like fishing without bait. -- Frank Tyger % -WIT: +Wit, n.: The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery... by leaving it out. -% -Wit, n.: - The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery -... by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I @@ -59038,14 +58887,9 @@ feet. Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again. -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love" % -YINKEL: +Yinkel, n.: A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice. - -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends -% -Yinkel, n.: - A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one -will notice. -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" % You ain't learning nothing when you're talking. |
