Fix a bunch of typos and spelling errors.

PR:		misc/12965
Partially Submitted by:	Patrick Seal <patseal@hyperhost.net>

5 files changed, 230 insertions, 230 deletions

diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 7fb9c49..f5c7e5a 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -2157,7 +2157,7 @@ Boston, n.:
 	Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for
 finishing second in the Irish jig competition.
 %
-"Boy, life takes a long time to live
+Boy, life takes a long time to live
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 Boy, n.:
@@ -6559,7 +6559,7 @@ If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
 If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
 dropped.  The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to
 maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it
-must drop.  The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf.
+must drop.  The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.
 		-- Donald A. Metz
 %
 "If a team is in a positive frame of mind, it will have a good
@@ -8537,7 +8537,7 @@ carts.
 		-- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"
 %
 Magpie, n.:
-	A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it
+	A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it
 might be taught to talk.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
@@ -8615,9 +8615,9 @@ is an enemy.
 %
 Man, n.:
 	An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks
-e is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.  His hief
-occupation is extermination of other animals and his own pecies, which,
-however, multiplies with such insistent apidity as to infest the whole
+he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.  His chief
+occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which,
+however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole
 habitable earth and Canada.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
@@ -11335,7 +11335,7 @@ Seminars, n.:
 	From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
 %
 Sen. Danforth:	"There is nothing on the face of the album which would
-		notify you if the record has pornographics material or
+		notify you if the record has pornographic material or
 		material glorifying violence?"
 Tipper Gore:	"No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me."
 Frank Zappa:	"I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's
@@ -13439,7 +13439,7 @@ The Third Law:	You can only break even at absolute zero.
 %
 		The Three Major Kind of Tools
 
-* Tools for hittings things to make them loose or to tighten them up or
+* Tools for hitting things to make them loose or to tighten them up or
   jar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a
   manner that they function perfectly.  (These are your hammers, maces,
   bludgeons, and truncheons.)
@@ -15104,7 +15104,7 @@ What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?  Or what's
 worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
 		-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 %
-What is a magician but a practising theorist?
+What is a magician but a practicing theorist?
 		-- Obi-Wan Kenobi
 %
 What is mind?  No matter.
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index e5e39b6..a759b58 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -145,7 +145,7 @@ been inspected.  (You have 15 minutes.)
 HISTORY
 	Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
 day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,
-economic, religious and philisophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and
+economic, religious and philosophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and
 Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
 
 BIOLOGY
@@ -317,7 +317,7 @@ on personal stationery
 		`O' LEVEL COUNTER CULTURE
 Timewarp allowed: 3 hours.  Do not scrawl situationalist graffiti in the
 margins or stub your rollups in the inkwells.  Orange may be worn.  Credit
-will be given to candidates who self-actualise.
+will be given to candidates who self-actualize.
 
 	1: Compare and contrast Pink Floyd with Black Sabbath and say why
 neither has street credibility.
@@ -1044,7 +1044,7 @@ with social conventions?"
 %
 	A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter
 carrying a shotgun and a dead loon.  "What in the world do you think you're
-doing?  Don't you know that the loon is on the endagered species list?"
+doing?  Don't you know that the loon is on the endangered species list?"
 	Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger his game bag,
 which contained twelve more loons.
 	"Why would you shoot loons?", the ranger asked.
@@ -1117,7 +1117,7 @@ going to it is so large.
 electronics more likely to leak than say Bosch?  Hmmm...  Aha!!!  Lucas is
 British, and all things British leak!  British convertible tops leak water,
 British engines leak oil, British displacer units leak hydrostatic fluid, and
-I might add Brititsh tires leak air, and the British defense unit leaks
+I might add British tires leak air, and the British defense unit leaks
 secrets... so naturally British electronics leak smoke.
 		-- Jack Banton, PCC Automotive Electrical School
 %
@@ -1194,7 +1194,7 @@ favorite robot, faithful old Yewtoo Artoo, to carry his gear and do assorted
 camp chores.
 	The Israelites soon got over their initial fear of the robot and,
 	as the months passed, became very fond of him.  Patriarchs took to
-discussing abtruse theological problems with him, and each evening the
+discussing abstruse theological problems with him, and each evening the
 children all gathered to hear the many stories with which he was programmed.
 Therefore it came as a great shock to them when, just as their journey was
 ending, he abruptly wore out.  Even Feghoot couldn't console them.
@@ -1513,7 +1513,7 @@ Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension,
 Salvatore Quanucci was suddenly squirted out of the universe
 like a watermelon seed, and never heard from again.
 %
-	Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted
+	Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermont noted
 in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks.  I think we need more
 owls."
 		-- Bill Adler, "The Washington Wits"
@@ -1634,7 +1634,7 @@ him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
 She's a women who conks to stupor.
 	Upon reading a story about a man who throttled his mother-in-law, a
 man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."
-	It's not the inital skirt length, it's the upcreep.
+	It's not the initial skirt length, it's the upcreep.
 	It's the theory of Jess Birnbaum, of Time magazine, that women with
 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
 %
@@ -1651,12 +1651,12 @@ after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely,
 "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
 charming a wife."
 %
-	Everthing is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
+	Everything is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
 far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
 	It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
 days.  And have you noticed the smaller print they use in the newspapers?
-	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everbody
+	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everybody
 speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
 	The material in dresses is so skimpy now, especially around the hips
 and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
@@ -1745,7 +1745,7 @@ had the same fiancee, and told him.  "Get out of our lives you rascal.  We'll
 teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
 	A domineering man married a mere wisp of a girl.  He came back from
 his honeymoon a chastened man.  He'd become aware of the will of the wisp.
-	A young husband with an inferiorty complex insisted he was just a
+	A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a
 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
 save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
 %
@@ -2048,7 +2048,7 @@ I think very probably he might be cured."
 things that are called the eyes, and which exist to make an agreeable soft
 depression in the face, are diseased, in the case of Bogota, in such a way
 as to affect his brain.  They are greatly distended, he has eyelashes, and
-his eyelids move, and cosequently his brain is in a state of constant
+his eyelids move, and consequently his brain is in a state of constant
 irritation and distraction."
 	"Yes?" said old Yacob.  "Yes?"
 	"And I think I may say with reasonable certainty that, in order
@@ -2069,7 +2069,7 @@ at present".
 myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him
 immediately some absurdity in his proposition.  In answering I began by
 observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right,
-but in the present case there appeared or semed to me some difference, etc.
+but in the present case there appeared or seemed to me some difference, etc.
 	I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the
 conversations I engaged in went on more pleasantly.  The modest way in which I
 proposed my opinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction.
@@ -2108,7 +2108,7 @@ closing the book.
 		-- Susan Brownmiller, "Against Our Will"
 %
 	[I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,
-including beets, rutabegas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
+including beets, rutabagas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
 as I am absolutely terrified of yams...
 	Actually, I think my fear of yams began in my early youth, when many
 of my young comrades pelted me with same for singing songs of far-off lands
@@ -2237,7 +2237,7 @@ pie-bakers and pie-dividers is way out of whack."  Could Dick Butcher have
 been an efficiency expert?
 		-- Motor Trend, May 1983
 %
-	In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
+	In the beginning, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
 mud."
 	And there was mud.
 	And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud
@@ -2261,7 +2261,7 @@ evening and there was morning, one interrupt.
 		-- Rico Tudor, "The Story of Creation or, The Myth of Urk"
 %
 	In the beginning there was only one kind of Mathematician, created by
-the Great Mathamatical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
+the Great Mathematical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
 large numbers and prospered.
 	One day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far
 as the eye could see.  So they set out in building a Mathematical edifice that
@@ -2294,7 +2294,7 @@ sat hacking at the PDP-6.
 	At this Minsky shut his eyes, and Sussman asked his teacher "Why do
 you close your eyes?"
 	"So that the room will be empty."
-	At that momment, Sussman was enlightened.
+	At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.
 %
 	In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish.  It
 changes into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky.  When this
@@ -2679,7 +2679,7 @@ We were 15 days on the water, and 3 on the boat when we finally arrived in
 Africa.  Upon our arrival we immediately set up a rigorous schedule:  Up at
 6:00, breakfast, and back in bed by 7:00.  Pretty soon we were back in bed by
 6:30.  Now Africa is full of big game.  The first day I shot two bucks.  That
-was the biggest game we had.  Africa is primerally inhabited by Elks, Moose
+was the biggest game we had.  Africa is primarily inhabited by Elks, Moose
 and Knights of Pithiests.
 	The elks live up in the mountains and come down once a year for their
 annual conventions.  And you should see them gathered around the water hole,
@@ -2726,7 +2726,7 @@ audience, either."
 	Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
 you.  He doesn't know.  Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
 oncoming band of Hell's Angels for you.  She doesn't know.  Never ask how many
-cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal committment.
+cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal commitment.
 	Never ask to see pictures of your lover's former lovers -- especially
 the ones who dived in front of trains.  If you look like one of them, you are
 repeating history's mistakes.  If you don't, you'll wonder what he or she saw
@@ -3134,7 +3134,7 @@ body functions.
 	Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices.  No one else in
 town could compete with the pie rates of Penn's aunts.
 	During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm.  He
-stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an agressive Rhode
+stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an aggressive Rhode
 Island Red hopped on top.  Seeing this, the farmer commented, "Chicken catch
 a Tory!"
 	A wife started serving chopped meat, Monday hamburger, Tuesday meat
@@ -3484,7 +3484,7 @@ to the Berkeley UNIX version of `ls'?"
 %
 	Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.  Five years later?
 Six?  It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that
-never comes again.  San Fransisco in the middle sixties was a very special time
+never comes again.  San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time
 and place to be a part of.  Maybe it meant something.  Maybe not, in the long
 run...  There was madness in any direction, at any hour.  If not across the
 Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda...  You could
@@ -3729,7 +3729,7 @@ liquid.
 	He switches me on to a positive behavioral format for maximal
 prestige of His identity.
 	It should indeed be said that notwithstanding the fact that I make
-ambulatory progress through the umbragious inter-hill mortality slot, terror
+ambulatory progress through the umbrageous inter-hill mortality slot, terror
 sensations will no be initiated in me, due to para-etical phenomena.
 	Your pastoral walking aid and quadrupic pickup unit introduce me
 into a pleasurific mood state.
@@ -4053,7 +4053,7 @@ appropriate for the master is not appropriate for the novice.  You must
 understand the Tao before transcending structure."
 		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
-	There once was this swami who lived above a delicatessan.  Seems one
+	There once was this swami who lived above a delicatessen.  Seems one
 day he decided to stop in downstairs for some fresh liver.  Well, the owner
 of the deli was a bit of a cheap-skate, and decided to pick up a little extra
 change at his customer's expense.  Turning quietly to the counterman, he
@@ -4077,7 +4077,7 @@ they're carrying upstairs!"
 %
 	There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped
 three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked 
-each of them in seperate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
+each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
 can opener.
 	A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's
 cell and found it long empty.  The engineer had constructed a can opener from
@@ -4354,7 +4354,7 @@ explain the failure of your three marriages."
 product."
 		-- Jules Feiffer
 %
-	Well, he thought, since neither Aristotilian Logic nor the disciplines
+	Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines
 of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them...
 	Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced
 only by Masters of the Universal Way of Zen.  In it his mind floated freely,
@@ -4525,7 +4525,7 @@ it does.  We call it a two-by-four."
 		-- "Shoe", Jeff MacNelly
 %
 	When, in 1964, New Hampshire Republican Senator Norris Cotton announced
-his support of Bary Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was
+his support of Barry Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was
 questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal"
 political views.
 	"Well," explained Cotton, "it's like the New Hampshire farmer.  He was
@@ -5232,7 +5232,7 @@ What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
 %
 *** NEWS FLASH ***
 
-Archeologists find PDP-11/24 inside brain cavity of fossilized dinosaur
+Archaeologists find PDP-11/24 inside brain cavity of fossilized dinosaur
 skeleton!  Many Digital users fear that RSX-11M may be even more primitive
 than DEC admits.  Price adjustments at 11:00.
 %
@@ -5262,7 +5262,7 @@ awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
 	canine with innovative maneuvers.
 -- Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
 -- The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly
-	galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Farenheit.
+	galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
 %
 ... So the documentary-makers stick with sharks.  Generally, their
 procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as
@@ -5320,7 +5320,7 @@ discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
 	optimal cachinnation.
 -- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
 %
-... there are about 5,000 people who are part of that commitee.  These guys
+... there are about 5,000 people who are part of that committee.  These guys
 have a hard time sorting out what day to meet, and whether to eat croissants
 or doughnuts for breakfast -- let alone how to define how all these complex
 layers that are going to be agreed upon.
@@ -5580,7 +5580,7 @@ increase to more than $100,000,000 -- by which time it will be worth nothing.
 1/2 oz. gin
 1/2 oz. vodka
 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark)
-3/4 oz. tequilla
+3/4 oz. tequila
 1/2 oz. triple sec
 1/2 oz. orange juice
 3/4 oz. sour mix
@@ -6020,7 +6020,7 @@ A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:
 	It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
 	explained in terms that you would understand.
 
-6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMANTAL TREATMENT READILY.
+6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.
 	Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
 	research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
 %
@@ -6071,12 +6071,12 @@ A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
 		-- Joseph Campbell
 %
 A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
-with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.
+with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.
 		-- Mitch Ratcliffe
 %
 A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
 the president one of the latest talking computers.
-Salesman:	"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any quesstion
+Salesman:	"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any question
 		and it'll give the correct answer.  Computer, what is the
 		speed of light?"
 Computer:	186,000 miles per second.
@@ -6307,7 +6307,7 @@ should be masculine or feminine.
 	After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either
 Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandry about the final choice.
 	"Is a Nissan male or female?" he began asking his friends.  Most of
-them looked at him pecularly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
+them looked at him peculiarly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
 went on their way rather quickly.
 	He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
 belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered "Feminine."
@@ -6427,7 +6427,7 @@ Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
 	  blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
 	  electrical shock to the horse.
 G:	  That's very good!  But let's hear from the chemist.
-Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that disolves
+Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves
 	  into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
 	  cannot be detected in post-race tests.
 G:	  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
@@ -7289,7 +7289,7 @@ to his death.
 	"DUMB YANKEE."
 %
 A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered
-by the side of the street.  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned
+by the side of the street.  Curiosity got the better of him and he leaned
 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
 that a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused
 himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  "That's terrible," gasped
@@ -7587,7 +7587,7 @@ might be made an Archbishop."
 	"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
 	"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal."
 	"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?"
-	Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I supose that I could
+	Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I suppose that I could
 be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will."
 	"And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go
 up from being the Pope?"
@@ -7603,7 +7603,7 @@ entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.
 		-- Saul Alinsky
 %
 A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbor's throat without having
-his neighbour notice it.
+his neighbor notice it.
 		-- Trygve Lie
 %
 A real estate agent, looking over a farmer's house for possible sale,
@@ -7665,7 +7665,7 @@ banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.
 The banana weighs two ounces per inch.  The rope is as long (in feet) as
 the age of the monkey (in years), and the weight of the monkey (in ounces)
 is the same as the age of the monkey's mother.  The combined age of the
-monkey and its mother is thirdy years.  One half of the weight of the monkey,
+monkey and its mother is thirty years.  One half of the weight of the monkey,
 plus the weight of the banana, is one forth as much as the weight of the
 weight and the weight of the rope.  The monkey's mother is half as old as
 the monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she
@@ -7703,13 +7703,13 @@ I don't know what it's about.  I'm just the drummer.  Ask Peter.
 A Scholar asked his Master, "Master, would you advise me of a proper
 vocation?"
 	The Master replied, "Some men can earn their keep with the power of
-their minds.  Others must use thier strong backs, legs and hands.  This is
+their minds.  Others must use their strong backs, legs and hands.  This is
 the same in nature as it is with man.  Some animals acquire their food easily,
 such as rabbits, hogs and goats.  Other animals must fiercely struggle for
 their sustenance, like beavers, moles and ants.  So you see, the nature of
 the vocation must fit the individual.
 	"But I have no abilities, desires, or imagination, Master," the
-scholer sobbed.
+scholar sobbed.
 	Queried the Master... "Have you thought of becoming a salesperson?"
 %
 A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and
@@ -7723,7 +7723,7 @@ the vexation of thinking.
 %
 A sense of desolation and uncertainty, of futility, of the baselessness
 of aspirations, of the vanity of endeavor, and a thirst for a life giving
-water which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in conciousness
+water which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in consciousness
 of this necessary reorganization of our lives.
 
 It is difficult to believe that this state of mind can be produced by the
@@ -7958,7 +7958,7 @@ sitting in the yard watching the pig.
 	"Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
 was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
-	"Amazing!"  the salesman exlaimed.
+	"Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
 	"And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on
 the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.  
 That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
@@ -7986,7 +7986,7 @@ when the faculty loses interest in students.
 %
 A vacuum is a hell of a lot better
 than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.
-		-- Tenessee Williams
+		-- Tennessee Williams
 %
 A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
 		-- Samuel Goldwyn
@@ -8037,7 +8037,7 @@ A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
 A witty saying proves nothing.
 		-- Voltaire
 %
-"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are recticent to admit,
+"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
 let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact remains that 
 there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, 
 completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It is for this group of
@@ -8477,7 +8477,7 @@ Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.
 Actually, the probability is 100% that the elevator
 will be going in the right direction.  Proof by induction:
 
-N=1.	Trivialy true, since both you and the elevator
+N=1.	Trivially true, since both you and the elevator
 	only have one floor to go to.
 
 Assume true for N, prove for N+1:
@@ -8583,7 +8583,7 @@ Fuchsia:		Fast
 Gardenia:		Secret, untold love
 Honeysuckle:		Bonds of love
 Ivy:			Friendship, fidelity, marriage
-Jasmine:		Amiablity, transports of joy, sensuality
+Jasmine:		Amiability, transports of joy, sensuality
 Leaves (dead):		Melancholy
 Lilac:			Youthful innocence
 Lilly:			Purity, sweetness
@@ -8683,7 +8683,7 @@ his own."
 	It was so granted.
 %
 After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, 
-claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
+claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
 in a wheelchair.  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his
 bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable  of walking, the
 judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.
@@ -9361,7 +9361,7 @@ Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.
 		 -- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson
 
 The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that
-from time to time threaten freedoms everyhere... Indeed, it is difficult
+from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
 to appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the
 Union's valiant representation in the courts of the constitutional rights
 of people of all persuasions, no matter how unpopular or even despised
@@ -9673,7 +9673,7 @@ An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
 %
 An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
 %
-An infallible method of concilliating a tiger
+An infallible method of conciliating a tiger
 is to allow oneself to be devoured.
 		-- Konrad Adenauer
 %
@@ -9963,7 +9963,7 @@ please don't try this at home!'"
 %
 And what accomplished villains these old engineers were!  What diabolical
 ways to sabotage they found!  Nikolai Karlovich von Meck, of the People's
-Comissariat of Railroads ... would hold forth for hours on end about the
+Commissariat of Railroads ... would hold forth for hours on end about the
 economic problems involved in the construction of socialism, and he loved to
 give advice.  One such pernicious piece of advice was to increase the size
 of freight trains and not worry about heavier than average loads.  The GPU
@@ -10223,7 +10223,7 @@ has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.
 		-- J.P. Morgan
 %
 Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years
-organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
+organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
 		-- David Broder
 %
 Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the
@@ -10365,7 +10365,7 @@ Applause, n:
 	The echo of a platitude from the mouth of a fool.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce
 %
-April is the cruellest month...
+April is the cruelest month...
 		-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
 %
 AQUADEXTROUS:
@@ -10457,7 +10457,7 @@ say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
 	Wipe that smile off your face.
 	I don't believe you.
 	How many times have I told you to be careful?
-	Just beacuse.
+	Just because.
 %
 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
 say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
@@ -10723,7 +10723,7 @@ years, left the sect he was associated with.  The problem is that once the
 untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
 and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and
 high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are
-suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
+surprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
 		-- Steve Allen
 %
 As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very
@@ -10763,7 +10763,7 @@ Ken-L-Ration dog food makes your complexion clear,
 Simonize your baby in a Hershey candy bar,
 And Texaco's a beauty cream that's used by every star.
 
-Take your next vacation in a brand new Frigedaire,
+Take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire,
 Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear,
 Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're three,
 And people over sixty-five should bathe in Lipton tea.
@@ -10841,7 +10841,7 @@ Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"
  2. I use shoe polish to excess.
  3. God is love.
  4. I like mannish children.
- 5. I have always been diturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
+ 5. I have always been disturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
  6. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.
  7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.
  8. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.
@@ -11143,7 +11143,7 @@ AUCTION:
 Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.
 		-- G.J. Danton
 %
-audophile, n:
+audiophile, n:
 	Someone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.
 %
 Auribus teneo lupum.
@@ -11550,7 +11550,7 @@ different from being stoned on gin.
 %
 Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
 standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
-		-- unamed Justice Department official
+		-- unnamed Justice Department official
 %
 Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
 %
@@ -12054,7 +12054,7 @@ Multics, adj:
 	brain-damaged is bad; it also implies it is unusable.
 %
 Brandy Davis, an outfielder and teammate of mine with the Pittsburgh Pirates,
-is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnatti was beating us 3-1, and I led
+is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnati was beating us 3-1, and I led
 off the bottom of the eighth with a walk.  The next hitter banged a hard
 single to right field.  Feeling the wind at my back, I rounded second and
 kept going, sliding safely into third base.
@@ -13218,7 +13218,7 @@ It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
 		-- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
 %
 Come fill the cup and in the fire of spring
-Your winter garment of repentence fling.
+Your winter garment of repentance fling.
 The bird of time has but a little way
 To flutter -- and the bird is on the wing.
 		-- Omar Khayyam
@@ -13744,7 +13744,7 @@ Croll's Query:
 	If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?
 %
 Cropp's Law:
-	The amount of work done varies inversly
+	The amount of work done varies inversely
 	with the time spent in the office.
 %
 Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.
@@ -15384,7 +15384,7 @@ imagery and Appledom.  Even words look like decorative filigrees in exotic
 typefaces.  The greatest icon of all, the inviolable Apple itself, stands in
 the dominate position at the upper-left corner of the screen.  A central
 corporate headquarters decrees the form of all rites and practices.
-Infalliable doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs
+Infallible doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs
 in a sealed boardroom.  Should anyone in his curia question his powers, the
 offender is excommunicated into outer darkness.  The expelled heretic founds
 a new company, mutters obscurely of the coming age and the next computer,
@@ -15465,7 +15465,7 @@ But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire,
 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it.
 		-- Harry Secombe's diet
 %
-Eat drink and be merry!  Tommorrow you may be in Utah.
+Eat drink and be merry!  Tomorrow you may be in Utah.
 %
 Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
 %
@@ -15727,7 +15727,7 @@ Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
 %
 Enjoy yourself while you're still old.
 %
-Entreprenuer, n:
+Entrepreneur, n:
 	A high-rolling risk taker who would rather
 	be a spectacular failure than a dismal success.
 %
@@ -16409,13 +16409,13 @@ Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof.  There are many examples
 of outsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies,
 but they prevailed with irrefutable data.  More often, egregious findings
 that contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts.  I have
-argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic conciousness,"
+argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic consciousness,"
 and the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the foundations of
 neuroscience.  Before abandoning materialist theories of mind that have paid
 handsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for psi phenomena
 than presently exists, especially when neurology and psychology themselves
 offer more plausible alternatives.
-		-- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness:
+		-- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness:
 		   Implications for Psi Phenomena".
 %
 Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.
@@ -16613,7 +16613,7 @@ Fear is the greatest salesman.
 		-- Robert Klein
 %
 feature, n:
-	A surprising property of a program.  Occasionaly documented.  To
+	A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally documented.  To
 	call a property a feature sometimes means the author did not
 	consider that case, and the program makes an unexpected, though
 	not necessarily wrong response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug, it's
@@ -16639,7 +16639,7 @@ That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
 For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
 A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
 You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
-And when not being utilitized to aid in locomotion,
+And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
 It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
 Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
 Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
@@ -16915,7 +16915,7 @@ flowchart, n. & v.
 	[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
 	"a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
 	1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni
-	construction problems in which given algoritms require geometrical
+	construction problems in which given algorithms require geometrical
 	representation using only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI
 	template.  2. n. Neronic doodling while the system burns.
 	3. n. A low-cost substitute for wallpaper.  4. n.  The innumerate
@@ -17002,7 +17002,7 @@ when moving between an mskipand ordinary skip, the conversion factor
 %
 For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
 %
-For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel
+For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel
 and cook.
 		-- Quentin Crisp
 %
@@ -17251,7 +17251,7 @@ the person making the claim, not the critic.  It is not the responsibility
 of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
 responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
 or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic's role is to point out
-claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
+claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
 provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
 the accepted body of scientific evidence.
 		-- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,
@@ -17569,7 +17569,7 @@ skilled written communicator:
 	the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.
 
 growth potential:
-	With proper guidance, periodic counselling, and remedial training,
+	With proper guidance, periodic counseling, and remedial training,
 	the reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet
 	the minimum requirements expected of him by the company.
 
@@ -17833,7 +17833,7 @@ FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#1
 	A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
 	    rather then a spotted one.
 	Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees
-		while peauts grow underground.  They are classified as a
+		while peanuts grow underground.  They are classified as a
 		legume-part of the pea family.
 	A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.
 %
@@ -17975,7 +17975,7 @@ sharp-eared informant transcribed the following exchange between our hero
 and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.
 
 Dingell: "There are places in the world at the present time where we are
-	  having to artifically propogate oysters and clams."
+	  having to artificially propagate oysters and clams."
 Hoffman: "You mean the oysters I buy are not nature's oysters?"
 Dingell: "They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter is
 	  that female oysters through their living habits cast out large
@@ -18154,7 +18154,7 @@ convulsed with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.
 %
 From too much love of living,
 From hope and fear set free,
-We thank with brief thanskgiving,
+We thank with brief thanksgiving,
 Whatever gods may be,
 That no life lives forever,
 That dead men rise up never,
@@ -18411,12 +18411,12 @@ Getting into trouble is easy.
 %
 Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked
 out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.
-		-- Melvin Belli on the occcasion of his getting kicked out
+		-- Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out
 		   of the American Bar Association
 %
 Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
 
-Corrollary:
+Corollary:
 	Following the rules will not get the job done.
 %
 Getting there is only half as far as getting there and back.
@@ -19176,7 +19176,7 @@ guru, n:
 %
 gy-ro-scope:
 	A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
-	free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
+	free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to
 	each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
 	two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
 	torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
@@ -19333,7 +19333,7 @@ Handel's Proverb:
 	You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!
 %
 handshaking protocol, n:
-	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a
+	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a
 	terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
 	occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
 %
@@ -19567,7 +19567,7 @@ but a lot harder than it appears.
 %
 Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
 appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
-and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
+and its salient virtuosi a gang of unmitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
 not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
 incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
 		-- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
@@ -19673,7 +19673,7 @@ Why don't you go where fashion sits,
 Dressed up like a million dollar trooper,
 Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper, (super dooper)
 Come, let's mix where Rockefeller's walk with sticks,
-Or umberellas, in their mitts,
+Or umbrellas, in their mitts,
 Puttin' on the Ritz.
 ...
 If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
@@ -20067,7 +20067,7 @@ Hear about...
 	up a chopped libber?
 %
 Hear about...
-	the guru who refused Novacain while having a tooth pulled because
+	the guru who refused Novocain while having a tooth pulled because
 	he wanted to transcend dental medication?
 %
 Hear about...
@@ -20146,7 +20146,7 @@ Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
 Hello, friend!  You say things aren't going too well?  You say you have a 
 date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?  
 And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so 
-you set off accross the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right 
+you set off across the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right 
 smack in the puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you 
 don't hear your girl screaming any more?  
 
@@ -20845,7 +20845,7 @@ I would not have lost so much for recreation.
 Nor for love as the sweet pretend: the children's game
 of deliberate ignorance of each to allow the dreaming.
 Not for the impersonal belly nor the heart's drunkenness
-have I come this far, stubborn, disasterous way.
+have I come this far, stubborn, disastrous way.
 But for relish of those archipelagoes of person.
 To hold her in hand, closed as any sparrow,
 and call and call forever till she turn from bird
@@ -21083,7 +21083,7 @@ terrifies people the most.
 I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
 		-- John Hinckley
 %
-I ain't got no quarrle with them Viet Congs.
+I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.
 		-- Muhammad Ali
 %
 I allow the world to live as it chooses,
@@ -21297,7 +21297,7 @@ particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
 %
 I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute
 -- where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic)
-how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom
+how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom
 to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
 political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely
 because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or
@@ -22313,8 +22313,8 @@ take one along that worked.
 		-- Raymond Chandler
 %
 I know if you been talkin' you done said
-just how suprised you wuz by the living dead.
-You wuz suprised that they could understand you words
+just how surprised you wuz by the living dead.
+You wuz surprised that they could understand you words
 and never respond once to all the truth they heard.
 But don't you get square!
 There ain't no rule that says they got to care.
@@ -22460,7 +22460,7 @@ but for what I am when I am with you.
 %
 I loved her with a love thirsty and desperate. I felt that we two might
 commit some act so atrocious that the world, seeing us, would find it
-irresistable.
+irresistible.
 		-- Gene Wolfe, "The Shadow of the Torturer"
 %
 I married beneath me.  All women do.
@@ -22556,7 +22556,7 @@ I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
 		-- Lucy Van Pelt
 %
 I never met a man I didn't want to fight.
-		-- Lyle Alzado, professional footbal lineman
+		-- Lyle Alzado, professional football lineman
 %
 I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
 %
@@ -22817,7 +22817,7 @@ I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
 		-- The Best of Will Rogers
 %
-I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to
+I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to
 the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about
 us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
 		-- The Best of Will Rogers
@@ -22927,7 +22927,7 @@ I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a
 department store, and he asked for my autograph.
 		-- Shirley Temple
 %
-I suggest a new stategy, Artoo: let the Wookiee win.
+I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookiee win.
 		-- CP30
 %
 I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school,
@@ -23043,7 +23043,7 @@ that I am!
 		-- Monty Python
 %
 "I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
-"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manafacturers of dairy products."
+"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy products."
 		-- The Life of Brian
 %
 I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.
@@ -23277,7 +23277,7 @@ near the place.
 I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals.  I
 don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
 with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
-the food cheaper, and old men and womem warmer in the winter, and happier
+the food cheaper, and old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier
 in the summer.
 		-- Brendan Behan
 %
@@ -23314,7 +23314,7 @@ the earth.
 		Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
 %
 I was at this restaurant.  The sign said "Breakfast Anytime."  So I
-ordered French Toast in the Rennaissance.
+ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 I was born in a barrel of butcher knives
@@ -23722,7 +23722,7 @@ I'd probably settle for a vampire if he were romantic enough.
 Couldn't be any worse than some of the relationships I've had.
 		-- Brenda Starr
 %
-I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heavan.
+I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heaven.
 %
 I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
 		-- Fred Allen
@@ -23832,7 +23832,7 @@ convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
 If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped.
 The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position
 in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop.  The law of
-gravity supercedes the law of golf.
+gravity supersedes the law of golf.
 		-- Donald A. Metz
 %
 If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce
@@ -23986,7 +23986,7 @@ If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
 If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
 		-- Leonard Levinson
 %
-If at first you fricasee, fry, fry again.
+If at first you fricassee, fry, fry again.
 %
 If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
 identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
@@ -24059,7 +24059,7 @@ If food be the music of love, eat up, eat up.
 %
 If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
 is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there is an
-exception" as a rule, then we must conced that there may not be an exception
+exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception
 after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
 can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
@@ -24247,7 +24247,7 @@ If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the
 shoulders of giants.
 		-- Isaac Newton
 
-In the sciences, we are now uniquely priviledged to sit side by side with
+In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with
 the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
 		-- Gerald Holton
 
@@ -24258,7 +24258,7 @@ my shoulders.
 Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
 		-- Gauss
 
-Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists
+Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists
 stand on each other's toes.
 		-- Richard Hamming
 
@@ -24356,7 +24356,7 @@ If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
 %
 If it wasn't so warm out today, it would be cooler.
 %
-If it were not for the presents, an elopment would be preferable.
+If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
 		-- George Ade, "Forty Modern Fables"
 %
 If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost,
@@ -24428,7 +24428,7 @@ If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
 		-- Mary Wilson Little
 %
 If mathematically you end up with the wrong
-answer, try multipying by the page number.
+answer, try multiplying by the page number.
 %
 If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would
 be fewer divorces -- and more bankruptcies.
@@ -24630,7 +24630,7 @@ put on a professor.
 %
 If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five
 steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same
-prinicples -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
+principles -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
 feature, that.
 		-- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.
 %
@@ -26031,14 +26031,14 @@ teacher should know.  "I would not leave the definition of math," Dr. Honig
 said, "up to the mathematicians."
 		-- The New York Times, October 22, 1985
 %
-In California they don't throw their garbadge away -- they make
+In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make
 it into television shows.
 		-- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"
 %
 In case of atomic attack, all work rules will be temporarily suspended.
 %
 In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling
-against prayer in schools will be temporarily cancelled.
+against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled.
 %
 In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"
 		-- The Kidner Report
@@ -26058,7 +26058,7 @@ be free of subjugation.
 %
 In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
 %
-In Cristianity, a man may have only one wife.
+In Christianity, a man may have only one wife.
 This is called Monotony.
 %
 In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.
@@ -26534,7 +26534,7 @@ Increased knowledge will help you now.
 Have mate's phone bugged.
 %
 INCUMBENT:
-	Person of livliest interest to the outcumbents.
+	Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
 %
 Indecision is the true basis for flexibility.
 %
@@ -26601,7 +26601,7 @@ Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations
 		It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
 		dressed as a man.
 
-	Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
+	Above the entrance to a Cairo bar:
 		Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
 		or similar.
 
@@ -27050,7 +27050,7 @@ three more than the schedule allowed.
 	The control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they
 could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
 it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.
-Futhermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
+Furthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
 their thumbs for ten months.
 	To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
 program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,
@@ -27414,7 +27414,7 @@ high as the eagle?
 It is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for.
 		-- Epitaph, Cheltenham Churchyard
 %
-It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the
+It is so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the
 devil when he is the only explanation of it.
 		-- Ronald Knox, "Let Dons Delight"
 %
@@ -27530,7 +27530,7 @@ It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
 %
 It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
 doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of
-a new system.  For the initiator has the emnity of all who would profit
+a new system.  For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit
 by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders
 in those who would gain by the new ones.
 		-- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513
@@ -27605,7 +27605,7 @@ may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada
 military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said
 the Army unit was in a house surrounded by Cuban forces.  One soldier found
 a telephone and, using his credit card, called Ft. Bragg, N.C., telling Army
-officiers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the
+officers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the
 Air Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.
 		-- Aviation Week and Space Technology
 %
@@ -27729,7 +27729,7 @@ and party!
 It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
 		-- Andrew Jackson
 %
-It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underware.
+It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
 		-- Cheers
 %
 It's a naive, domestic operating system without any
@@ -27737,7 +27737,7 @@ breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.
 %
 It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
 %
-It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression
+It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression
 when you lose yours.
 		-- Harry S. Truman
 %
@@ -27755,7 +27755,7 @@ never missed.  The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really...  We come
 out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb.
 What is the point of it all?  Who thought up this sickening circle of
 flesh and blood?  We come into the world bleeding and cut and our bones
-half-crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, multilation, and
+half-crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, mutilation, and
 then at the last lie down in some hole in the ground forever.  Who could
 have thought it up, I wonder?"
 		-- James Purdy
@@ -29155,7 +29155,7 @@ Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
 		-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
 %
 Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a
-number.  Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and
+number.  You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and
 another number.
 					-- James Estes
 %
@@ -29792,7 +29792,7 @@ Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
 		-- Lazarus Long
 %
 Little known fact about Middle Earth: The Hobbits had a very
-sophisticated computer network!  It was a Tolkein Ring...
+sophisticated computer network!  It was a Tolkien Ring...
 %
 Little Known Facts, #23:
 	Did you know... that if you dial 911 in Los Angeles you get
@@ -30221,7 +30221,7 @@ Nibble on they tiny feet!
 %
 Love, which is quickly kindled in a gentle heart,
 	seized this one for the fair form
-	that was taken from me-and the way of it afficts me still.
+	that was taken from me-and the way of it afflicts me still.
 Love, which absolves no loved one from loving,
 	seized me so strongly with delight in him,
 	that, as you see, it does not leave me even now.
@@ -30705,7 +30705,7 @@ Rose, thornless, any:	Early attachment
 Rose, white:		I am worthy of you
 Rose, yellow:		Decrease of love, rise of jealousy
 Rosebud, white:		Girlhood, and a heart ignorant of love
-Rosemary:		Rememberance
+Rosemary:		Remembrance
 Sunflower:		Haughtiness
 Tulip, red:		Declaration of love
 Tulip, yellow:		Hopeless love
@@ -30727,8 +30727,8 @@ Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery:
 %
 MARRIAGE:
 	An old, established institution, entered into by two people deeply
-	in love and desiring to make a committment to each other expressing
-	that love.  In short, committment to an institution.
+	in love and desiring to make a commitment to each other expressing
+	that love.  In short, commitment to an institution.
 %
 MARRIAGE:
 	Convertible bonds.
@@ -30954,7 +30954,7 @@ May you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.
 May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
 %
 May you have warm words on a cold evening,
-a full mooon on a dark night,
+a full moon on a dark night,
 and a smooth road all the way to your door.
 %
 May you live in uninteresting times.
@@ -30988,7 +30988,7 @@ Maybe you can't buy happiness, but
 these days you can certainly charge it.
 %
 May's Law:
-	The quality of correlation is inversly proportional to the density
+	The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density
 	of control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)
 %
 McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.
@@ -31065,7 +31065,7 @@ MEETINGS:
 %
 Meetings are an addictive, highly self indulgent activity that
 corporations and other large organizations habitually engage
-in only becuase they cannot actually masturbate.
+in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
 MEMO:
@@ -36420,7 +36420,7 @@ SAMPLE:  Proof of induction without proof of induction.
 for every natural number less than n.  N is arbitrary, so we can take n 
 as large as we want.  If n is sufficiently large, the case of n+1 is 
 trivially equivalent, so the only important n are n less than n.  We can
-take n = n (from above), so it's true for n+1 becuase it's just about n.
+take n = n (from above), so it's true for n+1 because it's just about n.
 	QED.	(QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")
 %
 Proper treatment will cure a cold in seven days,
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
index 028388f..17031af 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2-o
@@ -50,9 +50,9 @@ Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me.
 I'm not half the man I used to be.
 Oh, how did I get leprosy?
 
-Syphillis, it all started with a simple kiss.
+Syphilis, it all started with a simple kiss.
 Now it even hurts to take a piss.
-Oh why did I get syphillis?
+Oh why did I get syphilis?
 
 Why'd she have VD?  I don't know, she wouldn't say.
 I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday ....
@@ -657,7 +657,7 @@ all is not lost!  SofSqueeze can change your nickname to Electrolux in just
 sections) that plugs into the serial port of most home computers.  Through
 the magic of biofeedback, SofSqueeze teaches you control over your vaginal
 muscles.  With our exciting, easy-to-follow software you'll master the
-"Cincinnati Squeeze", the "Irresistable", the "California Crusher", and,
+"Cincinnati Squeeze", the "Irresistible", the "California Crusher", and,
 of course, the perennial favorite, "Milking Time Down on the Farm".  Or,
 using our exclusive Interactive Mode, invent your own!
 	SofSqueeze is made of sturdy ABS plastic, and is completely
@@ -894,7 +894,7 @@ you one wish.  Do you want a quick fuck or a little head?"
 %
 	Everyone in the smart nightclub was amazed by the old gentleman, 
 obviously pushing 70, tossing off manhattans and cavorting around the dance 
-floor like a 20-year old.  Finally curiousity got the best of the cigarette 
+floor like a 20-year old.  Finally curiosity got the best of the cigarette 
 girl.  "I beg your pardon, sir," she said, "but I'm amazed to see a gentleman
 of your age living it up like a youngster.  Tell me, are all of your faculties
 unimpaired?"
@@ -903,7 +903,7 @@ all, I'm afraid." he said.  "Just last evening I went nightclubbing with a
 girlfriend -- we drank and danced all night and finally rolled into her place 
 about two A.M.  We went to bed immediately, and I was asleep almost as soon
 as my head hit the pillow.  I woke around three-thirty and nudged my girl."
-	"Why, George," she said in suprise, "we did that fifteen minutes ago."
+	"Why, George," she said in surprise, "we did that fifteen minutes ago."
 	"So you see," the old boy said sadly, "my memory is beginning to 
 fail me."
 %
@@ -1055,7 +1055,7 @@ molested by a pervert, right here in my own home.  It was horrifying!"
 	"Just remain calm, sir, and tell me about it."
 	"Well, the man came in the window wearing a ski mask.  I was napping
 on the bed, in just my pajamas, and the TV set was on so I didn't hear anything.
-Suddenly he had his great big old callused hand over my mouth, holding me down.
+Suddenly he had his great big old calloused hand over my mouth, holding me down.
 I tried to scream... he was pulling my pants off.  I was so frightened!  He
 held a knife to my throat and undressed so quickly.  What could I do?  I
 couldn't stop him.  He was huge.  A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty 
@@ -1133,7 +1133,7 @@ young man to his father as he prepared to leave home.  "Don't try to stop me.
 I'm on my way."
 	"Who's trying to stop you?" shouted the father.  "Take me along!"
 %
-	In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
+	In the beginning, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
 mud."
 	And there was mud.
 	And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud
@@ -1240,7 +1240,7 @@ suicidal behavior is commonly called the Preying Mantis Syndrome -- and many
 life forms are periodically subject to its wrath.  How did the preying mantis
 become stuck in such a awful, vicious cycle?  This is probably what happened:
 	The male mantis arrives at the residence of the female mantis.  After
-some courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the diaphram) they mate.
+some courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the diaphragm) they mate.
 The female mantis, her lust for... lust being satisfied, relaxes while the
 male raids the refrigerator and returns home.  This behavior continues until
 the male and female (mantissas?) establish a permanent relationship.  Then the
@@ -1296,7 +1296,7 @@ audience, either."
 	Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
 you.  He doesn't know.  Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
 oncoming band of Hell's Angels for you.  She doesn't know.  Never ask how many
-cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal committment.
+cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal commitment.
 	Never ask to see pictures of your lover's former lovers -- especially
 the ones who dived in front of trains.  If you look like one of them, you are
 repeating history's mistakes.  If you don't, you'll wonder what he or she saw
@@ -1348,7 +1348,7 @@ multi-colored banners...  and the band played appropriate music.
 	After several more knights tried to prove their superiority...  the
 King finally spoke out. "I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped
 his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound,
-but a 40 pound weight, plus a coffe pot, to himself. The weapon doth rose.
+but a 40 pound weight, plus a coffee pot, to himself. The weapon doth rose.
 The crowds cheered...  the women swooned... the children waved multi-colored
 banners... and the band played "God Save the Queen."
 %
@@ -1364,7 +1364,7 @@ way it goes?  Try to help someone and you get fucked."
 seek out a cute little coil to let him discharge.  He picked up Milli-Amp
 and took her for a ride on his Megacycle.  They rode across the Wheatstone
 bridge, around the sine waves, and stopped in the magnetic field by the
-flowing current.  Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-Amp's charactaristic curves,
+flowing current.  Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-Amp's characteristic curves,
 soon had her fully charged and excited, her resistance to a minimum.  He laid
 her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, and lowered her reluctance.
 He pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it into her socket,
@@ -1382,7 +1382,7 @@ each others fuses.
 		-- Eddie Currents, "The Sex Life of an Electron"
 %
 	One of my favorite Zoo jokes has to do with a woman who, while
-visiting the zoo, desided to have a little fun with the Gorilla.  She walks
+visiting the zoo, decided to have a little fun with the Gorilla.  She walks
 up to his cage, reaches in, and begins to fondle the beast.  Needless to
 say, the animal becomes quite excited, and as he tries to reciprocate in
 kind, the woman steps back and gives him a raspberry...!
@@ -1396,7 +1396,7 @@ never writes..."
 %
 	One PAYDAY, MR. GOODBAR wanted a BIT O' HONEY.  So he took his Miss
 HERSHEY behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of 5th AVENUE and CLARK where he
-there began to feel her MOUNDS.  And that was an ALMOND JOY which definately
+there began to feel her MOUNDS.  And that was an ALMOND JOY which definitely
 made his TOOSIE ROLL.
 	He let out a SNICKER as he slipped his BUTTERFINGER up her KIT KAT
 which of course caused the MILKY WAY.  She screamed "OH, HENRY!" as she
@@ -1457,13 +1457,13 @@ motivated by Fear, Stupidity and Craziness.  But I have spent enough time in
 jackrabbit country to know that most of them lead pretty dull lives; they are
 bored with their daily routines:  eat, fuck, sleep, hop around a bush now and
 then... No wonder some of them drift over the line into cheap thrills once in
-a while; there has to be a powerful adrenalin rush in crouching by the side of
+a while; there has to be a powerful adrenaline rush in crouching by the side of
 a road, waiting for the next set of headlights to come along, then streaking
 out of the bushes with split-second timing and making it across to the other
 side just inches in front of the speeding front wheels.
-	Why not?  Anything that gets the adrenalin moving like a 440 volt
+	Why not?  Anything that gets the adrenaline moving like a 440 volt
 blast in a copper bathtub is good for the reflexes and keeps the veins free
-of cholesterol ...  but too many adrenalin rushes in any given time-span has
+of cholesterol ...  but too many adrenaline rushes in any given time-span has
 the same bad effect on the nervous system as too many electro-shock treatments
 are said to have on the brain:  after a while you start burning out the
 circuits.
@@ -2011,7 +2011,7 @@ screaming: "Holy Jesus!  What are these goddamn animals?"
 	Then it was quiet again.  My attorney had taken his shirt off and
 was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process.  "What the
 hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his
-eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sungalsses.  "Never mind,"
+eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses.  "Never mind,"
 I said.  "It's your turn to drive."  I hit the brakes and aimed the Great
 Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway.  No point in mentioning the
 bats, I thought.  The poor bastard will see them soon enough.
@@ -2095,7 +2095,7 @@ into months if the captain hadn't noticed the sailor carrying food below one
 evening and followed him.  After witnessing this unique bit of barter, he
 waited until the sailor had departed and then confronted the girl, demanding
 an explanation.  She told him the whole story.
-	"Hmmm," mused the captian.  "A clever arrangement, and I must say I
+	"Hmmm," mused the captain.  "A clever arrangement, and I must say I
 admire that young seaman's ingenuity.  However, miss, I feel it is only fair
 to tell you that this is the Staten Island Ferry."
 %
@@ -2147,7 +2147,7 @@ that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword.  My own belief in
 God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge.  My respect
 for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the most
 virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth.  But even well-educated Christians are
-frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus
+frustrated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus
 because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record.  Such ambiguity
 is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every recognized Bible scholar
 is perfectly aware of it.  Some Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to
@@ -2200,7 +2200,7 @@ And bring me back ma prick.		I canna wait for him to die
  4. You don't have to let a beer win.
  5. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to
 	sleep with it beer, too.
- 6. A beer helps with the houswork.
+ 6. A beer helps with the housework.
  7. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
  8. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
  9. A beer doesn't want you to raise its children.
@@ -2215,7 +2215,7 @@ And bring me back ma prick.		I canna wait for him to die
  4. You don't have to let a beer win.
  5. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to
 	sleep with it, too.
- 6. A beer helps with the houswork.
+ 6. A beer helps with the housework.
  7. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
  8. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
  9. A beer doesn't want you to raise its children.
@@ -2271,7 +2271,7 @@ And bring me back ma prick.		I canna wait for him to die
  3. A beer won't steal all the covers.
  4. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink all your beer.
  5. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
- 6. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".
+ 6. A beer doesn't buy everything labeled "turbo".
  7. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
  8. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.
  9. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.
@@ -2298,7 +2298,7 @@ And bring me back ma prick.		I canna wait for him to die
  7. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator.
  8. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
  9. A beer won't steal the covers.
-10. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".
+10. A beer doesn't buy everything labeled "turbo".
 11. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
 12. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.
 13. A beer tastes good.
@@ -2432,7 +2432,7 @@ I am not I, I'm a tree."
 And covered his pants leg with pee.
 %
 A beautiful belle of Del Norte
-Is reckoned disdainful and haughrty
+Is reckoned disdainful and haughty
 	Because during the day
 	She says: "Boys, keep away!"
 But she fucks in the gloaming like forty.
@@ -2446,7 +2446,7 @@ Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
 A beautiful man is paradise for the eyes, hell for the soul, and
 purgatory for the purse. 
 %
-A beautiful, voluptous woman goes to see a gynecologist.  The doctor takes
+A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist.  The doctor takes
 one look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past.  Right
 away he tells her to undress.  After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her
 thigh.  As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
@@ -2528,7 +2528,7 @@ Was heard to confess in her cups:
 	Was fucking a collie --
 But I got a nice price for the pups."
 %
-A burleyque dancer, a pip
+A burlesque dancer, a pip
 Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
 	But she read science fiction
 	And died of constriction
@@ -2999,7 +2999,7 @@ He couldn't get out with ESC.
 A hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk
 Made love to the drive of his disk.
 	The thing circumsized him,
-	Which rather suprised him.
+	Which rather surprised him.
 He wasn't aware of *that* risk.
 %
 A hand in a bird is worth two on 'er bush.
@@ -3435,7 +3435,7 @@ to his death.
 	"DUMB YANKEE."
 %
 A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered
-by the side of the street.  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned
+by the side of the street.  Curiosity got the better of him and he leaned
 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
 that a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused
 himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  "That's terrible," gasped
@@ -3621,8 +3621,8 @@ you must have told the bitch to go fuck herself!"
 %
 A Scotsman clad in a kilt walks up to the counter in an Apothecary.  From
 his pocket he takes a plaid condom that has been heavily used, torn, patched,
-sewn, and is currently split down one side.  He asks the proprieter, "How much
-to replace this, Ian?"  The proprieter says, "Why, Angus, that'l be four
+sewn, and is currently split down one side.  He asks the proprietor, "How much
+to replace this, Ian?"  The proprietor says, "Why, Angus, that'l be four
 pence."  Then the Scotsman asks, "How much to repair?"  The prop. looks the
 condom over carefully, and says "Three pence to repair."  The Scotsman ponders
 for a moment, then says, "I'll be back."
@@ -3717,7 +3717,7 @@ wanted to try out a pig himself.  He had watched several miners walk upstairs
 to the trysting rooms with squealing piglets under their arms.  Now, he was
 game to make his move.  He wandered out to the back of the saloon and chose
 a nice fat, pink sow.  As he walked to the stairs, the entire saloon went
-quiet.  In the embarassing hush, all eyes were upon him.
+quiet.  In the embarrassing hush, all eyes were upon him.
 	"What's the matter?  I thought all you fellows did this!"
 	"Yeah, but that's Black Bart's girl," replied the barkeep.
 %
@@ -3948,7 +3948,7 @@ Aboard the good ship Venus,		The cabin boy, the captain's joy,
 The mast it was a penis,		A cunning little nipper,
 	Her figurehead				They filled his ass,
 	A whore in bed,				With broken glass,
-Good grief you should have seen us!	And circumcized the skipper.
+Good grief you should have seen us!	And circumcised the skipper.
 
 The first mate's name was Higgins,	The captain's daughter Mabel,
 And Higgins was a biggins,		They screwed when they were able,
@@ -4019,7 +4019,7 @@ After I run your program, let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?
 %
 After Joan and Max had been married for 25 years, Max became disinterested
 in sex, and his libido began to wan dramatically.  In desperation, Joan
-hauled him to a marriage couselor, who listened patiently to Joan's complaints
+hauled him to a marriage counselor, who listened patiently to Joan's complaints
 and Max's protestations.  Max claimed that he was being nagged unmercifully
 to fulfill Joan's needs, and that after awhile every marriage tended to
 become less physical.  Joan said that that wasn't true and that she had
@@ -4373,12 +4373,12 @@ lewdly darted the tip of his tongue into each of my nostrils, one after the
 other, and with such cleverness he provoked two or three sneezes which
 redoubled the flow he desired and was consuming so hungrily.  But ask me for
 no details bearing upon this fellow, Messieurs, nothing appeared, and whether
-because he did nothing, or becaues he did it all in his drawers, there was
+because he did nothing, or because he did it all in his drawers, there was
 nothing to be seen, and amidst the multitude of his kisses and lecherous
 lickings there was nothing outstanding which might have denoted an ecstasy,
 and consequently it is my opinion that he did not discharge.  All my clothes
 were in place, even his hands stayed still, and I give you my word that this
-old libertine's fantasy might be performed upon the world's most repectable
+old libertine's fantasy might be performed upon the world's most respectable
 and least initiated girl without her being able to suppose there was anything
 lewd in it at all.
 		-- Marquis de Sade
@@ -4453,7 +4453,7 @@ there, but the third nun wouldn't touch it.
 %
 Another stupid gay joke!!!
 	You see, this gay man walks into a Texas bar and orders a strawberry
-daquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: "We don't 
+daiquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: "We don't 
 serve your kind, buddy, why don't you get out of here before the boys come
 in and kick your ass?"
 	The guy whimpers a little and lisps, "Pleasse misssture I am soooo
@@ -4559,7 +4559,7 @@ as soon as you notice any of the following symptoms:
 	-- An overwhelming sense of peace and happiness.
 	-- Visions of the faces of deceased family members.
 	-- A glorious figure in white, beckoning from the end of a tunnel of
-white mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintainance officers,
+white mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintenance officers,
 who wear dark blue and safety orange.)
 	Once the feeling has passed, inspect your surroundings.  If still in
 your car, you have probably suffered a stroke and should have someone drive
@@ -4670,7 +4670,7 @@ Balls Law:
 %
 BALTIMORE:
 	Where the women wear turtleneck
-	sweators to hide their flea collars.
+	sweaters to hide their flea collars.
 %
 Bankers do it with interest (penalty for early withdrawal).
 %
@@ -4761,7 +4761,7 @@ generally is a magnificent erotic instrument.  The famous gentleman in erotic
 prints who is keeping six women occupied is using tongue, penis, both hands,
 and both big toes.  Use the toe in mammary or armpit intercourse or any time
 you are astride her, or sit facing as she lies or sits.  Make sure the nail
-isn't sharp.  In a restuarant, in these days of tights one can surreptitiously
+isn't sharp.  In a restaurant, in these days of tights one can surreptitiously
 remove a shoe and sock, reach over, and keep her in almost continuous orgasm
 with all four hands fully in view on the table top and no sign of contact--
 A party trick which really rates as advanced sex.  She has less scope, but
@@ -4843,7 +4843,7 @@ students.  A three-foot bar of extruded aluminum was precisely machined,
 with a hole milled down the center of precisely the dimensions of one of
 the small Gideon bibles.  The end capped off, a CO2 canister was connected
 to provide up to 2,000 PSIG.  Prelimary estimates during field testing
-revealed a muzzle velocity of approximarly 120-150 MPH for bibles exiting
+revealed a muzzle velocity of approximately 120-150 MPH for bibles exiting
 the tube.  Sufficient ammunition was obtained during a previous visit to
 campus by another religious organization, and the system was first used on
 Brother Jim, who suffered a broken rib and numerous small bruises, in
@@ -5184,10 +5184,10 @@ Condoms are like listening to a symphony with cotton in your ears.
 
 	[Taking a shower in raincoat?  Ed.]
 %
-Condoms are the feminists' revenge on men for diaphrams.
+Condoms are the feminists' revenge on men for diaphragms.
 		-- Robin Williams
 %
-Confucious say:
+Confucius say:
 	man who lay girl on hill, not on level.
 	man who pull out too fast leave rubber.
 	man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
@@ -5202,7 +5202,7 @@ Confucious say:
 	a smart man knows on which side his broad is better.
 	man who arrives late to party will find himself beaten to the punch!
 %
-Confucious say:
+Confucius say:
 	man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
 	man who fishes in other man's well often catch crabs.
 	man and mouse the same, both end up in pussy.
@@ -5214,7 +5214,7 @@ Confucious say:
 	man who lie under car, get tired -- man who stand behind car,
 		get exhausted.
 %
-Confucious say:
+Confucius say:
 	woman who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
 	woman who spring on inner-spring this spring, have off-spring
 		next spring.
@@ -5223,13 +5223,13 @@ Confucious say:
 	man who kicked in testicles get left holding bag.
 	man who suck nipples make clean breast of things.
 	woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
-	woman's irginity like balloon, one prick and all gone.
+	woman's virginity like balloon, one prick and all gone.
 	Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best.
 	squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts.
-	eplileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.
+	epileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.
 	seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
 %
-Confucious say:
+Confucius say:
 	woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.
 	fool man climb tree to get cherries;  wise man spread limbs.
 	woman who fly upside down in airplane have big crack up.
@@ -5256,7 +5256,7 @@ confusion, n:
 	Father's Day in San Francisco.
 %
 CONSULTANT:
-	Someone who knowns 101 ways to make love, but can't get a date.
+	Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can't get a date.
 %
 continental breakfast, n:
 	A roll in bed with some honey.
@@ -5327,7 +5327,7 @@ as alcohol consumption increases and time, t, approaches last call.
 and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
 because good teachers understand exactly why it is false.  What could be
 more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
-entire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
+entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
 honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
 to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
 general understanding of science as an enterprise?
@@ -5354,7 +5354,7 @@ Sed virginem pine necebat.
 %
 Cunnilingus is next to cleanliness.
 %
-Curiousity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.
+Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.
 %
 Dad," the 13-year-old boy asked, looking up from his social-studies text,
 "what did you do during the sexual revolution?"
@@ -5409,7 +5409,7 @@ you can all go to hell, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you..."
 %
 Dance is the vertical expression of a horizontal intention.
 %
-Dave has an areoplane,
+Dave has an aeroplane,
 In which he likes to frisk.
 Oh what a foolish boy,
 His silly *.
@@ -5545,7 +5545,7 @@ He was blown down the street by a rocket.
 	Blew his balls up his ass,
 And his pecker was found in his pocket.
 %
-Did you hear they cancelled Easter this year?
+Did you hear they canceled Easter this year?
 Found the body.
 %
 Did you know that some people your age have sex
@@ -7137,7 +7137,7 @@ Hear about...
 	the sultan who had ten wives, nine of them had it soft.
 %
 Hear about...
-	the swinger who labelled his little black book "Future Shack"?
+	the swinger who labeled his little black book "Future Shack"?
 %
 Hear about...
 	the tight end who got two years for possession and came out a
@@ -7300,7 +7300,7 @@ Here's to the girl in all our hearts...
 In other words, guys, what do you say we all go downtown for
 the rest of the night?
 %
-Here's to the woman beautiful and devine
+Here's to the woman beautiful and divine
 she flowers every month bears fruit every nine
 she's the only creature 'tween heaven and hell
 can get the juice from a nut without cracking the shell.
@@ -8697,7 +8697,7 @@ And fuck some more!			I would dance and I'd be merry
 					If I only had a dong!
 		-- to "If I Only Had A Brain", The Wizard of Oz
 %
-I've been told that it's far more sensous to have a woman leave something
+I've been told that it's far more sensuous to have a woman leave something
 on rather than being totally nude.  Myself, I've always felt that the lights
 were more than enough.
 %
@@ -9666,7 +9666,7 @@ navel, n:
 Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
 Watch who you sleep with.
 %
-necrophelia, n:
+necrophilia, n:
 	Dead boring.
 
 incest, n:
@@ -9787,7 +9787,7 @@ have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence
 of God.  The argument follows:  "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God,
 "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."  "But," says Man,
 "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it?  It could not have evolved
-by chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguements,
+by chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguments,
 you don't.  QED."  "Oh, dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and
 promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
 		-- D. Adams
@@ -9799,7 +9799,7 @@ What would they do if I made no landfall?"
 		-- Jimmy Buffet, "Landfall"
 %
 Nurse Jones is a regular on the newsgroup [alt.sex.bondage], and
-occasionally has problems with folks harrassing her.  She came up
+occasionally has problems with folks harassing her.  She came up
 with this in response to one...
 
 	Fortunately, my ego isn't as fragile as that woodpecker's wing.
@@ -10036,7 +10036,7 @@ Was tattooed the price of her tail.
 Was the same information -- in Braille.
 %
 On the breasts of a harlot from Yale
-Was tatooed the price of her tail
+Was tattooed the price of her tail
 	And on her behind,
 	For the sake of the blind,
 Was the same information in Braille.
@@ -10699,7 +10699,7 @@ Though he shot at the target, he missed her.
 %
 Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
 %
-Prior to this year's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame cermony, [Cash] went to
+Prior to this year's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame ceremony, [Cash] went to
 the bathroom.  "I was standing at the urinal, and Keith Richards walked
 in...  He said, 'Look at this, I'm pissing with Johnny Cash. We need a
 picture of this.'  I said, 'No, Keith, we *don't* need a picture of this.'"
@@ -10737,7 +10737,7 @@ pubic hair, n:
 	Organic dental floss.
 %
 Puff the Jewish dragon lived in Palestine, 
-And frollicked in the Autumn mist,
+And frolicked in the Autumn mist,
 And drank Manishiewitz wine.
 Little Rabbi Jacob loved that rascal Puff,
 And brought him soup and Matzah balls,
@@ -10875,7 +10875,7 @@ A:	"I'm afraid we don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my
 	credit for answering this incredibly vital question."
 %
 Q:	How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light
-	bulb, in San Fransisco?
+	bulb, in San Francisco?
 A:	Both of them.
 %
 Q:	How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
@@ -10908,7 +10908,7 @@ A:	Sheep don't have strings.
 Q:	What do two WASPs say after making love?
 A:	Thank you very much.  It'll never happen again.
 %
-Q:	What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian?
+Q:	What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadriplegic Virginian?
 A:	Trustworthy.
 %
 Q:	What do you call a nun who has had a sex change operation?
@@ -10960,7 +10960,7 @@ A:	Will the defendant please rise?
 %
 Q:	What does friendship among Soviet nationalities mean?
 A:	It means that the Armenians take the Russians by the hand; the
-	Russians take the Ukrainians by the hand; the Ukranians take
+	Russians take the Ukrainians by the hand; the Ukrainians take
 	the Uzbeks by the hand; and they all go and beat up the Jews.
 %
 Q:	What goes
@@ -11408,7 +11408,7 @@ Readers Ask:
 
 Vampires are a source of great irritation to the average homeowner and it is
 usually to one's advantage to remove these pests as rapidly as possible.  If
-a professional exterminater specializing in the undead is unavailable, it is
+a professional exterminator specializing in the undead is unavailable, it is
 possible to handle the situation with common household items.  However, much
 of the common folklore of vanquishing the undead needs clarifying.  First,
 driving a sharpened Louisville Slugger through a vampire's heart will NOT kill
@@ -11756,7 +11756,7 @@ but I was feeling so rotten that I bit his hand."
 	"Yeah, I now what you mean.  So, what are you here for?"
 	"Erm ... well ... Master reckons that I'm too vicious, so I'm going
 to be ... you know ... I'm going to have the *operation*."
-	"Oh.  Well, I'm sorry," sympathised the first dog.
+	"Oh.  Well, I'm sorry," sympathized the first dog.
 	Time passed. The about-to-be-neutered dog coughed politely.
 	"So," he asked, "What are you in here for?"
 	"Oh, nothing really," the other replied, embarrassed.
@@ -11842,7 +11842,7 @@ SEMINARS:
 	From 'semi' and 'arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.
 %
 Sen. Danforth:  "There is nothing on the face of the album which would
-		notify you if the record has pornographics material or
+		notify you if the record has pornographic material or
 		material glorifying violence?"
 Tipper Gore:    "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me."
 Frank Zappa:    "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on
@@ -11872,7 +11872,7 @@ You can do each while thinking about the other.
 Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
 		-- Sophia Loren
 %
-Sex is a biological function; kissing is a committment.
+Sex is a biological function; kissing is a commitment.
 %
 Sex is better than grass, if you have the right pusher.
 %
@@ -12237,7 +12237,7 @@ Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.
 Something better...
 
 13 (sympathetic): Oh, What happened?  Did your parents lose a bet with God?
-14 (complememtary): You must love the little birdies to give them this to
+14 (complementary): You must love the little birdies to give them this to
 	perch on.
 15 (scientific): Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
 16 (obscure): Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
@@ -12349,7 +12349,7 @@ And sure enough she'll take you home and make you wanna die.
 		-- Crosby, Stills, Nash, "Fair Game"
 %
 Taoism: Shit Happens.
-Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit Happens".
+Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit Happens".
 Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
 Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
 Protestantism: Shit happens, but it happens to someone else.
@@ -12984,7 +12984,7 @@ from Ferguson.  Four of 'em this month, and every one's been queer."
 %
 The nipples of Sarah Sarong
 When excited are twelve inches long
-	This embarassed her lover 
+	This embarrassed her lover 
 	Who was pained to discover
 She expected no less of his dong
 %
@@ -13129,7 +13129,7 @@ as Michael came out, he accosted his and said,
 singles two weeks in a row, instead of putting money into the collection?"
 	Michael replied, "Father, I'm embarrassed, but I did it because I
 wanted to go downtown for a blow job."
-	The priest looked suprised but said to Michael, "Listen, don't do
+	The priest looked surprised but said to Michael, "Listen, don't do
 that anymore.  I'll be watching you from now on."
 	When he got back to the rectory, the priest was still perplexed.
 Finally he decided to call Mother Agatha at the convent.  He said, "Mother,
@@ -13257,7 +13257,7 @@ The spouse of a pretty young thing
 Came home from the wars in the spring.
 	He was lame but he came
 	With his dame like a flame --
-A discharge is a wondeful thing.
+A discharge is a wonderful thing.
 %
 The star of that X-rated hit
 Plays a nurse with a throat full of clit.
@@ -13304,7 +13304,7 @@ The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.
 %
 The three most important parts of a stove: lifter, leg, and poker.
 %
-The three sexual positions during preganancy.
+The three sexual positions during pregnancy.
 
 During the first four months:	Missionary style
 During the second four months:	Doggie style
@@ -13350,7 +13350,7 @@ The other ran his own hand over his head and nonchalantly retorted,
 The two things that you should never lend out are your car
 or your woman.  Someone's bound to throw a rod in either one.
 %
-The Unitarians are really just a bunch of athiests who really
+The Unitarians are really just a bunch of atheists who really
 like going to church.
 %
 The Utah version of this joke goes:
@@ -13360,7 +13360,7 @@ that you ran all the way here, losing your breath?"
 	The Council member finally regains his breath, and says "The Savior is
 in the lobby!!"
 	The President immediate starts for the door, crying "It has come!  The
-prophecies are fullfilled!  We are all about to be uplifted!"
+prophecies are fulfilled!  We are all about to be uplifted!"
 	The Council member says "Wait!  You didn't let me finish!  She's...
 black, and SHE IS PISSED!"
 %
@@ -13443,17 +13443,17 @@ She was ugly and gaunt, with a horrible smell.
 	It stank like a beast,
 And the odor killed flies as they gathered to feast.
 
-What a wonderful family!  What marvellous style!
+What a wonderful family!  What marvelous style!
 I'll bet you and I aren't close by a mile.
 	Their odor and diet
-	Won't soon be forgotton,
+	Won't soon be forgotten,
 And one day you and I may be equally rotten.
 %
 The young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on her
 first visit home since starting college.
 	"Mom, I have to tell you," the girl confessed.  "I lost my virginity
 last weekend."
-	"I'm not suprised," said her mother.  "It was bound to happen sooner
+	"I'm not surprised," said her mother.  "It was bound to happen sooner
 or later.  I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience."
 	"Well, yes and no," the pretty student remarked.  "The first eight
 guys felt great, but after them my pussy got real sore."
@@ -13612,7 +13612,7 @@ front page before discarding it?"
 be on the front page."
 		-- Attributed to FDR.
 %
-There was a young man hitchiking along a road one day.  A car stopped and the
+There was a young man hitchhiking along a road one day.  A car stopped and the
 driver opened the door and asked, "What political party are you with?"
 	He replied, "Why, I'm a Democrat."
 	And the driver slammed the door and rode off.  The guy was pretty
@@ -13739,7 +13739,7 @@ barn.  Alone!  At last.  His hands roamed about her soft back, around to her
 thighs, and finally caressed her budding nipples.  Oh, how smooth and succulent
 she was!  "Was it so wrong?", he asked himself.  No, he thought, for his
 father had done it, as did his own father, ad infinitum.  The boiling,
-uncontrollable rage within him became unbearable.  She signalled her eagerness,
+uncontrollable rage within him became unbearable.  She signaled her eagerness,
 spreading her legs, as he grasped her nipples again.  Stroking, again and
 again, longer each time.  It began coming; again, again, again, again.  His
 mind raced with fear "Will it stop?".  Exhausted, he lay down beside her.
@@ -13766,7 +13766,7 @@ desperate search.  Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a
 one-foot by one-foot hole in the floor.  Now, at the end of his control, he 
 decided to take advantage of the hole.  He dropped his pants, hunched over it, 
 and did his thing.  Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the 
-steps to find, to his suprise, that the crowded bar was now empty.
+steps to find, to his surprise, that the crowded bar was now empty.
 	"Hey!" he yelled to the seemingly empty room, "Where is everyone?"
 	From behind the bar a voice responded, "Hey!  Where were you when
 the shit hit the fan?"
@@ -13867,7 +13867,7 @@ During the next few weeks, he listened particularly closely to his son's
 prayers, but noticed nothing unusual.  Then, one night, the boy ended his
 prayers with, "God specially bless Grandmom, who won't be with us much longer."
 Although the shock of the original incident had worn off during the intervening
-weeks, he nontheless phoned his mother to inquire as to her health.  He went to
+weeks, he nonetheless phoned his mother to inquire as to her health.  He went to
 bed reassured, only to be awakened in the night by his sister calling with the
 news that their mother had died suddenly in the night.  The father had a series
 of psychological tests done; nothing unusual was uncovered.  About a month 
@@ -13989,7 +13989,7 @@ Today is gonna be one helluva week!
 Todays title:
 	Creative Violence in Sexual Relationships
 %
-Tonight's piss is tommorrow's Tang.
+Tonight's piss is tomorrow's Tang.
 		-- An American astronaut
 %
 tourist, n:
@@ -14328,7 +14328,7 @@ expect it.
 User friendly software searching for friendly Hardware to interface with.
 Hardware may present itself in floppy format as software has capability to
 upgrading same to full size firm.  Size is not all that important; but byte
-sized bandwith required -- header width is of more concern.  Joystick should
+sized bandwidth required -- header width is of more concern.  Joystick should
 be able to toggle in different speeds and for some duration.  Software is
 looking for system willing to perform intensive manipulation of keyboard as
 well as preparing the mainframe and disk drives.  Fingering of all files
@@ -14784,7 +14784,7 @@ poor man was in the bathroom all night, masturbating furiously, muttering
 "We've got things well in hand."
 		-- Master Byte Software, Los Gatos California.
 %
-We've just recieved the results of a survey conducted to ascertain the
+We've just received the results of a survey conducted to ascertain the
 various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night.  According
 to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom, and
 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator.  The other 95% get up to go home.
@@ -14817,7 +14817,7 @@ What the fuck, over?
 %
 What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
 %
-What this department needs is a really good inflatible doll.
+What this department needs is a really good inflatable doll.
 %
 What with chromodynamics and electroweak too
 Our Standardized Model should please even you,
@@ -14943,7 +14943,7 @@ Then they're out in the hall	The harder they'll work
 		-- Julie Brown, "I Like 'Em Big and Stupid"
 %
 When I was eight years old I came home with tears in my eyes because some
-kids had stolen my samwich.  My father handed me an ice pick, and said,
+kids had stolen my sandwich.  My father handed me an ice pick, and said,
 "Next time, hit 'em first and hit 'em hard."
 		-- Jake LaMotta
 
@@ -15207,7 +15207,7 @@ Would you rather have a 5-inch hard or an 8-inch floppy?
 %
 Writers do it between periods.
 %
-"Yeah, I used to be into necrophelia, bestiality and sadism, but then I
+"Yeah, I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality and sadism, but then I
 realized I was just flogging a dead horse."
 %
 Yesterday is a memory,
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index ee807bb..bf7b6e2 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ I am not I, I'm a tree."
 And covered his pants leg with pee.
 %
 A beautiful belle of Del Norte
-Is reckoned disdainful and haughrty
+Is reckoned disdainful and haughty
 	Because during the day
 	She says: "Boys, keep away!"
 But she fucks in the gloaming like forty.
@@ -65,7 +65,7 @@ Was heard to confess in her cups:
 	Was fucking a collie --
 But I got a nice price for the pups."
 %
-A burleyque dancer, a pip
+A burlesque dancer, a pip
 Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
 	But she read science fiction
 	And died of constriction
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy b/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
index c9ed106..3be3fc1 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
@@ -288,7 +288,7 @@ MOUSTACHE ...  Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY,
 HONESTY & WARMTH?  It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce
 to NANCY SINATRA!
 %
-How many retured bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL
+How many returned bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL
 SHARPENERS right NOW??
 %
 How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??
@@ -351,7 +351,7 @@ I feel better about world problems now!
 %
 I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon!
 %
-I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV ...
+I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV ...
 %
 I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!
 %
@@ -488,7 +488,7 @@ I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go ... with EXTRA MSG!!
 %
 I want a WESSON OIL lease!!
 %
-I want another RE-WRITE on my CEASAR SALAD!!
+I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!
 %
 I want EARS!  I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n
 secure!!
@@ -884,7 +884,7 @@ BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!
 Now I'm concentrating on a specific tank battle toward the end of World
 War II!
 %
-Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beatiful, round wives of
+Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round wives of
 HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS and being approached
 by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT ...
 %