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+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -1,8 +1,218 @@
 %% $FreeBSD$
+		My Favorite Drugs [Sung to My Favorite Things]
+Reefers and roach clips and papers and rollers
+Cocaine and procaine for twenty year molars
+Reds and peyote to work out your bugs
+These are a few of my favorite drugs.
+
+Uppers and downers and methedrine freakout
+Take some amphetamines, watch your brains leak out
+Acid and mescaline pull out your plugs
+These are a few of my favorite drugs.
+
+Backs that are perfect for carrying monkeys
+Users of heroin, often called junkies
+Methadone helps then to stop being thugs
+Takes them off one of my favorite drugs.
+
+	On a bad trip
+	When the cops come
+	When I lose my head
+	I simply take more of my favorite drugs
+	And then I'm not sad -- I'm dead!
+%
+		NEW ADDITION TO THE LIBRARY:
+"Sally", the department's new inflatable doll, is available on a
+short-term removal basis only -- please sign her out and return her
+promptly to avoid extended waits.  (We are still awaiting shipment of
+our "Big John" doll.)
+%
+	... But among the children of the Great Society there were
+those whose skins were black.  And lo!  Their portion was niggardly,
+and of the fatted calf they were sucking hind teat....
+	Now it came to pass that a prophet rose up amongst them, and
+they called him King.  And he went unto Pharaoh and said, "Let my
+people go to the front of the bus."
+	But Pharaoh answered: "In the fullness of time and with all
+deliberate speed shall this thing come to pass.  When ye shall prove
+yourselves worthy, shall ye have your just portion -- yea, verily, like
+unto a snowball in Hell."
+		-- "The Begatting of a President"
+%
+	And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"
+	They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the
+ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our
+very selfhood revealed."
+	And Jesus replied, "What?"
+%
+	"God built a compelling sex drive into every creature, no
+matter what style of fucking it practiced.  He made sex irresistibly
+pleasurable, wildly joyous, free from fears.  He made it innocent
+merriment.
+	"Needless to say, fucking was an immediate smash hit.  Everyone
+agreed, from aardvarks to zebras.  All the jolly animals -- lions and
+lambs, rhinoceroses and gazelles, skylarks and lobsters, even insects,
+though most of them fuck only once in a lifetime -- fucked along
+innocently and merrily for hundreds of millions of years.  Maybe they
+were dumb animals, but they knew a good thing when they had one."
+		-- Alan Sherman, "The Rape of the A*P*E*"
+%
+	In the beginning was the DEMO Project.  And the Project was
+without form.  And darkness was upon the staff members thereof.  So
+they spake unto their Division Head, saying, "It is a crock of shit,
+and it stinks."
+
+	And the Division Head spake unto his Department Head, saying,
+"It is a crock of excrement and none may abide the odor thereof."  Now,
+the Department Head spake unto his Directorate Head, saying, "It is a
+container of excrement, and is very strong, such that none may abide
+before it."  And it came to pass that the Directorate Head spake unto
+the Assistant Technical Director, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer
+and none may abide by its strength."
+
+	And the assistant Technical Director spake thus unto the
+Technical Director, saying, "It containeth that which aids growth and
+it is very strong."  And, Lo, the Technical Director spake then unto
+the Captain, saying, "The powerful new Project will help promote the
+growth of the Laboratories."
+
+	And the Captain looked down upon the Project, and He saw that
+it was Good!
+%
+	Overheard in a bar:
+Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!"
+Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now."
+%
+	The big problem with pornography is defining it.  You can't
+just say it's pictures of people naked.  For example, you have these
+primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot,
+and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal
+saying goes: "N'wam k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think
+you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same
+time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of
+Northern Mali that you may be interested in."
+	So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic
+publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest
+naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason
+naked, or whatever.  But if National Geographic were to publish an
+article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System
+Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography.  But
+others would not.  And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev.
+Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.
+		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
+%
+	The defense attorney was hammering away at the plaintiff: "You
+claim," he jeered, "that my client came at you with a broken bottle in
+his hand.  But is it not true, that you had something in YOUR hand?"
+
+	"Yes," he admitted, "his wife. Very charming, of course, but
+not much good in a fight."
+%
+	The Gray-haired Woman's Complaint
+
+My back aches, my pussy is sore;
+I simply can't fuck any more;
+	I'm covered with sweat,
+	And you haven't come yet,
+And my God, it's a quarter to four!
+%
+	Them Toad Suckers
+
+How 'bout them toad suckers, ain't they clods?
+Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs!
+
+Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
+Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.
+
+Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
+Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!
+
+Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
+Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!
+
+How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
+Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!
+		-- Mason Williams
+%
+	Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn
+how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay,
+you say `ass' and I'll say `hell'".
+	All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where
+their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast.
+	"Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios."
+His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the
+room, and turns to the younger brother.  "What'll you have?"
+	"I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass
+it ain't gonna be Cheerios."
+%
+	"What the hell are you getting so upset about?  I thought you
+didn't believe in God."
+	"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the
+God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God.  He's
+not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
+		-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
+%
+	When the surgeon came to see her on the morning after her
+operation, the young woman asked her somewhat hesitantly how long it
+would be before she could resume her sex life.  "I really haven't
+thought about it," gulped the stunned surgeon.  "You're the first
+patient who's asked me that after a tonsillectomy!"
+%
+        The Split-Atom Blues
+
+Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine,
+    Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline....
+But if you split those atoms fine,
+    Mama keep 'em off those genes of mine!
+
+Gimme zits, take my dough,
+    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll....
+Call the devil and sell my soul,
+    But Mama keep dem atoms whole!
+		-- Milo Bloom, "Bloom County"
+%
+... And then there's the guy who bought 20,000 bras, cut them in half,
+and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps....
+%
+... But the reward of a successful collaboration is a thing that cannot
+be produced by either of the parties working alone.  It is akin to the
+benefits of sex with a partner, as opposed to masturbation.  The latter
+is fun, but you show me anyone who has gotten a baby from playing with
+him or herself, and I'll show you an ugly baby, with just a whole bunch
+of knuckles.
+		-- Harlan Ellison
+%
 71:
 	69 with two fingers up your ass.
 		-- George Carlin
 %
+... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are.  On one side,
+you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of
+fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating
+stunts to win the approval of the Republican Right.  For example, they
+had him make a speech oozing praise all over William Loeb, deceased
+publisher of the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader and Slime Journalist.
+Loeb had dumped viciously all over George in the 1980 New Hampshire
+primary.  But when the Right held a big tribute for Loeb, George came
+back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped around his
+neck.
+		-- Dave Barry, "The Twinkie and the Squid"
+%
+... So this is a very confusing situation, and what makes it even worse
+is, our standards keep changing.  Take Playboy magazine.  Back in the
+1950s, when I started reading it strictly for the articles, Playboy was
+considered just about the raciest thing around, even though all it ever
+showed was women's breasts.  Granted, any given one of these breasts
+would have provided adequate shelter for a family of four, but the
+overall effect was no more explicit than many publications we think
+nothing of today, such as Sports Illustrated's Annual Nipples Poking
+Through Swimsuits Issue.
+		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
+%
+... The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil
+out of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.
+		-- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19
+%
 A bather whose clothing was strewed
 By breezes that left her quite nude,
 	Saw a man come along
@@ -111,8 +321,6 @@ Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
 	"Get out of my clinic;
 Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"
 %
-A.I. hackers do it with robots.
-%
 Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
 %
 "Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western
@@ -127,6 +335,8 @@ Achilles' Biological Findings:
 	    -- the chicken or the egg.  It was undoubtedly the
 	    rooster.
 %
+A.I. hackers do it with robots.
+%
 Aide to Raygun:  Sir, the poor are outside protesting your budget
 		 cuts.
 Raygun himself:  Tell them they'll have to help themselves.
@@ -173,15 +383,6 @@ bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,
 provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"
 		-- Dave Barry, "Getting Religion"
 %
-	And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"
-	They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the
-ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our
-very selfhood revealed."
-	And Jesus replied, "What?"
-%
-... And then there's the guy who bought 20,000 bras, cut them in half,
-and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps....
-%
 Anxiety, n.:
 	The first time you can't do it a second time.
 
@@ -261,14 +462,6 @@ Know-How reloaded the brassiere with tits, every heterosexual male in
 the country was hopelessly trapped.
 		-- Alan Sherman, "The Rape of the A*P*E*"
 %
-... But the reward of a successful collaboration is a thing that cannot
-be produced by either of the parties working alone.  It is akin to the
-benefits of sex with a partner, as opposed to masturbation.  The latter
-is fun, but you show me anyone who has gotten a baby from playing with
-him or herself, and I'll show you an ugly baby, with just a whole bunch
-of knuckles.
-		-- Harlan Ellison
-%
 "California is proud to be the home of the freeway."
 		-- Ronald Reagan
 %
@@ -516,18 +709,6 @@ $50.00 shoved up your ass, a nickel at a time.
 "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
-	"God built a compelling sex drive into every creature, no
-matter what style of fucking it practiced.  He made sex irresistibly
-pleasurable, wildly joyous, free from fears.  He made it innocent
-merriment.
-	"Needless to say, fucking was an immediate smash hit.  Everyone
-agreed, from aardvarks to zebras.  All the jolly animals -- lions and
-lambs, rhinoceroses and gazelles, skylarks and lobsters, even insects,
-though most of them fuck only once in a lifetime -- fucked along
-innocently and merrily for hundreds of millions of years.  Maybe they
-were dumb animals, but they knew a good thing when they had one."
-		-- Alan Sherman, "The Rape of the A*P*E*"
-%
 God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.
 %
 God is an atheist.
@@ -628,18 +809,6 @@ damsels is not righteous, but he can have a lot more fun.
 He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own
 hands.
 %
-"He's not pining, he's passed on!  This parrot won't squawk!  He's
-ceased to be!  He's expired, and gone to meet his maker!  It's a
-stiff!  No breath of life, he may rest in peace!  If you hadn't nailed
-him to the perch, he'd be pushing up the daisies!  He's off the twig!
-He's kicked the bucket!  He's curled up his tooties!  He's shuffled off
-this mortal world!  He's run down the curtain, and joined the bleed'n
-Choir Invincible!  HE'S FUCKING SNUFFED IT!  Vis-a-vi his metabolic
-processes is head is lost.  All statements concerning this parrot is no
-longer a going concern, after from now on, Inoperative...
-
-		THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"
-%
 Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest
 in a yak.
 		-- Woody Allen
@@ -673,6 +842,18 @@ King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed:
 and the mind of Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina."
 		-- Dennis Miller, "Saturday Night Live"
 %
+"He's not pining, he's passed on!  This parrot won't squawk!  He's
+ceased to be!  He's expired, and gone to meet his maker!  It's a
+stiff!  No breath of life, he may rest in peace!  If you hadn't nailed
+him to the perch, he'd be pushing up the daisies!  He's off the twig!
+He's kicked the bucket!  He's curled up his tooties!  He's shuffled off
+this mortal world!  He's run down the curtain, and joined the bleed'n
+Choir Invincible!  HE'S FUCKING SNUFFED IT!  Vis-a-vi his metabolic
+processes is head is lost.  All statements concerning this parrot is no
+longer a going concern, after from now on, Inoperative...
+
+		THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"
+%
 History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion --
 i.e., none to speak of.
 		-- Lazarus Long
@@ -763,18 +944,6 @@ scares the shit out of me.
 I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on
 now.
 %
-I'm for peace -- I've yet to see a man wake up in the morning and say
-"I've just had a good war."
-	       -- Mae West
-%
-I'm going to Iowa for an award.  Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall,
-it's sold out.  Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French
-government -- I'd give it all up for one erection.
-		-- Groucho Marx
-%
-"I've had one child.  My husband wants to have another.  I'd like to
-watch him have another."
-%
 If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.  If this doesn't
 work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.
 %
@@ -848,32 +1017,19 @@ buzz-saw."
 Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.
 		-- Robert Burton
 %
+I'm for peace -- I've yet to see a man wake up in the morning and say
+"I've just had a good war."
+	       -- Mae West
+%
+I'm going to Iowa for an award.  Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall,
+it's sold out.  Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French
+government -- I'd give it all up for one erection.
+		-- Groucho Marx
+%
 "In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with
 reality at any point."
 		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
-	In the beginning was the DEMO Project.  And the Project was
-without form.  And darkness was upon the staff members thereof.  So
-they spake unto their Division Head, saying, "It is a crock of shit,
-and it stinks."
-
-	And the Division Head spake unto his Department Head, saying,
-"It is a crock of excrement and none may abide the odor thereof."  Now,
-the Department Head spake unto his Directorate Head, saying, "It is a
-container of excrement, and is very strong, such that none may abide
-before it."  And it came to pass that the Directorate Head spake unto
-the Assistant Technical Director, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer
-and none may abide by its strength."
-
-	And the assistant Technical Director spake thus unto the
-Technical Director, saying, "It containeth that which aids growth and
-it is very strong."  And, Lo, the Technical Director spake then unto
-the Captain, saying, "The powerful new Project will help promote the
-growth of the Laboratories."
-
-	And the Captain looked down upon the Project, and He saw that
-it was Good!
-%
 In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,
 Massaging the bust of his madam,
 	He chuckled with mirth,
@@ -899,6 +1055,9 @@ Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything.  They had no vital
 lies."
 		-- Edith Hamilton, "The Greek Way"
 %
+"I've had one child.  My husband wants to have another.  I'd like to
+watch him have another."
+%
 Jesus died for your sins.  Make it worth his time.
 %
 "Jesus saves... but Gretzky gets the rebound!"
@@ -928,18 +1087,6 @@ LET Jesus be YOUR anchor!
 
 So when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard!
 %
-... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are.  On one side,
-you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of
-fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating
-stunts to win the approval of the Republican Right.  For example, they
-had him make a speech oozing praise all over William Loeb, deceased
-publisher of the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader and Slime Journalist.
-Loeb had dumped viciously all over George in the 1980 New Hampshire
-primary.  But when the Right held a big tribute for Loeb, George came
-back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped around his
-neck.
-		-- Dave Barry, "The Twinkie and the Squid"
-%
 Life is like a penis: when it's soft you can't beat it, and when it's
 hard you get fucked.
 %
@@ -992,34 +1139,6 @@ My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my
 family, it seems, begins where yours left off.
 		-- Alexandre Dumas, pere
 %
-		My Favorite Drugs [Sung to My Favorite Things]
-Reefers and roach clips and papers and rollers
-Cocaine and procaine for twenty year molars
-Reds and peyote to work out your bugs
-These are a few of my favorite drugs.
-
-Uppers and downers and methedrine freakout
-Take some amphetamines, watch your brains leak out
-Acid and mescaline pull out your plugs
-These are a few of my favorite drugs.
-
-Backs that are perfect for carrying monkeys
-Users of heroin, often called junkies
-Methadone helps then to stop being thugs
-Takes them off one of my favorite drugs.
-
-	On a bad trip
-	When the cops come
-	When I lose my head
-	I simply take more of my favorite drugs
-	And then I'm not sad -- I'm dead!
-%
-		NEW ADDITION TO THE LIBRARY:
-"Sally", the department's new inflatable doll, is available on a
-short-term removal basis only -- please sign her out and return her
-promptly to avoid extended waits.  (We are still awaiting shipment of
-our "Big John" doll.)
-%
 No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether
 she will or will not be a mother.
 		-- Margaret H. Sanger
@@ -1033,13 +1152,6 @@ Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex.
 %
 Nuke the gay, unborn, baby whales for Jesus.
 %
-O'Riordan's Theorem:
-	Brains x Beauty = Constant.
-
-Purmal's Corollary:
-	As the limit of (Brains x Beauty) goes to infinity,
-availability goes to zero.
-%
 Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.
 %
 Occident, n.:
@@ -1113,6 +1225,21 @@ Opinions are like assholes -- everyone's got one, but nobody wants to
 look at the other guy's.
 		-- Hal Hickman
 %
+O'Riordan's Theorem:
+	Brains x Beauty = Constant.
+
+Purmal's Corollary:
+	As the limit of (Brains x Beauty) goes to infinity,
+availability goes to zero.
+%
+"Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in
+a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave
+national emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to
+gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it  by furnishing the
+exorbitant sums demanded.  Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem
+never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real."
+		-- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
+%
 Our [softball] team usually puts the other woman at second base, where
 the maximum possible number of males can get there on short notice to
 help out in case of emergency.  As far as I can tell, our second
@@ -1126,18 +1253,6 @@ probably would elect to save the infant's life, without ever
 considering whether there were men on base.
 		-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"
 %
-"Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in
-a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave
-national emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to
-gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it  by furnishing the
-exorbitant sums demanded.  Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem
-never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real."
-		-- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
-%
-	Overheard in a bar:
-Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!"
-Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now."
-%
 People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world
 citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.
 		-- Norman Cousins
@@ -1306,17 +1421,6 @@ candidates for president.
 		-- John Greenway, "The American Tradition", on feminist
 		   Elizabeth Gould Davis
 %
-... So this is a very confusing situation, and what makes it even worse
-is, our standards keep changing.  Take Playboy magazine.  Back in the
-1950s, when I started reading it strictly for the articles, Playboy was
-considered just about the raciest thing around, even though all it ever
-showed was women's breasts.  Granted, any given one of these breasts
-would have provided adequate shelter for a family of four, but the
-overall effect was no more explicit than many publications we think
-nothing of today, such as Sports Illustrated's Annual Nipples Poking
-Through Swimsuits Issue.
-		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
-%
 Sooner or later, generals will own you.
 %
 Statisticians do it with 95% confidence.
@@ -1346,49 +1450,12 @@ am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."
 at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
-	The big problem with pornography is defining it.  You can't
-just say it's pictures of people naked.  For example, you have these
-primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot,
-and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal
-saying goes: "N'wam k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think
-you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same
-time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of
-Northern Mali that you may be interested in."
-	So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic
-publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest
-naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason
-naked, or whatever.  But if National Geographic were to publish an
-article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System
-Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography.  But
-others would not.  And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev.
-Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.
-		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
-%
 The computer is the ultimate polluter: its shit is indistinguishable
 from the food it produces.
 %
-	The defense attorney was hammering away at the plaintiff: "You
-claim," he jeered, "that my client came at you with a broken bottle in
-his hand.  But is it not true, that you had something in YOUR hand?"
-
-	"Yes," he admitted, "his wife. Very charming, of course, but
-not much good in a fight."
-%
 The difference between this school and a cactus plant is that the
 cactus has the pricks on the outside.
 %
-... The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil
-out of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.
-		-- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19
-%
-	The Gray-haired Woman's Complaint
-
-My back aches, my pussy is sore;
-I simply can't fuck any more;
-	I'm covered with sweat,
-	And you haven't come yet,
-And my God, it's a quarter to four!
-%
 The man who said "A bird in the hand's worth two in the bush" has been
 putting his bird in the *WRONG* bushes.
 %
@@ -1449,19 +1516,6 @@ The sergeant walked into the shower and caught me giving myself a
 dishonorable discharge.  Without missing a beat, I said, "It's my dick
 and I can wash it as fast as I want!"
 %
-        The Split-Atom Blues
-
-Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine,
-    Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline....
-But if you split those atoms fine,
-    Mama keep 'em off those genes of mine!
-
-Gimme zits, take my dough,
-    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll....
-Call the devil and sell my soul,
-    But Mama keep dem atoms whole!
-		-- Milo Bloom, "Bloom County"
-%
 "The State of California has no business subsidizing intellectual
 curiosity."
 		-- Ronald Reagan
@@ -1494,24 +1548,6 @@ down in silly puns about "standing erect".
 %
 The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of shit.
 %
-	Them Toad Suckers
-
-How 'bout them toad suckers, ain't they clods?
-Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs!
-
-Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
-Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.
-
-Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
-Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!
-
-Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
-Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!
-
-How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
-Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!
-		-- Mason Williams
-%
 There are also a lot of nice buildings in Haiphong.  What their
 contributions are to the war effort I don't know, but the desire to
 bomb a virgin building is terrific.
@@ -1806,17 +1842,6 @@ And paused to smoke some pot.
 					All whimsy were the slamming chicks,
 					And the Radcliffe undergrad.
 %
-	Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn
-how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay,
-you say `ass' and I'll say `hell'".
-	All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where
-their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast.
-	"Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios."
-His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the
-room, and turns to the younger brother.  "What'll you have?"
-	"I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass
-it ain't gonna be Cheerios."
-%
 "Under capitalism, man exploits man.  Under Communism, it's just the
 opposite."
 		-- John Kenneth Galbraith
@@ -1853,19 +1878,6 @@ walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
 country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."
 		-- Ronald Reagan
 %
-WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT.  The MX is really
-[Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms-
-reduction talks with the Russians.  See, we have a problem with the
-Russians.  They look at our leaders and they see, for example, George
-Bush, who is really a fine and brave man but who happens to have this
-unfortunate physical characteristic whereby when he talks he sounds as
-though he just inhaled a helium party balloon.  If he ever becomes
-President, the Russians will deliberately create nuclear crises just so
-they can gather around the Hot Line with refreshments and listen to
-George talk.
-		-- Dave Barry, "At Last, the Ultimate Deterrent Against
-		   Political Fallout"
-%
 Well, see, Joyce, there we were, trapped in the elevator.  Now, I had
 my tennis racquet and the goldfish; she was holding the Crisco.  Surely
 you can imagine how one thing naturally led to another!
@@ -1889,6 +1901,19 @@ The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says:
 "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so
 pissed."
 %
+WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT.  The MX is really
+[Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms-
+reduction talks with the Russians.  See, we have a problem with the
+Russians.  They look at our leaders and they see, for example, George
+Bush, who is really a fine and brave man but who happens to have this
+unfortunate physical characteristic whereby when he talks he sounds as
+though he just inhaled a helium party balloon.  If he ever becomes
+President, the Russians will deliberately create nuclear crises just so
+they can gather around the Hot Line with refreshments and listen to
+George talk.
+		-- Dave Barry, "At Last, the Ultimate Deterrent Against
+		   Political Fallout"
+%
 What can you use used tampons for?  Tea bags for vampires.
 %
 What did Mickey Mouse get for Christmas?
@@ -1899,13 +1924,6 @@ Ford?
 
 Figuring out what to do with the other 3K.
 %
-	"What the hell are you getting so upset about?  I thought you
-didn't believe in God."
-	"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the
-God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God.  He's
-not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
-		-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
-%
 When God created man, She was only testing.
 %
 When God created two sexes, he may have been overdoing it.
@@ -1918,12 +1936,6 @@ can't happen."
 When it all boils down to the essence of truth one must live by a dog's
 rule of life: if you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it!
 %
-	When the surgeon came to see her on the morning after her
-operation, the young woman asked her somewhat hesitantly how long it
-would be before she could resume her sex life.  "I really haven't
-thought about it," gulped the stunned surgeon.  "You're the first
-patient who's asked me that after a tonsillectomy!"
-%
 While I, with my usual enthusiasm,
 Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
 	She explained, "They are flat,
@@ -2026,14 +2038,3 @@ into your coffee.  You:
 to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently."
 		-- J. Wainwright, Mathematics 140b
 %
-	... But among the children of the Great Society there were
-those whose skins were black.  And lo!  Their portion was niggardly,
-and of the fatted calf they were sucking hind teat....
-	Now it came to pass that a prophet rose up amongst them, and
-they called him King.  And he went unto Pharaoh and said, "Let my
-people go to the front of the bus."
-	But Pharaoh answered: "In the fullness of time and with all
-deliberate speed shall this thing come to pass.  When ye shall prove
-yourselves worthy, shall ye have your just portion -- yea, verily, like
-unto a snowball in Hell."
-		-- "The Begatting of a President"