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authorhoek <hoek@FreeBSD.org>2000-05-28 05:06:38 +0000
committerhoek <hoek@FreeBSD.org>2000-05-28 05:06:38 +0000
commitffd17067a99c85b179b310c614e8c289077bbd31 (patch)
tree33fde132bd96170c03c353846e5f4937b91d00f9 /games
parent31a084a0cda28cf680e3c8ad5551bb65391f3a4d (diff)
downloadFreeBSD-src-ffd17067a99c85b179b310c614e8c289077bbd31.zip
FreeBSD-src-ffd17067a99c85b179b310c614e8c289077bbd31.tar.gz
A set of diffs to bring the new murphy into line with the
fortune/Notes fortmatting instructions. Also fix a couple typos. I did a bit of this, by Cy Schubert did most of it. Thanks Cy!
Diffstat (limited to 'games')
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/murphy318
1 files changed, 146 insertions, 172 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/murphy b/games/fortune/datfiles/murphy
index c9e11b8..721df29 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/murphy
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/murphy
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ man until he submerges.
The deficiency will never show itself during the test runs.
%
The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found
-in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting
+in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.
%
It is impossible to build a fool proof system;
because fools are so ingenious.
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ multiple interpretations.
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by
the paper clip of the overlying memo and go to file.
%
-On successive charts of the same organization the number of
+On successive charts of the same organization, the number of
boxes will never decrease.
%
It is ok to be ignorant in some areas,
@@ -58,8 +58,8 @@ Leakproof seals --- will.
Never offend people with style
when you can offend them with substance.
%
-Our customers paperwork is profit
-our own paperwork is loss.
+Our customers' paperwork is profit.
+Our own paperwork is loss.
%
At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.
%
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ Interchangeable parts --- won't.
Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of
faults is proportional to the number of viewers.
%
-All american cars are basically chevrolets.
+All American cars are basically Chevrolets.
%
A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not
take place.
@@ -187,18 +187,18 @@ Make it possible for programmers to write programs
in english and you will find that programmers cannot
write in english.
%
-When more and more people are thrown out of work
+When more and more people are thrown out of work,
unemployment results.
%
-If you can't measure it, i'm not interested.
+If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
%
The best way to lie is to tell the truth.....
carefully edited truth.
%
There are three ways to get things done:
-Do it yourself,
-Hire someone to do it, or
-Forbid your kids to do it.
+ (1) Do it yourself,
+ (2) Hire someone to do it, or
+ (3) Forbid your kids to do it.
%
I think ... therefore I am confused.
%
@@ -229,7 +229,7 @@ Flynn is dead
Tron is dead
long live the MCP.
%
-Why worry about tomorrow? we may not make it through today!
+Why worry about tomorrow? We may not make it through today!
%
Real programmers don't number paragraph names
consecutively.
@@ -266,8 +266,8 @@ Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
%
Real programmers understand Pascal.
%
-Real programmers know it's not operations
-fault if their jobs go into "hogs."
+Real programmers know it's not operations'
+fault if their jobs go into "hogs".
%
Real programmers do not eat breakfast from the
vending machines.
@@ -363,8 +363,10 @@ Hard enough to make water run uphill.
Avoid reality at all costs.
%
Program design philosophy:
-Start at the beginning and continue until the end,
-then stop. (Lewis Carroll)
+
+ Start at the beginning and continue until the end,
+ then stop.
+ -- Lewis Carroll
%
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
%
@@ -375,8 +377,8 @@ Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level,
the greater the confusion.
%
-The first time is for love
-the next time is $200.
+The first time is for love.
+The next time is $200.
%
Of two possible events,
only the undesired one will occur.
@@ -566,7 +568,7 @@ When all else fails, read the instructions.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than
you thought.
%
-Close counts in horseshoes, handgrenades and
+"Close" only counts in horseshoes, handgrenades and
thermonuclear devices.
%
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
@@ -589,7 +591,8 @@ it needed replacing anyway.
%
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which,
when you looked at it in the right way, did not become
-still more complicated. Poul Anderson
+still more complicated.
+ -- Poul Anderson
%
Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath
to the exact center.
@@ -639,15 +642,13 @@ Everything is revealed to he who turns over enough stones.
(Including the snakes that he did not want to find.)
%
Everybody should believe in something;
-I believe i'll have another drink.
+I believe I'll have another drink.
%
Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
%
Build a system that even a fool can use,
and only a fool will use it.
%
-You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
-%
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
%
It's always the wrong time of the month.
@@ -664,7 +665,7 @@ when the garbage truck is two doors away.
Misery no longer loves company
nowdays it insists on it.
%
-the race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the
+The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the
strong, but that's the way to bet.
%
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.
@@ -687,12 +688,6 @@ Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
%
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
%
-When you're up to your nose .......,
-be sure to keep your mouth shut.
-%
-One's life tends to be like a beaver's,
-one dam thing after another.
-%
A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
%
The ratio of time involved in work to time available for
@@ -707,7 +702,7 @@ knows it for he shall enjoy living.
Everything east of the San Andreas fault will evenutally
plunge into the Atlantic ocean.
%
-I finally got it all together.....
+I finally got it all together ...
but I forgot where I put it.
%
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
@@ -726,8 +721,6 @@ If it can be borrowed and it can be broken,
you will borrow it and
you will break it.
%
-Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
-%
Live within your income,
even if you have to borrow to do so.
%
@@ -743,7 +736,7 @@ Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
%
A bird in the hand is dead.
%
-A smith and wesson beats four aces.
+A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
%
Never put all your eggs in your pocket.
%
@@ -796,7 +789,7 @@ Any improbable event which would create maximum confusion
if it did occur, will occur.
%
When you are right be logical,
-When you are wrong be-fuddle.
+when you are wrong be-fuddle.
%
For every human problem, there is a neat, plain solution --
and it is always wrong.
@@ -828,7 +821,7 @@ Left to themselves, all things go from bad to worse.
%
If you see that there are four possible ways in which a
procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a
-fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develope.
+fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
%
Things get worse under pressure.
%
@@ -902,9 +895,6 @@ If you can't measure output then you measure input.
Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of
approximate, additional assumptions.
%
-Old scottish prayer: O Lord, grant that we may always be
-right, for thou knowest we will never change our minds.
-%
Never be first to do anything.
%
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
@@ -948,7 +938,7 @@ If you can't convince them, confuse them.
%
Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.
%
-All general statements are false. (think about it)
+All general statements are false. (Think about it.)
%
If it happens, it must be possible.
%
@@ -1005,12 +995,12 @@ Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
%
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
%
-1. Everything depends.
-2. Nothing is always.
-3. Everything is sometimes.
+(1) Everything depends.
+(2) Nothing is always.
+(3) Everything is sometimes.
%
If you wait, it will go away
-....having done it's damage.
+... having done it's damage.
If it was bad, it'll be back.
%
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand
@@ -1024,7 +1014,7 @@ world's composed of aluminum and vinyl.
%
In order for something to become clean, something
else must become dirty.
-...but you can get everything dirty without getting
+... but you can get everything dirty without getting
anything clean.
%
Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
@@ -1080,12 +1070,12 @@ lane.
Whenever you cut your fingernails you will find a
need for them an hour later.
%
-1. If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance
- will be down.
-2. If the weather is extremely good, church attendance
- will be down.
-3. If the bulletin covers are in short supply church
- attendance will exceed all expectations.
+(1) If the weather is extremely bad, church
+ attendance will be down.
+(2) If the weather is extremely good, church
+ attendance will be down.
+(3) If the bulletin covers are in short supply
+ church attendance will exceed all expectations.
%
If a situation requires undivided attention, it will
occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.
@@ -1114,9 +1104,9 @@ The first page the author turns to upon receiving an
advance copy will be the page containing the worst
error.
%
-1. Never draw what you can copy.
-2. Never copy what you can trace.
-3. Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
+(1) Never draw what you can copy.
+(2) Never copy what you can trace.
+(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
%
The best shots happen immediately after the last
frame is exposed.
@@ -1139,7 +1129,7 @@ directly with that person's sensitivity to smoke.
The distance to the gate is inversely proportional
to the time available to catch you flight.
%
-As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the
+As soon as the flight attendant serves the coffee, the
airliner encounters turbulence.
%
Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
@@ -1169,7 +1159,7 @@ implemented, it wasn't worth doing.
%
The greater the cost of putting a plan into operation,
the less chance there is of abandoning the plan - even
-if it subsequently becomes irreveland.
+if it subsequently becomes irrevelant.
%
The higher the level of prestige accorded the people
behind the plan, the least less chance there is of
@@ -1196,10 +1186,10 @@ they are.
You never know who's right, but you always know
who's in charge.
%
-1. Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
-2. A good manager can make a decision without enough
- facts.
-3. A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
+(1) Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
+(2) A good manager can make a decision without enough
+ facts.
+(3) A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
%
The boss who attempts to impress employees with his
knowledge of intricate details has lost sight of his
@@ -1256,7 +1246,7 @@ who's redundant.
%
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
%
-If you're early, it'be cancelled.
+If you're early, it'll be cancelled.
If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will
have to wait.
If you're late, you will be too late.
@@ -1277,7 +1267,7 @@ what you don't want to do.
Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.
%
The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the
-greater the chance of ailure.
+greater the chance of failure.
%
Simple jobs always get put off because there will be
time to do them later.
@@ -1301,14 +1291,14 @@ The more carefully you plan a project, the more
confusion there is when something goes wrong.
%
Murphy's rule for precision:
- Measure with a micrometer
- Mark with chalk
- Cut with an axe
+ Measure with a micrometer
+ Mark with chalk
+ Cut with an axe
%
You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
%
First rule of intelligent tinkering:
- Save all the parts
+ Save all the parts
%
Access holes will be 1/2" too small.
Holes that are the right size will be in the wrong place.
@@ -1367,9 +1357,9 @@ Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
%
Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
%
-1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
-2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
-3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
+(1) If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
+(2) If it stinks, it's chemistry.
+(3) If it doesn't work, it's physics.
%
Nothing improves an innovation like lack of controls.
%
@@ -1379,7 +1369,7 @@ to the density of control.
If reproducibility may be a problem conduct the
test only once.
%
-if a straight line fit is required, obtain only two
+If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two
data points.
%
Any technical problem can be overcome given enough
@@ -1395,18 +1385,18 @@ approximation and know the truth, than to demand an
exact solution and not know the truth at all.
%
An easily-understood, workable falsehood is more useful
-than a comples, incompreshensible truth.
+than a complex, incompreshensible truth.
%
Anyone who make a significant contribution to any field
-of endeavor, and stays in that field long enough,
-becomes an obstruction ot its progress -- in direct
+of endeavor and stays in that field long enough,
+becomes an obstruction to its progress -- in direct
proportion to the importance of his original contribution.
%
-If a scientist encovers a publishable fact, it will
+If a scientist uncovers a publishable fact, it will
become central to his theory.
His theory, in turn, will become central to all
-scientific though.
+scientific truth.
%
There is no such thing as a straight line.
%
@@ -1442,7 +1432,7 @@ In any dealings with a collective body of people, the
people will always be more tacky than originally expected.
%
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing
-theirs, then you just don't understand the problemr.
+theirs, then you just don't understand the problem.
%
Information deteriorates upward through the bureaucracies.
%
@@ -1473,13 +1463,13 @@ Return on investments won't.
%
If everybody doesn't want it, nobody gets it.
%
-Mass man must be servied by mass means.
+Mass man must be serviced by mass means.
%
Everything is contagious.
%
Nothing is ever done for the right reasons.
%
-The secret of success is sincerity. once you can fake
+The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake
that you've got it made.
%
An expert is anyone from out of town.
@@ -1489,7 +1479,7 @@ and less until he knows absolutely everything
about nothing.
%
To spot the expert, pick the one who perdicts the job
-wil take the longest and cost the most.
+will take the longest and cost the most.
%
If it sits on your desk for 15 minutes, you've just
become the expert.
@@ -1531,7 +1521,7 @@ task to make them simple.
If you have a difficult task give it to a lazy man, he
will find an easier way to do it.
%
-Every great idean has a disadvantage equal to or
+Every great idea has a disadvantage equal to or
exceeding the greatness of the idea.
%
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately
@@ -1541,7 +1531,7 @@ New systems generate new problems.
%
Systems should not be unnecessarily multiplied.
%
-Systems tend to grow, and as they grow they encroach.
+Systems tend to grow and as they grow they encroach.
%
Complicated systems produce unexpected outcomes.
%
@@ -1562,13 +1552,13 @@ A complex system designed from scratch never works and
cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start
over, beginning with a working simple system.
%
-1. Everything is a system.
-2. Everything is part of a larger system.
-3. The universe is infinitely systematized both upward
- (larger systems) and downward (smaller systems).
-4. All systems are infinitely complex. (the illuison
- of simplicity comes from focussing attention on
- one or a few variables).
+(1) Everything is a system.
+(2) Everything is part of a larger system.
+(3) The universe is infinitely systematized both upward
+ (larger systems) and downward (smaller systems).
+(4) All systems are infinitely complex. (The illuison
+ of simplicity comes from focussing attention on
+ one or a few variables).
%
Complex systems tend to oppose their own proper function.
%
@@ -1578,7 +1568,7 @@ you will be the 'n + 1' to apply.
Class schedules are designed so that every student will
waste the maximum time between classes.
%
-Show me a person who's never made a mistake and i'll
+Show me a person who's never made a mistake and I'll
show you somebdoy who's never achieved much.
%
When you consider there are 24 hours in a day, it's
@@ -1672,9 +1662,10 @@ out of trouble.
A drug is that substance which, when injected into a
rat, will produce a scientific report.
%
-Before ordering a test decide what you will do if it
-is 1) positive, or 2) negative. If both answers are the
-same, don't do the test.
+Before ordering a test decide what you will do if it is,
+(1) positive, or
+(2) negative.
+If both answers are the same, don't do the test.
%
The radiologists' national flower is the hedge.
%
@@ -1684,7 +1675,7 @@ indiciation for its performance.
A physician's ability is inversely proportional
to his availability.
%
-There are two kinds of adhesive tape: that which won't
+There are two kinds of adhesive tape: That which won't
stay on and that which won't come off.
%
Everbody wants a pain shot at the same time.
@@ -1693,7 +1684,7 @@ Everybody who didn't want a pain shot when you were
passing out pain shots wants one when you are passing
out sleeping pills.
%
-An alcoholic is a person who drinks more that his
+An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his
own physician.
%
Fools rush in -- and get the best seats.
@@ -1701,7 +1692,7 @@ Fools rush in -- and get the best seats.
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle arrive last.
%
-Exciting plays occur only whil you are watching the
+Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the
scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.
%
Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by
@@ -1751,12 +1742,12 @@ fishing around you.
%
The mountain gets steeper as you get closer.
%
-The mountain looks closer that it is.
+The mountain looks closer than it is.
%
All trails have more uphill sections that they have
level or downhill sections.
%
-The one who leasts wants to play is the one who will win.
+The one who least wants to play is the one who will win.
%
All things being equal, you lose.
@@ -1772,11 +1763,11 @@ If everything is coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
%
If you allow someone to get in front of you either:
-a. the car in front will be the last one over a
- railroad crossing, and you will be stuck waiting
- for a long, slow-moving train; or
-b. you both will have the same destination and the
- other car will get the last parking space.
+(1) The car in front will be the last one over a
+ railroad crossing, and you will be stuck waiting
+ for a long, slow-moving train; or
+(2) you both will have the same destination and the
+ other car will get the last parking space.
%
If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two
new parking spaces right in front of the building
@@ -1821,12 +1812,12 @@ If it's good, they discontinue it.
%
It the shoe fits, it's ugly.
%
-1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size.
-2. If you like it and it's in your size, it doesn't
- fit anyway.
-3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it.
-4. If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it
- falls apart the first time you wear it.
+(1) If you like it, they don't have it in your size.
+(2) If you like it and it's in your size, it doesn't
+ fit anyway.
+(4) If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it.
+(5) If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it
+ falls apart the first time you wear it.
%
The one you want is never the one on sale.
%
@@ -1851,8 +1842,8 @@ self-destruct on the 61st day.
The "consumer report" on the item will come out a week
after you've made your purchase:
- 1. The one you bought will be rated "unacceptable".
- 2. The one you almost bought will be rated "best buy".
+(1) The one you bought will be rated "unacceptable".
+(2) The one you almost bought will be rated "best buy".
%
If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive
your order.
@@ -1885,22 +1876,21 @@ function adequately.
The more expensive the gadget, the less often you
will use it.
%
-The simpler the instruction (e.g. "press here"), the
+The simpler the instruction, e.g. "press here", the
more difficult it will be to open the package.
%
In a family recipe you just discovered in an old book,
the most vital measurement will be illegible.
%
-Once a dish is fouled up. anything added to save it
+Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it
only makes it worse.
%
You are always complimented on the item which took the
least effort to prepare.
-example:
-
- If you make "duck a l'orange" you will be
- complimented on the baked potato.
+Example:
+ If you make "duck a l'orange" you will be
+ complimented on the baked potato.
%
The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store
to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.
@@ -1985,15 +1975,15 @@ bathroom door you're on.
The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely
with its price and directly with its ugliness.
%
-If you have watched a tv series only once, and you watch
+If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch
it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.
%
-If there are only 2 shows worth watching, they will be
-on together.
+If there are only two shows worth watching, they will
+be on together.
%
-The only new tv show worth watching will be cancelled.
+The only new TV show worth watching will be cancelled.
%
-The tv show you've been looking forward to all week
+The TV show you've been looking forward to all week
will be preempted.
%
Most people deserve each other.
@@ -2003,11 +1993,11 @@ their storage.
%
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
%
-1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the
- door, fumbling for your keys.
+(1) The telephone will ring when you are outside the
+ door, fumbling for your keys.
-2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click
- of the caller hanging up.
+(2) You will reach it just in time to hear the click
+ of the caller hanging up.
%
People to whom you are attracted invariably thing you
remind them of someone else.
@@ -2028,16 +2018,6 @@ Your own romantic gestures seem fooolish and clumsy.
The length of a marriage is inversely proportional
to the amount spent on the wedding.
%
- All probabilities are 50%. either a thing will
- happen or it won't.
-
- This is especially true when dealing with women.
-
- Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
-%
-Sow your wild oats on saturday night - then on
-sunday pray for crop failure.
-%
The probablility of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
%
@@ -2074,12 +2054,12 @@ happened to everyone you know only more so.
He who laughs last -- probably didn't get the joke.
%
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about
-you. they're too busy worrying over what you are
+you. They're too busy worrying over what you are
thinking about them.
%
In a bureaucratic hierarchy, the higher up the
-organization the less people appreciate murphy's law,
-the peter principle, etc.
+organization the less people appreciate Murphy's law,
+the Peter Principle, etc.
%
Law expands in proportion to the resources available
for its enforcement.
@@ -2119,10 +2099,10 @@ The only game that can't be fixed is peek-a-boo.
%
Ignorance should be painful.
%
-The first insurance agent was david -
-he gave goliath a piece of the rock.
+The first insurance agent was David -
+he gave Goliath a piece of the rock.
%
-King arthur ran the first knight club.
+King Arthur ran the first knight club.
%
Magellan was the first strait man.
%
@@ -2132,18 +2112,18 @@ either a nitwit or a repariman.
If it weren't for the opinion polls we'd never know
what people are undecided about.
%
-No news is... impossible.
+No news is ... impossible.
%
Laugh and the world laughs with you. cry and ...
you have to blow your nose.
%
-A penny saved is ...not much.
+A penny saved is ... not much.
%
-He who marries for money...better be nice to his wife.
+He who marries for money ... better be nice to his wife.
%
-It's always darkest before ...daylight saving time.
+It's always darkest before ... daylight saving time.
%
-If at first you don't succeed...get new batteries.
+If at first you don't succeed ... get new batteries.
%
There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
%
@@ -2174,12 +2154,12 @@ Never play leapfrog with a photo enlarger.
%
Never argue with an artist.
%
-When in doubt, don't muble, overexpose...then mumble.
+When in doubt, don't muble, overexpose ... then mumble.
%
The light at the end of the tunnel really is a train.
%
A budget is saving quarters in a mason jar for
-christmas and spending them by easter.
+Christmas and spending them by Easter.
%
A budget is spending $15.00 on gas to drive to a
shopping mall to save $4.30 on a 20 pound turkey.
@@ -2212,7 +2192,7 @@ Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
%
It is far better to do nothing that to do
something efficiently.
- Siezbo
+ -- Siezbo
%
The man who has no more problems is out of the game.
%
@@ -2244,21 +2224,15 @@ When a distinguised scientist states something is possible,
he is almost certainly right. When he states that
something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
%
-Early to rise and early to bed makes a male
-healthy and wealthy and dead.
-%
Everyone gets away with something.
No one gets away with everything.
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Remain silent about your intentions until you are sure
-*--------------------------------------------------------------------*
-* Extensions as added by me, Jim Marshall
-*--------------------------------------------------------------------*
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Calm down .... it is only ones and zeros.
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-Real programmers don't write Cobol.
-Cobol is for wimpy applications programmers.
+Real programmers don't write COBOL.
+COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers.
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I have not lost my mind, it is backed up on tape somewhere.
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@@ -2281,27 +2255,27 @@ Real programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real
programmers don't know how to spell quiche. They eat
twinkies and szechwan food.
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-Real programmer's programs never work the first time. but
+Real programmer's programs never work the first time. But
if you throw them on the machine, they can be patched into
working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
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-Real programmers don't write in Fortran. Fortran is for
+Real programmers don't write in Fortran. Fortran is for
pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
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Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real
programmers are around at 9 a.m., it's because they
were up all night.
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-Real programmers don't write in basic. Actually, no
+Real programmers don't write in Basic. Actually, no
programmers write in basic after age 12.
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Real programmers don't write in PL/1. PL/1 is for
programmers who can't decide whether to write in
-Cobol or Fortran.
+COBOL or Fortran.
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Real programmers don't play tennis or any other sport
that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is
-ok, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work
+O.K., and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work
in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle
of the machine room.
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@@ -2318,9 +2292,9 @@ with the same staff that started it. Yours will not be the
first.
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When things are going well, something will go wrong.
-- when things just can't get any worse, they will.
-- when things appear to be going better you have overlooked
- something.
+When things just can't get any worse, they will.
+When things appear to be going better you have overlooked
+something.
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If project content is allowed to change freely, the rate of
change will exceed the rate of progress.
@@ -2338,7 +2312,7 @@ than done
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If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
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-Never wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty, and the pig
+Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty, and the pig
likes it!
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Never argue with an idiot: People watching may not be able
@@ -2347,17 +2321,17 @@ to tell the difference.
Don't fight with a bear in his own cage.
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The six steps of program management are:
- 1. Wild enthusiasm
- 2. Disenchantment
- 3. Total confusion
- 4. Search for guilty
- 5. Punishment for the innocent
- 6. Promotion of the non-participants
+(1) Wild enthusiasm
+(2) Disenchantment
+(3) Total confusion
+(4) Search for guilty
+(5) Punishment for the innocent
+(6) Promotion of the non-participants
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He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from
the next freeway exit.
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-An expert doesn't know any more than you do. He oe she is
+An expert doesn't know any more than you do. He or she is
merely better organized and uses slides.
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Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have
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