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authorwollman <wollman@FreeBSD.org>2002-04-25 19:12:30 +0000
committerwollman <wollman@FreeBSD.org>2002-04-25 19:12:30 +0000
commitcbe4dc51aae7de7560f0cdc2bb07e7cc751fd906 (patch)
tree6c9d194962f860ac0f1f7d30aa8b3c2d3475400d /games
parent5677848cb8a9100adc903d197b2cf863bc386c3a (diff)
downloadFreeBSD-src-cbe4dc51aae7de7560f0cdc2bb07e7cc751fd906.zip
FreeBSD-src-cbe4dc51aae7de7560f0cdc2bb07e7cc751fd906.tar.gz
Resort and suppress dupes.
Diffstat (limited to 'games')
-rw-r--r--games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2278
1 files changed, 126 insertions, 152 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index 114203b..00354a4 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -1,4 +1,7 @@
-%% $FreeBSD$
+This fortune brought to you by:
+$FreeBSD$
+
+%
=======================================================================
|| ||
|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! ||
@@ -578,6 +581,9 @@ the foreman, who had been nonchalantly watching the whole time.
"That's all you do?" answered the foreman scornfully. "Bird
imitations?"
%
+ A crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He was going to make a
+long-distance caw.
+%
A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating
his morning meal. "I would like to give you this personality test", said
the outsider, "because I want you to be happy."
@@ -595,6 +601,9 @@ and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then
commented, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
%
+ A farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the
+house of seven gobbles.
+%
A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a
buddy down the road, who owns several boars. They agree on a stud fee, and
the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and takes them down the road to the
@@ -618,10 +627,6 @@ her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her
looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen. "My pup," she murmured
sadly, "runneth over."
%
- Catching his children with their hands in the new, still wet, patio,
-the father spanked them. His wife asked, "Don't you love your children?"
-"In the abstract, yes, but not in the concrete."
-%
A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods.
After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears,
one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed. They killed
@@ -670,19 +675,13 @@ be? I raised that dog from a pup to be a vicious killer."
"Yes, well, that's all well and good," replied the first, "but my
dog's stuck in its throat."
%
- A horse breeder has his young colts bottle-fed after they're three
-days old. He heard that a foal and his mummy are soon parted.
-%
- A crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He was going to make a
-long-distance caw.
-%
- A musical reviewer admitted he always praised the first show of a
-new theatrical season. "Who am I to stone the first cast?"
-%
A hard-luck actor who appeared in one colossal disaster after another
finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact. Someone pointed out that it's
the first time the poor fellow's been in the same cast for more than a week.
%
+ A horse breeder has his young colts bottle-fed after they're three
+days old. He heard that a foal and his mummy are soon parted.
+%
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2.
The housewife replied, "Four!".
The accountant said, "It's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures
@@ -754,6 +753,10 @@ help but see was full of Swiss Army knives.
"Well, I'm young and attractive now", blushed the woman, "but that
won't always be true. And boy scouts will do anything for a Swiss Army knife!"
%
+ A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police
+during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he
+was making a bolt for the door.
+%
A man sank into the psychiatrist's couch and said, "I have a
terrible problem, Doctor. I have a son at Harvard and another son at
Princeton; I've just gifted each of them with a new Ferrari; I've got
@@ -770,22 +773,10 @@ something? It sounds to me like you have no problems at all."
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for
my 'gator."
%
- A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path.
-%
- A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police
-during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he
-was making a bolt for the door.
-%
- A farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the
-house of seven gobbles.
-%
A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his
wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
%
- A women was in love with fourteen soldiers, it was clearly platoonic.
-%
- Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills.
-Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."
+ A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path.
%
A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the
program on which he was working. "I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer
@@ -900,6 +891,9 @@ drove to the mall and bought imported consumer electronics goods.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Invest in foreign consumer electronics manufacturers.
-- Tom Annau
%
+ A musical reviewer admitted he always praised the first show of a
+new theatrical season. "Who am I to stone the first cast?"
+%
A musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at
the death of composer Edward MacDowell. She played the elegy for the
pianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion. "Well, it's quite
@@ -1143,6 +1137,8 @@ I've always loved it here."
"Why not?"
"She's left handed."
%
+ A women was in love with fourteen soldiers, it was clearly platoonic.
+%
A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened
to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the
sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
@@ -1489,6 +1485,10 @@ it some other time, Carrie."
She gave it up.
-- Sinclair Lewis, "Main Street"
%
+ Catching his children with their hands in the new, still wet, patio,
+the father spanked them. His wife asked, "Don't you love your children?"
+"In the abstract, yes, but not in the concrete."
+%
Chapter VIII
Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension,
Salvatore Quanucci was suddenly squirted out of the universe
@@ -2563,6 +2563,9 @@ smacked his lips with relish.
"Naw, I gotta git outa here, boy," the man grunted. "Big Mike's
a-comin'."
%
+ Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills.
+Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."
+%
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do,
and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the
graduate school mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
@@ -6503,10 +6506,6 @@ A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
to take it all away.
-- Barry Goldwater
%
-A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
-to take it all away.
- -- Barry Goldwater
-%
A grammarian's life is always intense.
%
A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.
@@ -8956,6 +8955,9 @@ All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.
-- Gaius Julius Caesar, quoted in "The Conspiracy of
Catiline", by Sallust
%
+All business is based on the mutual trust of one of the parts.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
All constants are variables.
%
All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.
@@ -10619,6 +10621,9 @@ Art is anything you can get away with.
Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.
-- Chazal
%
+"Art" is the ability to separate the significant from the insignificant.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Art is the tree of life. Science is the tree of death.
%
Arthur's Laws of Love:
@@ -11296,9 +11301,6 @@ Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.
Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes.
-- Will Rogers
%
-Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.
- -- The Best of Will Rogers
-%
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
@@ -11530,6 +11532,11 @@ and inquired, "Well, how are you feeling these days?"
"Not too well," said the expectant mother. "You know, I've missed
seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."
%
+Being conservative has never been regarded as old-fashioned. But
+if you fight for a sensible step in the right direction which others
+has deserted you will be branded "reactionary".
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real
disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
%
@@ -14324,6 +14331,9 @@ nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%
+Democracy can only be measured on the existence of an opposition.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder
aloud what the country could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper
@@ -16239,6 +16249,9 @@ Everything is possible. Pass the word.
Everything might be different in the present
if only one thing had been different in the past.
%
+Everything new stalls because there is precedence for the old.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
%
Everything should be built top-down, except this time.
@@ -16472,6 +16485,11 @@ Fairy tale:
%
Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
%
+Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place it
+ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures. It is
+the doubt that moved all the mountains.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam
on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.
%
@@ -18134,6 +18152,11 @@ From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back.
That is the point that must be reached.
-- F. Kafka
%
+From Italian tourist guide:
+
+ "Non stop trains to Roma Termini Station leave from 7.38
+ a.m. to 10.08 p.m., hourly."
+%
From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
%
From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.
@@ -18153,6 +18176,16 @@ From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was
convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx
%
+From the pages of Open Systems Today - October 13, 1994 ..........
+
+ "The International Standards Organization (ISO) and the
+ International Electrotechnical Commission (IEC) designated
+ October 14 as World Standards Day to recognize those
+ volunteers who have worked hard to define international
+ standards.......The United States celebrated World Standards
+ Day on October 11; Finland celebrated on October 13; and
+ Italy celebrated on October 18."
+%
From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving,
@@ -18210,6 +18243,9 @@ but if we send it by ship, it's cargo.
%
Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening.
%
+Future will arrive by its own means. Progress not so.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.
-- Joseph Stalin
%
@@ -19909,6 +19945,9 @@ He who attacks the fundamentals of the American
broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.
-- William S. Paley, chairman of CBS
%
+He who dares the wrong, acts right, that's how it happens!
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for
the human condition is a fool.
-- Albert Camus
@@ -20610,6 +20649,11 @@ Hitchcock's Staple Principle:
The stapler runs out of staples
only while you are trying to staple something.
%
+Hitler used methods against white men in Europe, which by tacit
+agreement between the cultural European nations were only to be
+used against the coloured.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
H.L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H.L. Mencken.
There is no cure for a disease of that magnitude.
-- Maxwell Bodenhein
@@ -21625,6 +21669,10 @@ I get fat. I buy new clothes. No problem.
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%
+I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two
+highly trained certified public accountants.
+ -- Elvis Presley
+%
I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've got
hundreds of people waiting to abuse me.
-- Bill Murray, "Ghostbusters"
@@ -22655,12 +22703,6 @@ I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats
on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
-- Stephen Wright
%
-I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
- -- Steven Wright
-%
-I put instant coffee in a microwave, and almost went back in time.
- -- Stephen Wright
-%
I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time.
-- Stephen Wright
%
@@ -23276,13 +23318,6 @@ the food cheaper, and old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier
in the summer.
-- Brendan Behan
%
-I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I
-don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
-with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
-the food cheaper, and old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier
-in the summer.
- -- Brendan Behan
-%
I waited and waited and when no message came I knew it must be from you.
%
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
@@ -23882,11 +23917,6 @@ to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude
that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
-- Rob Stampfli
%
-If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever
-to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude
-that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
- -- Rob Stampfli
-%
If all be true that I do think,
There be five reasons why one should drink;
Good friends, good wine, or being dry,
@@ -26062,11 +26092,11 @@ husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never
be free of subjugation.
-- The Hindu Code of Manu
%
-In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
-%
In Christianity, a man may have only one wife.
This is called Monotony.
%
+In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
+%
In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.
-- W. Churchill, on General Montgomery
%
@@ -30643,11 +30673,11 @@ recognition for all the bad things they haven't done.
%
Many people resent being treated like the person they really are.
%
-Many people write memos to tell you they have nothing to say.
-%
Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do.
-- Bertrand Russell
%
+Many people write memos to tell you they have nothing to say.
+%
Many receive advice, few profit by it.
-- Publilius Syrus
%
@@ -36178,6 +36208,9 @@ poor people.
POWER:
The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.
%
+Power and ignorance is a detestable cocktail.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
%
@@ -41691,6 +41724,9 @@ of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."
%
The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
%
+The bold youth of today is very lonely.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.
-- Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project
%
@@ -44418,6 +44454,10 @@ nothing from history. I know people who can't even learn from what happened
this morning. Hegel must have been taking the long view.
-- Chad C. Mulligan, "The Hipcrime Vocab"
%
+The only thing which separates man from child is all the values
+he has lost over the years.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.
-- C. Schultz
%
@@ -44884,10 +44924,6 @@ The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
taken seriously.
-- Hubert Humphrey
%
-The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
-taken seriously.
- -- Hubert Humphrey
-%
The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
-- Justice Douglas
%
@@ -44938,6 +44974,11 @@ The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give 'em a number or
give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn
%
+The rules are rather simple to understand: Under democracy you
+can defend any view, but only defend it. You can not try to realize
+it through power, violence or weapons.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
The rules:
1: Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.
@@ -45315,6 +45356,10 @@ and this source has a null pointer.
Reference the NULL within NULL,
it is the gateway to all wizardry.
%
+The technician should never forget that he is an artist, the
+artist never that he is a technician.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer
them a drink.
-- Fran Lebowitz, "Interview"
@@ -46659,6 +46704,9 @@ There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party
is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.
-- Benjamin Disraeli, "Vivian Grey"
%
+There is no bad taste. There is only good taste, and that is bad.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law.
No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.
-- Jean Giraudoux, "Tiger at the Gates"
@@ -46852,6 +46900,9 @@ There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which
it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.
-- James Boswell
%
+There is plenty of time before progress goes too far.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale
returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain
@@ -49965,6 +50016,10 @@ We are the unwilling... led by the unqualified...
to do the unnecessary... for the ungrateful...
-- GI in Vietnam, 1970
%
+We are unavoidably drawn towards conservatism and death.
+The order is not insignificant.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
We are what we are.
%
We are what we pretend to be.
@@ -50292,6 +50347,10 @@ It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us.
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
-- Thucydides
%
+We seem to have forgotten the simple truth that reason is never perfect.
+Only non-sense attains perfection.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%
@@ -52120,6 +52179,9 @@ When the candles are out all women are fair.
%
When the cup is full, carry it level.
%
+When the doubt vanishes and the issue becomes evident, stupidity reigns.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.
-- Billy Sunday
%
@@ -54312,6 +54374,10 @@ You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.
You can always tell the people that are forging the new frontier.
They're the ones with arrows sticking out of their backs.
%
+You can approach truth, but never capture it.
+Lies can be had 'round the corner.
+ -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+%
You can be replaced by this computer.
%
You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
@@ -54822,10 +54888,6 @@ him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says "I'd like you to
meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!"
-- Cynthia Heimel, "A Girl's Guide to Chaos"
%
-I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two
-highly trained certified public accountants.
- -- Elvis Presley
-%
You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.
-- E.A. Gilliam
%
@@ -55823,91 +55885,3 @@ since I first called my brother's father dad.
Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
People are always available for work in the past tense.
%
-From the pages of Open Systems Today - October 13, 1994 ..........
-
- "The International Standards Organization (ISO) and the
- International Electrotechnical Commission (IEC) designated
- October 14 as World Standards Day to recognize those
- volunteers who have worked hard to define international
- standards.......The United States celebrated World Standards
- Day on October 11; Finland celebrated on October 13; and
- Italy celebrated on October 18."
-%
-From Italian tourist guide:
-
- "Non stop trains to Roma Termini Station leave from 7.38
- a.m. to 10.08 p.m., hourly."
-%
-All business is based on the mutual trust of one of the parts.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-The technician should never forget that he is an artist, the
-artist never that he is a technician.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Everything new stalls because there is precedence for the old.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-We are unavoidably drawn towards conservatism and death.
-The order is not insignificant.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Future will arrive by its own means. Progress not so.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place it
-ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures. It is
-the doubt that moved all the mountains.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-There is no bad taste. There is only good taste, and that is bad.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-The only thing which separates man from child is all the values
-he has lost over the years.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Being conservative has never been regarded as old-fashioned. But
-if you fight for a sensible step in the right direction which others
-has deserted you will be branded "reactionary".
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-"Art" is the ability to separate the significant from the insignificant.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-We seem to have forgotten the simple truth that reason is never perfect.
-Only non-sense attains perfection.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Democracy can only be measured on the existence of an opposition.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-When the doubt vanishes and the issue becomes evident, stupidity reigns.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-The rules are rather simple to understand: Under democracy you
-can defend any view, but only defend it. You can not try to realize
-it through power, violence or weapons.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-He who dares the wrong, acts right, that's how it happens!
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-You can approach truth, but never capture it.
-Lies can be had 'round the corner.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-There is plenty of time before progress goes too far.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Hitler used methods against white men in Europe, which by tacit
-agreement between the cultural European nations were only to be
-used against the coloured.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-Power and ignorance is a detestable cocktail.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
-The bold youth of today is very lonely.
- -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
-%
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