Sync fortunes with other *BSDs

- Spelling errors - Typographical fixes - Consistent attributions - Use Jr. more consistently - Capitalization of dictionary-like entries - Sorting using tools/do_sort - Remove duplicate fortunes - Style according to the Notes file - Reflect correct default fortune name in Notes - Remove some no longer needed spelling hints - Drop latin1 characters (sorry Mårten) This is a partial sync against the DragonflyBSD sources, where a lot of fixes from Free, Net and OpenBSD were merged previously. Only about 50% of the changes originate from there, the rest was done by dougb and yours truly. Partial review by: wilko (earlier version), ed (dito) In collaboration with: dougb Approved by: ed (co-mentor)
author: uqs <uqs@FreeBSD.org> 2010-03-31 18:21:25 +0000
committer: uqs <uqs@FreeBSD.org> 2010-03-31 18:21:25 +0000
commit: b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b (patch)
tree: 20ac63ff2dc661dd3b3f767dd729135fa404b5af /games/fortune/datfiles
parent: e62c77fe41c3665e07e23e9feb6b0352ac8844b0 (diff)
download: FreeBSD-src-b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b.zip
FreeBSD-src-b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b.tar.gz
6 files changed, 1303 insertions, 1334 deletions
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index ceff2a0..7d6fdd5 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -368,8 +368,10 @@ OR'd together, outta sight!
 	Double bucky, I'd like a whole word of
 	Double bucky, I'm happy I heard of
 	Double bucky, I'd like a whole word of you!
-
-		-- (C) 1978 by Guy L. Steele, Jr.
+		-- Guy L. Steele, Jr., (C) 1978
+		(to Nicholas Wirth, who suggested that an extra bit
+		be added to terminal codes on 36-bit machines for use
+		by screen editors.)
 %
 		Hard Copies and Chmod
 
@@ -834,7 +836,7 @@ would like on it.  "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the
 lawyer.
 	"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter.  "In this
 state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.  However,
-I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer'', if that would be okay."
+I could put `here lies an honest lawyer', if that would be okay."
 	"But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.
 	"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter.  "people will read it
 and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
@@ -1146,7 +1148,7 @@ strings of pearls.  The spirit and intent of the program should be retained
 throughout.  There should be neither too little nor too much, neither needless
 loops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming
 rigidity.
-	A program should follow the 'Law of Least Astonishment'.  What is this
+	A program should follow the "Law of Least Astonishment."  What is this
 law?  It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the
 way that astonishes him least.
 	A program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit.  The
@@ -1161,7 +1163,7 @@ program.
 conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: "What sort
 of programmers work for other companies?  They behaved badly and were
 unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their
-clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they
+clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed our hospitality suites and they
 made rude noises during my presentation."
 	The manager said: "I should have never sent you to the conference.
 Those programmers live beyond the physical world.  They consider life absurd,
@@ -1466,7 +1468,7 @@ generalizable.
 	The general tendency is to over-design the second system, using all
 the ideas and frills that were cautiously sidetracked on the first one.
 The result, as Ovid says, is a "big pile".
-		-- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 	An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her
 porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.  She
@@ -1513,7 +1515,7 @@ over canoe frames, for my people need transportation.  We are a fair people,
 and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife."
 	The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen",
 while plunging the knife into his heart.
- 	The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
+	The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
 "Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.
 	The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
 while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"
@@ -1562,7 +1564,7 @@ a postcard?"
 	"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
 	"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
 	"That was the curious incident."
-		-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
+		-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
 %
 	Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen
 preaching to a group of disciples.
@@ -1609,8 +1611,8 @@ Los Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head
 under the exhaust of a bus until he revived.
 %
 	Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and
-	took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of
-his followers.
+took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his
+followers.
 	One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and
 there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.
 	"Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the Priest in his
@@ -1626,7 +1628,7 @@ Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.)
 and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.  "He is full
 of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come
 by their ignorance the hard way."
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Cat's Cradle"
 %
 	Bubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November,
 and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the
@@ -1694,7 +1696,7 @@ way I ought to go from here?"
 the Cat.
 	"I don't care much where--" said Alice.
 	"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 	Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermont noted
 in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks.  I think we need more
@@ -1877,7 +1879,7 @@ how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence", "Finding Excellence",
 So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc.
 		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
 %
-	Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the
+	Exxon's "Universe of Energy" tends to the peculiar rather than the
 humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and
 rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the
 seats locomote through a short tunnel filled with clock-work dinosaurs.
@@ -1923,9 +1925,9 @@ of events, there lurks a singular, sinister attitude of mind."
 	"MINE! HA-HA!"
 %
 	"Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly:
-"of course you know what 'it' means."
+"of course you know what `it' means."
 
-	"I know what 'it' means well enough, when I find a thing,"
+	"I know what `it' means well enough, when I find a thing,"
 said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm.
 
 The question is, what did the archbishop find?"
@@ -1937,15 +1939,15 @@ such as a "pride of lions" or a "gaggle of geese."
 	One of the professors noticed a group of prostitutes down the block,
 and posed the question, "What name would be given to that group?"  The four
 fell into silence for a moment, as they pondered the possibilities...
-	At last, one spoke: "How about 'a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
+	At last, one spoke: "How about `a Jam of Tarts'?"  The others nodded
 in acknowledgment as they continued to consider the problem.  A second
-professor spoke: "I'd suggest 'an Essay of Trollops.'"  Again, the others
-nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose 'a Flourish of Strumpets.'"
+professor spoke: "I'd suggest `an Essay of Trollops.'"  Again, the others
+nodded.  A third spoke: "I propose `a Flourish of Strumpets.'"
 	They continued their walk in silence, until the first professor
 remarked to the remaining professor, who was the most senior and learned of
 the four, "You haven't suggested a name for our ladies.  What are your
 thoughts?"
-	Replied the fourth professor, "'An Anthology of Prose.'"
+	Replied the fourth professor, "`An Anthology of Prose.'"
 %
 	Fred noticed his roommate had a black eye upon returning from a dance.
 "What happened?"
@@ -1958,12 +1960,11 @@ and sarcastic?"
 	"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
 	"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."
 %
-	"Gee, Mudhead, everyone at More Science High has an
+	"Gee, Mudhead, everyone at Morse Science High has an
 extracurricular activity except you."
 	"Well, gee, doesn't Louise count?"
 	"Only to ten, Mudhead."
-
-		-- Firesign Theater
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 	"Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning
 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this
@@ -2261,7 +2262,7 @@ each other up:
 	  the floor.)  S-word.  Excuse me.  Look, Bob, I'm going to
 	  have to get back to you.
      Bob: Fine.
-		-- Dave Barry
+		-- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!"
 %
 	"I don't know what you mean by `glory,'" Alice said
 	Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.  "Of course you don't --
@@ -2276,7 +2277,9 @@ less."
 so many different things."
 	"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master--
 that's all."
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 	I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
 accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service.  For
@@ -2328,7 +2331,7 @@ operation - namely, to remove those irritant bodies."
 	"And then he will be sane?"
 	"Then he will be perfectly sane, and a quite admirable citizen."
 	"Thank heaven for science!" said old Yacob.
-		-- H.G. Wells, "The Country of the Blind"
+		-- H. G. Wells, "The Country of the Blind"
 %
 	"I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
 	"Did you ever see a doctor?"
@@ -2403,7 +2406,7 @@ more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
 might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not
 otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be
 otherwise.'"
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 	I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5."
 	He said, "What you need is to grow up, son."
@@ -2567,7 +2570,7 @@ man.  Mud-as-man alone could speak.
 	"Certainly," said man.
 	"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
 	And He went away.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Between Time and Timbuktu"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu"
 %
 	In the beginning there was data.  The data was without form and
 null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of
@@ -2815,7 +2818,7 @@ guzzled in one gulp and then smashed on the bar.  He then stood aghast as
 the man stuffed the broken bottle in his mouth, munched broken glass and
 smacked his lips with relish.
 	"Can I, ah, uh, get you another, sir?" the drifter stammered.
-	"Naw, I gotta git outa here, boy," the man grunted.  "Big Mike's
+	"Naw, I gotta git outta here, boy," the man grunted.  "Big Mike's
 a-comin'."
 %
 	Love's Drug
@@ -3002,7 +3005,7 @@ confirm who I am.
 		-- Captain Freedom
 %
 	Old Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train
-demolished an automobile and it's occupants. Being the chief witness, his
+demolished an automobile and its occupants. Being the chief witness, his
 testimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark,
 and he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid
 no attention to the signal.
@@ -3072,7 +3075,7 @@ and it was very juicy.  I stood up and took aim, and went into the windup,
 when my mother at the kitchen window called my name in a sharp voice.  I had
 to decide quickly.  I decided.
 	A rotten Big Boy hitting the target is a memorable sound, like a fat
-man doing a belly-flop.  With a whoop and a yell the tomatoe came after
+man doing a belly-flop.  With a whoop and a yell the tomatoee came after me
 faster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain
 me when Mother called her name in a sharp voice.  And my sister, who was a
 good person, obeyed and let go -- and burst into tears.  I guess she knew that
@@ -3164,7 +3167,7 @@ biggest, strongest fish he had ever caught.  He fought with it for hours,
 until, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface.  Looking of the edge
 of the boat, he saw the head of this huge fish breaking the surface.  Smiling
 with pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up.  Unfortunately, he
-accidently caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a
+accidentally caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a
 snap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud
 "sploosh!"  Distracted by this shiny object, the fish made a sudden lunge,
 simultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch.  Sadly, the
@@ -3539,12 +3542,14 @@ know."
 "An uncomfortable sort of age.  Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have
 said 'Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now."
 	"I never ask advice about growing,"  Alice said indignantly.
-	"Too proud?"  the other enquired.
+	"Too proud?" the other enquired.
 	Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion.  "I mean,"
 she said, "that one can't help growing older."
 	"ONE can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty; "but TWO can.  With
 proper assistance, you might have left off at seven."
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking-Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 	Several students were asked to prove that all odd integers are prime.
 	The first student to try to do this was a math student.  "Hmmm...
@@ -3732,7 +3737,7 @@ she'd been she said she'd spent the night with her sister Shirley."
 %
 	"That's right; the upper-case shift works fine on the screen, but
 they're not coming out on the damn printer...  Hold?  Sure, I'll hold."
-		-- e.e. cummings last service call
+		-- e. e. cummings last service call
 %
 	"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff
 and blow, "is to learn something.  That's the only thing that never fails.
@@ -3907,7 +3912,7 @@ married!  You're a sadist, that's what!"
 	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #2: RENE
 
 Named after the famous French philosopher and mathematician Rene
-DesCartes, RENE is a language used for artificial intelligence.  The
+Descartes, RENE is a language used for artificial intelligence.  The
 language is being developed at the Chicago Center of Machine Politics
 and Programming under a grant from the Jane Byrne Victory Fund.  A
 spokesman described the language as "Just as great as dis [sic] city of
@@ -4030,7 +4035,9 @@ called 'Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
 time completely bewildered.
 	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
 "A-sitting on a Gate": and the tune's my own invention."
-		--Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 	The only real game in the world, I think, is baseball...
 You've got to start way down, at the bottom, when you're six or seven years
@@ -4065,7 +4072,8 @@ blocks of wood.  Opaque, like black pools in darkened caves.
 	"The pyramid is opening!"
 	"Which one?"
 	"The one with the ever-widening hole in it!"
-		-- Firesign Theater, "How Can You Be In Two Places At
+		-- The Firesign Theatre,
+		   "How Can You Be In Two Places At
 		   Once When You're Not Anywhere At All"
 %
 	The salesman and the system analyst took off to spend a weekend in the
@@ -4157,8 +4165,8 @@ make sure that they are Earthlings.  Then there's the police.  In Portland,
 when some guy goes bananas, the cops rope off a sixteen block area around
 him and call a shrink from the medical school who stands atop a patrol car
 with a megaphone and shouts, "OK!  THIS!  ALL!  STARTED!  WHEN!  YOU!  WERE!
-THREE! YEARS!  OLD!  ON!  ACCOUNT! OF!  YOUR MOTHER!  RIGHT?  SO!  LET'S!
-TALK! ABOUT!  IT!"  Down here they don't waste that kind of time.  The LAPD
+THREE!  YEARS!  OLD!  ON!  ACCOUNT!  OF!  YOUR MOTHER!  RIGHT?  SO!  LET'S!
+TALK!  ABOUT!  IT!"  Down here they don't waste that kind of time.  The LAPD
 has SWAT teams composed of guys who make Darth Vader look like Mr. Peepers.
 Before they go to bust a bookie joint they mortar it first.
 		-- M. Christensen, "A Portland Innocent in LA"
@@ -4270,7 +4278,7 @@ you the Widow Miffin?" a small boy asked.
 	"Oh, no?" replied the little boy.  "Wait 'til you see what
 they're carrying upstairs!"
 %
-	There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnaped
+	There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped
 three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked
 each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
 can opener.
@@ -4282,13 +4290,13 @@ and escaped.
 off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall.  She was developing a good
 pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
 	The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising
-solution to the kissing problem; his dessicated corpse was propped calmly
+solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly
 against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
 	Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
 	Proof: assume the opposite...
 %
 	There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the
-warlord Wu.  The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design:
+warlord of Wu.  The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design:
 an accounting package or an operating system?"
 	"An operating system," replied the programmer.
 	The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief.  "Surely an
@@ -4328,7 +4336,7 @@ demands from him more than his utmost strength, that absorbs him, bone and
 sinew and brain and hope and fear and dreams -- and still calls for more.
 	They are fools that think otherwise.  No great effort was ever bought.
 No painting, no music, no poem, no cathedral in stone, no church, no state was
-ever raised into being for payment of any kind.  No parthenon, no Thermopylae
+ever raised into being for payment of any kind.  No Parthenon, no Thermopylae
 was ever built or fought for pay or glory; no Bukhara sacked, or China ground
 beneath Mongol heel, for loot or power alone.  The payment for doing these
 things was itself the doing of them.
@@ -4393,14 +4401,14 @@ be as easily led to beauty as to ugliness, to truth as to public
 relations, to joy as to bitterness, be said to be suffering from Hunter
 Thompson's disease.  I don't have it this morning.  It comes and goes.
 This morning I don't have Hunter Thompson's disease.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt
 		   from "A Political Disease", Vonnegut's review of "Fear
 		   and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72"
 %
-	To A Quick Young Fox
+	To A Quick Young Fox:
 Why jog exquisite bulk, fond crazy vamp,
 Daft buxom jonquil, zephyr's gawky vice?
-Guy fed by work, quiz Jove's xanthic lamp--
+Guy fed by work, quiz Jove's xanthic lamp --
 Zow! Qualms by deja vu gyp fox-kin thrice.
 		-- Lazy Dog
 %
@@ -4565,7 +4573,7 @@ let him lie there all night."
 	"Don't worry about that.  They have a guard station in front of the
 White House that's open 24 hours a day.  The guards would recognize Colson...
 and by that time of course his wife would have called the cops and reported
-that a bunch of thugs had kidnaped him."
+that a bunch of thugs had kidnapped him."
 	"Wouldn't it be a little kinder if you drove about four more blocks
 and stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, 'Would you mind going
 around to the front of the White House?  There's a naked man lying outside
@@ -4574,7 +4582,7 @@ in the street, bleeding to death...'"
 	"It would be quite a story for the newspapers, wouldn't it?"
 	"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we'd see some headlines on that one."
 		-- Hunter S. Thompson, talking to R. Steadman on C. Colson,
-		ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame.
+		   ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame.
 %
 	"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet.
 The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily
@@ -4593,7 +4601,7 @@ an End-user of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."
 	"Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?"
 	"Piece of cake, Master?  Radial slice of baked confection ...
 coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero."
-		-- Dr. Who
+		-- "Doctor Who"
 %
 	"We're running out of adjectives to describe our situation.  We
 had crisis, then we went into chaos, and now what do we call this?" said
@@ -4691,7 +4699,7 @@ ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."
 	"Well, it's a highly technical, sensitive instrument we use in
 computer repair.  Being a layman, you probably can't grasp exactly what
 it does.  We call it a two-by-four."
-		-- Jeff MacNelley, "Shoe"
+		-- Jeff MacNelly, "Shoe"
 %
 	"When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the
 assembled bar patrons.  A loud general cheer went up.  After downing his
@@ -4860,14 +4868,14 @@ There, that ought to patch it.  Dist it out, wouldja?"
 	"The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as --"
 	"My blushes, Watson," Holmes murmured, in a deprecating voice.  "I
 was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'"
-		-- A. Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
+		-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
 %
 	"You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
 airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
 deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me
 when I was young!"
 	"Why, what did she tell you?"
-	"I don't know, I didn't listen."
+	"I don't know, I didn't listen!"
 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
 %
 	"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you
@@ -5076,7 +5084,7 @@ please communicate them by one of the following paths:
 
 	ARPA:  WastebasketSLMHQ.ARPA
 	UUCP:  [berkeley, seismo, harpo]!fubar!thekid!slmhq!wastebasket
- 	Non-network sites:  Federal Express to:
+	Non-network sites:  Federal Express to:
 		Wastebasket
 		Room NE43-926
 		Copernicus, The Moon, 12345-6789
@@ -5223,7 +5231,7 @@ III. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation
  8.  Babes in Boyland
  9.  Santa's Magic Lap
 10.  Hot Buttered Elves
-		-- David Letterman's "Top Ten Christmas Movies in Times
+		-- David Letterman, "Top Ten Christmas Movies in Times
 		   Square"
 %
 ... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you
@@ -5337,7 +5345,7 @@ other's private parts.
 ... computer hardware progress is so fast.  No other technology since
 civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price
 gain in 30 years.
-		-- Fred Brooks
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
 %
 ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *_d_i_d* quote anybody in this
 business, it probably would be gibberish.
@@ -5350,8 +5358,6 @@ introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
 yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
 		-- Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"
 %
- Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
-%
 <<<<< EVACUATION ROUTE <<<<<
 %
 ... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter.
@@ -5440,14 +5446,14 @@ legally ... impeccable!
 -- Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be well advised
 	to refrain from catapulting projectiles.
 -- Neophyte's serendipity.
--- Exclusive dedication to necessitious chores without interludes of hedonistic
+-- Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic
 	diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.
 -- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no congeries
 	of small, green bryophytic plant.
 -- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escalation
 	of a lucrative nature.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of fracturing
-	osseous structure, but appelations will eternally remain innocuous.
+	osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.
 %
 ** MAXIMUM TERMINALS ACTIVE.  TRY AGAIN LATER **
 %
@@ -5492,7 +5498,7 @@ their C programs.
 		-- Robert Firth
 %
 ... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce
-Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm.  One
+Connell, Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm.  One
 thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition.  If
 somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, puts it
 on his legal stationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what
@@ -5519,7 +5525,7 @@ awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
 	galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
 %
 ... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those
-who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
+who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
 and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious
 and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
 		-- Voltarine de Cleyre
@@ -5596,13 +5602,13 @@ cleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlittledogTototoo ...
 %
 ... this is an awesome sight.  The entire rebel resistance buried under six
 million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."
-		-- The Firesign Theater
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 ... though his invention worked superbly -- his theory was a crock of sewage
 from beginning to end.
 		-- Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"
 %
- U	X
+ U       X
 e dUdX, e dX, cosine, secant, tangent, sine, 3.14159...
 %
 * UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories.
@@ -5647,7 +5653,7 @@ into doubt.
 %
 ... when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer
 has been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.
-		-- Fred Brooks
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
 %
 ... which reminds me of the Carrot family: Ma Carrot, Pa Carrot, and Baby
 Carrot.  One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic.  They all
@@ -5708,20 +5714,20 @@ QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.
 10. The city does not employ so called "Wallet Inspectors".
 		-- David Letterman, "Top Ten New York City Pedestrian Tips"
 %
-[1] Alexander the Great was a great general.
-[2] Great generals are forewarned.
-[3] Forewarned is forearmed.
-[4] Four is an even number.
-[5] Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
-[6] The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
+(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
+(2) Great generals are forewarned.
+(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
+(4) Four is an even number.
+(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
+(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
 	Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.
 %
-[1] Alexander the Great was a great general.
-[2] Great generals are forewarned.
-[3] Forewarned is forearmed.
-[4] Four is an even number.
-[5] Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
-[6] The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
+(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
+(2) Great generals are forewarned.
+(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
+(4) Four is an even number.
+(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
+(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
 	Therefore, all horses are black.
 %
 1. Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.
@@ -5792,7 +5798,7 @@ you have to (always catch the buyer hungry and always make him wait).
  2. I, David Letterman, will never rent out my farm again.
  1. We are stardust.  We are golden.  We are going to look really stupid to
 	future generations.
-		-- David Letterman, Top Ten Lessons of Woodstock
+		-- David Letterman, "Top Ten Lessons of Woodstock"
 %
 10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman:
 
@@ -5801,8 +5807,8 @@ you have to (always catch the buyer hungry and always make him wait).
  3. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
  4. A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of
 	other beers on the side.
- 5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of
-	"doberperson".
+ 5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "Doberman" instead of
+	"Doberperson."
  6. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian
 	folk music on yer fave radio station.
  7. A beer understands why The Three Stooges are funny.
@@ -5820,7 +5826,7 @@ FF buckets of bits on the bus
 FF buckets of bits on the bus
 FF buckets of bits
 Take one down, short it to ground
-FE buckets of bits on the bus...
+FE buckets of bits on the bus
 
 ad infinitum...
 %
@@ -5932,13 +5938,13 @@ It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!
 	What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what
 office did he later hold?
 %
-3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie
+3 syncs represent the trinity -- init, the child and the eternal zombie
 process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
 traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find
 ourselves in.
 		-- Jordan K. Hubbard
 %
-$3,000,000.
+$3,000,000
 %
 355/113 --
 	Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
@@ -6050,7 +6056,7 @@ A beautiful woman is a blessing from Heaven, but a good cigar is a smoke.
 		-- Kipling
 %
 A beautiful woman is a picture which drives all beholders nobly mad.
-		-- Emerson
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 %
 A beer delayed is a beer denied.
 %
@@ -6067,7 +6073,7 @@ A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
 A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury.
 %
 A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on
-a photo-safari in Africa.  As they're driving along the savanna in their
+a photo-safari in Africa.  As they're driving along the savannah in their
 jeep, they stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.
 
 The biologist: "Look!  A herd of zebras!  And there's a white zebra!
@@ -6203,7 +6209,7 @@ invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
 and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
 asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
 between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
-string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
+string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
 was enlightened.
 
 From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after
@@ -6261,9 +6267,10 @@ A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
 %
 A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity.
 %
-A classic is something that everyone wants to have read
+A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
 and nobody wants to read.
-		-- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature"
+		-- Mark Twain quoting Professor Winchester,
+		   "The Disappearance of Literature"
 %
 A clever prophet makes sure of the event first.
 %
@@ -6438,7 +6445,7 @@ damned things is ample.
 A couch is as good as a chair.
 %
 A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the
 beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.  Immediately,
@@ -6535,7 +6542,7 @@ A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember
 your birthday when you never look any older?"
 %
 A diplomat's life consists of three things: protocol, Geritol, and alcohol.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office.  "Was it true," the woman
 inquired, "that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest
@@ -6544,7 +6551,7 @@ of her life?"
 the woman proceeded bravely on.  "Well, I'm wondering, then, how serious my
 condition is.  This prescription is marked `NO REFILLS'".
 %
-A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano.
+A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano.
 %
 A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests.  "I have
 some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news."  The bad news is
@@ -6708,7 +6715,7 @@ dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension.
 		-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
 %
 A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 A freelancer is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
 		-- Robert Benchley
@@ -6728,11 +6735,11 @@ lawyers more than he hates his wife.
 A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
 %
 A full belly makes a dull brain.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 
 		[and the local candy machine man.  Ed]
 %
-A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other
+A "full" life in my experience is usually full only of other
 people's demands.
 %
 A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
@@ -6782,7 +6789,7 @@ A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
 A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
 A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
 But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *_t_h_a_t _h_a_d _t_o _m_e_a_n _s_o_m_e_t_h_i_n_g*.
-		-- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
+		-- S. Morgenstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
 %
 A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
 		-- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"
@@ -6847,7 +6854,7 @@ then asks the backhoe operator for directions.
 A GOOD WAY TO THREATEN somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.  Then you
 call the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone.  "Hear that?" you say.
 "That's dynamite, baby."
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to
 you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to
@@ -6867,7 +6874,7 @@ to take it all away.
 A grammarian's life is always intense.
 %
 A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 A great many people think they are thinking
 when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
@@ -6883,7 +6890,7 @@ indicating two directions at once.  Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the
 bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled
 with disapproval and potato chip crumbs.  In the shadow under the green visor
 of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down
-upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department
+upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D. H. Holmes department
 store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress.  Several
 of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be
 properly considered offenses against taste and decency.  Possession of
@@ -6981,19 +6988,19 @@ Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?
 		-- Tom Galloway
 %
 A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
-C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
+C is for Clara who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
 E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
 G is for George, smothered under a rug, H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
 I is for Ida who drowned in the lake, J is for James who took lye, by mistake.
 K is for Kate who was struck with an axe, L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
-M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of ennui.
+M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Neville who died of ennui.
 O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
-Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
-S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
+Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
+S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titus who flew into bits.
 U is for Una who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
-W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
-Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.
-		-- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"
+W is for Winnie, embedded in ice, X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
+Y is for Yorick whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
+		-- Edward Gorey, "The Gashlycrumb Tinies"
 %
 A is for Apple.
 		-- Hester Pryne
@@ -7077,7 +7084,7 @@ The lady, indignant, removed her ear.
 %
 A language that doesn't affect the way you
 think about programming is not worth knowing.
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 A language that doesn't have everything is
 actually easier to program in than some that do.
@@ -7138,7 +7145,7 @@ A lie in time saves nine.
 %
 A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of
 trouble.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
 %
@@ -7160,10 +7167,10 @@ And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
 %
 A LISP programmer knows the value of
 everything, but the cost of nothing.
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 A list is only as strong as its weakest link.
-		-- Don Knuth
+		-- Donald E. Knuth
 %
 A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.
 %
@@ -7171,7 +7178,7 @@ A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
 		-- C. E. Ayres
 %
 A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
-		-- H. H. Munro, "Saki"
+		-- H. H. Munroe a.k.a. Saki, "The Square Egg" (1924)
 %
 A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad
 right?"  And Santa says, "Yes, I do."  The little kid then asks, "And you
@@ -7185,7 +7192,7 @@ those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are
 the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers.  Consider Unix,
 APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them
 with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
-		-- Fred Brooks
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
 %
 A little word of doubtful number,
 A foe to rest and peaceful slumber.
@@ -7208,7 +7215,7 @@ A lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I'm afraid of widths.
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking,
-and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.
+and so do I.  I believe everything positively stinks.
 		-- Lew Col
 %
 A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all.
@@ -7228,7 +7235,7 @@ a beautiful woman.  Somewhere, somebody's tired of her.
 %
 A man always remembers his first love with special
 tenderness, but after that begins to bunch them.
-		-- Mencken
+		-- H. L. Mencken
 %
 A man arrived home early to find his wife in the arms of his best friend,
 who swore how much they were in love.  To quiet the enraged husband, the
@@ -7288,7 +7295,7 @@ staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter.
 	"I'm sorry, sir, ties required."
 %
 A man is known by the company he organizes.
-		-- A. Bierce
+		-- Ambrose Bierce
 %
 A man is like a rusty wheel on a rusty cart,
 He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart.
@@ -7366,7 +7373,7 @@ Tell, me who is buried here?"
 	"My wife's first husband."
 %
 A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.
-		-- Soren Kierkegaard
+		-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
 %
 A man who carries a cat by its tail learns something he can learn
 in no other way.
@@ -7444,7 +7451,7 @@ but to protect the writer.
 %
 A method of solution is perfect if we can foresee from the start,
 and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
-		-- Leibnitz
+		-- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz
 %
 A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
 on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
@@ -7454,28 +7461,24 @@ along it at the water's edge.  Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
 heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
 around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
 direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match.  Then, the
-paper reports "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
+paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
 colony and overfly it.  Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
 fall over gently onto their backs.
-		-- Audobon Society Magazine
-
-2001-02-02, from http://news.bbc.co.uk:
-
-For five weeks, a team from the British Antarctic Survey (BAS)
-monitored 1,000 king penguins on the island of South Georgia as
-Lynx helicopters passed overhead.
-
-"Not one king penguin fell over when the helicopters came over,"
-said team leader Dr Richard Stone.
-
-"As the aircraft approached, the birds went quiet and stopped
+		-- Audubon Society Magazine
+
+[From the BBC, 2001-02-02:
+	For five weeks, a team from the British Antarctic Survey (BAS)
+monitored 1,000 king penguins on the island of South Georgia as Lynx
+helicopters passed overhead.
+	"Not one king penguin fell over when the helicopters came over,"
+said team leader Dr. Richard Stone.
+	"As the aircraft approached, the birds went quiet and stopped
 calling to each other, and adolescent birds that were not associated
 with nests began walking away from the noise. Pure animal instinct,
 really."
-
-The conclusion, said Dr Stone, is that flights over 305 metres
-(1,000 feet) caused "only minor and transitory ecological effects"
-on king penguins.
+	The conclusion, said Dr. Stone, is that flights over 305 metres
+(1,000 feet) caused "only minor and transitory ecological effects" on
+king penguins.]
 %
 A mighty creature is the germ,
 Though smaller than the pachyderm.
@@ -7613,7 +7616,7 @@ A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
 %
 A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
 "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-		-- Mahatma Ghandi
+		-- Mahatma Gandhi
 %
 A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a question.
 
@@ -7684,12 +7687,12 @@ A person who has something looks at all there is and wants all the rest.
 %
 A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well
 schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.
-		-- Donald Knuth
+		-- Donald E. Knuth
 %
 A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.
 		-- Elbert Hubbard
 %
-A physicist is an atoms way of knowing about atoms.
+A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
 		-- George Wald
 %
 A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.  One of the men
@@ -7756,7 +7759,7 @@ paycheck?"
 %
 A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom,
 but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.
-		-- Jean Paul Sartre
+		-- Jean-Paul Sartre
 %
 A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest.
 		-- Walt Kelly
@@ -7764,7 +7767,7 @@ A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest.
 A pound of salt will not sweeten a single cup of tea.
 %
 A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!
-		-- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Summatra"
+		-- The Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Sumatra"
 %
 A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality.
 Bastinado is about right.  For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling.
@@ -7777,7 +7780,7 @@ A prediction is worth twenty explanations.
 A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your
 last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something
 of yours to press against my heart.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything.
 %
@@ -7831,7 +7834,7 @@ when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.
 %
 A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to
 drink with -- even if he drank.
-		-- Mencken
+		-- H. L. Mencken
 %
 A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a
 watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed. As he
@@ -8019,7 +8022,7 @@ die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
 %
 A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from
 the vexation of thinking.
-		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1831
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Journals" (1831)
 %
 A sense of desolation and uncertainty, of futility, of the baselessness
 of aspirations, of the vanity of endeavor, and a thirst for a life giving
@@ -8197,7 +8200,7 @@ Lord of the Rings LITE(tm)
 	Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.
 
 Hamlet LITE(tm)
-	-- by Wm. Shakespeare
+	-- by William Shakespeare
 
 	A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy
 	girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age.
@@ -8210,7 +8213,7 @@ A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
 	lady who knits.
 
 Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-	-- by Fyodor Dostoevski
+	-- by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
 
 	A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
 	feels guilty and apologizes.
@@ -8235,7 +8238,7 @@ of the Alamo, commented, "I'll bet you never had anyone that brave around
 help?"
 %
 A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
-		-- Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W.H."
+		-- Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W. H."
 %
 A timely marriage: one made before your children start nagging you about it.
 		-- Diane Duane
@@ -8273,7 +8276,7 @@ drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art.
 		-- Shaw
 %
 A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
 %
@@ -8394,7 +8397,7 @@ she follows.
 %
 A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure,
 it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender, sweet,
 and stupid.
@@ -8505,8 +8508,6 @@ A: "A symphony is a very complex musical form, perhaps you should begin with
 Q: "But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old."
 A: "But I never asked anybody how."
 %
-A.A.A.A.A.: An organization for drunks who drive.
-%
 AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
 You brute!  Knock before entering a ladies room!
 %
@@ -8561,7 +8562,7 @@ Above all things, reverence yourself.
 %
 Abraham Lincoln didn't die in vain.  He died in Washington, D.C.
 %
-Abscond, v:
+Abscond, v.:
 	To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside of a dying relative
 	and miss the return train.
 %
@@ -8646,7 +8647,7 @@ religion; rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of
 Western science.
 		-- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
 %
-Accident:
+Accident, n.:
 	A condition in which presence of mind is good,
 	but absence of body is better.
 		-- Foolish Dictionary
@@ -8712,7 +8713,7 @@ Accordion, n.:
 	A bagpipe with pleats.
 %
 Accuracy, n.:
-	The vice of being right
+	The vice of being right.
 %
 Acid -- better living through chemistry.
 %
@@ -8739,7 +8740,7 @@ Edward G. Robinson	Emmanual Goldenburg
 Gene Wilder		Gerald Silberman
 John Wayne		Marion Morrison
 Kirk Douglas		Issur Danielovitch
-Richard Burton		Richard Jenkins Jr.
+Richard Burton		Richard Jenkins, Jr.
 Roy Rogers		Leonard Slye
 Woody Allen		Allen Stewart Konigsberg
 %
@@ -8790,16 +8791,16 @@ Adding features does not necessarily increase
 functionality -- it just makes the manuals thicker.
 %
 Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
-		-- F. Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 
 Whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty by
 close application thereto, it is worse execute by two persons and
 scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.
-		-- George Washington, 1732-1799
+		-- George Washington (1732-1799)
 %
 Adding sound to movies would be like
 putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.
-		-- actress Mary Pickford, 1925
+		-- Mary Pickford, actress, 1925
 %
 Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done
 something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a
@@ -8821,7 +8822,7 @@ Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
 like you ...
 		-- Gilda Radner
 %
-Adore, v:
+Adore, v.:
 	To venerate expectantly.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
@@ -8862,7 +8863,7 @@ African violet:		Such worth is rare
 Apple blossom:		Preference
 Bachelor's button:	Celibacy
 Bay leaf:		I change but in death
-Camelia:		Reflected loveliness
+Camellia:		Reflected loveliness
 Chrysanthemum, red:	I love
 Chrysanthemum, white:	Truth
 Chrysanthemum, other:	Slighted love
@@ -9066,7 +9067,7 @@ In works of labour or of skill		In books, or work, or healthful play,
 I would be busy too;			Let my first years be passed,
 For Satan finds some mischief still	That I may give for every day
 For idle hands to do.			Some good account at last.
-		-- Isaac Watts, 1674-1748
+		-- Isaac Watts (1674-1748)
 %
 Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain.
 		-- Friedrich von Schiller, "The Maid of Orleans", III, 6
@@ -9193,7 +9194,7 @@ ALBRECHT'S LAW:
 %
 Alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions.
 The surest poison is time.
-		-- Emerson, "Society and Solitude"
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Society and Solitude"
 %
 Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
 		-- George Bernard Shaw
@@ -9206,7 +9207,7 @@ Alden's Laws:
 %
 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
 Aleph-null bottles of beer,
-You take one down, and pass it around,
+	You take one down, and pass it around,
 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.
 %
 Alex Haley was adopted!
@@ -9263,7 +9264,7 @@ than others.
 		-- Alan Truscott
 %
 All business is based on the mutual trust of one of the parts.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 All constants are variables.
 %
@@ -9276,7 +9277,7 @@ All Finagle Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing
 without thinking.
 %
 All flesh is grass.
-		-- Isaiah
+		-- Isaiah 40:6
 Smoke a friend today.
 %
 All generalizations are false, including this one.
@@ -9287,7 +9288,7 @@ barely presentable.
 		-- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life"
 %
 All Gods were immortal.
-		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+		-- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"
 %
 All great discoveries are made by mistake.
 		-- Young
@@ -9352,13 +9353,13 @@ that said there were eleven countries, in the world this is I think,
 that have queens as sovereign rulers.  That's probably my best shot.
 %
 All kings is mostly rapscallions.
-		--Mark Twain
+		-- Mark Twain
 %
 All laws are simulations of reality.
 		-- John C. Lilly
 %
 All life evolves by the differential survival of replicating entities.
-		-- Dawkins
+		-- Richard Dawkins
 %
 All men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are
 Socrates.
@@ -9368,7 +9369,7 @@ All men have the right to wait in line.
 %
 All men know the utility of useful things;
 but they do not know the utility of futility.
-		-- Chuang-tzu
+		-- Chuang Tzu
 %
 All men profess honesty as long as they can.
 To believe all men honest would be folly.
@@ -9411,7 +9412,7 @@ of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
-		-- The Book of Bokonon / Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "The Book of Bokonon"
 %
 All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a
 Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks,
@@ -9447,7 +9448,7 @@ goal.  Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,
 and the young are always optimists.  But however the selection process works,
 the result is indisputable:  "This time it will surely run," or "I just found
 the last bug."
-		-- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
 %
@@ -9558,7 +9559,7 @@ All things are possible, except for skiing through a revolving door.
 All things being equal, you are bound to lose.
 %
 All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice"
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice"
 %
 All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money,
 it's for fun.  Money's just the way we keep score.
@@ -9664,9 +9665,9 @@ apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin, and other chores and duties
 of the professional gamekeeper.  Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade
 through many pages of extraneous material in order to discover and savour
 those sidelights on the management of a midland shooting estate, and in this
-reviewer's opinion the book cannot take the place of J.R. Miller's "Practical
+reviewer's opinion the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's "Practical
 Gamekeeping."
-		-- Ed Zern, "Field and Stream", Nov., 1959
+		-- Ed Zern, "Field and Stream" (Nov. 1959)
 %
 Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
 %
@@ -9733,13 +9734,13 @@ and the scum rises to the top.
 		-- Utah Phillips
 %
 America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.
-		 -- President John F. Kennedy
+		-- President John F. Kennedy
 
 The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not
 be just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but
 living, honored rules of conduct amongst us...I'm glad the American Civil
 Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.
-		 -- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 
 The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that
 from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
@@ -9803,7 +9804,7 @@ AMOEBIT:
 	and divide at the same time.
 %
 Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.
-		-- St. John Chrysostom, 304-407
+		-- St. John Chrysostom (304-407)
 %
 Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
 %
@@ -9814,7 +9815,7 @@ An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.
 		-- Marlon Brando
 %
 An Ada exception is when a routine gets
-in trouble and says 'Beam me up, Scotty'.
+in trouble and says "Beam me up, Scotty."
 %
 An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.
 %
@@ -9831,11 +9832,11 @@ An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
 		-- Dylan Thomas
 %
 An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
-		-- D. E. Knuth
+		-- Donald E. Knuth
 %
 An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad
 to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
-		-- Sir Henry Wotton, 1568-1639
+		-- Sir Henry Wotton (1568-1639)
 %
 An amendment to a motion may be amended, but an amendment to an amendment
 to a motion may not be amended.  However, a substitute for an amendment to
@@ -9932,7 +9933,7 @@ An economist is a man who would marry
 Farrah Fawcett-Majors for her money.
 %
 An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
 %
@@ -10266,7 +10267,7 @@ The venerable XGP,			Has made the Ten dumb,
 But his slow artistic hand,		Without you, Dover,
 Lacks your clean velocity.		We're system untounged-
 
-Theses and papers 			DRAW Plots and TEXage
+Theses and papers			DRAW Plots and TEXage
 And code in a queue			Have been biding their time,
 Dover, oh Dover,			With LISP code and programs,
 We've been waiting for you.		And this crufty rhyme.
@@ -10444,7 +10445,7 @@ cracking secret NATO codes and editing propaganda for your own people all
 at the same time with the other! (Well, you really can't, but the Americans
 think you can, and that's the point, right?)
 %
-Anoint, v:
+Anoint, v.:
 	To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently
 	slippery.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
@@ -10456,7 +10457,7 @@ Another day, another dollar.
 %
 Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build
 and nobody wants to do maintenance.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Hocus Pocus"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Hocus Pocus"
 %
 Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
 %
@@ -10472,7 +10473,7 @@ Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.
 		-- Pyrrhus
 %
 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
-		-- Proverbs, 26:5
+		-- Proverbs 26:5
 %
 Anthony's Law of Force:
 	Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
@@ -10578,7 +10579,7 @@ requires a heroism which is transcendent.
 		-- Henry Ward Beecher
 %
 Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
-		-- Leo Rosten, on W.C. Fields
+		-- Leo Rosten, on W. C. Fields
 %
 Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be
 liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall
@@ -10674,7 +10675,6 @@ Anyone stupid enough to be caught by the police is probably guilty.
 %
 Anyone taking offence at fortune(s) is desperately lacking beer, in my
 extremely humble opinion.
-
 		-- Philip Paeps
 %
 Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.  At best he
@@ -10683,7 +10683,7 @@ make messes in the house.
 		-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
 %
 Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
-		-- R. Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence.
 		-- Tasnim Aslam, Spokesman for Pakistani Foreign Ministry
@@ -10767,9 +10767,9 @@ APHASIA:
 	Loss of speech in social scientists when asked
 	at parties, "But of what use is your research?"
 %
-aphorism, n.:
+Aphorism, n.:
 	A concise, clever statement.
-afterism, n.:
+Afterism, n.:
 	A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
 		-- James Alexander Thom
 %
@@ -10782,7 +10782,7 @@ of coding bums.
 %
 APL is a natural extension of assembler language programming;
 ...and is best for educational purposes.
-		-- A. Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs
 in APL, but I can't read any of them.
@@ -10804,7 +10804,7 @@ April is the cruelest month...
 Aquadextrous, adj.:
 	Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub
 	faucet on and off with your toes.
-		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
 %
 AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
 	You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.
@@ -10971,7 +10971,7 @@ ARITHMETIC:
 Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
 		-- Mickey Mouse
 %
-ARMADILLO:
+Armadillo, v.:
 	To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
 %
 Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
@@ -10987,9 +10987,9 @@ Armstrong's Collection Law:
 	it is surely made out to someone else.
 %
 Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
-	1.) If it should exist, it doesn't.
-	2.) If it does exist, it's out of date.
-	3.) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the
+	(1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
+	(2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
+	(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the
 	    first two laws.
 %
 Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to
@@ -11031,14 +11031,14 @@ Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.
 		-- Chazal
 %
 "Art" is the ability to separate the significant from the insignificant.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Art is the tree of life.  Science is the tree of death.
 %
 Arthur's Laws of Love:
-	1.  People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
+	(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
 	    remind them of someone else.
-	2.  The love letter you finally got the courage to send will
+	(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will
 	    be delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool
 	    of yourself in person.
 %
@@ -11106,7 +11106,7 @@ As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
 		-- Weisert
 %
 As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.
-		-- Shakespeare, "King Lear"
+		-- William Shakespeare, "King Lear"
 %
 As for the women, though we scorn and flout 'em,
 We may live with, but cannot live without 'em.
@@ -11198,7 +11198,7 @@ industries are secure.  We hear about constitutional rights, free speech
 and the free press.  Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That
 man is a Red, that man is a Communist".  You never hear a real American
 talk like that.
-		-- Frank Hague, 1896-1956
+		-- Frank Hague (1896-1956)
 %
 As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
 %
@@ -11331,7 +11331,7 @@ or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
 version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
 component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
 efficient test cases will usually be available.
-		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
 is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
@@ -11395,7 +11395,7 @@ Do not give up to the great distance:
 It's by going that you will reach your aim.
 Be not discouraged by human frailty:
 You will overcome it if you try to.
-		-- Chinggis (Genghis) Khan 
+		-- Chinggis (Genghis) Khan
 %
 ASCII:
 	The control code for all beginning programmers and those who would
@@ -11421,7 +11421,7 @@ will pay only the station-to-station rate.
 %
 Ask not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.
 %
-Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls...
+Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls ...
 if thou art in the bathtub, it tolls for thee.
 %
 Ask not what's inside your head, but what your head's inside of.
@@ -11611,8 +11611,7 @@ Atlee is a very modest man.  And with reason.
 %
 Attempting to stop MySQL by buying companies around it is like trying
 to kill a dolphin by drinking the ocean.
-
-		-- M�rten Mickos
+		-- Marten Mickos
 %
 Attorney General Edwin Meese III explained why the Supreme Court's Miranda
 decision (holding that subjects have a right to remain silent and have a
@@ -11621,13 +11620,13 @@ suspects who are innocent of a crime.  That's contradictory.  If a person
 is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect."
 		-- U.S. News and World Report, 10/14/85
 %
-AUCTION:
+Auction, n.:
 	A gyp off the old block.
 %
 Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.
 		-- G. J. Danton
 %
-audiophile, n:
+Audiophile, n.:
 	Someone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.
 %
 Auribus teneo lupum.
@@ -11815,7 +11814,7 @@ BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of "Scientific Creationism."
 BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.
 		-- Seymour Papert
 %
-Basic, n.:
+BASIC, n.:
 	A programming language.  Related to certain social diseases in
 	that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
 %
@@ -11923,10 +11922,12 @@ Be valiant, but not too venturous.
 Let thy attire be comely, but not costly.
 		-- John Lyly
 %
-beachhead:
-In marketing: a small piece of a market over which you gain control and
-from which you go out to control other pieces of the market.
-In war: where soldiers die.
+Beachhead, n.:
+	In marketing: A small piece of a market over which you gain
+	control and from which you go out to control other pieces of
+	the market.
+
+	In war: Where soldiers die.
 %
 Beam me up, Scotty!
 %
@@ -12072,9 +12073,9 @@ seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."
 Being conservative has never been regarded as old-fashioned.  But
 if you fight for a sensible step in the right direction which others
 has deserted you will be branded "reactionary".
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
-"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!"  <huff, huff>
+"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!" <huff, huff>
 %
 Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real
 disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
@@ -12098,14 +12099,14 @@ standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
 %
 Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
 %
-belief, n:
+Belief, n.:
 	Something you do not believe.
 %
 Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too
 impossibly bad.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
-Bell Labs Unix - Reach out and grep someone.
+Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
 %
 Ben, why didn't you tell me?
 		-- Luke Skywalker
@@ -12134,7 +12135,7 @@ none of his friends like him either.
 %
 Bernard was a young eighty-three, not a gomer, and able to talk.  He'd been
 transferred from MBH (Man's Best Hospital), the House's Rival.  Founded in
-Colonial times by the WASPs, the insemination fo MBH by non-WASPs had taken
+Colonial times by the WASPs, the insemination of MBH by non-WASPs had taken
 place only mid-twentieth century with the token multidextrous Oriental
 surgeon, and finally, with the token red-hot internal-medicine Jew.  Yet,
 MBH was still Brooks Brothers, while the House was still the Garment District.
@@ -12205,7 +12206,7 @@ clearly visible on one of the leading characters.
 Best of all is never to have been born.
 Second best is to die soon.
 %
-beta test, v:
+Beta test, v.:
 	To voluntarily entrust one's data, one's livelihood and one's
 	sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.
 	In earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.
@@ -12236,7 +12237,7 @@ ncheck list
 ncheck list
 cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
 cat list | grep nice >giftlist
-santa claus <north pole > town
+santa claus <north pole >town
 
 who | grep sleeping
 who | grep awake
@@ -12303,7 +12304,7 @@ Beware of Bigfoot!
 %
 Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not
 tried it.
-		-- Donald Knuth
+		-- Donald E. Knuth
 %
 Beware of computerized fortune-tellers!
 %
@@ -12337,7 +12338,7 @@ Beware the new TTY code!
 %
 Beware the one behind you.
 %
-bi, n:
+Bi, n.:
 	When *everybody* thinks you're a pervert.
 %
 Bierman's Laws of Contracts:
@@ -12406,7 +12407,7 @@ time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend
 on the observer's movement in restaurants.
 		-- Douglas Adams, "Life, The Universe and Everything"
 %
-bit, n:
+Bit, n.:
 	A unit of measure applied to color.  Twenty-four-bit color
 	refers to expensive $3 color as opposed to the cheaper 25
 	cent, or two-bit, color that use to be available a few years
@@ -12462,7 +12463,7 @@ Blame Saint Andreas -- it's all his fault.
 %
 Blessed are the forgetful:  for they
 get the better even of their blunders.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
 %
@@ -12493,9 +12494,9 @@ abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
 Blinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.
 		-- David Nichols
 %
-BLISS is ignorance
+BLISS is ignorance.
 %
-Blithwapping, v:
+Blithwapping, v.:
 	Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the
 	wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.
 		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
@@ -12561,13 +12562,13 @@ Boren's Laws:
 	(2) When in trouble, delegate.
 	(3) When in doubt, mumble.
 %
-Boss, n:
+Boss, n.:
 	According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the
 	words "boss" and "botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss,
 	in addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an
 	ornamental stud."
 %
-Boston:
+Boston, n.:
 	An outdoor Betty Ford Clinic.
 %
 Boston, n.:
@@ -12610,10 +12611,10 @@ And get the maximum pleasure from a minimum of love.
 Boy, I sure wish that I could be in the
 'Advanced Systems Development' group!
 %
-Boy, life takes a long time to live
+Boy, life takes a long time to live.
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
-boy, n:
+Boy, n.:
 	A noise with dirt on it.
 %
 Boy, that crayon sure did hurt!
@@ -12637,7 +12638,7 @@ Everybody tends to drift toward Bozoness.  It has Oz in it.  They mean
 well.  They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes.  They
 like their comforts.  The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time,
 which is all the time.
-		-- Firesign Theatre, "If Bees Lived Inside Your Head"
+		-- The Firesign Theatre, "If Bees Lived Inside Your Head"
 %
 Brace yourselves.  We're about to try something that borders on the
 unique: an actually rather serious technical book which is not only
@@ -12661,14 +12662,14 @@ Brain, n.:
 	The apparatus with which we think that we think.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-Brain, v: [as in "to brain"]
+Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]:
 	To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source
 	of error in an opponent.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 brain-damaged, generalization of "Honeywell Brain Damage" (HBD), a
 theoretical disease invented to explain certain utter cretinisms in
-Multics, adj:
+Multics, adj.:
 	Obviously wrong; cretinous; demented.  There is an implication
 	that the person responsible must have suffered brain damage,
 	because he/she should have known better.  Calling something
@@ -12725,7 +12726,7 @@ Bride, n.:
 %
 Bridge ahead.  Pay troll.
 %
-briefcase, n:
+Briefcase, n.:
 	A trial where the jury gets together and forms a lynching party.
 %
 Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of
@@ -12777,14 +12778,14 @@ believe that if you sleep with your head under the pillow a fairy will come
 and take all your teeth.
 		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
 %
-broad-mindedness, n:
+Broad-mindedness, n.:
 	The result of flattening high-mindedness out.
 %
 Brogan's Constant:
 	People tend to congregate in the back
 	of the church and the front of the bus.
 %
-brokee, n:
+Brokee, n.:
 	Someone who buys stocks on the advice of a broker.
 %
 Brontosaurus Principle:
@@ -12801,7 +12802,7 @@ Brooke's Law:
 Brooks' Law:
 	Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
 %
-Brucify, v:
+Brucify, v.:
 	1: Kill by nailing onto style(9); "David O'Brien was brucified"
 	2: Annoy constantly by reminding of potential improvements
 	   [syn: {torment}, {rag}, {tantalize}, {bedevil}, {dun},
@@ -12842,7 +12843,7 @@ wrote the program.
 Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.
 		-- Ray Simard
 %
-Bug, n:
+Bug, n.:
 	An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect.
 	The activity of "debugging", or removing bugs from a program, ends
 	when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.
@@ -12859,7 +12860,7 @@ BULLWINKLE: "You just leave that to my pal.  He's the brains of the
 	    outfit."
 GENERAL:    "What does that make YOU?"
 BULLWINKLE: "What else?  An executive..."
-		-- Jay Ward
+		-- Jay Ward, "Rocky and Bullwinkle"
 %
 Bumper sticker:
 	All the parts falling off this car are
@@ -12868,7 +12869,7 @@ Bumper sticker:
 Bunker's Admonition:
 	You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.
 %
-Burbulation, v:
+Burbulation, v.:
 	The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in
 	an attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.
 		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
@@ -12878,14 +12879,14 @@ Bureau Termination, Law of:
 	the number of employees in that bureau will double within
 	12 months after the decision is made.
 %
-bureaucracy, n:
+Bureaucracy, n.:
 	A method for transforming energy into solid waste.
 %
 Bureaucrat, n.:
 	A person who cuts red tape sideways.
 		-- J. McCabe
 %
-bureaucrat, n:
+Bureaucrat, n.:
 	A politician who has tenure.
 %
 Burke's Postulates:
@@ -13045,7 +13046,7 @@ But you shall not escape my iambics.
 But you who live on dreams, you are better pleased with the sophistical
 reasoning and frauds of talkers about great and uncertain matters than
 those who speak of certain and natural matters, not of such lofty nature.
-		-- Leonardo Da Vinci, "The Codex on the Flight of Birds"
+		-- Leonardo da Vinci, "The Codex on the Flight of Birds"
 %
 Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
 Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn;
@@ -13062,7 +13063,7 @@ Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits.
 Be off, I say; go bug somebody new,
 Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.
 %
-buzzword, n:
+Buzzword, n.:
 	The fly in the ointment of computer literacy.
 %
 By doing just a little every day, you can
@@ -13082,7 +13083,7 @@ by practice, they get to be wide apart.
 By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.
 In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others
 as it is to invent.
-		-- R. Emerson
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 		-- Quoted from a fortune cookie program
 		(whose author claims, "Actually, stealing IS easier.")
 		[to which I reply, "You think it's easy for me to
@@ -13117,7 +13118,7 @@ By working faithfully eight hours a day,
 you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
 		-- Robert Frost
 %
-byob, v:
+BYOB, v.:
 	Believing Your Own Bull
 %
 Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
@@ -13148,7 +13149,7 @@ C makes it easy for you to shoot yourself in the foot.  C++ makes that
 harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
 		-- Bjarne Stroustrup
 %
-C, n:
+C, n.:
 	A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like
 	assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything
 	else.  It is either the best language available to the art today, or
@@ -13161,7 +13162,7 @@ Cabbage, n.:
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception.
-		-- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989
+		-- The Mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989
 %
 Cache:
 	A very expensive part of the memory system of a computer that no one
@@ -13395,7 +13396,7 @@ Did you ever have the measles, and, if so, how many?
 %
 Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543.
 %
-cerebral atrophy, n:
+Cerebral atrophy, n.:
 	The phenomena which occurs as brain cells become weak and sick, and
 impair the brain's performance.  An abundance of these "bad" cells can cause
 symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
@@ -13404,7 +13405,7 @@ everyday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort
 and the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become
 victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.
 
-cerebral darwinism, n:
+Cerebral darwinism, n.:
 	The theory that the effects of cerebral atrophy can be reversed
 through the purging action of heavy alcohol consumption.  Large amounts of
 alcohol cause many brain cells to perish due to oxygen deprivation.  Through
@@ -13415,7 +13416,7 @@ Thus, the devastating effects of cerebral atrophy are reversed, and academic
 performance actually increases beyond previous levels.
 %
 Cerebus:	I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
-Jaka:		Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
+Jaka:		Look, Cerebus -- Jaka has to tell you ... something
 Cerebus:	If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
 		out of it?
 Jaka:		Ugh!
@@ -13443,7 +13444,7 @@ nuts, as would but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts
 %
 Certainly the game is rigged.
 Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
-		-- Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"
 %
 Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
 But it's very funny --
@@ -13485,18 +13486,18 @@ a function that would continue to grow, but never reach unity.  This equation
 can be applied to charging capacitors, over-damped springs, and the human
 race in general.
 %
-character density, n.:
+Character density, n.:
 	The number of very weird people in the office.
 %
 Character is what you are in the dark!
 		-- Lord John Whorfin
 %
-CHARITY:
-	A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
-%
 Charity begins at home.
 		-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
 %
+Charity, n.:
+	A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
+%
 Charlie Brown:	Why was I put on this earth?
 Linus:		To make others happy.
 Charlie Brown:	Why were others put on this earth?
@@ -13513,7 +13514,7 @@ Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
 Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers...
 they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key!
 %
-checkuary, n:
+Checkuary, n.:
 	The thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year's Day and ends
 	when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
 %
@@ -13522,7 +13523,7 @@ Cheer Up!  Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
 Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality.
 		-- Clifton Fadiman, "Any Number Can Play"
 %
-Chef, n:
+Chef, n.:
 	Any cook who swears in French.
 %
 Cheit's Lament:
@@ -13767,7 +13768,7 @@ please?" it asked the bartender.
 "Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
 	"No, I'm a frayed knot."
 %
-clone, n:
+Clone, n.:
 	1. An exact duplicate, as in "our product is a clone of their
 	product."  2. A shoddy, spurious copy, as in "their product
 	is a clone of our product."
@@ -13992,7 +13993,7 @@ And that you'll be so glad to do,
 Because you'll be my POSSLQ.
 %
 Come, muse, let us sing of rats!
-		-- From a poem by James Grainger, 1721-1767
+		-- From a poem by James Grainger (1721-1767)
 %
 Come quickly, I am tasting stars!
 		-- Dom Perignon, upon discovering champagne
@@ -14012,7 +14013,7 @@ And pall the in the dunnest smoke of hell,
 That my keen knife see not the wound it makes,
 Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark,
 To cry `Hold, hold!'
-		-- Lady MacBeth
+		-- Lady Macbeth, "Macbeth"
 %
 Comedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public.
 %
@@ -14071,7 +14072,7 @@ Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
 %
 Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world.
 Everyone thinks he has enough.
-		-- Descartes, 1637
+		-- Rene Descartes, 1637
 %
 Commoner's three laws of ecology:
 	1) No action is without side-effects.
@@ -14112,7 +14113,7 @@ COMPLEX SYSTEM:
 COMPLIMENT:
 	When you say something to another which everyone knows isn't true.
 %
-compuberty, n:
+Compuberty, n.:
 	The uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a
 	computer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and
 	a sun4 is put online sharing files.
@@ -14171,7 +14172,7 @@ Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more
 than the estimate the job will cost.
 %
 Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-		-- LaRouchefoucauld
+		-- La Rochefoucauld
 %
 Concept, n.:
 	Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
@@ -14179,7 +14180,7 @@ Concept, n.:
 %
 Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed
 from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
-		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 Condense soup, not books!
 %
@@ -14200,7 +14201,7 @@ that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.
 %
 Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for
 the reputation.
-		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
+		-- Lord Thomas Robert Dewar
 %
 Confidant, confidante, n.:
 	One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided to himself by C.
@@ -14226,7 +14227,7 @@ Conformity is the refuge of the unimaginative.
 Confucius say too damn much!
 %
 Confucius say too much.
-		-- Recent Chinese Proverb
+		-- Recent Chinese proverb
 %
 Confusion will be my epitaph
 as I walk a cracked and broken path
@@ -14281,10 +14282,10 @@ Conjecture: All odd numbers are prime.
 	Engineer's Proof:
 		3 is prime.  5 is prime.  7 is prime.  9 is prime.
 		11 is prime.  13 is prime ...
-	Computer Scientists's Proof:
+	Computer Scientist's Proof:
 		3 is prime.  3 is prime.  3 is prime.  3 is prime...
 %
-Connector Conspiracy, n:
+Connector Conspiracy, n.:
 	[probably came into prominence with the appearance of the
 KL-10, none of whose connectors match anything else] The tendency of
 manufacturers (or, by extension, programmers or purveyors of anything)
@@ -14299,7 +14300,7 @@ governing that is hard.
 		-- Chinggis (Genghis) Khan
 %
 Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
 		-- H. L. Mencken
@@ -14380,7 +14381,9 @@ seduction, observable even in the animal kingdom.
 %
 "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and
 if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic!"
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern
 technology.  Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat.
@@ -14417,7 +14420,7 @@ Coronation, n.:
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 Correction does much, but encouragement does more.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 Corrupt, adj.:
 	In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.
@@ -14457,7 +14460,7 @@ Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.
 %
 Courage is your greatest present need.
 %
-court, n.:
+Court, n.:
 	A place where they dispense with justice.
 		-- Arthur Train
 %
@@ -14556,7 +14559,7 @@ CURSOR:
 	One whose program will not run.
 		-- Robb Russon
 %
-cursor address, n:
+Cursor address, n.:
 	"Hello, cursor!"
 		-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
 %
@@ -14599,12 +14602,9 @@ Cutler Webster's Law:
 %
 Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity.  It
 eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the
-business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."
+business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.
 		-- Johnny Hart
 %
-CYNIC:
-	Experienced.
-%
 Cynic, n.:
 	A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not
 	as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the Scythians of
@@ -14612,6 +14612,9 @@ Cynic, n.:
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 Cynic, n.:
+	Experienced.
+%
+Cynic, n.:
 	One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced
 	eye.
 %
@@ -15049,7 +15052,7 @@ claim "I've got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.
 DEFAULT:
 	The hardware's, of course.
 %
-default, n.:
+Default, n.:
 	[Possibly from Black English "De fault wid dis system is you,
 mon."] The vain attempt to avoid errors by inactivity.  "Nothing will
 come of nothing: speak again." -- King Lear.
@@ -15102,10 +15105,10 @@ Delay is preferable to error.
 		-- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 Delay not, Caesar.  Read it instantly.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1
 
 Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1
 
 	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
 	 referring to I/O system services.]
@@ -15137,7 +15140,7 @@ Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
 Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
 skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
 to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
-overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
+overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
 apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
 as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
 steroid-free fitness center.
@@ -15154,7 +15157,7 @@ Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.
 		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 %
 Democracy can only be measured on the existence of an opposition.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than
 we deserve.
@@ -15173,7 +15176,7 @@ don't think.
 %
 Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who
 will get the blame.
-		-- Laurence J. Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 Democracy is also a form of worship.
 It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
@@ -15197,7 +15200,7 @@ Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other
 forms that have been tried from time to time.
 		-- Winston Churchill
 %
-Democracy, n:
+Democracy, n.:
 	A government of the masses.  Authority derived through mass meeting
 or any other form of direct expression.  Results in mobocracy.  Attitude
 toward property is communistic... negating property rights.  Attitude toward
@@ -15208,7 +15211,7 @@ agitation, discontent, anarchy.
 		-- U. S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932),
 		   since withdrawn.
 %
-Democracy, n:
+Democracy, n.:
 	In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
 		-- Gerald Barry
 
@@ -15242,8 +15245,8 @@ Dentist, n.:
 	pulls coins out of one's pockets.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-Denver, n:
-	A smallish city located just below the `O' in Colorado.
+Denver, n.:
+	A smallish city located just below the "O" in Colorado.
 %
 Depart in pieces, i.e., split.
 %
@@ -15260,7 +15263,7 @@ Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
 Der Horizont vieler Menschen ist ein Kreis mit Radius Null -
 und das nennen sie ihren Standpunkt.
 %
-design, v:
+Design, v.:
 	What you regret not doing later on.
 %
 Desist from enumerating your fowl
@@ -15445,7 +15448,7 @@ Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
 Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
 		-- Balfour
 %
-diplomacy, n:
+Diplomacy, n.:
 	Lying in state.
 %
 Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics:
@@ -15455,7 +15458,7 @@ Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics:
 	3: Don't get mad, get even.
 		-- Sen. Everett Dirksen
 %
-disbar, n:
+Disbar, n.:
 	As distinguished from some other bar.
 %
 Disc space -- the final frontier!
@@ -15551,7 +15554,7 @@ Their tastes may not be the same.
 Do not drink coffee in early A.M.  It will keep you awake until noon.
 %
 Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.
 %
@@ -15658,7 +15661,7 @@ between Nixon and the White House.
 		-- John F. Kennedy, in 1960
 %
 Do you suffer painful elimination?
-		-- Don Knuth, "Structured Programming with Gotos"
+		-- Donald E. Knuth, "Structured Programming with Gotos"
 
 Do you suffer painful recrimination?
 		-- Nancy Boxer, "Structured Programming with Come-froms"
@@ -15683,7 +15686,7 @@ your business success?  Here's a telling test: Look in the mirror.  Is
 your skin smooth and lovely, your hair gleaming, your make-up glamorous?
 Are you slender enough for your height?  Do you stand erect, confident?
 Yes?  Then you are on your way to success as a woman.
-		-- Ladies Home Journal, 1947 advertisement
+		-- Ladies' Home Journal, 1947 advertisement
 %
 Do your otters do the shimmy?
 Do they like to shake their tails?
@@ -15728,12 +15731,12 @@ Doing gets it done.
 Don
 Ameche:	I didn't know you had a cousin Penelope, Bill!
 	Was she pretty?
-W.C.:	Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of
+W. C.:	Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of
 	bad road.  She had so many gold teeth, Don, she use to have
 	to sleep with her head in a safe.  She died in Bolivia.
 Don:	Oh Bill, it must be hard to lose a relative.
-W.C.:	It's almost impossible.
-		-- W.C. Fields, "The Further Adventures of Larson E.
+W. C.:	It's almost impossible.
+		-- W. C. Fields, "The Further Adventures of Larson E.
 		   Whipsnade and other Tarradiddles"
 %
 Don't abandon hope: your Tom Mix decoder ring arrives tomorrow.
@@ -15773,7 +15776,7 @@ with those that take care of themselves.
 Don't cook tonight -- starve a rat today!
 %
 Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 Don't despair; your ideal lover is waiting for you around the corner.
 %
@@ -15888,12 +15891,12 @@ Your brains are in it.
 Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with everything.
 %
 Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
-		-- Scottish Proverb
+		-- Scottish proverb
 %
 Don't mind him; politicians always sound like that.
 %
 Don't patch bad code -- rewrite it.
-		-- "The Elements of Programming Style", Kernighan and Plauger
+		-- Kernighan and Plauger, "The Elements of Programming Style"
 %
 Don't plan any hasty moves.
 You'll be evicted soon anyway.
@@ -15922,7 +15925,7 @@ Don't say "yes" until I finish talking.
 Don't shoot until you're sure you both aren't on the same side.
 %
 Don't shout for help at night.  You might wake your neighbors.
-		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+		-- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"
 %
 Don't smoke the next cigarette.  Repeat.
 %
@@ -16047,7 +16050,7 @@ Double Bucky, I'd like a whole word of you!
 		   be added to terminal codes on 36-bit machines for use
 		   by screen editors.  [to the tune of "Rubber Ducky"]
 %
-double-blind Experiment, n:
+Double-blind Experiment, n.:
 	An experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is
 fooling both the subject and the lab assistant.  Often accompanied
 by a strong belief in the tooth fairy.
@@ -16172,7 +16175,7 @@ DROP THE DAMN BEAR!!!
 Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
 		-- The Adventurer
 %
-drug, n:
+Drug, n.:
 	A substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific
 	paper.
 %
@@ -16232,13 +16235,13 @@ Dustin Farnum:	Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats!
 Oliver Herford:	Wonderful!  Wonderful!  Clever of you to think of it!
 		-- Brian Herbert, "Classic Comebacks"
 %
-Duty, n:
+Duty, n.:
 	What one expects from others.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
 %
 Dying is a very dull, dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have
 nothing whatever to do with it.
-		-- W. Somerset Maughm, his last words
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words
 %
 Dying is easy.  Comedy is difficult.
 		-- Actor Edmond Gween, on his deathbed
@@ -16351,9 +16354,11 @@ But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire,
 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it.
 		-- Harry Secombe's diet
 %
-Eat drink and be merry!  Tomorrow you may be in Utah.
+Eat, drink, and be merry!  Tomorrow you may be in Utah.
 %
-Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
+Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
+%
+Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
 %
 Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work.
 %
@@ -16371,8 +16376,8 @@ Eating chocolate is like being in love without the aggravation.
 Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
 		-- John Kenneth Galbraith
 %
-economics, n.:
-	Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J.K. Galbraith.
+Economics, n.:
+	Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K. Galbraith.
 		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
 %
 Economies of scale:
@@ -16383,7 +16388,7 @@ Economies of scale:
 	as an article of faith by those who love small machines and all
 	those limitations.
 %
-economist, n:
+Economist, n.:
 	Someone who's good with figures, but doesn't have enough
 	personality to become an accountant.
 %
@@ -16424,17 +16429,17 @@ royal-blue chickens.
 		-- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"
 %
 Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!
-		-- Bullwinkle Moose
+		-- Bullwinkle J. Moose
 %
 Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 Eggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English.  Many
 people wonder where the word "eggnog" comes from.  The first syllable
 comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg".  I don't know where
 the "nog" comes from.
 
-To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in
+To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine, gin and, if they are in
 season, eggs...
 %
 Ego sum ens omnipotens
@@ -16445,9 +16450,8 @@ to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
 %
 Egotism is the anesthetic which numbs the pain of stupidity.
 %
-Egotism, n:
+Egotism, n.:
 	Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
-
 %
 Egotist, n.:
 	A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
@@ -16456,8 +16460,8 @@ Egotist, n.:
 egrep -n '^[a-z].*\(' $ | sort -t':' +2.0
 %
 Ehrman's Commentary:
-	1.  Things will get worse before they get better.
-	2.  Who said things would get better?
+	(1) Things will get worse before they get better.
+	(2) Who said things would get better?
 %
 ...eighty years later he could still recall with the young pang of his
 original joy his falling in love with Ada.
@@ -16466,12 +16470,12 @@ original joy his falling in love with Ada.
 Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because
 God is not capricious or arbitrary.  No such faith comforts the software
 engineer.
-		-- Fred Brooks
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
 %
 Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.
 		-- Groucho Marx' last words
 %
-Elbonics, v:
+Elbonics, v.:
 	The actions of two people maneuvering for one
 	armrest in a movie theatre.
 		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
@@ -16521,13 +16525,13 @@ WARNING:
 %
 Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
 %
-Electrocution, n:
+Electrocution, n.:
 	Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.
 %
 Elegance and truth are inversely related.
 		-- Becker's Razor
 %
-Elephant, n:
+Elephant, n.:
 	A mouse built to government specifications.
 %
 Elevators smell different to midgets.
@@ -16549,7 +16553,7 @@ Half asleep, Eli murmured,
 %
 Elliptic paraboloids for sale.
 %
-Elliptical, n:
+Elliptical, n.:
 	The feel of a kiss.
 %
 Eloquence is logic on fire.
@@ -16557,10 +16561,10 @@ Eloquence is logic on fire.
 Elwood:  What kind of music do you get here ma'am?
 Barmaid: Why, we get both kinds of music, Country and Western.
 %
-Emacs, n:
+Emacs, n.:
 	A slow-moving parody of a text editor.
 %
-Emersons' Law of Contrariness:
+Emerson's Law of Contrariness:
 	Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do
 	what we can.  Having found them, we shall then hate them
 	for it.
@@ -16595,7 +16599,7 @@ Liberal Arts:	"Do you want fries with that?"
 English literature's performing flea.
 		-- Sean O'Casey on P. G. Wodehouse
 %
-Engram, n:
+Engram, n.:
 	1. The physical manifestation of human memory -- "the engram."
 2. A particular memory in physical form.  [Usage note:  this term is no longer
 in common use.  Prior to Wilson and Magruder's historic discovery, the nature
@@ -16610,14 +16614,14 @@ time.]
 		-- New Century Unabridged English Dictionary,
 		   3rd edition, 2007 A.D.
 %
-enhance, v:
+Enhance, v.:
 	To tamper with an image, usually to its detriment.
 %
 Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
 %
 Enjoy yourself while you're still old.
 %
-Entrepreneur, n:
+Entrepreneur, n.:
 	A high-rolling risk taker who would rather
 	be a spectacular failure than a dismal success.
 %
@@ -16629,7 +16633,7 @@ Entropy requires no maintenance.
 Envy is a pain of mind that successful men cause their neighbors.
 		-- Onasander
 %
-Envy, n:
+Envy, n.:
 	Wishing you'd been born with an unfair advantage,
 	instead of having to try and acquire one.
 %
@@ -16655,7 +16659,9 @@ Es brilig war.  Die schlichte Toven
 	Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben;
 Und aller-m"umsige Burggoven
 	Dir mohmen R"ath ausgraben.
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 Eschew obfuscation.
 %
@@ -16673,7 +16679,7 @@ Eternity is a terrible thought.  I mean, where's it going to end?
 Etiquette is for those with no breeding;
 fashion for those with no taste.
 %
-Etymology, n:
+Etymology, n.:
 	Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that
 	were hard for the public to believe.  The term 'etymology' was
 	formed from the Latin 'etus' ("eaten"), the root 'mal' ("bad"),
@@ -16681,9 +16687,9 @@ Etymology, n:
 	hard to swallow."
 		-- Mike Kellen
 %
-Euch ist becannt, was wir beduerfen;
+Euch ist bekannt, was wir beduerfen;
 Wir wollen stark Getraenke schluerfen.
-		-- Goethe, "Faust"
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Faust"
 %
 Eudaemonic research proceeded with the casual mania peculiar to this part of
 the world.  Nude sunbathing on the back deck was combined with phone calls to
@@ -16852,7 +16858,7 @@ Therefore fire engines are red.
 Ever wondered about the origins of the term "bugs" as applied to computer
 technology?  U.S. Navy Capt. Grace Murray Hopper has firsthand explanation.
 The 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in
-computer technology during World War II.  At the C.W. Post Center of Long
+computer technology during World War II.  At the C. W. Post Center of Long
 Island University, Hopper told a group of Long Island public school adminis-
 trators that the first computer "bug" was a real bug--a moth.  At Harvard
 one August night in 1945, Hopper and her associates were working on the
@@ -16909,7 +16915,7 @@ spending money alone.  It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
 genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.  This is not a way
 of life at all in any true sense.  Under the clouds of war, it is
 humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
-		-- Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
+		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
 %
 Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):
 
@@ -17090,7 +17096,7 @@ Everybody is given the same amount of hormones, at birth, and
 if you want to use yours for growing hair, that's fine with me.
 %
 Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
-		-- Dykstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Everybody knows that the dice are loaded.  Everybody rolls with their
 fingers crossed.  Everybody knows the war is over.  Everybody knows the
@@ -17202,7 +17208,7 @@ Everything might be different in the present
 if only one thing had been different in the past.
 %
 Everything new stalls because there is precedence for the old.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
 %
@@ -17306,7 +17312,7 @@ Excess on occasion is exhilarating.  It prevents moderation from
 acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
 		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
-Excessive login messages is a sure sign of senility.
+Excessive login messages are a sure sign of senility.
 %
 Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.
 %
@@ -17332,7 +17338,7 @@ Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
 %
 Expedience is the best teacher.
 %
-Expense accounts, n:
+Expense accounts, n.:
 	Corporate food stamps.
 %
 Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
@@ -17410,6 +17416,11 @@ F:	When into a room I plunge, I
 	On the poison they're exuding.
 		-- The Roguelet's ABC
 %
+F. Scott Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
+	"Ernest, the rich are different from us."
+Hemingway:
+	"Yes.  They have more money."
+%
 f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
 %
 f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
@@ -17462,7 +17473,7 @@ Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
 Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place it
 ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures.  It is
 the doubt that moved all the mountains.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam
 on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.
@@ -17470,11 +17481,11 @@ on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.
 Faith is under the left nipple.
 		-- Martin Luther
 %
-Faith, n:
+Faith, n.:
 	That quality which enables us to
 	believe what we know to be untrue.
 %
-Fakir, n:
+Fakir, n.:
 	A psychologist whose charismatic data have inspired almost
 	religious devotion in his followers, even though the sources
 	seem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished.
@@ -17603,7 +17614,7 @@ Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.
 Fear is the greatest salesman.
 		-- Robert Klein
 %
-feature, n:
+Feature, n.:
 	A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally documented.  To
 	call a property a feature sometimes means the author did not
 	consider that case, and the program makes an unexpected, though
@@ -17621,7 +17632,7 @@ Feeling amorous, she looked under the sheets and cried, "Oh, no,
 it's Microsoft!"
 %
 Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
-An endothermic quadroped, carniverous by nature.
+An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.
 Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
 Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
 I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
@@ -17641,7 +17652,7 @@ I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
 Fellow programmer, greetings!  You are reading a letter which will bring
 you luck and good fortune.  Just mail (or UUCP) ten copies of this letter
 to ten of your friends.  Before you make the copies, send a chip or
-other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of 'C' code to the first person on the
+other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of "C" code to the first person on the
 list given at the bottom of this letter.  Then delete their name and add
 yours to the bottom of the list.
 
@@ -17680,14 +17691,14 @@ Rod:	No, the ability to get hung up on them.
 Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
-Fidelity, n:
+Fidelity, n.:
 	A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
 %
 Fifteen men on a dead man's chest,
 Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
 Drink and the devil had done for the rest,
 Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
-		-- Stevenson, "Treasure Island"
+		-- Robert Louis Stevenson, "Treasure Island"
 %
 Fifth Law of Applied Terror:
 	If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
@@ -17709,7 +17720,7 @@ Carolina.
 File cabinet:
 	A four drawer, manually activated trash compactor.
 %
-filibuster, n:
+Filibuster, n.:
 	Throwing your wait around.
 %
 Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
@@ -17862,8 +17873,8 @@ and after questioning, released him to be charged on summons.
 telephone booths.
 		-- "Newcastle Morning Herald", NSW Australia, Aug 1980
 %
-First things first -- but not necessarily in that order
-		-- Dr. Who, "Doctor Who"
+First things first -- but not necessarily in that order.
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 "First World" nations are the ones where people drive Japanese cars;
 "Second World" nations are where First World residents go on vacation;
@@ -17871,7 +17882,7 @@ and "Third World" nations are the ones where people still dive out of
 trees to prove their manhood.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
-Fishbowl, n:
+Fishbowl, n.:
 	A glass-enclosed isolation cell where newly
 	promoted managers are kept for observation.
 %
@@ -17974,7 +17985,7 @@ catch him there."  With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an
 activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...
 		-- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"
 %
-flowchart, n. & v.:
+Flowchart, n. & v.:
 	[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
 "a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
 1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
@@ -18002,7 +18013,7 @@ Flying saucers on occasion
 Aliens fume, put off invasion
 	While they brand these tales as lies.
 %
-Fog Lamps, n:
+Fog Lamps, n.:
 	Excessively (often obnoxiously) bright lamps mounted on the fronts
 	of automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the
 	driver's brain is in a fog.  See also "Idiot Lights".
@@ -18037,7 +18048,7 @@ For a good time, call (510) 642-9483
 For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
 %
 For a light heart lives long.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
 %
 For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a
 cat.
@@ -18053,7 +18064,7 @@ prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to
 misery hereafter. The few have said "Think". The many have said "Believe!"
 		-- Robert Ingersoll, "Gods"
 %
-For an adequate time call 555-3321
+For an adequate time call 555-3321.
 %
 For an idea to be fashionable is ominous,
 since it must afterwards be always old-fashioned.
@@ -18088,7 +18099,7 @@ that glue in math mode varies with the size only when it is an \mskip;
 when moving between an mskip and ordinary skip, the conversion factor
 1mu=1pt is always used.  The meaning of '\mskip\skip12' and
 '\baselineskip=\the\thickmskip' should be clear.
-		-- Donald Knuth, TeX 82 -- Comparison with TeX80
+		-- Donald E. Knuth, TeX 82 -- Comparison with TeX80
 %
 For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
 %
@@ -18269,7 +18280,7 @@ Breasts can sell anything. Shiny red latex body suits start
 religions.
 		-- Brian McGroarty <bvmcg@yahoo.com>
 %
-For years a secret shame destroyed my peace--
+For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
 I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
 But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
 Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
@@ -18292,13 +18303,13 @@ No, don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
 %
 FORCE YOURSELF TO RELAX!
 %
-Forecast, n:
+Forecast, n.:
 	A prediction of the future, based on the past, for
 	which the forecaster demands payment in the present.
 %
 Forest fires cause Smokey Bears.
 %
-Forgetfulness, n:
+Forgetfulness, n.:
 	A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for
 	their destitution of conscience.
 %
@@ -18307,7 +18318,7 @@ Forgive and forget.
 %
 Forgive him,
 for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!
-		-- G. B. Shaw
+		-- George Bernard Shaw
 %
 Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
 And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
@@ -18329,7 +18340,7 @@ which is easier to parse using ad hoc techniques.
 %
 FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed -- it is hardy,
 occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer.
-		-- A. J. Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 FORTRAN is the language of Powerful Computers.
 		-- Steven Feiner
@@ -18552,7 +18563,7 @@ CARTABLANCA:
 	trouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer
 	wine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is
 	fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in
-	which the much-hated German beer distributer is drowned in a vat.
+	which the much-hated German beer distributor is drowned in a vat.
 %
 FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11
 
@@ -18664,52 +18675,52 @@ it carries every reasonable implication of ill-will toward that person.
 %
 FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:	#1
 
-skilled oral communicator:
+Skilled oral communicator:
 	Mumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak.  Talks to self.
 	Argues with self.  Loses these arguments.
 
-skilled written communicator:
+Skilled written communicator:
 	Scribbles well.  Memos are invariable illegible, except for
 	the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.
 
-growth potential:
+Growth potential:
 	With proper guidance, periodic counseling, and remedial training,
 	the reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet
 	the minimum requirements expected of him by the company.
 
-key company figure:
+Key company figure:
 	Serves as the perfect counter example.
 %
 FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:	#4
 
-consistent:
+Consistent:
 	Reviewee hasn't gotten anything right yet, and it is anticipated
 	that this pattern will continue throughout the coming year.
 
-an excellent sounding board:
+An excellent sounding board:
 	Present reviewee with any number of alternatives, and implement
 	them in the order precisely opposite of his/her specification.
 
-a planner and organizer:
+A planner and organizer:
 	Usually manages to put on socks before shoes.  Can match the
 	animal tags on his clothing.
 %
 FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:	#9
 
-has management potential:
+Has management potential:
 	Because of his intimate relationship with inanimate objects, the
 	reviewee has been appointed to the critical position of department
 	pencil monitor.
 
-inspirational:
+Inspirational:
 	A true inspiration to others.  ("There, but for the grace of God,
 	go I.")
 
-adapts to stress:
+Adapts to stress:
 	Passes wind, water, or out depending upon the severity of the
 	situation.
 
-goal oriented:
+Goal oriented:
 	Continually sets low goals for himself, and usually fails
 	to meet them.
 %
@@ -18866,7 +18877,7 @@ sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
 Oh, and have a nice day!
 		-- Bryce Nesbitt '84
 %
-fortune's Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:
+Fortune's Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:
 
 	I'll stay out of animals' way if they'll stay out of mine.
 	"Hey you, get off my plate"
@@ -18948,9 +18959,9 @@ Fortune's Fictitious Country Song Title of the Week:
 FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#1
 	A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.
 	A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.
-	A giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.
+	A giant panda bear is really a member of the raccoon family.
 	A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
-	    rather then a spotted one.
+	    rather than a spotted one.
 	Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees
 		while peanuts grow underground.  They are classified as a
 		legume-part of the pea family.
@@ -18962,7 +18973,7 @@ Ruth, but after the oldest daughter of President Grover Cleveland.
 %
 FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#37
 	Can you name the seven seas?
-		Antartic, Artic, North Atlantic, South Atlantic, Indian,
+		Antarctic, Arctic, North Atlantic, South Atlantic, Indian,
 		North Pacific, South Pacific.
 	Can you name the seven dwarfs from Snow White?
 		Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy and Bashful.
@@ -19236,7 +19247,7 @@ Three be the things I shall have till I die:
 %
 Four fifths of the perjury in the world is expended on
 tombstones, women and competitors.
-		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
+		-- Lord Thomas Robert Dewar
 %
 Four hours to bury the cat?
 Yes, damn thing wouldn't keep still, kept mucking about, 'owling...
@@ -19272,8 +19283,8 @@ Frankly, Scarlett, I don't have a fix.
 Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.
 		-- Charles Curtis, "A Commonplace Book"
 %
-Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.
-		-- A Yippie Proverb
+Free Speech Is The Right To Shout "Theater" In A Crowded Fire.
+		-- A Yippie proverb
 %
 FreeBSD: everything but the fairings
 %
@@ -19320,7 +19331,7 @@ Fried's 1st Rule:
 Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
 		-- Thomas Jones
 %
-Friends, n:
+Friends, n.:
 	People who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them.
 
 	People who know you well, but like you anyway.
@@ -19339,7 +19350,7 @@ Come I to make this gig at Caesar's laying down.
 %
 Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority
 over the other.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Frisbeetarianism, n.:
 	The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and
@@ -19466,11 +19477,6 @@ That dead men rise up never,
 That even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
 		-- Swinburne
 %
-F.S. Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
-	"Ernest, the rich are different from us."
-Hemingway:
-	"Yes.  They have more money."
-%
 Fuch's Warning:
 	If you actually look like your passport photo, you aren't well
 	enough to travel.
@@ -19497,7 +19503,7 @@ Function reject.
 %
 Fundamentally, there may be no basis for anything.
 %
-Furbling, v:
+Furbling, v.:
 	Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
 	even when you are the only person in line.
 		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@@ -19511,7 +19517,7 @@ but if we send it by ship, it's cargo.
 Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
 %
 Future will arrive by its own means.  Progress not so.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy.  One
 of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his
@@ -19622,11 +19628,11 @@ Genius is the talent of a person who is dead.
 Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
 		-- Elbert Hubbard
 %
-genius, n:
+Genius, n.:
 	A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with
 	"bright".
 %
-genlock, n:
+Genlock, n.:
 	Why he stays in the bottle.
 %
 Gentlemen,
@@ -19641,7 +19647,7 @@ Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable
 exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.
 	Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted
 for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been a hideous
-confusion as the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry
+confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry
 regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain.  This reprehensible carelessness
 may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a
 fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.
@@ -19772,7 +19778,6 @@ Ginsberg's Theorem:
 	3. You can't even quit the game.
 
 Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:
-
 	Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
 	meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's
 	Theorem.  To wit:
@@ -19816,7 +19821,7 @@ Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.
 		-- St. Augustine
 %
 Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war.
-		-- Napolean
+		-- Napoleon
 %
 Give me libertines or give me meth.
 %
@@ -19967,7 +19972,7 @@ God created woman.
 And boredom did indeed cease from that moment --
 but many other things ceased as well.
 Woman was God's second mistake.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 God did not create the world in seven days; he screwed around for six
 days and then pulled an all-nighter.
@@ -20006,7 +20011,7 @@ God help those who do not help themselves.
 		-- Wilson Mizner
 %
 God helps them that helps themselves.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!
 %
@@ -20023,7 +20028,7 @@ God is Dead.
 Nietzsche is Dead.
 		-- God
 Nietzsche is God.
-		-- Dead
+		-- The Dead
 %
 God is dead and I don't feel all too well either....
 		-- Ralph Moonen
@@ -20056,12 +20061,12 @@ God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
 %
 God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
 %
-God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
+God may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean.
 		-- Albert Einstein
 %
 God must have loved calories, she made so many of them.
 %
-God must love the common man; He made so many of them.
+God must love the Common Man; He made so many of them.
 %
 God rest ye CS students now,		The bearings on the drum are gone,
 Let nothing you dismay.			The disk is wobbling, too.
@@ -20113,7 +20118,7 @@ Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
 Going to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school
 make a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.
 %
-Gold, n:
+Gold, n.:
 	A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.  It
 	is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich
 	men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons,
@@ -20159,7 +20164,7 @@ Good advice is one of those insults that ought to be forgiven.
 %
 Good advice is something a man gives
 when he is too old to set a bad example.
-		-- La Rouchefoucauld
+		-- La Rochefoucauld
 %
 Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.
 %
@@ -20243,10 +20248,10 @@ Gordon's Law:
 	If you think you have the solution, the question was poorly phrased.
 %
 Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward?  That's the trouble with
-time travel, you never can tell."
-		-- Dr. Who, "Androids of Tara"
+time travel, you never can tell.
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who: Androids of Tara"
 %
-gossip, n:
+Gossip, n.:
 	Hearing something you like about someone you don't.
 		-- Earl Wilson
 %
@@ -20288,7 +20293,7 @@ Goto, n.:
 	to complain about unstructured programmers.
 		-- Ray Simard
 %
-Gourmet, n:
+Gourmet, n.:
 	Anyone whom, when you fail to finish something strange or
 	revolting, remarks that it's an acquired taste and that you're
 	leaving the best part.
@@ -20380,7 +20385,7 @@ place of residence.
 %
 GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  April 2, 1751
 
-Issac Newton becomes discouraged when he falls up a flight of stairs.
+Isaac Newton becomes discouraged when he falls up a flight of stairs.
 %
 GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  November 23, 1915
 
@@ -20493,7 +20498,7 @@ GURU:
 	a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the
 	phone call you are about to receive from your boss.
 %
-guru, n:
+Guru, n.:
 	A computer owner who can read the manual.
 %
 Gyroscope, n.:
@@ -20525,10 +20530,10 @@ Martin's Extension:
 
 		[No, those who can't teach, teach here.  Ed.]
 %
-hacker, n:
+Hacker, n.:
 	Originally, any person with a knack for coercing stubborn inanimate
 things; hence, a person with a happy knack, later contracted by the mythical
-philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, 'hack'.
+philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, "hack."
 	In olden times, upon completion of some particularly atrocious body
 of coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather in
 a small circle around a first edition of Knuth's Best Volume I by candlelight,
@@ -20629,7 +20634,7 @@ But half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity.  See?
 But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
 When half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
 %
-Half Moon tonight.  (At least its better than no Moon at all.)
+Half Moon tonight.  (At least it is better than no Moon at all.)
 %
 Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
 %
@@ -20649,7 +20654,7 @@ Half-done, n.:
 	Essex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk
 	about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the
 	man, "Let me have a nice half-done."  Worth the trouble, wasn't it?
-		-- Arthur Naiman
+		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
 %
 Halley's Comet: It came, we saw, we drank.
 %
@@ -20669,7 +20674,7 @@ Hand, n.:
 Handel's Proverb:
 	You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!
 %
-handshaking protocol, n:
+Handshaking protocol, n.:
 	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a
 	terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
 	occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
@@ -20677,7 +20682,7 @@ handshaking protocol, n:
 Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.
 		-- Pink Floyd
 %
-hangover, n:
+Hangover, n.:
 	The wrath of grapes.
 %
 Hanlon's Razor:
@@ -20718,14 +20723,14 @@ Happiness, n.:
 	another.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-happiness, n:
+Happiness, n.:
 	Finding the owner of a lost bikini.
 %
 Happy feast of the pig!
 %
 Happy is the child whose father died rich.
 %
-hard, adj:
+Hard, adj.:
 	The quality of your own data; also how it is to believe those
 	of other people.
 %
@@ -20737,14 +20742,14 @@ Hard work may not kill you, but why take the chance?
 Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
 		-- Charlie McCarthy
 %
-hardware, n:
+Hardware, n.:
 	The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
 %
 Hark, Hark, the dogs do bark
 The Duke is fond of kittens
 He likes to take their insides out
 And use them for his mittens
-	From "The Thirteen Clocks"
+		-- "The 13 Clocks"
 %
 Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
 Advertising wondrous things.
@@ -20829,7 +20834,7 @@ Hartley's First Law:
 	You can lead a horse to water, but if you can
 	get him to float on his back, you've got something.
 %
-HARTLEY'S SECOND LAW:
+Hartley's Second Law:
 	Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
 
 My corollary:
@@ -20967,7 +20972,7 @@ vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk?
 %
 Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline
 sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
-		-- Dr. Who
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 Have you reconsidered a computer career?
 %
@@ -21073,6 +21078,7 @@ finer than the staple of his argument.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
 %
 He flung himself on his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
+		-- Stephen Leacock
 %
 He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
 %
@@ -21123,7 +21129,7 @@ He is the best of men who dislikes power.
 He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
 %
 He jests at scars who never felt a wound.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2"
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2"
 %
 He keeps differentiating, flying off on a tangent.
 %
@@ -21162,7 +21168,7 @@ had fallen to the ground.
 	That my translation must be changed again.
 	The spirit helps me.  Now it is exact.
 	I write: "In the beginning was the Act."
-		-- Goethe's Faust
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Faust"
 %
 [He] played the King as if afraid someone else might play the ace.
 		-- Unattributed review of a performance of King Lear
@@ -21178,7 +21184,7 @@ He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
 %
 He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick,
 And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
-		-- O. Nash, on the perfect husband
+		-- Ogden Nash, on the perfect husband
 %
 He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
 		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
@@ -21187,7 +21193,7 @@ He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.
 		-- Scottish proverb
 %
 He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"
@@ -21228,14 +21234,16 @@ told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven -- with a gun."
 		-- Jack Handey
 %
 He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.
-		-- Jonathon Swift
+		-- Jonathan Swift
 %
 He was a modest, good-humored boy.  It was Oxford that made him
 insufferable.
 %
 He was part of my dream, of course --
 but then I was part of his dream too.
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
 %
@@ -21249,7 +21257,7 @@ broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.
 		-- William S. Paley, chairman of CBS
 %
 He who dares the wrong, acts right, that's how it happens!
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for
 the human condition is a fool.
@@ -21259,7 +21267,7 @@ He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
 		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 He who enters his wife's dressing room is a philosopher or a fool.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.
 		-- Sinbad
@@ -21357,10 +21365,10 @@ be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.
 		-- Sir Richard Burton
 %
 He who slings mud generally loses ground.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 He who slings mud loses ground.
-		-- Chinese Proverb
+		-- Chinese proverb
 %
 He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
 %
@@ -21441,7 +21449,7 @@ Heaven, n.:
 Heavier than air flying machines are impossible.
 		-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, c. 1895
 %
-heavy, adj:
+Heavy, adj.:
 	Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
 %
 Hedonist for hire... no job too easy!
@@ -21463,7 +21471,7 @@ how are they supposed to know you care?
 Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "The Tempest"
 %
-hell, n:
+Hell, n.:
 	Truth seen too late.
 %
 Heller's Law:
@@ -21505,7 +21513,7 @@ Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
 %
 Help fight continental drift.
 %
-HELP!!!! I'm being held prisoner in /usr/share/games/fortune/!
+HELP!!!! I'm being held prisoner in /usr/share/games/fortune!
 %
 Help me, I'm a prisoner in a Fortune cookie file!
 %
@@ -21631,7 +21639,7 @@ Here there by tygers.
 HERE'S A GOOD JOKE to do during an earthquake.  Straddle a big crack in
 the earth and if it opens wider, go, "Whoa! Whoa!" and flap your arms
 around as if you're going to fall.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like
 `Psychic Wins Lottery.'
@@ -21752,7 +21760,7 @@ Call (511) 338-0959 for an immediate appointment.
 %
 Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
 Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
-Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,	Here lies a man with sundry flaws
+Wir haben ihn ins Grab gesteckt,	Here lies a man with sundry flaws
 Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt.	And numerous Sins upon his head;
 					We buried him today because
 					As far as we can tell, he's dead.
@@ -21763,12 +21771,9 @@ Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt.	And numerous Sins upon his head;
 %
 Higgeldy Piggeldy,
 Hamlet of Elsinore
-Ruffled the critics by
-Dropping this bomb:
-"Phooey on Freud and his
-Psychoanalysis,
-Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
-I just loved Mom."
+Ruffled the critics by dropping this bomb:
+"Phooey on Freud and his Psychoanalysis --
+Oedipus, Shmoedipus, I just loved Mom."
 %
 Higgins:	Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue.
 Doolittle:	A little of both, Guv'nor.  Like the rest of us, a
@@ -21937,7 +21942,7 @@ Hitchcock's Staple Principle:
 Hitler used methods against white men in Europe, which by tacit
 agreement between the cultural European nations were only to be
 used against the coloured.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Hlade's Law:
 	If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person --
@@ -21997,7 +22002,7 @@ HOGAN'S HEROES DRINKING GAME --
 	plan is impossible.
 -- The prisoners capture an important German, and sneak him out the tunnel.
 %
-Hollerith, v:
+Hollerith, v.:
 	What thou doest when thy phone is on the fritzeth.
 %
 Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
@@ -22041,7 +22046,7 @@ Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
 Honesty's the best policy.
 		-- Miguel de Cervantes
 %
-honeymoon, n:
+Honeymoon, n.:
 	A short period of doting between dating and debting.
 		-- Ray C. Bandy
 %
@@ -22085,7 +22090,7 @@ Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
 		-- Jack Benny
 %
 Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 HOST SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING, PROBABLY DOWN. DO YOU WANT TO WAIT? (Y/N)
 %
@@ -22113,7 +22118,7 @@ How apt the poor are to be proud.
 How can you be in two places at once
 when you're not anywhere at all?
 %
-How can you do 'New Math' problems with an 'Old Math' mind?
+How can you do "New Math" problems with an "Old Math" mind?
 		-- Schulz
 %
 How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?
@@ -22194,7 +22199,7 @@ How cheerfully he seems to grin,
 	How neatly spreads his claws,
 And welcomes little fishes in,
 	With gently smiling jaws!
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 How doth the VAX's C-compiler
 	Improve its object code.
@@ -22204,7 +22209,7 @@ And even as we speak does it
 How patiently it seems to run
 	And spit out error flags,
 While users, with frustration, all
-	Tear their clothes to rags.
+	Tear all their clothes to rags.
 %
 How is the world ruled, and how do wars start?  Diplomats tell lies to
 journalists, and they believe what they read.
@@ -22277,7 +22282,6 @@ HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
 	#15 Your pet rock snaps at you.
 %
 HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
-
 	#32: You call your answering service and they've never heard of
 	     you.
 %
@@ -22443,7 +22447,7 @@ It is never any good to oneself.
 		-- Oscar Wilde, "An Ideal Husband"
 %
 I always say beauty is only sin deep.
-		-- Saki, "Reginald's Choir Treat"
+		-- H. H. Munro, a.k.a. Saki, "Reginald's Choir Treat"
 %
 I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's
 accomplishments.  The front page has nothing but man's failures.
@@ -22545,7 +22549,7 @@ I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.
 I am NOMAD!
 %
 I am not a crook.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.
 		-- A. Ward
@@ -22560,7 +22564,7 @@ I am not now and never have been a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.
 		-- Gloria Steinem
 %
 I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party.
-		-- Dennis Ritchie
+		-- Dennis M. Ritchie
 %
 I am not sure what this is, but an "F" would only dignify it.
 		-- English Professor
@@ -22687,13 +22691,13 @@ I bet the human brain is a kludge.
 %
 I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
 the same day.  Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always
 end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows."  Then they would get
 embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and
 they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I bet you have fun chasing the soap around the bathtub.
 		-- Princess Diana, to a one-armed war veteran during
@@ -22729,7 +22733,7 @@ I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
 %
 I came out of twelve years of college and I didn't even know how to sew.
 All I could do was account -- I couldn't even account for myself.
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 I came to MIT to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother.
 %
@@ -22963,7 +22967,7 @@ comes nearest to it of any.
 %
 I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a
 butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
-		-- Chuang-tzu
+		-- Chuang Tzu
 %
 I do not remember ever having seen a sustained argument by an author which,
 starting from philosophical premises likely to meet with general acceptance,
@@ -23103,13 +23107,13 @@ he starts to practice law.
 %
 I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets
 fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 "I don't think so," said Ren'e Descartes.  Just then, he vanished.
 %
 I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican
 Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.
-		-- Richard Nixon, 1972
+		-- Richard M. Nixon, 1972
 %
 "I don't understand," said the scientist, "why you lemmings all rush down
 to the sea and drown yourselves."
@@ -23142,7 +23146,7 @@ thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists
 broadcast signals to alien beings.  This would be a large mistake.
 Alien beings have nuclear blaster death cannons.  You cannot cut off
 their federal programs as if they were merely poor people ...
-		-- Davy Barry, "THE ALIENS ARE COMING, THE ALIENS ARE
+		-- Dave Barry, "THE ALIENS ARE COMING, THE ALIENS ARE
 		   COMING!"
 %
 I don't want to bore you, but there's nobody else around for me to bore.
@@ -23182,7 +23186,7 @@ so I woke up from sheer boredom.
 %
 I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an
 honest difference of opinion.
-		- Isaac Asimov
+		-- Isaac Asimov
 %
 I finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.
 I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
@@ -23199,7 +23203,7 @@ I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
 %
 I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
 reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment.
-		-- Gotama Buddha
+		-- Gautama Buddha
 %
 I gave my love an Apple, that had no core;
 I gave my love a building, that had no floor;
@@ -23277,12 +23281,12 @@ human emotions which is freaking out.  Another emotion is greed, as when
 you kill someone for money or something like that.  Another emotion is
 generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid
 puppet.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I GUESS I'LL NEVER FORGET HER.  And maybe I don't want to.  Her spirit
 was wild, like a wild monkey.  Her beauty was like a beautiful horse
 being ridden by a wild monkey.  I forget her other qualities.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I guess I've been so wrapped up in playing the game that I never took
 time enough to figure out where the goal line was -- what it meant to
@@ -23296,14 +23300,14 @@ other people...  Certainty is just an emotion.
 I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him
 Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat
 one of us.  Later, we found out he was a bear.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought.
 		-- D. Cavett
 %
 I GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way.  We shot him, we skinned him, and
 we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I had a dream last night...
 I dreamt about 1976.
@@ -23423,7 +23427,7 @@ The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
 Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
 For he sometimes shoots up taller, like an india-rubber ball,
 And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.
-		-- Robert L. Stevenson
+		-- Robert Louis Stevenson
 %
 I have a map of the United States.  It's actual size.
 I spent last summer folding it.
@@ -23481,9 +23485,9 @@ I tell them the truth and they never believe me.
 I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and
 to discharge my duties as king as I would wish to do without the help and
 support of the woman I love.
-		-- Edward, Duke of Windsor, 1936, announcing his abdication
+		-- Edward, Duke of Windsor, announcing his abdication
 		   of the British throne in order to marry the American
-		   divorcee Wallis Warfield Simpson.
+		   divorcee Wallis Warfield Simpson. (1936)
 %
 I have found little that is good about human beings.  In my experience
 most of them are trash.
@@ -23622,7 +23626,7 @@ declare the construction of such machinery impracticable...
 	And at a period when the progress of physical science is obstructed
 by that exhausting intellectual and manual labor, indispensable for its
 advancement, which it is the object of the Analytical Engine to relieve, I
-think the application of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abtruse
+think the application of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abstruse
 calculations can no longer be deemed unworthy of the attention of the country.
 In fact, there is no reason why mental as well as bodily labor should not
 be economized by the aid of machinery.
@@ -23927,7 +23931,7 @@ I will not Reason and Compare; my business is to Create.
 		-- William Blake, "Jerusalem"
 %
 I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
-		-- Alexander Woolcott
+		-- Alexander Woollcott
 %
 I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
 week sometimes to make it up.
@@ -24010,7 +24014,7 @@ I've never seen a purple cow
 I never hope to see one
 But from the milk we're getting now
 There certainly must be one
-		-- Odgen Nash
+		-- Ogden Nash
 
 Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
 I'm sorry now I wrote it
@@ -24021,7 +24025,7 @@ I'll kill you if you quote it.
 I never take work home with me; I always leave it in some bar along the way.
 %
 I never vote for anyone.  I always vote against.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
 		-- George Bernard Shaw
@@ -24150,7 +24154,7 @@ But only what I tell it.
 I really look with commiseration over the great body of my fellow citizens
 who, reading newspapers, live and die in the belief that they have known
 something of what has been passing in their time.
-		-- Harry S. Truman
+		-- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the
 reader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if
@@ -24167,7 +24171,7 @@ I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
 morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
 the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
 invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
-the opening theme music of 'Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
+the opening theme music of `Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
 asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
 "You're right."  The porter said, "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
 that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
@@ -24233,7 +24237,7 @@ There's a bad moon on the rise.
 %
 I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
-		-- The Best of Will Rogers
+		-- Will Rogers
 %
 I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
 I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
@@ -24262,6 +24266,9 @@ I said to him, and I said it plain	And when I found the door was shut,
 
 	"Is that all?" asked Alice.
 	"That is all." said Humpty Dumpty. "Goodbye."
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 I sent a message to another time,
 But as the days unwind -- this I just can't believe,
@@ -24324,7 +24331,7 @@ Easy.  I own Chicago.  I own Miami.  I own Las Vegas.
 		-- Sam Giancana, when asked what he did for a living
 %
 I stick my neck out for nobody.
-		-- Humphrey Bogart, "Casablanca"
+		-- Humphrey Bogart, "Casablanca" (1942)
 %
 I stood on the leading edge,
 The eastern seaboard at my feet.
@@ -24338,8 +24345,8 @@ I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to
 see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
 		-- Shirley Temple
 %
-I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookiee win.
-		-- CP30
+I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.
+		-- C-3PO
 %
 I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won't do
 too much damage if it catches fire or explodes.  First you decide which
@@ -24436,14 +24443,14 @@ I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
 		-- Rodney Dangerfield
 %
 I think...  I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.
-		-- Escher
+		-- M. C. Escher
 %
 I think a relationship is like a shark.  It has to constantly move forward
 or it dies.  Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark.
 		-- Woody Allen
 %
 I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 I think I'm schizophrenic.  One half of me's
 paranoid and the other half's out to get him.
@@ -24453,13 +24460,13 @@ because I couldn't remember the proof.
 		-- Baker, Pure Math 351a
 %
 I THINK MAN INVENTED THE CAR by instinct.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
 %
 I think she must have been very strictly brought up, she's so
 desperately anxious to do the wrong thing correctly.
-		-- Saki, "Reginald on Worries"
+		-- H. H. Munro, a.k.a. Saki, "Reginald on Worries"
 %
 I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick
 and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this
@@ -24490,7 +24497,7 @@ They went this morning with the dawn.
 A logging firm from out of town
 Came and chopped the trees all down.
 But I will trick those dirty skunks
-And write a brand new poem called 'Trunks'.
+And write a brand new poem called "Trunks."
 %
 I think the sky is blue because it's a shift from black through purple
 to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the
@@ -24518,16 +24525,16 @@ I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect."
 I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone
 say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer
 effect."
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I think, therefore I am... I think.
 %
 I think there's a world market for about five computers.
-		-- attr. Thomas J. Watson (Chairman of the Board, IBM), 1943
+		-- attr. Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (1943)
 %
 I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for
 paneling.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I think we are in Rats Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
 		-- T. S. Eliot
@@ -24544,14 +24551,14 @@ conversation ...
 		-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
 %
 I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 I think we're in trouble.
 		-- Han Solo
 %
 I think your opinions are reasonable,
 except for the one about my mental instability.
-		-- Psychology Professor, Farifield University
+		-- Psychology Professor, Fairfield University
 %
 "I thought that you said you were 20 years old!"
 "As a programmer, yes," she replied,
@@ -24578,7 +24585,8 @@ And would not have had fun with the game.
 %
 I thought there was something fishy about the butler.  Probably a Pisces,
 working for scale.
-		-- Firesign Theatre, "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"
+		-- The Firesign Theatre,
+		   "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"
 %
 I thought YOU silenced the guard!
 %
@@ -24967,7 +24975,7 @@ we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
 %
 I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
 and Superman away.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I wish there was a knob on the TV where you could turn up the
 intelligence.  They've got one called brightness, but it doesn't
@@ -24998,7 +25006,7 @@ I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
 		-- Bastian B. Bux
 %
 I wonder what the leash and collar set does for excitement?
-		-- Tramp, Lady and the Tramp
+		-- Tramp, "Lady and the Tramp"
 %
 I worked in a health food store once.  A guy came in and asked me,
 "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
@@ -25015,7 +25023,7 @@ only they won't let me raise my voice.
 		-- Winkle
 %
 I would have made a good pope.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
 gotten the hostages released.  I thank God they were satisfied with the
@@ -25036,7 +25044,7 @@ understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good,
 our tasks will be solved.
 		-- Warren G. Harding
 %
-I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection
+I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word "fair" in connection
 with income tax policies.
 		-- William F. Buckley
 %
@@ -25047,18 +25055,18 @@ And what I was fencing out.
 %
 I would much rather have men ask why
 I have no statue, than why I have one.
-		-- Marcus Procius Cato
+		-- Marcus Porcius Cato
 %
 I would not like to be a political leader in Russia.  They never know when
 they're being taped.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 
 I love America.  You always hurt the one you love.
 		-- David Frye impersonating Nixon
 %
 I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house
 and be above ground than reign among the dead.
-		-- Achilles, "The Odessey", XI, 489-91
+		-- Achilles, "The Odyssey", XI, 489-91
 %
 I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
 sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.
@@ -25112,7 +25120,7 @@ IBM:
 %
 IBM Advanced Systems Group -- a bunch of mindless jerks,
 who'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes...
-		-- with regrets to D. Adams
+		-- with regrets to Douglas Adams
 %
 IBM had a PL/I,
 Its syntax worse than JOSS;
@@ -25143,7 +25151,7 @@ I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
 I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
 above the ground.  That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even
 feel it.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's working on now.
 %
@@ -25179,7 +25187,7 @@ Yes life is fine when things combine,
 	Like ham in beef chow mein...
 But lord, this time I think I mind,
 	They've put acid in my rain.
-		--- Milo Bloom
+		-- Milo Bloom
 %
 I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
 		-- Groucho Marx
@@ -25198,7 +25206,7 @@ I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
 [Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson.  Ed.]
 %
 I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 I'd rather just believe that it's done by little elves running around.
 %
@@ -25276,7 +25284,7 @@ is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.
 IF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
 is, "God is crying."  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing
 to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 If a listener nods his head when you're
 explaining your program, wake him up.
@@ -25360,7 +25368,7 @@ If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.
 		-- G. K. Chesterton
 %
 If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 If a train station is a place where a train stops, what's a workstation?
 %
@@ -25451,7 +25459,7 @@ If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
 %
 If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
 Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 
 [Also attributed to Roy Mengot.  Ed.]
 %
@@ -25511,7 +25519,7 @@ no middleman.
 %
 If every kid had a funny tooth to bite down on whenever the world disappointed
 him, prussic acid could solve our population problems in one generation.
-		-- G.C. Edmonson's Albert, "The Man Who Corrupted Earth"
+		-- G. C. Edmonson's Albert, "The Man Who Corrupted Earth"
 %
 If everybody minded their own business, the world would go
 around a deal faster.
@@ -25681,7 +25689,7 @@ If *I* had a hammer, there'd be no more folk singers.
 %
 IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it.  There's
 got to be a better way.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell,
 I'd sell the plantation and go home.
@@ -25754,7 +25762,7 @@ I would send a barrel or so to my other generals.
 		-- Abraham Lincoln, on General Grant
 %
 If I love you, what business is it of yours?
-		-- Johann van Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow.  I
 just couldn't help myself.
@@ -25932,7 +25940,7 @@ be a merrier world.
 If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little
 of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking,
 and from that to incivility and procrastination.
-		-- Thomas De Quincey (1785 - 1859)
+		-- Thomas De Quincey (1785-1859)
 %
 If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and
 over again, there is no use in reading it at all.
@@ -25949,7 +25957,7 @@ get an unfair advantage.
 		-- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
 %
 If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
-		-- A. Einstein
+		-- Albert Einstein
 %
 If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
 		-- Oscar Wilde,
@@ -26064,7 +26072,7 @@ Their romance might have flourished.
 But he built tetrahedral in his shape,
 His ions ferric,
 Love could not help but die,
-Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished.
+Uncatalyzed, inert, and undernourished.
 %
 If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
 		-- Robert Frost
@@ -26213,7 +26221,7 @@ of this life.
 		-- Albert Camus
 %
 If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
-		-- Edward A. Murphy Jr.
+		-- Edward A. Murphy, Jr.
 %
 If there is any realistic deterrent to marriage, it's the fact that you
 can't afford divorce.
@@ -26283,7 +26291,7 @@ If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
 		-- Ernest Hemingway
 %
 If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
-		-- Laurence J. Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 If value corrupts then absolute value corrupts absolutely.
 %
@@ -26349,7 +26357,7 @@ If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the
 beginning of our menstrual cycle, when the female hormone is at its
 lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that in those few days
 women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?
-		-- Gloria Steinham
+		-- Gloria Steinem
 %
 If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
 		-- Aristotle Onassis
@@ -26522,12 +26530,12 @@ If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you're going to
 have to get a toehold in the public eye.
 %
 If you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you go off and program
-an imbedded system.  The salient characteristic of an imbedded system is that
+an embedded system.  The salient characteristic of an embedded system is that
 it cannot be allowed to get into a state from which only direct intervention
-will suffice to remove it.  An imbedded system can't permanently trust anything
+will suffice to remove it.  An embedded system can't permanently trust anything
 it hears from the outside world.  It must sniff around, adapt, consider, sniff
 around, and adapt again.  I'm not talking about ordinary modular programming
-carefulness here.  No.  Programming an imbedded system calls for undiluted
+carefulness here.  No.  Programming an embedded system calls for undiluted
 raging maniacal paranoia.  For example, our ethernet front ends need to know
 what network number they are on so that they can address and route PUPs
 properly.  How do you find out what your network number is?  Easy, you ask a
@@ -26746,13 +26754,13 @@ ice, but no cup.
 %
 If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage.  But
 this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is
-somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.
+somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
 %
 If you put it off long enough, it might go away.
 %
 If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery.
 But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine,
-is somehow enobled and no-one dare criticise it.
+is somehow ennobled and no-one dare criticise it.
 		-- Pierre Gallois
 %
 If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a
@@ -26799,8 +26807,8 @@ they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does.
 %
 If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
 It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
-Or some joker who is slicker,
-Will trick you of your liquor,
+	Or some joker who is slicker,
+	Will trick you of your liquor,
 If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
 %
 If you stick your head in the sand,
@@ -26883,7 +26891,7 @@ If you treat people right they will treat you right -- 90% of the time.
 If you try to please everyone, somebody is not going to like it.
 %
 If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything.
-		-- A. L.
+		-- Abraham Lincoln
 %
 If you wait long enough, it will go away... after having
 done its damage.  If it was bad, it will be back.
@@ -26945,7 +26953,7 @@ If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk.
 If you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
 If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it.
 If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.
-		-- Chinese Proverb
+		-- Chinese proverb
 %
 If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
 %
@@ -26970,7 +26978,7 @@ If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the
 If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
 %
 If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 If you would understand your own age, read the works
 of fiction produced in it.  People in disguise speak freely.
@@ -26985,7 +26993,7 @@ If your bread is stale, make toast.
 %
 If your enemy is buried in quicksand up to his neck, pull him out.
 If he is buried up to his eyes, step on his head.
-		-- Niccoli Machiavelli, "The Prince"
+		-- Niccolo Machiavelli, "The Prince"
 %
 If your happiness depends on what somebody else does,
 I guess you do have a problem.
@@ -27086,7 +27094,9 @@ Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux
 	Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave,
 Enm^im'es sont les gougebosquex,
 	Et le m^omerade horgrave.
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 Iles's Law:
 	There is always an easier way to do it.  When looking directly
@@ -27173,12 +27183,12 @@ that I could have evolved from man.
 		-- "Friday's Child", when asked to help the very pregnant
 		   Ellen up a steep incline.
 "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."
-		-- Devil in the Dark", when asked to patch up the Horta
+		-- "Devil in the Dark", when asked to patch up the Horta.
 "I'm a doctor, not an engineer."
 		-- "Mirror, Mirror", when asked by Scotty for help in
-		   Engineering aboard the ISS Enterprise.
+		   Engineering aboard the USS Enterprise.
 "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner."
-		-- "The Empath", on being beneath the surface of Minara 2
+		-- "The Empath", on being beneath the surface of Minara 2.
 "I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist."
 		-- "City on the Edge of Forever", on Edith Keeler's remark
 		   that Kirk talked strangely.
@@ -27195,7 +27205,7 @@ a sports jacket and take off my brain.
 I'm a Lisp variable -- bind me!
 %
 I'm a lucky guy, and I'm happy to be with the Yankees.  And I want to
- thank everyone for making this night necessary.
+thank everyone for making this night necessary.
 		-- Yogi Berra at a dinner in his honor
 %
 I'm all for computer dating, but I
@@ -27314,7 +27324,7 @@ Please say that you're not mad at me
 %
 I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be
 living apart.
-		-- E.E. Cummings
+		-- e. e. cummings
 %
 I'm N-ary the tree, I am,
 N-ary the tree, I am, I am.
@@ -27328,7 +27338,7 @@ N-ary the tree I am.
 		-- Stolen from Paul Revere and the Raiders
 %
 I'm not a lovable man.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 I'm not a real movie star -- I've still got the same wife I started out
 with twenty-eight years ago.
@@ -27424,7 +27434,7 @@ I'm willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people's
 lives.
 %
 Imagination is more important than knowledge.
-		-- A. Einstein
+		-- Albert Einstein
 %
 Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
 		-- Jules de Gaultier
@@ -27493,8 +27503,9 @@ Boss is reading it.
 %
 Impossible, adj.:
 	(1) I wouldn't like it and when it happens I won't approve;
-(2) I can't be bothered; (3) God can't be bothered.  Meaning (3) may
-perhaps be valid but the others are 101% whaledreck.
+	(2) I can't be bothered;
+	(3) God can't be bothered.
+Meaning (3) may perhaps be valid but the others are 101% whaledreck.
 		-- Chad C. Mulligan, "The Hipcrime Vocab"
 %
 In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled
@@ -27583,7 +27594,7 @@ this a form of primitive self-expression.  In America we call it golf.
 %
 In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one
 of the risks he takes.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so
 sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.  All
@@ -27772,7 +27783,7 @@ which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
 In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,
-murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci
+murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci
 and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had
 five hundred years of democracy and peace -- and what did they produce?
 The cuckoo-clock.
@@ -27829,7 +27840,7 @@ your left leg, it's modern architecture.
 %
 IN MY OPINION anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out
 becoming pure energy.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 In Nature there are neither rewards nor
 punishments, there are consequences.
@@ -27910,8 +27921,8 @@ We shall encounter, counting, face to face.
 In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.
 		-- Will Durst
 %
-In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really
-good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change
+In science it often happens that scientists say, "You know that's a really
+good argument; my position is mistaken," and then they actually change
 their minds and you never hear that old view from them again.  They really
 do it.  It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are
 human and change is sometimes painful.  But it happens every day.  I cannot
@@ -27945,7 +27956,7 @@ And that, I think, was the handle -- the sense of inevitable victory
 over the forces of Old and Evil.  Not in any mean or military sense; we
 didn't need that.  Our energy would simply `prevail'.  There was no
 point in fighting -- on our side or theirs.  We had all the momentum;
-we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave ....
+we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave ...
 
 So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in
 Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost
@@ -27962,7 +27973,7 @@ And still there was nothing, but at least now you could see it.
 %
 In the beginning was the word.
 But by the time the second word was added to it,
-There was trouble.
+there was trouble.
 For with it came syntax ...
 		-- John Simon
 %
@@ -28038,7 +28049,7 @@ Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.
 		-- Egyptian Book of the Dead
 %
 In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 In the long run we are all dead.
 		-- John Maynard Keynes
@@ -28152,7 +28163,7 @@ my advice.
 %
 In time, every post tends to be occupied by an
 employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.
-		-- Dr. L. J. Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without
 the supervision of a licensed engineer.
@@ -28191,7 +28202,7 @@ And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
 Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
 And here were forest ancient as the hills,
 Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
-		-- S. T. Coleridge, "Kubla Kahn"
+		-- Samuel T. Coleridge, "Kubla Kahn"
 %
 In youth, it was a way I had
 To do my best to please,
@@ -28315,7 +28326,7 @@ Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations
 
 		-- Colin Bowles, San Francisco Chronicle
 %
-ingrate, n:
+Ingrate, n.:
 	A man who bites the hand that feeds him,
 	and then complains of indigestion.
 %
@@ -28405,7 +28416,7 @@ and 8 percent said "Gimme a quarter?"
 %
 Interfere?  Of course we should interfere!  Always do what you're
 best at, that's what I say.
-		-- Doctor Who
+		-- "Doctor Who"
 %
 Interpreter, n.:
 	One who enables two persons of different languages to understand
@@ -28479,7 +28490,7 @@ Is knowledge knowable?  If not, how do we know that?
 Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning
 of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out,
 and such as are out wish to get in?
-		-- Ralph Emerson
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 %
 Is sex dirty?  Only if it's done right.
 		-- Woody Allen, "All You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex"
@@ -28500,7 +28511,7 @@ Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil.
 %
 Isn't it conceivable to you that an intelligent
 person could harbor two opposing ideas in his mind?
-		-- Adlai Stevenson, to reporters
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson, to reporters
 %
 Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction
 listen to weather forecasts and economists?
@@ -28701,7 +28712,7 @@ to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.
 %
 It is a lesson which all history teaches
 wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.
-		-- Emerson
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 %
 It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
 %
@@ -28731,7 +28742,7 @@ but would also be three months late, and of much lower quality.  I did, and
 it was.  He was right on both counts.  Moreover, the lack of conceptual
 integrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would
 estimate that it added a year to debugging time.
-		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 It is a wise father that knows his own child.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
@@ -28739,7 +28750,7 @@ It is a wise father that knows his own child.
 It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
 What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
 thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of
 Urbana, Illinois.
@@ -28771,7 +28782,7 @@ Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending
 destruction of the of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to
 alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were
 misinterpreted ...
-		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"
+		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
 %
 It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
 		-- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)
@@ -28829,7 +28840,7 @@ admit it frankly and try another.  But above all, try something.
 %
 It is contrary to reasoning to say that there
 is a vacuum or space in which there is absolutely nothing.
-		-- Descartes
+		-- Rene Descartes
 %
 It is convenient that there be gods, and,
 as it is convenient, let us believe there are.
@@ -28914,7 +28925,7 @@ without your help.
 It is Fortune, not Wisdom, that rules man's life.
 %
 It is fruitless:
-	to become lacrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.
+	to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.
 
 	to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with
 		innovative maneuvers.
@@ -29002,10 +29013,10 @@ It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide.
 %
 It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do,
 that makes life blessed.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 It is not enough that I should succeed.  Others must fail.
-		-- Ray Kroc, Founder of McDonald's
+		-- Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's
 		   [Also attributed to David Merrick.  Ed.]
 
 It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
@@ -29034,8 +29045,8 @@ and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
 It is not necessary to inquire whether a woman would like something for
 dessert.  The answer is yes, she would like something for dessert, but
 she would like you to order it so she can pick at it with your fork.  She
-does not want you to call attention to this by saying, 'If you wanted a
-dessert, why didn't you order one?'  You must understand, she has the
+does not want you to call attention to this by saying, "If you wanted a
+dessert, why didn't you order one?"  You must understand, she has the
 dessert she wants.  The dessert she wants is contained within yours.
 		-- Merrill Marcoe, "An Insider's Guide to the American Woman"
 %
@@ -29093,7 +29104,7 @@ to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
 %
 It is only with the heart one can see clearly;
 what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-		-- The Fox, 'The Little Prince"
+		-- The Fox, "The Little Prince"
 %
 It is perfectly permissible for every system call to fail with [ENOTADUCK]
 unless the first five bytes of the caller's address space contain the
@@ -29238,7 +29249,7 @@ a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw
 that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish."
 
 Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them!  Man, wise up.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 It [marriage] happens as with cages: the birds without despair
 to get in, and those within despair of getting out.
@@ -29398,7 +29409,7 @@ when you're stickin' those artificial stimulants in your arm.
 %
 It was one of those perfect summer days -- the sun was shining, a breeze
 was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was broken ...
-		--- James Dent
+		-- James Dent
 %
 It was one time too many
 One word too few
@@ -29470,7 +29481,7 @@ the way some people are of everything.
 %
 It would save me a lot of time if you just gave up and went mad now.
 %
-italic, adj:
+Italic, adj.:
 	Slanted to the right to emphasize key phrases.  Unique to
 	Western alphabets; in Eastern languages, the same phrases
 	are often slanted to the left.
@@ -29549,7 +29560,7 @@ but why do the rats always have to win?
 It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
 		-- Tom Stoppard
 %
-It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
+It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all.
 		-- Marty Winch
 %
 It's better to burn out than to fade away.
@@ -29647,9 +29658,9 @@ our's either.  It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
 It's just a jump to the left
 	And then a step to the right.
 Put your hands on your hips
-	And pull your knees in tight.
-It's the pelvic thrust
-	That really gets you insa-a-a-a-ane
+	You bring your knees in tight.
+But it's the pelvic thrust
+	That really drives you insa-a-a-a-a-ane!
 
 	LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
 
@@ -29779,7 +29790,7 @@ as a warning to others.
 %
 It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness;
 poverty and wealth have both failed.
-		-- Kim Hubbard
+		-- Kin Hubbard
 %
 It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny ...
 %
@@ -29947,7 +29958,7 @@ bad taste.
 		-- Keith Richards
 %
 I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 I've noticed several design suggestions in your code.
 %
@@ -29968,7 +29979,7 @@ And from that full meridian of my glory
 I haste now to my setting.  I shall fall,
 Like a bright exhalation in the evening
 And no man see me more.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 I've tried several varieties of sex.  The conventional position makes
 me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
@@ -29996,7 +30007,7 @@ all except			ones; the mean
 	  the dead ones		kind dirty clean)
 				all
 				   except the green ones
-		-- e e cummings
+		-- e. e. cummings
 %
 James Joyce -- an essentially private man who wished his total
 indifference to public notice to be universally recognized.
@@ -30016,7 +30027,7 @@ television?" and "Good night".
 		-- Goodman Ace, letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho
 		   Letters, 1967
 %
-Japan, n:
+Japan, n.:
 	A fictional place where elves, gnomes and economic imperialists
 	create electronic equipment and computers using black magic.  It
 	is said that in the capital city of Akihabara, the streets are
@@ -30055,7 +30066,7 @@ JOB INTERVIEW:
 	The excruciating process during which personnel officers
 	separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.
 %
-job Placement, n:
+Job Placement, n.:
 	Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
 %
 Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his Frisbee.
@@ -30073,7 +30084,7 @@ whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."
 %
 Joe's sister puts spaghetti in her shoes!
 %
-jogger, n:
+Jogger, n.:
 	An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.
 %
 John			Dame May		Oscar
@@ -30216,7 +30227,7 @@ going to get hit.
 Just because the message may never be
 received does not mean it is not worth sending.
 %
-Just because they are called 'forbidden' transitions does not mean that they
+Just because they are called "forbidden" transitions does not mean that they
 are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
 what I mean.
 		-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture
@@ -30230,7 +30241,7 @@ condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
 Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
 %
 Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times,
-and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'
+and think to yourself, "There's no place like home."
 		-- Billie Burke as Glinda, "The Wizard of Oz"
 %
 Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
@@ -30253,7 +30264,7 @@ What a glorious time to be free.
 %
 Just once, I wish we would encounter
 an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
-		-- The Brigader, "Dr. Who"
+		-- The Brigadier, "Doctor Who"
 %
 Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
 of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?
@@ -30309,7 +30320,7 @@ Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
 Justice is incidental to law and order.
 		-- J. Edgar Hoover
 %
-Justice, n:
+Justice, n.:
 	A decision in your favor.
 %
 K:	Cobalt's metal, hard and shining;
@@ -30446,7 +30457,7 @@ Kennedy's Market Theorem:
 Kent's Heuristic:
 	Look for it first where you'd most like to find it.
 %
-kern, v:
+Kern, v.:
 	1. To pack type together as tightly as the kernels on an ear
 	of corn.  2. In parts of Brooklyn and Queens, N.Y., a small,
 	metal object used as part of the monetary system.
@@ -30494,13 +30505,13 @@ Kime's Law for the Reward of Meekness:
 	Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.
 %
 Kin, n.:
-	An affliction of the blood
+	An affliction of the blood.
 %
 Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
 Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.
-		-- Muad'dib
+		-- Muad'dib, "Dune"
 %
 Kington's Law of Perforation:
 	If a straight line of holes is made in a piece of paper, such
@@ -30562,7 +30573,7 @@ Kliban's First Law of Dining:
 Klingon phaser attack from front!!!!!
 100% Damage to life support!!!!
 %
-Kludge, n:
+Kludge, n.:
 	An ill-assorted collection of poorly-matching parts, forming a
 	distressing whole.
 		-- Jackson Granholm, "Datamation"
@@ -30772,11 +30783,11 @@ Lansdale seized on the idea of using Nixon to build support for the
 [Vietnamese] elections ... really honest elections, this time.  "Oh, sure,
 honest, yes, that's right," Nixon said, "so long as you win!"  With that
 he winked, drove his elbow into Lansdale's arm and slapped his own knee.
-		-- Richard Nixon, quoted in "Sideshow" by W. Shawcross
+		-- Richard M. Nixon, quoted in "Sideshow" by W. Shawcross
 %
 Large increases in cost with questionable increases in
 performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.
-		-- Lord Kalvin
+		-- Lord Kelvin
 %
 Largest Number of Driving Test Failures
 	By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine
@@ -30917,7 +30928,7 @@ Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.
 		-- S. J. Perelman
 %
 Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Layers are for cakes, not for software.
 		-- Bart Smaalders
@@ -31038,7 +31049,7 @@ Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
 Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
 %
 Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
 %
 Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a
 number.  You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and
@@ -31095,7 +31106,7 @@ Let sleeping dogs lie.
 		-- Charles Dickens
 %
 Let the machine do the dirty work.
-		-- "The Elements of Programming Style", Kernighan and Plauger
+		-- Kernighan and Plauger, "The Elements of Programming Style"
 %
 Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
 		-- James Thurber
@@ -31105,7 +31116,7 @@ Let the people think they govern and they will be governed.
 %
 Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way
 they can. I'm sick of the job.  It's a thankless one and full of grief.
-		-- Capone
+		-- Al Capone
 %
 Let thy maid servant be faithful, strong, and homely.
 		-- Benjamin Franklin
@@ -31396,7 +31407,7 @@ Life is like a tin of sardines.
 We're, all of us, looking for the key.
 		-- Beyond the Fringe
 %
-Life is like an analogy
+Life is like an analogy.
 %
 Life is like an egg stain on your chin --
 you can lick it, but it still won't go away.
@@ -31422,7 +31433,7 @@ Life is one long struggle in the dark.
 		-- Titus Lucretius Carus
 %
 Life is the childhood of our immortality.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 Life is the living you do,
 Death is the living you don't do.
@@ -31624,7 +31635,7 @@ as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
 %
 Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions,
 wins few friends, Germans excepted.
-		-- Darwin Porter "Scandinavia On $50 A Day"
+		-- Darwin Porter, "Scandinavia On $50 A Day"
 %
 Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
 Kennedy exactly one hundred years later in 1946.
@@ -31646,7 +31657,7 @@ Kennedy was succeeded by a Southerner named Johnson.
 The first Johnson was born in 1808.
 The second Johnson was born in 1908.
 
-		-- Alistair Cooke, "Letter From America", 26nov2001
+		-- Alistair Cooke, "Letter From America", Nov. 26, 2001
 %
 Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
 %
@@ -31861,7 +31872,7 @@ from NecroSoft inc., 6502 Charnelhouse Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44101.
 Loneliness is a terrible price to pay for independence.
 %
 Lonely is a man without love.
-		-- Englebert Humperdinck
+		-- Engelbert Humperdinck
 %
 Lonely men seek companionship.
 Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet.
@@ -32032,7 +32043,7 @@ arms about love you'll find you are left only holding yourself.
 %
 Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real
 with the ideal never goes unpunished.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
 		-- Dr. Karl Bowman
@@ -32081,7 +32092,7 @@ Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness.
 		-- M. Hirschfield
 %
 Love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
-		-- Saint Exupery
+		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 %
 Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
 		-- H. L. Mencken
@@ -32113,7 +32124,7 @@ That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
 Love means nothing to a tennis player.
 %
 Love tells us many things that are not so.
-		-- Krainian Proverb
+		-- Krainian proverb
 %
 Love the sea?  I dote upon it -- from the beach.
 %
@@ -32165,7 +32176,7 @@ Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.
 Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.
 		-- P. E. Trudeau
 %
-Lucky, adj:
+Lucky, adj.:
 	When you have a wife and a cigarette
 	lighter -- both of which work.
 %
@@ -32209,7 +32220,7 @@ Machines have less problems.  I'd like to be a machine.
 Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the
 repairman arrives.
 %
-macho, adj.:
+Macho, adj.:
 	Jogging home from your vasectomy.
 %
 Macho does not prove mucho.
@@ -32221,14 +32232,14 @@ Mad, adj.:
 %
 Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child --
 if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Madison's Inquiry:
 	If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
 %
 Madness takes its toll.
 %
-MAFIA, n:
+MAFIA, n.:
 	[Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance
 Accounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore
 subsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS.  MAFIA documentation is
@@ -32276,7 +32287,7 @@ Magpie, n.:
 MAIDEN AUNT:
 	A girl who never had the sense to say "uncle."
 %
-Maiden, n:
+Maiden, n.:
 	A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and
 	views that madden to crime.  The genus has a wide geographical
 	distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found.
@@ -32418,7 +32429,7 @@ Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
 %
 Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms
 with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
-		-- Samuel Butler, 1835-1902
+		-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
 %
 Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps;
 for he is the only animal that is struck with the
@@ -32491,12 +32502,12 @@ MANAGER:
 Mandrell: "You know what I think?"
 Doctor:   "Ah, ah that's a catch question.  With a brain your size you
 	  don't think, right?"
-		-- Dr. Who
+		-- "Doctor Who"
 %
-man-hour, n:
+Man-hour, n.:
 	A sexist, obsolete measure of macho effort, equal to 60 Kiplings.
 %
-MANIC-DEPRESSIVE:
+Manic-depressive, n.:
 	Easy glum, easy glow.
 %
 Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.
@@ -32524,7 +32535,7 @@ Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual
 conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in.
 		-- Sydney J. Harris
 %
-manual, n:
+Manual, n.:
 	A unit of documentation.  There are always three or more on a given
 	item.  One is on the shelf; someone has the others.  The information
 	you need is in the others.
@@ -32627,10 +32638,10 @@ Many people write memos to tell you they have nothing to say.
 Many receive advice, few profit by it.
 		-- Publilius Syrus
 %
-Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,
+Many years ago in a period commonly known as Next Friday Afternoon,
 there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he
 was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how
-completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday....
+completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...
 		-- Walt Kelly
 %
 Margaret, are you grieving
@@ -32733,8 +32744,8 @@ chopsticks.  It looks easy until you try it.
 Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
 		-- Baskins
 %
-Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucine, but sharing the
-burden of finding the fettucine restaurant in the first place.
+Marriage is not merely sharing the fettuccine, but sharing the
+burden of finding the fettuccine restaurant in the first place.
 		-- Calvin Trillin
 %
 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
@@ -32745,7 +32756,7 @@ kind of man your wife would have preferred.
 %
 Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions.
 %
-Marriage, n:
+Marriage, n.:
 	The evil aye.
 %
 Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth.
@@ -32757,14 +32768,14 @@ MARTA SAYS THE INTERESTING thing about fly-fishing is that its two lives
 connected by a thin strand.
 
 Come on, Marta, grow up.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 MARTA WAS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME with me when she said, "You know most
 of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its
 territory from invasion by another group."
 
 "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh.  Girls are funny.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Martin was probably ripping them off.  That's some family, isn't it?
 Incest, prostitution, fanaticism, software.
@@ -32844,7 +32855,7 @@ MATH AND ALCOHOL DON'T MIX!
 Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.
 		-- R. Drabek
 %
-mathematician, n:
+Mathematician, n.:
 	Some one who believes imaginary things appear right before your i's.
 %
 Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate
@@ -32891,7 +32902,7 @@ Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
 [Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment
 where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand
 more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.
-		-- S. Kierkegaard
+		-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
 %
 Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
 		-- Jules Feiffer
@@ -33009,7 +33020,7 @@ moonlit night, some horrible persona has been jabbing away at, dragging
 magnets over, and surging these voodoo boxen.  Fortunately, they seem to
 have gotten a bit bored and fallen asleep, for it looks like Cynthia may
 get to go home.  However, she has made note to quickly put together a totem
-of sweaty, sordid static straps, random bits of wire, flecks of once meaniful
+of sweaty, sordid static straps, random bits of wire, flecks of once meaningful
 oxide, bus grant cards, gummy worms, and some bits of old pdp backplane to
 hang above the machine room.  This totem must be blessed by the old and wise
 venerable god of unibus at once, before the idolatization of vme, q and pc
@@ -33028,7 +33039,7 @@ Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.
 %
 Meester, do you vant to buy a duck?
 %
-meeting, n:
+Meeting, n.:
 	An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
 	department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
 %
@@ -33055,7 +33066,7 @@ played.  I remember a bigger, older guy whom we called "Dad."  We'd eat
 some stuff or not and then I think we went home.
 
 I guess some things never leave you.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Memory fault -- brain fried
 %
@@ -33087,7 +33098,7 @@ thing they marry later; for another thing they die earlier.
 %
 Men have as exaggerated an idea of their
 rights as women have of their wrongs.
-		-- E. W. Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 Men live for three things, fast cars, fast women and fast food.
 %
@@ -33095,7 +33106,7 @@ Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
 %
 Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it
 from religious conviction.
-		-- Blaise Pascal, "Pens�es", 1670
+		-- Blaise Pascal, "Pens'ees", 1670
 %
 Men never make passes at girls wearing glasses.
 		-- Dorothy Parker
@@ -33118,7 +33129,7 @@ and tears.  ...  It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious,
 inspires us with dread and fear, whether by night or by day, brings us
 sleeplessness, inopportune mistakes, aimless anxieties, absent-mindedness
 and acts that are contrary to habit...
-		-- Hippocrates "The Sacred Disease"
+		-- Hippocrates, "The Sacred Disease"
 %
 Men say of women what pleases them; women do with men what pleases them.
 		-- DeSegur
@@ -33159,7 +33170,7 @@ Mencken and Nathan's Sixteenth Law of The Average American:
 	is possessed only by yokels, and no person born in a large city
 	can never hope to acquire it.
 %
-Mene, mene, tekel, upharsen.
+Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin.
 %
 Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to
 corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in
@@ -33217,7 +33228,8 @@ lylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalyl-
 glutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine, n.:
 	The chemical name for tryptophan synthetase A protein, a
 	1,913-letter enzyme with 267 amino acids.
-		-- Mrs. Bryne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and
+		-- Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and
+		   Preposterous Words
 %
 Mickey Mouse wears a Spiro Agnew watch.
 %
@@ -33238,7 +33250,7 @@ Mieux vaut tard que jamais!
 %
 Might as well be frank, monsieur.  It would take a miracle to
 get you out of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles.
-		-- Casablanca
+		-- Signor Ferrari, "Casablanca" (1942)
 %
 Mike:	"The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?"
 Bernie:	"Nobody ever empties the ashtrays.  People are SO
@@ -33259,7 +33271,7 @@ Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
 Miller's Slogan:
 	Lose a few, lose a few.
 %
-millihelen, adj:
+Millihelen, adj.:
 	The amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
 %
 Millions long for immortality who do not know what
@@ -33333,14 +33345,14 @@ Miss, n.:
 	women to indicate that they are in the market.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
-%
 Mistakeholder, n.:
-	A person who depends on accidental features or 
-	implementation errors and so now has a vested 
+	A person who depends on accidental features or
+	implementation errors and so now has a vested
 	interest in keeping things from being fixed.
 		-- Chip Morningstar
 %
+Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
+%
 Mistrust first impulses; they are always right.
 %
 MIT:
@@ -33359,7 +33371,7 @@ Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans;
 it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.
 		-- Horace
 %
-mixed emotions:
+Mixed emotions:
 	Watching a bus-load of lawyers plunge off a cliff.
 	With five empty seats.
 %
@@ -33388,7 +33400,7 @@ is crisp and golden.  Serve warm.  Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
 Modeling paged and segmented memories is tricky business.
 		-- P. J. Denning
 %
-modem, adj:
+Modem, adj.:
 	Up-to-date, new-fangled, as in "Thoroughly Modem Millie."  An
 	unfortunate byproduct of kerning.
 %
@@ -33558,7 +33570,7 @@ in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling
 of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.
 		-- Richard Henry Dama, "Two Years Before the Mast", 1840
 %
-moon, n:
+Moon, n.:
 	1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to
 hackers.  See PHASE OF THE MOON.  2. Dave Moon (MOON@MC).
 %
@@ -33566,7 +33578,7 @@ Moore's Constant:
 	Everybody sets out to do something, and everybody
 	does something, but no one does what he sets out to do.
 %
-mophobia, n:
+Mophobia, n.:
 	Fear of being verbally abused by a Mississippian.
 %
 More are taken in by hope than by cunning.
@@ -33700,14 +33712,14 @@ Most people don't need a great deal of love
 nearly so much as they need a steady supply.
 %
 Most people eat as though they were fattening themselves for market.
-		-- E. W. Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
 %
 Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained
 only by the disinclination of others to listen.  Reserve is an artificial
 quality that is developed in most of us as the result of innumerable rebuffs.
-		-- W. S. Maugham
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
 Most people have a mind that's open by appointment only.
 %
@@ -33755,7 +33767,7 @@ Mother is the invention of necessity.
 Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there
 would be so many.
 %
-Mother told me to be good but she's been wrong before.
+Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
 %
 Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they
 don't want them to become politicians in the process.
@@ -34022,7 +34034,7 @@ My father was a saint, I'm not.
 %
 My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce
 and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.
-		-- Senator Hubert Humphrey
+		-- Hubert H. Humphrey
 %
 My first basename is George "Catfish" Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh
 Pirates team, which lost 112 games.  After a terrible series against the
@@ -34178,7 +34190,7 @@ Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.
 %
 My rackets are run on strictly American
 lines, and they're going to stay that way.
-		-- A. Capone
+		-- Al Capone
 %
 My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
 spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
@@ -34353,7 +34365,7 @@ given them little.
 %
 Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it
 cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
-		-- Fran Leibowitz
+		-- Fran Lebowitz
 %
 Nature makes boys and girls lovely to look upon so they can be
 tolerated until they acquire some sense.
@@ -34432,7 +34444,7 @@ Nemo me impune lacessit
 	[No one provokes me with impunity]
 		-- Motto of the Crown of Scotland
 %
-nerd pack, n:
+Nerd pack, n.:
 	Plastic pouch worn in breast pocket to keep pens from soiling
 	clothes.  Nerd's position in engineering hierarchy can be
 	measured by number of pens, grease pencils, and rulers bristling
@@ -34454,7 +34466,7 @@ Neutrinos are into physicists.
 %
 Neutrinos have bad breadth.
 %
-neutron bomb, n:
+Neutron bomb, n.:
 	An explosive device of limited military value because, as
 	it only destroys people without destroying property, it
 	must be used in conjunction with bombs that destroy property.
@@ -34558,7 +34570,7 @@ Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
 Never kick a man, unless he's down.
 %
 Never laugh at live dragons.
-		-- Bilbo Baggins
+		-- Bilbo Baggins, "The Hobbit"
 %
 Never leave anything to chance;
 make sure all your crimes are premeditated.
@@ -34663,7 +34675,7 @@ Never trust anyone who says money is no object.
 %
 Never try to explain computers to a layman.  It's easier to explain
 sex to a virgin.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 
 (Note, however, that virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)
 %
@@ -34679,7 +34691,7 @@ Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes.
 Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
 %
 Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 Never use "etc." -- it makes people think there is more where
 there is not or that there is not space to list it all, etc.
@@ -34691,7 +34703,7 @@ Never worry about theory as long as the
 machinery does what it's supposed to do.
 		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
-new, adj:
+New, adj.:
 	Different color from previous model.
 %
 New crypt.  See /usr/news/crypt.
@@ -34756,7 +34768,7 @@ It was.  Age 31.
 %
 Newspaper editors are men who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then
 print the chaff.
-		-- Adlai Stevenson
+		-- Adlai E. Stevenson
 %
 Newton's Fourth Law:  Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
 %
@@ -34850,7 +34862,7 @@ absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.
 No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
 		-- William Blake
 %
-no brainer:
+No brainer, n.:
 	A decision which, viewed through the retrospectoscope,
 	is "obvious" to those who failed to make it originally.
 %
@@ -34866,7 +34878,7 @@ No Civil War picture ever made a nickel.
 No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a
 camel -- anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform
 effectively under such difficult conditions.
-		-- Laurence J. Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 No directory.
 %
@@ -34877,8 +34889,8 @@ lectures which are really worth the attending.
 No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself
 on the grounds that it was human nature.
 %
-No, `Eureka' is Greek for `This bath is too hot.'
-		-- Dr. Who
+No, "Eureka" is Greek for "This bath is too hot."
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 No evil can happen to a good man.
 		-- Plato
@@ -34908,7 +34920,7 @@ No guts, no glory.
 %
 No hardware designer should be allowed to produce any piece of hardware
 until three software guys have signed off for it.
-		-- Andy Tanenbaum
+		-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
 %
 No, his mind is not for rent
 To any god or government.
@@ -34948,7 +34960,7 @@ doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone
 of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
 		-- Shirley Jackson, "The Haunting of Hill House"
 %
-no maintenance:
+No maintenance:
 	Impossible to fix.
 %
 No man can have a reasonable opinion of women until he has long lost
@@ -34976,7 +34988,7 @@ and if we are loved we are indispensable.
 		-- Robert Louis Stevenson
 %
 No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
-		-- E. W. Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 No man's ambition has a right to stand in
 the way of performing a simple act of justice.
@@ -35154,7 +35166,7 @@ May beat admission in a thousand years.
 %
 No self-made man ever did such a good job
 that some woman didn't want to make some alterations.
-		-- Kim Hubbard
+		-- Kin Hubbard
 %
 No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in that kind of
 paper.
@@ -35165,7 +35177,7 @@ No skis take rocks like rental skis!
 %
 No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary
 for that purpose to keep awake all day.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
 %
@@ -35180,7 +35192,7 @@ No spitting on the Bus!
 Thank you, The Management.
 %
 No television performance takes as much preparation as an off-the-cuff talk.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 No two persons ever read the same book.
 		-- Edmund Wilson
@@ -35196,11 +35208,11 @@ she will or will not be a mother.
 		-- Margaret H. Sanger
 %
 No woman can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.
-		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
+		-- Lord Thomas Robert Dewar
 %
 No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of
 him than he deserves.
-		-- Edgar Watson Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 No wonder Clairol makes so much money selling shampoo.
 Lather, Rinse, Repeat is an infinite loop!
@@ -35209,29 +35221,6 @@ No wonder you're tired!  You understood so much today.
 %
 No yak too dirty; no dumpster too hollow.
 %
-Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.  Weiner was, in
-fact, very absent minded.  The following story is told about him: when they
-moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely
-useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move.  Since
-she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had
-moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to
-him.  Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him.  He
-reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled
-some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and
-threw the piece of paper away.  At the end of the day he went home (to the
-old address in Cambridge, of course).  When he got there he realized that they
-had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of
-paper with the address was long gone.  Fortunately inspiration struck.  There
-was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where
-he had moved to, saying, "Excuse me, perhaps you know me.  I'm Norbert Weiner
-and we've just moved.  Would you know where we've moved to?"  To which the
-young girl replied, "Yes, Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget."
-	The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the
-story) about the truth of the story, many years later.  She said that it wasn't
-quite true -- that he never forgot who his children were!  The rest of it,
-however, was pretty close to what actually happened...
-		-- Richard Harter
-%
 Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
 %
 Nobody can be exactly like me.  Sometimes even I have trouble doing
@@ -35309,11 +35298,11 @@ Noise proves nothing.  Often a hen who has
 merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
-nolo contendere:
+Nolo contendere:
 	A legal term meaning: "I didn't do it, judge, and I'll never do
 	it again."
 %
-nominal egg:
+Nominal egg:
 	New Yorkerese for expensive.
 %
 Noncombatant, n.:
@@ -35356,6 +35345,29 @@ No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good
 intentions.  He had money as well.
 		-- Margaret Thatcher
 %
+Norbert Wiener was the subject of many dotty professor stories.  Wiener was, in
+fact, very absent minded.  The following story is told about him: when they
+moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely
+useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move.  Since
+she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had
+moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to
+him.  Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him.  He
+reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled
+some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and
+threw the piece of paper away.  At the end of the day he went home (to the
+old address in Cambridge, of course).  When he got there he realized that they
+had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of
+paper with the address was long gone.  Fortunately inspiration struck.  There
+was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where
+he had moved to, saying, "Excuse me, perhaps you know me.  I'm Norbert Wiener
+and we've just moved.  Would you know where we've moved to?"  To which the
+young girl replied, "Yes, Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget."
+	The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the
+story) about the truth of the story, many years later.  She said that it wasn't
+quite true -- that he never forgot who his children were!  The rest of it,
+however, was pretty close to what actually happened...
+		-- Richard Harter
+%
 Norm:	Hey, everybody.
 All:	[silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich.]
 Norm:	[Carries on both sides of the conversation himself.]
@@ -35449,7 +35461,7 @@ All:   Anton!
 		-- Cheers, The Two Faces of Norm
 
 Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
-Norm:  A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.''
+Norm:  A flashing sign in my gut that says, "Insert beer here."
 		-- Cheers, Call Me, Irresponsible
 
 Sam:	What can I get you, Norm?
@@ -35498,11 +35510,11 @@ chipped at it a bit, and everything was just fine ...
 		-- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
 %
 Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is
 ugly and the paper is from the wrong kind of tree.
-		-- Professor, EECS, George Washington University
+		-- Professor W., EECS, George Washington University
 
 I'm looking forward to working with you on this next year.
 		-- Professor, Harvard, on a senior thesis
@@ -35538,7 +35550,7 @@ and/or frogs falling from the sky.
 %
 Note: The system panics with a "NULL pointer dereference" message
 
-Failed due to : SunOS 5.8 is installed.
+Failed due to: SunOS 5.8 is installed.
 		-- Output of a SunCheckup run on a Solaris 8 machine
 %
 Note to myself: use real bullets next time.
@@ -35633,7 +35645,7 @@ Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely
 repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because
 the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult
 which can be offered to a personality.
-		-- Soren Kierkegaard
+		-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
 %
 Nothing recedes like success.
 		-- Walter Winchell
@@ -35680,7 +35692,7 @@ I said oh, you can leave it.
 		-- Al Stewart, "If It Doesn't Come Naturally, Leave It"
 %
 Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
-		-- Kim Hubbard
+		-- Kin Hubbard
 %
 Nothing will ever be attempted
 if all possible objections must be first overcome.
@@ -35696,16 +35708,16 @@ NOTICE:
 
 (The nearest working elevator is in the building across the street.)
 %
-Nouvelle cuisine, n:
+Nouvelle cuisine, n.:
 	French for "not enough food".
 
-Continental breakfast, n:
+Continental breakfast, n.:
 	English for "not enough food".
 
-Tapas, n:
+Tapas, n.:
 	Spanish for "not enough food".
 
-Dim Sum, n:
+Dim Sum, n.:
 	Chinese for more food than you've ever seen in your entire life.
 %
 November, n.:
@@ -35912,7 +35924,7 @@ O imitators, you slavish herd!
 O, it is excellent
 To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous
 To use it like a giant.
-		-- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2
+		-- William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2
 %
 O Lord, grant that we may always be right,
 for Thou knowest we will never change our minds.
@@ -36016,7 +36028,7 @@ Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.
 Of what you see in books, believe 75%.  Of newspapers, believe 50%.  And of
 TV news, believe 25% -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.
 %
-Office Automation:
+Office Automation, n.:
 	The use of computers to improve efficiency in the office
 	by removing anyone you would want to talk with over coffee.
 %
@@ -36085,7 +36097,7 @@ Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
 	Where the three-body problem is solved,
 	Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
 	And the cold virus never evolved.			(chorus)
-We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
+We eat algae pie, our vacuum is high,
 	Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
 	Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
 	And a kilogram weighs half a pound.			(chorus)
@@ -36155,7 +36167,7 @@ Shooting up my veins,
 Tell you, I've been a-thinkin'
 I could drive a shiny Lincoln,
 If I dealt in good cocaine.
-		-- To 'If I Only Had A Brain' from "The Wizard of Oz"
+		-- To "If I Only Had A Brain" from "The Wizard of Oz"
 %
 Oh, I don't blame Congress.  If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd
 be irresponsible, too.
@@ -36177,7 +36189,7 @@ Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
 And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
 The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
 Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
-		-- John Gillespie Magee Jr., "High Flight"
+		-- John Gillespie Magee, Jr., "High Flight"
 %
 Oh I'm just a typical American boy
 From a typical American town.
@@ -36239,7 +36251,7 @@ Born under one law, to another bound.
 Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
 %
 Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Oh, when I was in love with you,
 	Then I was clean and brave,
@@ -36254,10 +36266,10 @@ And miles around they'll say that I
 %
 Oh, wow!  Look at the moon!
 %
-Oh, ya doesn't have ta call me 'Johnson'!  Well, you can call me 'Ray', or
-you can call me 'Jay', or you can call me 'R.J.', or you can call me 'Ray
-J.', or you can call me 'R.J.J.', or you can call me 'Ray J. Johnson', or
-you can call me 'R.J. Johnson', but ya DOESN'T have to call me 'Johnson'...
+Oh, ya doesn't have ta call me "Johnson"!  Well, you can call me "Ray", or
+you can call me "Jay", or you can call me "R. J.", or you can call me "Ray
+J.", or you can call me "R. J. J.", or you can call me "Ray J. Johnson", or
+you can call me "R. J. Johnson", but ya DOESN'T have to call me "Johnson" ...
 %
 Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone.
 		-- John Cougar, "Jack and Diane"
@@ -36323,13 +36335,13 @@ Old programmers never die, they just hit account block limit.
 %
 Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
 %
-Old timer, n:
+Old timer, n.:
 	One who remembers when charity was a virtue and not an organization.
 %
 Olivier's Law:
 	Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 %
-omnibiblious, adj.:
+Omnibiblious, adj.:
 	Indifferent to type of drink.  Ex: "Oh, you can get me anything.
 	I'm omnibiblious."
 %
@@ -36394,7 +36406,7 @@ On the subject of C program indentation:
 		-- Blair P. Houghton
 %
 On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
-		-- W.C. Fields' epitaph
+		-- W. C. Fields' epitaph
 %
 On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], "Pray, Mr.
 Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers
@@ -36404,7 +36416,7 @@ ideas that could provoke such a question.
 %
 Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew,
 and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
-		-- W.C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
+		-- W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
 %
 Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
 		-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)
@@ -36457,16 +36469,16 @@ each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his
 choice.
 
 In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians
-called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka"
+called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukkah"
 and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People
 passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy
-Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
+Hanukkah!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
 		-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
 %
 Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
 Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
 Disraeli replied, "That all depends upon whether I embrace your
-principles or your mistress".
+principals or your mistress."
 %
 Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
 		-- Homer
@@ -36799,7 +36811,7 @@ many ...
 		-- Anthony Chevins
 %
 One man's constant is another man's variable.
-		-- A. J. Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 One man's folly is another man's wife.
 		-- Helen Rowland
@@ -36860,7 +36872,7 @@ to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't
 be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending
 to be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't
 understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.  He was
-reknowned for being quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the
+renowned for being quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the
 time, which obviously worried him, hence the act.  He preferred people to be
 puzzled rather than contemptuous.  This above all appeared to Trillian to be
 genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.
@@ -36937,9 +36949,6 @@ One planet is all you get.
 One possible reason that things aren't going according to plan
 is that there never was a plan in the first place.
 %
-One possible reason why things aren't going
-according to plan is that there never was a plan.
-%
 One promising concept that I came up with right away was that you could
 manufacture personal air bags, then get a law passed requiring that
 they be installed on congressmen to keep them from taking trips.  Let's
@@ -36995,7 +37004,7 @@ cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke.
 
 I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty
 late.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 One thing the inventors can't seem to
 get the bugs out of is fresh paint.
@@ -37029,7 +37038,7 @@ One would like to stroke and caress human beings, but one dares not do so,
 because they bite.
 		-- Vladimir Lenin
 %
-One-Shot Case Study, n:
+One-Shot Case Study, n.:
 	The scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover, from which
 	it is concluded all clovers possess four leaves and are sometimes green.
 %
@@ -37040,7 +37049,7 @@ On-line, adj.:
 Only a fool has no doubts.
 %
 Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
-		-- Laurence Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
 %
@@ -37126,7 +37135,7 @@ Oppernockity tunes but once.
 Opportunities are usually disguised as hard
 work, so most people don't recognize them.
 %
-Oprah Winfrey has an incredible talent for getting the wierdest people to
+Oprah Winfrey has an incredible talent for getting the weirdest people to
 talk to.  And you just HAVE to watch it.  "Blind, masochistic minority,
 crippled, depressed, government latrine diggers, and the women who love
 them too much on the next Oprah Winfrey."
@@ -37134,7 +37143,7 @@ them too much on the next Oprah Winfrey."
 Optimism is the content of small men in high places.
 		-- F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Crack Up"
 %
-Optimism, n:
+Optimism, n.:
 The belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, good, bad,
 and everything right that is wrong.  It is held with greatest tenacity by
 those accustomed to falling into adversity, and most acceptably expounded
@@ -37142,11 +37151,7 @@ with the grin that apes a smile.  Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible
 to the light of disproof -- an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment
 but death.  It is hereditary, but not contagious.
 %
-Optimist:
-	Someone who goes down to the marriage
-	bureau to see if his license has expired.
-%
-Optimist, n:
+Optimist, n.:
 	A bagpiper with a beeper.
 %
 Optimist, n.:
@@ -37160,6 +37165,10 @@ would justify them."
 something -- the mortality of the optimist."
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
+Optimist, n.:
+	Someone who goes down to the marriage
+	bureau to see if his license has expired.
+%
 Optimization hinders evolution.
 %
 Oral sex is like being attacked by a giant snail.
@@ -37355,7 +37364,7 @@ move?'
 %
 Overdrawn?  But I still have checks left!
 %
-Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
+Overflow on /dev/null: please empty the bit bucket.
 %
 Overheard:
 	"How do I feel?  Great!  And I kiss pretty good, too!"
@@ -37439,7 +37448,7 @@ panic: kernel trap (ignored)
 %
 Paprika Measure:
 
-	2 dashes    ==  1smidgen
+	2 dashes    ==  1 smidgen
 	2 smidgens  ==  1 pinch
 	3 pinches   ==  1 soupcon
 	2 soupcons  ==  too much paprika
@@ -37488,7 +37497,7 @@ Parker's Law:
 	Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
 %
 Parkinson's Fifth Law:
-	If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good
+	If there is a way to delay an important decision, the good
 	bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
 %
 Parkinson's Fourth Law:
@@ -37554,7 +37563,7 @@ A:	No, you SINGE 'em.  You SINGE 'em and eat 'em.  *I* read about the
 P:	Squirrels eating squirrels -- my GOD, that's sick!
 A:	That's sick, SURE.  But a MAN eating a squirrel -- that's (heh, heh)
 	par for the course, Charlie.
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 Patageometry, n.:
 	The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant
@@ -37563,7 +37572,7 @@ under brain transplants.
 Patch griefs with proverbs.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"
 %
-patent:
+Patent, v.:
 	A method of publicizing inventions so others can copy them.
 %
 "Pathetic," he said.  "That's what it is.  Pathetic."
@@ -37615,7 +37624,7 @@ Pause for storage relocation.
 Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
 		-- Frank Morgan as The Wizard, "The Wizard of Oz"
 %
-paycheck:
+Paycheck, n.:
 	The weekly $5.27 that remains after deductions for federal
 	withholding, state withholding, city withholding, FICA,
 	medical/dental, long-term disability, unemployment insurance,
@@ -37640,11 +37649,11 @@ Peace be to this house, and all that dwell in it.
 %
 Peace cannot be kept by force; it
 can only be achieved by understanding.
-		-- A. Einstein
+		-- Albert Einstein
 %
 Peace is much more precious than a piece
 of land... let there be no more wars.
-		-- Mohammed Anwar Sadat, 1918-1981
+		-- Mohammed Anwar Sadat (1918-1981)
 %
 Peace, n.:
 	In international affairs, a period of cheating between two
@@ -37707,7 +37716,7 @@ if he didn't understand people; and how could he have done that if people
 weren't easy to understand?  You show me someone who can't understand
 people and I'll show you someone who has built up a false image of himself
 -- no offense intended."
-		-- Asimov, "Foundation's Edge"
+		-- Isaac Asimov, "Foundation's Edge"
 %
 Penguin Trivia #46:
 	Animals who are not penguins can only wish they were.
@@ -37715,7 +37724,7 @@ Penguin Trivia #46:
 %
 PENGUINICITY!!
 %
-pension:
+Pension, n.:
 	A federally insured chain letter.
 %
 People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of
@@ -37844,7 +37853,7 @@ or
 %
 Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
 %
-perfect guest:
+Perfect guest, n.:
 	One who makes his host feel at home.
 %
 Perfection is finally attained, not when there is no longer
@@ -37883,7 +37892,7 @@ Periphrasis is the putting of things in a round-about way.  "The cost may be
 upwards of a figure rather below 10m#." is a periphrasis for The cost may be
 nearly 10m#.  "In Paris there reigns a complete absence of really reliable
 news" is a periphrasis for There is no reliable news in Paris.  "Rarely does
-the 'Little Summer' linger until November, but at times its stay has been
+the `Little Summer' linger until November, but at times its stay has been
 prolonged until quite late in the year's penultimate month" contains a
 periphrasis for November, and another for lingers.  "The answer is in the
 negative" is a periphrasis for No.  "Was made the recipient of" is a
@@ -37914,15 +37923,15 @@ persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
 to find a plot in it will be shot.  By Order of the Author
 		-- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"
 %
-pessimist:
+Pessimist, n.:
 	A man who spends all his time worrying about how he can keep the
 	wolf from the door.
 
-optimist:
+Optimist, n.:
 	A man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of
 	his pants.
 
-opportunist:
+Opportunist, n.:
 	A man who invites the wolf in and appears the next day in a fur coat.
 %
 Pete:	Waiter, this meat is bad.
@@ -37976,10 +37985,10 @@ exciting Camden, New Jersey.
 %
 Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.
 %
-philosophy:
+Philosophy, n.:
 	The ability to bear with calmness the misfortunes of our friends.
 %
-philosophy:
+Philosophy, n.:
 	Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
 %
 Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
@@ -37987,7 +37996,7 @@ Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
 %
 Phone call for chucky-pooh.
 %
-Phosflink, v:
+Phosflink, v.:
 	To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow,
 	that will bring it back to life).
 		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
@@ -38066,7 +38075,7 @@ So I piped with merry cheer.
 So I piped: he wept to hear.
 		-- William Blake, "Songs of Innocence"
 %
-Pipo was born with few complications, but then the doctor accidently dropped
+Pipo was born with few complications, but then the doctor accidentally dropped
 the infant on her head provoking her drunken father to drag the physician
 outside where he would beat him to death with a live ocelot.
 		-- Love and Rockets
@@ -38093,7 +38102,7 @@ PISCES (Feb.19 - Mar.20)
 Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
 		-- Don Marquis
 %
-pixel, n:
+Pixel, n.:
 	A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays.
 	The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology:
 	Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial
@@ -38246,7 +38255,7 @@ Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose.
 Pohl's law:
 	Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.
 %
-poisoned coffee, n:
+Poisoned coffee, n.:
 	Grounds for divorce.
 %
 Poland has gun control.
@@ -38265,7 +38274,7 @@ Host:	Oh, the noise.  Well that makes sense because there are no guns
 Police:	No, the neighbors fled inland hours ago.  Most of the recent
 	complaints have come from Pittsburgh.  Do you think you could
 	ask the host to quiet things down?
-Host:	No Problem.  (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive
+Host:	No Problem.  (At this point, a Volkswagen bug with primitive
 	religious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living
 	room and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the
 	lawn, where it smashes into a tree.  Eight guests tumble out
@@ -38453,7 +38462,7 @@ poor people.
 		-- Don Herold
 %
 Power and ignorance is a detestable cocktail.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.
 		-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987
@@ -38471,7 +38480,7 @@ Power, like a desolating pestilence,
 Pollutes whate'er it touches...
 		-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
 %
-Power, n:
+Power, n.:
 	The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.
 %
 Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
@@ -38508,7 +38517,7 @@ Praise the sea; on shore remain.
 Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
 		-- Russian Proverb
 %
-Pray, v:
+Pray, v.:
 	To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf
 	of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
@@ -38523,7 +38532,7 @@ Prejudice, n.:
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
 Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
-		-- D. E. Knuth
+		-- Donald E. Knuth
 %
 Preserve the old, but know the new.
 %
@@ -38619,7 +38628,7 @@ PROGRAM:
 	"sales program," or "marketing program"), its implementation
 	always justifies hiring at least three more people.
 %
-program, n:
+Program, n.:
 	A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input
 	into error messages.  tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging
 	one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
@@ -38638,7 +38647,6 @@ Programming is an unnatural act.
 Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
 build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying
 to produce bigger and better idiots.  So far, the Universe is winning.
-
 		-- Rich Cook
 %
 PROGRESS:
@@ -38749,11 +38757,11 @@ POPI	Punch Operator Immediately
 PVLC	Punch Variable Length Card
 RASC	Read And Shred Card
 RPM	Read Programmers Mind
-RSSC	reduce speed, step carefully  (for improved accuracy)
-RTAB	Rewind tape and break
-RWDSK	rewind disk
+RSSC	Reduce Speed, Step Carefully (for improved accuracy)
+RTAB	Rewind Tape and Break
+RWDSK	Rewind Disk
 RWOC	Read Writing On Card
-SCRBL	scribble to disk  - faster than a write
+SCRBL	Scribble to disk - faster than a write
 SLC	Search for Lost Chord
 SPSW	Scramble Program Status Word
 SRSD	Seek Record and Scar Disk
@@ -38796,7 +38804,7 @@ three friends.  If they're OK, you're it.
 %
 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'
 shortcomings.
-		-- Laurence J. Peter, "Peter's Principles"
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter, "Peter's Principles"
 %
 Psychics will soon lead dogs to your body.
 %
@@ -38809,7 +38817,7 @@ Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
 Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
 		-- Carl G. Jung
 %
-psychologist, n:
+Psychologist, n.:
 	Someone who watches everyone else when an attractive woman walks
 	into a room.
 %
@@ -38866,7 +38874,7 @@ PURITAN:
 Puritanism -- the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 		-- H. L. Mencken, "A Book of Burlesques"
 %
-Purpitation, v:
+Purpitation, v.:
 	To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you
 	don't want it, and then put it in another section.
 		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
@@ -38966,8 +38974,8 @@ A:	The tame way!
 %
 Q:	How do you keep a moron in suspense?
 %
-Q.	How do you keep an Aggie busy at a terminal?
-A.	While he's not looking, switch it to "local".
+Q:	How do you keep an Aggie busy at a terminal?
+A:	While he's not looking, switch it to "local".
 %
 Q:	How do you know when you're in the <ethnic> section of Vermont?
 A:	The maple sap buckets are hanging on utility poles.
@@ -39315,8 +39323,8 @@ Q:	What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
 	is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
 A:	A deep C diva.
 %
-Q.	What do you call a TV set that fixes itself?
-A.	A Christian Science Monitor.
+Q:	What do you call a TV set that fixes itself?
+A:	A Christian Science Monitor.
 %
 Q:	What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
 	lawyer, and believes in social causes?
@@ -39427,7 +39435,7 @@ Q:	What's bruised, bleeding, and lies in a ditch?
 A:	Somebody who tells Aggie jokes.
 %
 Q:	What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
-A:	A doberman.
+A:	A Doberman.
 %
 Q:	What's the Blonde's cheer?
 A:	I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N... ah, oh well..
@@ -39439,8 +39447,8 @@ A:	Artificial intelligence.
 Q:	How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
 A:	Shine a flashlight in their ear.
 %
-Q.	What's the capital of Canada?
-A.	American.
+Q:	What's the capital of Canada?
+A:	American.
 %
 Q:	What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
 	lawyer in the road?
@@ -39461,8 +39469,8 @@ A:	One more drunk.
 Q:	What's the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America?
 A:	The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
 %
-Q.	What's the difference between Los Angeles and yogurt?
-A.	Yogurt has a living, active culture.
+Q:	What's the difference between Los Angeles and yogurt?
+A:	Yogurt has a living, active culture.
 %
 Q:	What's the difference between USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
 A:	The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
@@ -39513,7 +39521,7 @@ Q:	Why did the germ cross the microscope?
 A:	To get to the other slide.
 %
 Q:	Why did the lone ranger kill Tonto?
-A:	He found out what "kimosabe" really means.
+A:	He found out what "kemosabe" really means.
 %
 Q:	Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"?
 A:	Because he left a residue at every pole.
@@ -39589,9 +39597,6 @@ A:	It wasn't IBM compatible.
 QED.
 %
 QOTD:
-	 "It's not the despair... I can stand the despair.  It's the hope."
-%
-QOTD:
 	"A child of 5 could understand this!  Fetch me a child of 5."
 %
 QOTD:
@@ -39650,7 +39655,7 @@ QOTD:
 	"I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent."
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I am not sure what this is, but an 'F' would only dignify it."
+	"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the
@@ -39664,7 +39669,7 @@ QOTD:
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down,
-	then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble.'"
+	then I thought `One of us is in real trouble.'"
 		-- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash
 %
 QOTD:
@@ -39690,7 +39695,7 @@ QOTD:
 	horse with one of the horns broken off."
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I treat her like a throughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"
+	"I treat her like a thoroughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
@@ -39796,6 +39801,9 @@ QOTD:
 	"It's men like him that give the Y chromosome a bad name."
 %
 QOTD:
+	"It's not the despair... I can stand the despair.  It's the hope."
+%
+QOTD:
 	"It's sort of a threat, you see.  I've never been very good at
 	them myself, but I'm told they can be very effective."
 %
@@ -39973,7 +39981,7 @@ QUARK:
 Quark!  Quark!  Beware the quantum duck!
 %
 question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
-		-- Wm. Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 QUESTION AUTHORITY.
 
@@ -40020,7 +40028,7 @@ Qvid me anxivs svm?
 %
 Radicalism:
 	The conservatism of tomorrow injected into the affairs of today.
-		-- A. Bierce
+		-- Ambrose Bierce
 %
 RADIO SHACK LEVEL II BASIC
 READY
@@ -40048,7 +40056,7 @@ realise that you are in a hurry.
 %
 RAM wasn't built in a day.
 %
-Random, n:
+Random, n.:
 	as in number, predictable.
 	as in memory access, unpredictable.
 %
@@ -40067,7 +40075,7 @@ Do you use the "greasy kid's stuff" to stick down your cowlick?
 Do you wear a "nerd-pack" in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
 	or so pencils from marking the cloth?
 Do you think Mary Jane is somebody's name?
-Is illegal fishing is something only a daring criminal would do?
+Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
 Is Batman your hero?  Superman?  Green Lantern?  The Shadow?
 Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?
 
@@ -40240,8 +40248,8 @@ Real World, The n.:
 be used in the same sentence as FORTRAN, COBOL, RPG, IBM, etc.  2. To
 programmers, the location of non-programmers and activities not related
 to programming.  3. A universe in which the standard dress is shirt and
-tie and in which a person's working hours are defined as 9 to 5.  4.
-The location of the status quo.  5. Anywhere outside a university.
+tie and in which a person's working hours are defined as 9 to 5.
+4. The location of the status quo.  5. Anywhere outside a university.
 "Poor fellow, he's left MIT and gone into the real world."  Used
 pejoratively by those not in residence there.  In conversation, talking
 of someone who has entered the real world is not unlike talking about a
@@ -40282,7 +40290,7 @@ cannot be fooled.
 %
 Really??  What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
 %
-Reappraisal, n:
+Reappraisal, n.:
 	An abrupt change of mind after being found out.
 %
 Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
@@ -40308,14 +40316,14 @@ Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says:
 "'Close to You'.  Hit it, boys!"
 		-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller
 %
-Reception area, n:
+Reception area, n.:
 	The purgatory where office visitors are condemned to spend
 	innumerable hours reading dog-eared back issues of trade
 	magazines like Modern Plastics, Chain Saw Age, and Chicken World,
 	while the receptionist blithely reads her own trade magazine --
 	Cosmopolitan.
 %
-Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you
+Recession is when your neighbor loses his job.  Depression is when you
 lose your job.  These economic downturns are very difficult to predict,
 but sophisticated econometric modeling houses like Data Resources and
 Chase Econometrics have successfully predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions.
@@ -40377,7 +40385,7 @@ knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
 has no need to put up a front of any kind.
 		-- John Ball, "Mark One: the Dummy"
 %
-Reliable source, n:
+Reliable source, n.:
 	The guy you just met.
 %
 Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
@@ -40426,7 +40434,7 @@ the first one.
 %
 Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's
 *not* the U.S. Army doing it!
-		-- Good Morning, Vietnam
+		-- "Good Morning, Vietnam"
 %
 Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure
 that you're the one holding it.
@@ -40524,7 +40532,7 @@ Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi):
 		Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?
 Gandhi:		I think it would be a good idea.
 %
-Reputation, adj:
+Reputation, adj.:
 	What others are not thinking about you.
 %
 Research is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works
@@ -40537,7 +40545,7 @@ and think what nobody else has thought.
 Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
 		-- Wernher von Braun
 %
-Research, n:
+Research, n.:
 	Consider Columbus:
 	He didn't know where he was going.
 	When he got there he didn't know where he was.
@@ -40557,7 +40565,7 @@ is to take the blame for your mistakes.  If they're smart, that is.
 Retirement means that when someone says "Have a nice day", you
 actually have a shot at it.
 %
-Reunite Gondwondaland!
+Reunite Gondwanaland!
 %
 Rev. Jim:	What does an amber light mean?
 Bobby:		Slow down.
@@ -40586,14 +40594,14 @@ Review Questions
 	a pyramid, how soon will Johnson's pyramid be larger than King
 	Tut's?  When will it fall on him?  Will he notice?
 %
-Revolution, n:
+Revolution, n.:
 	A form of government abroad.
 %
 Revolution, n.:
 	In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-revolutionary, adj:
+Revolutionary, adj.:
 	Repackaged.
 %
 Rhode's Law:
@@ -40627,7 +40635,7 @@ Renault:	"I'm shocked!  Shocked!  To find that gambling is
 Croupier (handing money to Renault):
 		"Your winnings, sir."
 Renault:	"Oh.  Thank you very much."
-		-- Casablanca
+		-- "Casablanca" (1942)
 %
 Riffle West Virginia is so small that the
 Boy Scout had to double as the town drunk.
@@ -40647,13 +40655,13 @@ Ritchie's Rule:
 	(2) Paint splashes last longer than the paint job.
 	(3) Search and ye shall find -- but make sure it was lost.
 %
-Robot, n:
+Robot, n.:
 	Someone who's been made by a scientist.
 %
-Robot, n:
+Robot, n.:
 	University administrator.
 %
-Robustness, adj:
+Robustness, adj.:
 	Never having to say you're sorry.
 %
 Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention
@@ -40717,7 +40725,7 @@ Rudin's Second Law:
 	courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible
 	course.
 %
-rugby, n:
+Rugby, n.:
 	Elegant violence.
 
 	(Rugby players eat their dead.)
@@ -40798,9 +40806,9 @@ Rules for Good Grammar #4.
 12:	Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
 13:	Correct speling is essential.
 14:	A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.
-15:	While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
+15:	While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
 	careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not
-	become ensconsed in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.
+	become ensconced in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.
 %
 Rules for Writers:
 	Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don't use no double
@@ -40834,7 +40842,7 @@ RULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED
 	     can always eat it later.
 	(10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.
 	(11) Avoid blue food.
-		-- Richard Smit, "The Bronx Diet"
+		-- Richard Smith, "The Bronx Diet"
 %
 Ruling a big country is like cooking a small fish.
 		-- Lao Tsu
@@ -40883,7 +40891,7 @@ Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
 SADISM:
 	A sadist refusing to whip a masochist.
 %
-sadoequinecrophilia, n:
+Sadoequinecrophilia, n.:
 	Beating a dead horse.
 %
 Safety Third.
@@ -41175,7 +41183,7 @@ shoulder.  His eyebrows are raised, matter-of-factly, as he spies the boy
 intently watching him.
 
 Caption:
-	"I'm sorry you've seen me, Billy.  Now I'll have to kill you.
+	I'm sorry you've seen me, Billy.  Now I'll have to kill you.
 %
 Schapiro's Explanation:
 	The grass is always greener on the other side --
@@ -41213,12 +41221,12 @@ To the late night, double feature, Picture show.
 Science is built up of facts, as a house is with stones.  But a
 collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones
 is a house.
-		-- Jules Henri Poincare
+		-- Jules Henri Poincar'e
 %
 Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made
 of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts
 is not necessarily science.
-		-- Henri Poincair'e
+		-- Jules Henri Poincar'e
 %
 Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes
 out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
@@ -41244,10 +41252,10 @@ To seek a shelter in some happier star?
 Hast thou not torn the Naiad from her flood,
 The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
 The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?
-		-- Edgar Allen Poe, "Science, a Sonnet"
+		-- Edgar Allan Poe, "Science, a Sonnet"
 %
 Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.
-		-- William Buckley
+		-- William F. Buckley
 
 %
 Scientists still know less about what attracts men
@@ -41264,11 +41272,11 @@ was a loud crash, and a bolt of lightning came down from the sky,
 struck the computers, and welded all the connections permanently
 together.  "There is now", came the reply.
 %
-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific,
 Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
 Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous.
-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific.
 %
 Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance.
@@ -41317,7 +41325,7 @@ Scribline, n.:
 %
 Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the
 Presidency.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!
 		-- Robert James Marshall (Jimi) Hendrix
@@ -41343,7 +41351,7 @@ Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
 Secretary's Revenge:
 	Filing almost everything under "the".
 %
-"Section 2.4.3.5   AWNS   (Acceptor Wait for New Cycle State).
+Section 2.4.3.5   AWNS   (Acceptor Wait for New Cycle State).
 	In AWNS the AH function indicates that it has received a
 multiline message byte.
 	In AWNS the RFD message must be sent false and the DAC message
@@ -41352,7 +41360,7 @@ must be sent passive true.
 	(1)  The ANRS if DAV is false
 	(2)  The AIDS if the ATN message is false and neither:
 		(a)  The LADS is active
-		(b)  Nor LACS is active"
+		(b)  Nor LACS is active
 
 		-- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for
 		   Programmable Instrumentation
@@ -41443,8 +41451,8 @@ register.
 bears know yer there so's they can run away ...  I'll take one fer black
 bears, and one fer them grizzlies.  Say, how do you know yer in grizzly
 country, anyhow?"
-	"Look fer scatt.  Grizzly scatt's different from black bear scatt."
-	"Well now, what's IN grizzly scatt that's different?"
+	"Look fer scat.  Grizzly scat's different from black bear scat."
+	"Well now, what's IN grizzly scat that's different?"
 	"Bear bells."
 %
 Seems that a pollster was taking a worldwide opinion poll.
@@ -41631,7 +41639,7 @@ Shannon's Observation
 	Nothing is so frustrating as a bad situation
 	that is beginning to improve.
 %
-share, n:
+Share, n.:
 	To give in, endure humiliation.
 %
 Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off
@@ -41699,9 +41707,9 @@ a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
 %
 She often gave herself very good advice
 (though she very seldom followed it).
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
-She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.
+She ran the gamut of emotions from "A" to "B".
 		-- Dorothy Parker, on a Kate Hepburn performance
 %
 She say, Miss Colie, You better hush.  God might hear you.
@@ -41966,7 +41974,7 @@ Sink or Swim with Teddy!
 Sinners can repent, but stupid is forever.
 %
 Sir, it's very possible this asteroid is not stable.
-		-- CP30
+		-- C-3PO
 %
 [Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues
 I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
@@ -42021,7 +42029,7 @@ for deliverance from chains.
 		-- Frederick Douglass
 %
 Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Sleep is for the weak and sickly.
 %
@@ -42085,7 +42093,7 @@ Snacktrek, n.:
 	The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly
 	returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will
 	have materialized.
-		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+		-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
 %
 Snakes.  Why did it have to be snakes?
 %
@@ -42289,7 +42297,7 @@ COMMUNISM:
 	Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
 CAPITALISM:
 	You sell one cow and buy a bull.
-FACISM:
+FASCISM:
 	You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
 	The government sells it.
 NAZISM:
@@ -42351,7 +42359,7 @@ Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
 Some marriages are made in heaven -- but so are thunder and lightning.
 %
 Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
-		-- Ed Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 Some men are all right in their place -- if they only the knew the right
 places!
@@ -42526,7 +42534,7 @@ Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
 Some things have to be believed to be seen.
 %
 Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers
 so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear.
@@ -42622,7 +42630,7 @@ Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.
 		-- Benjamin Disraeli
 %
 Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
-		-- Shakespeare
+		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Sometime when you least expect it, Love will tap you on the shoulder...
 and ask you to move out of the way because it still isn't your turn.
@@ -42675,7 +42683,7 @@ Sometimes love ain't nothing but a misunderstanding between two fools.
 SOMETIMES THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD is so overwhelming, I just want to throw
 back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle and I don't care who hears
 me because I am beautiful.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Sometimes the best medicine is to stop taking something.
 %
@@ -42776,7 +42784,7 @@ For he can thoroughly enjoy
 	The pepper when he pleases!
 
 	Wow!  wow!  wow!
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 Speak roughly to your little VAX,
 	And boot it when it crashes;
@@ -42945,7 +42953,7 @@ STANDARDS:
 	The principles we use to reject other people's code.
 %
 Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by
-no means the only 'certain' standard.  If you mistake what is relative for
+no means the only "certain" standard.  If you mistake what is relative for
 something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.
 		-- Chuang Tzu
 %
@@ -42961,7 +42969,7 @@ on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
 		-- Harlan Ellison
 %
 Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Start the day with a smile.
 After that you can be your nasty old self again.
@@ -42988,7 +42996,7 @@ WHERE THE SMART NY WORK FORCE LIVES	THE MOST OFTEN MISSPELLED STATE
 
 	TEXAS					FLORIDA
       1-2-3 HIKE				ZON KED
- PLAY FOOTBALL OR DIE			AMERICA'S DRUG DEALER
+PLAY FOOTBALL OR DIE			AMERICA'S DRUG DEALER
 %
 State license plates we'd like to see:
 
@@ -43170,7 +43178,7 @@ Style may not be the answer, but at least it's a workable alternative.
 Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re.
 Se non e vero, e ben trovato.
 %
-Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your
+Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your
 editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
@@ -43336,11 +43344,11 @@ Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
 %
 Surprise your boss.  Get to work on time.
 %
-sushi, n:
+Sushi, n.:
 	When that-which-may-still-be-alive is put on top of rice and
 	strapped on with electrical tape.
 %
-Sushido, n:
+Sushido, n.:
 	The way of the tuna.
 %
 Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
@@ -43439,7 +43447,7 @@ Fault:			You have fallen forward.
 Action Required:	See above.
 
 Symptom:		Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several
-			flourescent light strips.
+			fluorescent light strips.
 Fault:			You have fallen over backward.
 Action Required:	If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
 			drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
@@ -43524,7 +43532,7 @@ TAKE FORCEFUL ACTION:
 	Do something that should have been done a long time ago.
 %
 Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
-enough cheese
+enough cheese.
 		-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
 %
 Take it easy, we're in a hurry.
@@ -43546,7 +43554,7 @@ Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
 Take your dying with some seriousness, however.
 Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood
 by less-advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy.
-		-- Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul
+		-- "Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul"
 %
 Take your Senator to lunch this week.
 %
@@ -43589,7 +43597,7 @@ All together now...
 %
 Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey
 will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
 	You are practical and persistent.  You have a dogged determination
@@ -43652,7 +43660,7 @@ Technicality, n.:
 	affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-Technique?" said the programmer turning from his terminal, "What I follow
+"Technique?" said the programmer turning from his terminal, "What I follow
 is Tao -- beyond all technique! When I first began to program I would see
 before me the whole problem in one mass. After three years I no longer saw
 this mass.  Instead, I used subroutines.  But now I see nothing.  My whole
@@ -43662,7 +43670,7 @@ itself.  True, sometimes there are difficult problems.  I see them coming, I
 slow down, I watch silently.  Then I change a single line of code and the
 difficulties vanish like puffs of idle smoke.  I then compile the program.
 I sit still and let the joy of the work fill my being.  I close my eyes for
-a moment and then log off.
+a moment and then log off."
 %
 Technological progress has merely provided us
 with more efficient means for going backwards.
@@ -43783,7 +43791,7 @@ Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.
 %
 Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave
 school, and then work, work, work till we die.
-		-- C.S. Lewis
+		-- C. S. Lewis
 %
 Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising
 amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered
@@ -43812,7 +43820,7 @@ Test for paraquat:
 	bicarbonate and sodium dithionite. If paraquat is present,
 	the solution will turn blue-green.
 %
-Testing can show the presense of bugs, but not their absence.
+Testing can show the presence of bugs, but not their absence.
 		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
@@ -43930,10 +43938,10 @@ That's life for you, said McDunn.  Someone always waiting for someone
 who never comes home.  Always someone loving something more than that
 thing loves them.  And after awhile you want to destroy whatever that
 thing is, so it can't hurt you no more.
-		-- R. Bradbury, "The Fog Horn"
+		-- Ray Bradbury, "The Fog Horn"
 %
 "That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be
-omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."
+omnipotent, let me tell you `tabernacle' has only one l."
 		-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 %
 That's no moon...
@@ -44086,7 +44094,7 @@ with which you can threaten your enemies.
 %
 The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from
 sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.
-		--Salvador De Madariaga
+		-- Salvador De Madariaga
 %
 The angry man always thinks he can do more than he can.
 		-- Albertano of Brescia
@@ -44098,15 +44106,15 @@ doctors nor lawyers.
 The annual meeting of the "You Have To Listen To Experience" Club is now in
 session.  Our Achievement Awards this year are in the fields of publishing,
 advertising and industry.  For best consistent contribution in the field of
-publishing our award goes to editor, R.L.K., [...] for his unrivaled alle-
+publishing our award goes to editor, R. L. K., [...] for his unrivaled alle-
 giance without variation to the statement: "Personally I'd love to do it,
 we'd ALL love to do it.  But we're not going to do it.  It's not the kind of
 book our house knows how to handle."  Our superior performance award in the
-field of advertising goes to media executive, E.L.M., [...] for the continu-
+field of advertising goes to media executive, E. L. M., [...] for the continu-
 ally creative use of the old favorite: "I think what you've got here could be
 very exciting.  Why not give it one more try based on the approach I've out-
 lined and see if you can come up with something fresh."  Our final award for
-courageous holding action in the field of industry goes to supervisor, R.S.,
+courageous holding action in the field of industry goes to supervisor, R. S.,
 [...] for her unyielding grip on "I don't care if they fire me, I've been
 arguing for a new approach for YEARS but are we SURE that this is the right
 time--"  I would like to conclude this meeting with a verse written specially
@@ -44205,7 +44213,7 @@ The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain
 disdain; he is anything but her ideal.  In consequence, she cannot help
 feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is
 their father.
-		-- Mencken
+		-- H. L. Mencken
 %
 The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
 average man can see better than he can think.
@@ -44292,11 +44300,10 @@ Pretty good case:  Get salary from England, build a house in America,
 			live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food.
 The worst case:    Get salary from China, build a house in Japan,
 			live with a British wife, and eat American food.
-
-		--Bungei Shunju, a popular Japanese magazine
+		-- Bungei Shunju, a popular Japanese magazine
 %
 The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 The best defense against logic is ignorance.
 %
@@ -44388,7 +44395,7 @@ The better part of valor is discretion.
 %
 The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity.
 To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
 to heterosexuals.  That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.
@@ -44445,7 +44452,7 @@ The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
 The bogosity meter just pegged.
 %
 The bold youth of today is very lonely.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 The bomb will never go off.  I speak as an expert in explosives.
 		-- Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project
@@ -44566,7 +44573,7 @@ sometimes three.
 		-- Alexandre Dumas
 %
 The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up
-at the steam fitters picnic.
+at the steam fitters' picnic.
 %
 The chief cause of problems is solutions.
 		-- Eric Sevareid
@@ -44683,7 +44690,7 @@ central power station is to the electrical industry.
 The Computer made me do it.
 %
 The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 The concept seems to be clear by now.  It has been
 defined several times by examples of what it is not.
@@ -44725,13 +44732,13 @@ talked about.
 The cost of feathers has risen, even down is up!
 %
 The cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
 %
 The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
 %
-The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
+The countdown had stalled at "T" minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
 female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
 rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what
 would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
@@ -44749,14 +44756,14 @@ ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.
 father!"
 %
 The covers of this book are too far apart.
-		-- Book review by Ambrose Bierce
+		-- Ambrose Bierce, reviewing a book
 %
 The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
 		-- John McNulty
 %
 The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas
 Instruments.
-		-- Credits from the PBS program ``The Creation of the Universe''
+		-- Credits from the PBS program "The Creation of the Universe"
 %
 The Crown is full of it!
 		-- Nate Harris, 1775
@@ -44768,7 +44775,6 @@ and they are screened at once from scrutiny. ...  In war, then, as in peace,
 assert the freedom of speech and of the press.  Cling to this as the bulwark
 of all our rights and privileges.
 		-- William Ellery Channing
-
 %
 The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the
 words to a song -- it's that they know them *all*.
@@ -44788,7 +44794,7 @@ The dangerous Lego Bomb, which targets shag rugs and scatters pieces of
 plastic that hurt like hell when you step on them is banned entirely....
 Hiring David Copperfield to pretend to saw the missiles in half will not
 be permitted...  In order to reduce risk of accidental war, both sides
-agree to ban the popular but dangerous 'Simon Says' training drill at
+agree to ban the popular but dangerous "Simon Says" training drill at
 nuclear launch sites...  Under no circumstances will either side reveal
 that it hammered out the treaty in one afternoon, but spent the last nine
 years arguing the Monty Hall and the three doors problem.
@@ -44891,7 +44897,7 @@ miles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time.
 %
 The difference between art and science is that science is what we
 understand well enough to explain to a computer.  Art is everything else.
-		-- Donald Knuth, "Discover"
+		-- Donald E. Knuth, "Discover"
 %
 The difference between common-sense and paranoia is that common-sense is
 thinking everyone is out to get you.  That's normal -- they are.  Paranoia
@@ -44912,7 +44918,7 @@ is that reality has so little to recommend it.
 %
 The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science
 requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following:
 Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a
@@ -44996,7 +45002,7 @@ it to his master.
 %
 The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance
 of the woman.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 The eagle may soar, but the weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
 %
@@ -45049,17 +45055,17 @@ Compute' -- I forget which."
 %
 The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed
 to do the work of a man.  The marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics
-Corporation defines a robot as 'Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With'.
+Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With".
 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the
-Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the
-first against the wall when the revolution comes', with a footnote to effect
+Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the
+first against the wall when the revolution comes", with a footnote to effect
 that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking
 over the post of robotics correspondent.
 	Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that
 had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in
 the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics
-Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the
-wall when the revolution came'.
+Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the
+wall when the revolution came".
 %
 The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
 		-- Buckminster Fuller
@@ -45125,7 +45131,7 @@ a substitute for intelligence.
 		-- Lyman Bryson
 %
 The eternal feminine draws us upward.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.
 		-- Anne Boleyn
@@ -45197,7 +45203,9 @@ so long as they are Tories.
 		-- Christopher Booker
 %
 The faster I go, the behinder I get.
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 The faster we go, the rounder we get.
 		-- The Grateful Dead
@@ -45234,7 +45242,7 @@ dull and creepy and humorless and war-oriented like the engineers across the
 quad.  And our most impressive critics have commonly been such English majors,
 and they are squeamish about technology to this very day.  So it is natural
 for them to despise science fiction.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "Science Fiction"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Science Fiction"
 %
 The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
 wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
@@ -45393,7 +45401,7 @@ The five rules of Socialism:
 ...the flaw that makes perfection perfect.
 %
 The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.
-		-- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month"
 %
 The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
 		-- Alan Coult
@@ -45452,7 +45460,7 @@ vinyl.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
 [The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.
-		-- Somerset Maugham
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
 The full impact of parenthood doesn't hit you until you multiply the
 number of your kids by thirty-two teeth.
@@ -45560,7 +45568,7 @@ You can live a life of fun.
 The good life was so elusive
 It really got me down
 I had to regain some confidence
-So I got into camaflouge
+So I got into camouflage
 %
 The good time is approaching,
 The season is at hand.
@@ -45770,7 +45778,7 @@ NOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!
 
 *NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN!
 A Horrifying Movie of Weird Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
-1001 WIERDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
+1001 WEIRDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
 		-- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:
 		   The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and
 		   Became Mixed Up Zombies)
@@ -45887,7 +45895,7 @@ SEE Man-Fish Battle Shark-Man-Killer!
 See Jane Russell in 3-D; She'll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!
 		-- The French Line (1954)
 
-See Jane Russell Shake Her Tamborines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!
+See Jane Russell Shake Her Tambourines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!
 		-- Hot Blood (1956)
 %
 The Great Movie Posters:
@@ -45954,7 +45962,7 @@ spokesman said.
 The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
 %
 The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
 %
@@ -45982,7 +45990,7 @@ you put a lot of relatives on the train for home.
 The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty
 deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the
 author's name on the title page.
-		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1831
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Journals" (1831)
 %
 The hatred of relatives is the most violent.
 		-- Tacitus (c.55 - c.117)
@@ -46136,7 +46144,7 @@ no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.
 The ideas of economists and political philosophers, both when they
 are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is generally
 understood.  Indeed, the world is ruled by little else.
-		-- John Maynard Keyes
+		-- John Maynard Keynes
 %
 The identical is equal to itself, since it is different.
 		-- Franco Spisani
@@ -46174,7 +46182,7 @@ a delight to moralists.  That is why they invented hell.
 %
 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings;
 the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-		-- Churchill
+		-- Winston Churchill
 %
 The instruments of science do not in themselves discover truth.  And
 there are searchings that are not concluded by the coincidence of a
@@ -46628,8 +46636,8 @@ The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
 The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
 the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at
 her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic
-Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
-steel through your last meal!'
+Handsomas roared, "Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
+steel through your last meal!"
 		-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest
 %
 The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
@@ -46658,7 +46666,7 @@ The major sin is the sin of being born.
 %
 The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play
 the violin.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.
 The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of
@@ -46763,7 +46771,7 @@ which, when properly cared for, will rust out in two or three years.
 The mate for beauty should be a man and not a money chest.
 		-- Bulwer
 %
-The mature bohemian is one whose woman works full time.
+The mature Bohemian is one whose woman works full time.
 %
 The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers,
 always end up on their ends without any means.
@@ -46795,7 +46803,7 @@ The meek will inherit the earth -- if that's OK with you.
 %
 The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two
 chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
-		-- Carl Jung
+		-- Carl G. Jung
 %
 [The members of the Chamberlain government] are decided only to be
 undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful
@@ -46850,7 +46858,7 @@ The Modelski Chain Rule:
 	thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
 %
 The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.
-		-- Laurence J. Peter
+		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
 %
 "The molars, I'm sure, will be all right, the molars can take care of
 themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become
@@ -46883,7 +46891,7 @@ lower the mailing cost.
 The more I know men the more I like my horse.
 %
 The more I see of men the more I admire dogs.
-		-- Mme De Sevigne, 1626-1696
+		-- Mme De Sevigne (1626-1696)
 %
 The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
 		-- Richard Bach, "Illusions"
@@ -46977,7 +46985,7 @@ the wineyness of a late sun, the intimate kiss of fertilizing rain, and the
 bite of fire.  You must slice it thin, almost as thin as this page you hold
 in your hands.  The making of a ham dinner, like the making of a gentleman,
 starts a long, long time before the event.
-		-- W.B. Courtney, "Reflections of Maryland Country Ham",
+		-- W. B. Courtney, "Reflections of Maryland Country Ham",
 		   from "Congress Eate It Up"
 %
 ...the most exquisitely squalid hells known to middle-class man:
@@ -46986,7 +46994,7 @@ freshman English at a Midwestern university.
 %
 The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union
 of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-		-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
+		-- Samuel T. Coleridge
 %
 The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware that he is wise.
 %
@@ -47033,7 +47041,7 @@ an ultimatum which demanded that they disband, this would-be successor to the
 radical student movements of the Sixties promptly voted itself out of
 existence.  As del Borgo and Margaronis put it, "After much chaotic discussion
 and a confused voice vote, the convention suspended all its other work and
-broke into regional groups to discuss 'outreach.'"
+broke into regional groups to discuss `outreach.'"
 		-- Libertarian Agenda, May 1988
 %
 The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
@@ -47094,7 +47102,7 @@ The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
 The net is like a vast sea of lutefisk with tiny dinosaur brains embedded
 in it here and there. Any given spoonful will likely have an IQ of 1, but
 occasional spoonfuls may have an IQ more than six times that!
-		-- James 'Kibo' Parry
+		-- James "Kibo" Parry
 %
 The net of law is spread so wide,
 No sinner from its sweep may hide.
@@ -47125,7 +47133,7 @@ The New York Times is read by the people who run the country.  The
 Washington Post is read by the people who think they run the country.
 The National Enquirer is read by the people who think Elvis is alive
 and running the country ...
-		-- Robert J Woodhead
+		-- Robert J. Woodhead
 %
 The next person to mention spaghetti stacks
 to me is going to have his head knocked off.
@@ -47239,7 +47247,7 @@ to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the
 floor.
 
 "Sorry," he said with a smile.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
 %
@@ -47261,7 +47269,7 @@ The one L lama, he's a priest
 The two L llama, he's a beast
 And I will bet my silk pyjama
 There isn't any three L lllama.
-		-- O. Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally
+		-- Ogden Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally
 		his department responded to something like a "three L lllama."
 %
 The One Page Principle:
@@ -47310,15 +47318,15 @@ swift.  Thinking of oneself gives little happiness.  If, however, one feels
 much happiness in this, it is because at bottom one is not thinking of
 oneself but of one's ideal.  This is far, and only the swift shall reach
 it and are delighted.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
 		-- Dorothy Parker
 %
 The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is
 that they serve to represent the complex of our experiences;
-beyond this they have not legitimacy.
-		-- Einstein
+beyond this they have no legitimacy.
+		-- Albert Einstein
 %
 The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away
 is your husband.
@@ -47337,7 +47345,7 @@ The only perfect science is hind-sight.
 The only person who always got his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
 %
 The only possible interpretation of any research
-whatever in the 'social sciences' is: some do, some don't.
+whatever in the "social sciences" is: some do, some don't.
 		-- Ernest Rutherford
 %
 The only problem with being a man of leisure
@@ -47403,7 +47411,7 @@ the lessons that history has to teach.
 		-- Aldous Huxley
 
 We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
-		-- Georg Hegel
+		-- Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
 
 HISTORY:  Papa Hegel he say that all we learn from history is that we learn
 nothing from history.  I know people who can't even learn from what happened
@@ -47412,7 +47420,7 @@ this morning.  Hegel must have been taking the long view.
 %
 The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from
 history.
-		-- Hegel
+		-- Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
 
 I know guys can't learn from yesterday ... Hegel must be taking the
 long view.
@@ -47420,7 +47428,7 @@ long view.
 %
 The only thing which separates man from child is all the values
 he has lost over the years.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.
 		-- C. Schultz
@@ -47454,7 +47462,7 @@ of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
 		-- Niels Bohr
 %
 The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
-		-- Bohr
+		-- Niels Bohr
 %
 The opposite of talking isn't listening.  The opposite of talking is
 waiting.
@@ -47919,7 +47927,7 @@ The revolution will not be televised.
 The reward for working hard is more hard work.
 %
 The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
-		-- Emerson
+		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 %
 The rhino is a homely beast,
 For human eyes he's not a feast.
@@ -47939,7 +47947,7 @@ and to his imagination for his facts.
 %
 The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
 taken seriously.
-		-- Hubert Humphrey
+		-- Hubert H. Humphrey
 %
 The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
 		-- Justice Douglas
@@ -47971,7 +47979,7 @@ The road to hell is paved with NAND gates.
 		-- J. Gooding
 %
 The road to ruin is always in good repair,
-and the travelers pay the expense of it.
+and the travellers pay the expense of it.
 		-- Josh Billings
 %
 The Roman Rule
@@ -47991,7 +47999,7 @@ take it too seriously.
 		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
 %
 The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give 'em a number or
 give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once.
@@ -48000,7 +48008,7 @@ give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once.
 The rules are rather simple to understand:  Under democracy you
 can defend any view, but only defend it.  You can not try to realize
 it through power, violence or weapons.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 The rules:
 
@@ -48036,8 +48044,8 @@ The savior becomes the victim.
 %
 The scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.
 
-Cowboy:	"Well, you've been a pretty good hoss, I guess.  Hardworkin'.
- Not the fastest critter I ever come acrost, but..."
+Cowboy: "Well, you've been a pretty good hoss, I guess.  Hardworkin'.
+Not the fastest critter I ever come acrost, but..."
 
 Horse:  "No, stupid, not feed*back*.  I said I wanted a feed*bag*.
 %
@@ -48046,9 +48054,9 @@ Horse:  "No, stupid, not feed*back*.  I said I wanted a feed*bag*.
 The Schwine-Kitzenger Institute study of 47 men over the age of 100
 showed that all had these things in common:
 
-	1) They all had moderate appetites.
-	2) They all came from middle class homes.
-	3) All but two of them were dead.
+	(1) They all had moderate appetites.
+	(2) They all came from middle class homes.
+	(3) All but two of them were dead.
 %
 The scum also rises.
 		-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
@@ -48131,7 +48139,7 @@ in a direction you did not want.  (Goes the wrong way = Goes a long
 way.)
 		-- Dan Roddick
 %
-The sixth shiek's sixth sheep's sick.
+The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
 		-- [just say that five times...]
 %
 The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.
@@ -48163,7 +48171,7 @@ The so-called "desktop metaphor" of today's workstations is instead an
 "airplane-seat" metaphor.  Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers
 while seated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference --
 one can see only a very few things at once.
-		-- Fred Brooks
+		-- Frederick Brooks, Jr.
 %
 The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the
 rationalizations of the victors.  History is written by the survivors.
@@ -48213,7 +48221,7 @@ the table as the children gathered around him.
 sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
 %
 The sooner all the animals are dead, the sooner we'll find their money.
-		-- Ed Bluestone, The National Lampoon
+		-- Ed Bluestone, "The National Lampoon"
 %
 The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up!
 %
@@ -48328,7 +48336,7 @@ that he has the strength to recognize -- and to live with the recognition --
 that the world is valueless in itself and that all values are human ones.
 He creates himself by fashioning his own values; he has the pride to live
 by the values he wills.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 The student in question is performing minimally for his peer group and
 is an emerging underachiever.
@@ -48358,7 +48366,9 @@ He did his very best to make
 The billows smooth and bright --
 And this was very odd, because it was
 The middle of the night.
-		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.
 		-- Ursula K. LeGuin, "The Dispossessed"
@@ -48387,7 +48397,7 @@ The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.
 %
 The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
 esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 The surest way to remain a winner is to
 win once, and then not play any more.
@@ -48442,7 +48452,7 @@ it is the gateway to all wizardry.
 %
 The technician should never forget that he is an artist, the
 artist never that he is a technician.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer
 them a drink.
@@ -48729,7 +48739,7 @@ And the, um, plains stretch out like my moms girdle, eh?
 There's lotsa beers and doughnuts for everyone, eh?
 So the last one to be peaceful and everything is a big idiot,
 Eh?
-So shut yer face up and dry yer mucklucks by the fire, eh?
+So shut yer face up and dry yer mukluks by the fire, eh?
 And dream about girls with their high beams on, eh?
 They may be cold, but that's okay!  Beer's better that way!
 Eh?
@@ -48761,7 +48771,7 @@ The universe is laughing behind your back.
 %
 The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the
 combination is locked up in the safe.
-		-- Peter DeVries
+		-- Peter de Vries
 
 Corollary: The combination is not a problem since we are locked in the
 same safe.
@@ -48807,7 +48817,7 @@ regarded as a criminal offence.
 		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
 %
 The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
 %
@@ -48827,7 +48837,7 @@ The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.
 Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts
 to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to
 be one of the facts that needs altering.
-		-- Dr. Who, "Face of Evil"
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who: Face of Evil"
 %
 The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.
 		-- Miguel de Cervantes
@@ -48914,10 +48924,10 @@ but the leaves are good to smoke!
 		-- The Shadow
 %
 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.
-	"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ?" he asked.
-	"Begin at the beginning,", the King said, very gravely,
+	"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked.
+	"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
 "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 The white race is the cancer of history.
 		-- Susan Sontag
@@ -48950,7 +48960,7 @@ It must have blown through someone's feet,
 The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
 not the dog, is man's best friend.  Rover is taking a beating -- and he
 should.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 The wise man seeks everything in himself;
 the ignorant man tries to get everything from somebody else.
@@ -49015,7 +49025,7 @@ The world wants to be deceived.
 		-- Sebastian Brant
 %
 The world's as ugly as sin,
-And almost as delightful
+And almost as delightful.
 		-- Frederick Locker-Lampson
 %
 The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars,
@@ -49031,7 +49041,7 @@ pen.
 	Whether death was by drowning, by fits or by runaway sleigh, the
 formula was the same:
 		Have you heard of the dreadful fate
-		Of Mr. P.P. Bliss and wife?
+		Of Mr. P. P. Bliss and wife?
 		Of their death I will relate,
 		And also others lost their life
 		(in the) Ashbula Bridge disaster,
@@ -49099,7 +49109,7 @@ one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the
 remotest clue what was happening.
 	The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any
 evidence at all and, when there was no reply, dismissed him.
-	The excitement which this caused was only equaled when a second
+	The excitement which this caused was only equalled when a second
 juror revealed that he spoke not a word of English.  A fluent French
 speaker, he exhibited great surprised when told, after two days, that he
 was hearing a murder trial.
@@ -49207,7 +49217,7 @@ wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering
 if something could have materialized -- and never knowing.
 		-- David Viscott
 %
-The Wright Bothers weren't the first to fly.
+The Wright Brothers weren't the first to fly.
 They were just the first not to crash.
 %
 The yankees, son, are up north.
@@ -49321,7 +49331,7 @@ THEORY:
 	it will look in print.
 %
 Theory is gray, but the golden tree of life is green.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 Theory of Selective Supervision:
 	The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is
@@ -49413,7 +49423,7 @@ There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.
 There are no answers, only cross-references.
 		-- Weiner
 %
-There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axis
+There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axes
 are chosen correctly.
 %
 There are no emotional victims, only volunteers.
@@ -49484,7 +49494,7 @@ Why don't you go chase them?
 There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both
 plants and animals.  When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
 and when the lights go out, they turn into animals.  But then again,
-don't we all.
+don't we all?
 %
 There are strange things done in the midnight sun
 	By the men who moil for gold;
@@ -49507,7 +49517,7 @@ wonder.  There are also those who believe that if you stick your fingers up
 your nose and blow, it will increase your intelligence.
 		-- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VII
 %
-There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
+There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.
 		-- Benjamin Disraeli
 %
 There are three kinds of people: men, women, and unix.
@@ -49538,7 +49548,7 @@ long winter evenings.
 %
 There are three rules for writing a novel.
 Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-		-- Maugham
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
 There are three schools of magic.  One:  State a tautology, then ring the
 changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy.  Two:  Record many facts.
@@ -49558,7 +49568,6 @@ love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.
 		-- Stephen Stills
 %
 There are three ways to get something done:
-
 	1: Do it yourself.
 	2: Hire someone to do it for you.
 	3: Forbid your kids to do it.
@@ -49591,11 +49600,11 @@ I have *never* heard them sound better.  They are *wailing* up here."
 	"The bad news is that God has this girlfriend that sings..."
 %
 There are two kinds of fool.  One says, "This is old, and therefore good."
-And one says "This is new, and therefore better."
+And one says, "This is new, and therefore better."
 		-- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Rider"
 %
 There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
-		-- Lord Thomas Rober Dewar
+		-- Lord Thomas Robert Dewar
 %
 There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect
 the sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the
@@ -49659,7 +49668,7 @@ There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full.
 %
 There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he
 has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 There comes a time to stop being angry.
 		-- A Small Circle of Friends
@@ -49710,7 +49719,7 @@ A:	The elevator would be full.
 There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery
 is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation.  If
 you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.
-		-- Robert Louis Stevenson: Immortelles
+		-- Robert Louis Stevenson, "Immortelles"
 %
 There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an
 opinion.
@@ -49833,7 +49842,7 @@ man who eats Grapenuts on principle.
 		-- G. K. Chesterton
 %
 There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-		-- Mahatma Mohandis K. Gandhi
+		-- Mohandas K. Gandhi
 %
 There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.
 		-- Darth Vader
@@ -49848,7 +49857,7 @@ is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.
 		-- Benjamin Disraeli, "Vivian Grey"
 %
 There is no bad taste.  There is only good taste, and that is bad.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law.
 No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.
@@ -49870,7 +49879,7 @@ There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.
 %
 There is no delight the equal of dread.
 As long as it is somebody else's.
-		--Clive Barker
+		-- Clive Barker
 %
 There is no distinction between any AI program and some existent game.
 %
@@ -49879,7 +49888,7 @@ There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
 %
 There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest.  For example, when he
 filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary
-as 'unearned income.'
+as "unearned income."
 		-- Michael Lara
 %
 There is no education that is not political.  An apolitical
@@ -49998,7 +50007,7 @@ There is not opinion so absurd that some philosopher will not express it.
 		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero, "Ad familiares"
 %
 There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
-		-- Churchill
+		-- Winston Churchill
 %
 There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.
 		-- Gaius Valerius Catullus
@@ -50046,7 +50055,7 @@ There is only one way to be happy by means of the heart -- to have none.
 		-- Paul Bourget
 %
 There is only one way to console a widow.  But remember the risk.
-		-- Robert Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 There is only one way to kill capitalism --
 by taxes, taxes, and more taxes.
@@ -50061,7 +50070,7 @@ it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.
 		-- James Boswell
 %
 There is plenty of time before progress goes too far.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 There is something in the pang of change
 More than the heart can bear,
@@ -50084,7 +50093,7 @@ There must be more to life than having everything.
 		-- Maurice Sendak
 %
 There never was a good war or a bad peace.
-		-- Ben Franklin
+		-- Benjamin Franklin
 %
 There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.  The
 king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land.  He also wished
@@ -50110,10 +50119,10 @@ that I had promised."
 	The king knew that his son would be a great king.
 %
 There seems no plan because it is all plan.
-		-- C.S. Lewis
+		-- C. S. Lewis
 %
-There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
-		-- C.S. Lewis, "The Chronicles of Narnia"
+There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.
+		-- C. S. Lewis, "The Chronicles of Narnia"
 %
 There was a little girl
 Who had a little curl
@@ -50157,7 +50166,7 @@ There was a writer in 'Life' magazine ... who claimed that rabbits have
 no memory, which is one of their defensive mechanisms.  If they recalled
 every close shave they had in the course of just an hour life would become
 insupportable.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
 %
 There was a young man from LeDoux,
 Whose limericks stopped at line two.
@@ -50287,7 +50296,7 @@ There's a thrill in store for all for we're about to toast
 The corporation that we represent.
 We're here to cheer each pioneer and also proudly boast,
 Of that man of men our sterling president
-The name of T.J. Watson means
+The name of T. J. Watson means
 A courage none can stem
 And we feel honored to be here to toast the IBM.
 		-- Ever Onward, from the 1940 IBM Songbook
@@ -50348,7 +50357,7 @@ There's no justice in this world.
 		   instead)
 %
 There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
-		-- Dr. Who
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get
 any worse.
@@ -50370,7 +50379,7 @@ There's no such thing as an original sin.
 %
 There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government
 working for you.
-		-- Will Rodgers
+		-- Will Rogers
 %
 There's no use in having a dog and doing your own barking.
 %
@@ -50468,7 +50477,7 @@ the only significant job that has so far been given to them.
 They are cold-blooded. They are completely ruthless about protecting
 what they have. The only thing they connect to is the money aspect of
 life.  Let's face it: That's the American way.
-		-- Jeffery M. Johnson, regional chairman of the District
+		-- Jeffrey M. Johnson, regional chairman of the District
 		   of Columbia United Way, speaking of drug dealers.
 %
 They are ill discoverers that think there is no land,
@@ -50515,7 +50524,7 @@ They make a desert and call it peace.
 They say it's the responsibility of the media to look at government --
 especially the president -- with a microscope.  I don't argue with that,
 but when they use a proctoscope, it's going too far.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 They seem to have learned the habit of cowering before authority even when
 not actually threatened.  How very nice for authority.  I decided not to
@@ -50596,11 +50605,6 @@ for freedom.
 They're giving bank robbing a bad name.
 		-- John Dillinger, on Bonnie and Clyde
 %
-They're just jealous because they don't have three
-wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.
-		-- Mayor Vincent J. `Buddy' Cianci, on the
-		   ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed.
-%
 They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
 %
 They're unfriendly, which is fortunate, really.  They'd be difficult
@@ -50612,7 +50616,7 @@ their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
 		-- G. K. Chesterton, "The Man Who Was Thursday"
 %
 Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
-		-- Dwight Eisenhower
+		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
 %
 Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
 %
@@ -50621,7 +50625,7 @@ Things are not always what they seem.
 %
 Things Charles Darwin did not say:
 
-Finches, eh ? Seen one, seem 'em all.
+Finches, eh? Seen one, seem 'em all.
 %
 Things Charles Darwin did not say:
 
@@ -50712,6 +50716,22 @@ This door is baroquen, please wiggle Handel.
 %
 This dungeon is owned and operated by Frobazz Magic Co., Ltd.
 %
+This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
+intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which they
+are addressed. If you are not the intended recipient of this
+transmission, please delete it immediately.
+
+Obviously, I am the idiot who sent it to you by mistake. Furthermore,
+there is no way I can force you to delete it. Worse, by the time you
+have reached this disclaimer you have already read the document.
+Telling you to forget it would seem absurd. In any event, I have no
+legal right to force you to take any action upon this email anyway.
+
+This entire disclaimer is just a waste of everyone's time and
+bandwidth. Therefore, let us just forget the whole thing and enjoy a
+cold beer instead.
+ 		-- found on the dovecot mailinglist
+%
 This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
 %
 This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
@@ -50835,7 +50855,7 @@ you forget.  Our target is 300 new fortunes by the end of the week.
 Don't miss out.  All fortunes will be acknowledged.  If you contribute
 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to "The
 Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide.  If you contribute 50 or
-more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ....
+more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ...
 %
 This is supposed to be a happy occasion.
 Let's not BICKER and ARGUE over who killed who!
@@ -50846,7 +50866,7 @@ and come alone.  I'm serious!
 %
 This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future,
 which is a little ironic since we may not have one.
-		-- Arthur Clarke
+		-- Arthur C. Clarke
 %
 This is the first numerical problem I ever did.  It demonstrates the
 power of computers:
@@ -50905,7 +50925,7 @@ been called by others the fiddle factor..."
 This land is full of trousers!
 this land is full of mausers!
 	And pussycats to eat them when the sun goes down!
-		-- Firesign Theater
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 This land is made of mountains,
 This land is made of mud,
@@ -51019,7 +51039,7 @@ adds happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.
 This screen intentionally left blank.
 %
 This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't.
-		-- Hofstadter
+		-- Douglas Hofstadter
 %
 This sentence does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
 %
@@ -51133,7 +51153,7 @@ Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.
 %
 Those who make peaceful revolution impossible
 will make violent revolution inevitable.
-		-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
+		-- John F. Kennedy
 %
 Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are
 men who want rain without thunder and lightning.  They want the ocean
@@ -51144,7 +51164,7 @@ Those who sweat in flames of hell,	Leaden eared, some thought their bowels
 Here's the reason that they fell:	Lispeth forth the sweetest vowels.
 While on earth they prayed in SAS,	These they offered up in praise
 PL/1, or other crass,			Thinking all this fetid haze
-Vulgar tongue.				A rapsody sung.
+Vulgar tongue.				A rhapsody sung.
 
 Some the lord did sorely try		Jabber of the mindless horde
 Assembling all their pleas in hex.	Sequel next did mock the lord
@@ -51211,12 +51231,12 @@ all appearing on a quiz program, were asked to complete this sentence:
 		service station," said the Missourian.
 	"Wrong."
 	"Old MacDonald had a farm," said the Iowan.
-	"CORRECT!" shouts the quizmaster.  "Now for $100,000, spell 'farm.'"
+	"CORRECT!" shouts the quizmaster.  "Now for $100,000, spell `farm.'"
 	"Easy," said the Iowan. "E-I-E-I-O."
 %
 Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought
 is irksome and three minutes is a long time.
-		-- A. E. Houseman
+		-- A. E. Housman
 %
 Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too
 late or a little too early for anything you want to do.
@@ -51392,7 +51412,7 @@ but I don't always approve of Time's methods.
 Time-sharing is the junk-mail part of the computer business.
 		-- H. R. J. Grosch (attributed)
 %
-timesharing, n:
+Timesharing, n.:
 	An access method whereby one computer abuses many people.
 %
 Timing must be perfect now.
@@ -51479,7 +51499,7 @@ To add insult to injury.
 To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are
 to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and
 servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
-		--  Theodore Roosevelt
+		-- Theodore Roosevelt
 %
 To any truly impartial person, it would
 be obvious that I am always right.
@@ -51537,7 +51557,7 @@ To be loved is very demoralizing.
 To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best to,
 night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest
 battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
-		-- E.E. Cummings, "A Miscellany"
+		-- e. e. cummings, "A Miscellany"
 %
 To be or not to be.
 		-- Shakespeare
@@ -51753,7 +51773,7 @@ To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
 TO ME, CLOWNS AREN'T FUNNY. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered
 where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the
 circus and a clown killed my dad.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of Angostura
 bitters.  Shake.
@@ -51788,7 +51808,7 @@ There was nothing savage in the act, although the knife was large and keen;
 it was a piece of art, high art; there was delicacy of touch, clearness of
 tone, skillful handling of the subject, fine shading.  It was the triumph of
 mind over matter; quite.
-		-- Dickens, "Martin Chuzzlewit"
+		-- Charles Dickens, "Martin Chuzzlewit"
 %
 To see you is to sympathize.
 %
@@ -51937,7 +51957,7 @@ Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
 %
 Today is the last day of your life so far.
 %
-Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
+Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
 %
 Today is what happened to yesterday.
 %
@@ -51966,7 +51986,7 @@ Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
 %
 Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
 %
-Toilet Toupee, n:
+Toilet Toupee, n.:
 	Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
 	creating endless annoyance to male users.
 		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@@ -52000,7 +52020,7 @@ driving cabs and cutting hair.
 %
 TOO BAD YOU CAN'T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin
 real fast and freak everybody out.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Too clever is dumb.
 		-- Ogden Nash
@@ -52081,7 +52101,7 @@ Follow these simple suggestions:
 (2)  Use tape, magnets, or glue instead of paperweights.
 (3)  Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like
      curling.
-(4)  Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
+(4)  Avoid showers ... take baths instead.
 (5)  Don't hang all your clothes in the closet ... Keep them in one big
      pile.
 (6)  Stop flipping pancakes
@@ -52099,7 +52119,7 @@ Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:
  4:	How many times do we have to tell you, "No prior art!"
  3:	Ha, ha, I can't believe they're actually going to adopt this sucker.
  2:	Thank you for your generous donation, Mr. Wirth.
- 1:	Gee, I wish we hadn't backed down on 'noalias'.
+ 1:	Gee, I wish we hadn't backed down on "noalias".
 %
 Topologists are just plane folks.
 	Pilots are just plane folks.
@@ -52677,7 +52697,7 @@ And the hunter home from the hill.
 Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:
 	Superiority is recessive.
 %
-understand, v:
+Understand, v.:
 	To reach a point, in your investigation of some subject, at which
 	you cease to examine what is really present, and operate on the
 	basis of your own internal model instead.
@@ -52712,13 +52732,13 @@ every persuasion.  Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time
 low over the world.
 		-- Isaac Asimov
 %
-universe, n:
+Universe, n.:
 	The problem.
 %
 Universities are places of knowledge.  The freshman each bring a little
 in with them, and the seniors take none away, so knowledge accumulates.
 %
-UNIVERSITY:
+University, n.:
 	Like a software house, except the software's free, and it's
 	usable, and it works, and if it breaks they'll quickly tell
 	you how to fix it, and...
@@ -52736,7 +52756,7 @@ of more feet, just to be sure.
 		-- Eric Allman
 
 ... We make rope.
-		-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystem's new virtual memory
+		-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystems' new virtual memory
 %
 Unix is a lot more complicated (than CP/M) of course -- the typical Unix
 hacker can never remember what the PRINT command is called this week --
@@ -52759,7 +52779,7 @@ but it's never been everything to anybody.
 Unix is the worst operating system; except for all others.
 		-- Berry Kercheval
 %
-Unix, n:
+Unix, n.:
 	A computer operating system, once thought to be flabby and
 	impotent, that now shows a surprising interest in making off
 	with the workstation harem.
@@ -52768,7 +52788,7 @@ unix soit qui mal y pense
 %
 UNIX was half a billion (500000000) seconds old on
 Tue Nov  5 00:53:20 1985 GMT (measuring since the time(2) epoch).
-		-- Andy Tannenbaum
+		-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
 %
 UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that
 would also stop you from doing clever things.
@@ -52789,7 +52809,7 @@ time waste me.
 		-- William Shakespeare
 %
 Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense.
-		-- E.E. Cummings
+		-- e. e. cummings
 %
 Unnamed Law:
 	If it happens, it must be possible.
@@ -52803,7 +52823,7 @@ pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
 		-- H. L. Mencken
 %
 Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
-		-- Richard Amour
+		-- Richard Armour
 %
 UNTOLD WEALTH:
 	What you left out on April 15th.
@@ -52830,10 +52850,10 @@ more labor and less oratory.
 %
 User hostile.
 %
-User n.:
+User, n.:
 	A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.
 %
-user, n:
+User, n.:
 	The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."
 		-- Dave Barry, "Claw Your Way to the Top"
 
@@ -52966,7 +52986,7 @@ X:
 %
 Victory uber allies!
 %
-Viking, n:
+Viking, n.:
 	1. Daring Scandinavian seafarers, explorers, adventurers,
 	entrepreneurs world-famous for their aggressive, nautical import
 	business, highly leveraged takeovers and blue eyes.
@@ -52995,7 +53015,7 @@ Violence is a sword that has no handle -- you have to hold the blade.
 Violence is molding.
 %
 Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
-		-- Salvador Hardin
+		-- Salvor Hardin
 %
 Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on.  But now and then
 there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a
@@ -53053,11 +53073,11 @@ Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.
 Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
 from where you left them to where you can't find them.
 %
-Vitamin C deficiency is apauling
+Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.
 %
 VMS is like a nightmare about RSX-11M.
 %
-VMS, n:
+VMS, n.:
 	The world's foremost multi-user adventure game.
 %
 VMS version 2.0 ==>
@@ -53107,7 +53127,7 @@ Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
 Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.
 		-- Pericles
 %
-Waiter:	"Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
+Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
 1st customer: "I'll have tea."
 2nd customer: "Me, too -- and be sure the glass is clean!"
 	(Waiter exits, returns)
@@ -53166,11 +53186,11 @@ Wanna tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed,
 A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
 But then one day he was shootin' at some food,
 When up through the ground come a bubblin' crude -- oil, that is;
-	black gold; 'Texas tea' ...
+	black gold; "Texas tea" ...
 
 Well the next thing ya know, old Jed's a millionaire.
-The kinfolk said, 'Jed, move away from there!'
-They said, 'Californy is the place ya oughta be',
+The kinfolk said, "Jed, move away from there!"
+They said, "Californy is the place ya oughta be",
 So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is;
 	swimmin' pools; movie stars.
 %
@@ -53328,7 +53348,7 @@ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
 %
 We are all so much together and yet we are all dying of loneliness.
-		-- A. Schweitzer
+		-- Albert Schweitzer
 %
 We are all worms.  But I do believe I am a glowworm.
 		-- Winston Churchill
@@ -53343,7 +53363,7 @@ We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
 		-- Walt Kelly, "Pogo"
 %
 We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.
-		-- John Naisbitt, Megatrends
+		-- John Naisbitt, "Megatrends"
 %
 We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his
 own facts.
@@ -53392,7 +53412,7 @@ Manual.
 We are simple killers of people and destroyers of property.
 %
 We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.
-		-- Jonathon Swift
+		-- Jonathan Swift
 %
 We are sorry.  We cannot complete your call as dialed.  Please check
 the number and dial again or ask your operator for assistance.
@@ -53413,7 +53433,7 @@ to do the unnecessary... for the ungrateful...
 %
 We are unavoidably drawn towards conservatism and death.
 The order is not insignificant.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 We are upping our standards ... so up yours.
 		-- Pat Paulsen for President, 1988
@@ -53443,11 +53463,11 @@ deceased.  My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.
 		-- James E. Day, Postmaster General
 %
 We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 We could nuke Baghdad into glass, wipe it with Windex, tie fatback on our
 feet and go skating.
-		-- Fred Reed, Air Force Times columnist.
+		-- Fred Reed, Air Force Times columnist
 %
 We dedicate this book to our fellow citizens who, for love of truth,
 take from their own wants by taxes and gifts, and now and then send
@@ -53524,13 +53544,13 @@ If it's the last thing we ever do.
 We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
 hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
 mill, and when we came home our Dad would kill us, and dance about on
-our grave singing Halleluja ...
+our grave singing Hallelujah ...
 		-- Monty Python
 %
 We have an equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated.
 %
 We have art that we do not die of the truth.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 We have ears, earther...FOUR OF THEM!
 %
@@ -53590,7 +53610,7 @@ You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
 %
 We interrupt this fortune for an important announcement...
 %
-"We invented a new protocol and called it Kermit, after Kermit the Frog,
+We invented a new protocol and called it Kermit, after Kermit the Frog,
 star of "The Muppet Show." [3]
 
 [3]  Why?  Mostly because there was a Muppets calendar on the wall when we
@@ -53709,8 +53729,8 @@ We must die because we have known them.
 		-- Ptah-hotep, 2000 B.C.
 %
 We must finish once and for all with the neutrality of chess.  We must
-condemn once and for all the formula 'chess for the sake of chess,' like
-the formula 'art for art's sake.'  We must organize shock-brigades of
+condemn once and for all the formula "chess for the sake of chess," like
+the formula "art for art's sake."  We must organize shock-brigades of
 chess-players, and begin the immediate realization of a Five-Year Plan
 for chess.
 		-- Nikolai V. Krylenko, People's Commissar for Justice
@@ -53740,7 +53760,7 @@ children smart.
 %
 We only acknowledge small faults in order
 to make it appear that we are free from great ones.
-		-- LaRouchefoucauld
+		-- La Rochefoucauld
 %
 We ought to be very grateful that we have tools.  Millions of years ago
 people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult.
@@ -53775,7 +53795,7 @@ We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
 %
 We seem to have forgotten the simple truth that reason is never perfect.
 Only non-sense attains perfection.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.
 		-- Jean de la Bruyere
@@ -54054,12 +54074,12 @@ James Bond kills him and his henchmen and makes love to several attractive
 women.  There, that's it: 24 words.  But the guy who wrote the book took
 *thousands* of words to say it.
 	Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", by the famous Russian alcoholic
-Fyodor Dostoevsky.  It's about these two brothers who kill their father.
+Fyodor Dostoyevsky.  It's about these two brothers who kill their father.
 Or maybe only one of them kills the father.  It's impossible to tell because
 what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages.  If all Russians talk
 as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't see how they found time to become a
 major world power.
-	I'm told that Dostoevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
+	I'm told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
 the question of whether there is a God.  So why didn't he just come right
 out and say: "Is there a God? It sure beats the heck out of me."
 	Other famous works could easily have been summarized in a few words:
@@ -54409,7 +54429,7 @@ Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!
 %
 What a misfortune to be a woman!  And yet, the worst misfortune is not to
 understand what a misfortune it is.
-		-- Kierkegaard, 1813-1855
+		-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
 %
 What a strange game.  The only winning move is not to play.
 		-- WOP, "War Games"
@@ -54480,7 +54500,7 @@ and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.
 		-- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt
 %
 What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 What ever happened to happily ever after?
 %
@@ -54501,7 +54521,7 @@ What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
 What George Washington did for us was to throw out the British, so
 that we wouldn't have a fat, insensitive government running our
 country. Nice try anyway, George.
-		-- D.J. on KSFO/KYA
+		-- Disk Jockey on KSFO/KYA
 %
 What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down
 where you can find it.  Murphy's Law applied to Newton's.
@@ -54642,7 +54662,7 @@ What is love but a second-hand emotion?
 %
 What is mind?  No matter.
 What is matter?  Never mind.
-		-- Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875
+		-- Thomas Hewitt Key (1799-1875)
 %
 What is now proved was once only imagin'd.
 		-- William Blake
@@ -54743,7 +54763,7 @@ What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
 		-- John Lilly
 %
 What one fool can do, another can.
-		-- Ancient Simian Proverb
+		-- Ancient Simian proverb
 %
 What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
 %
@@ -54947,16 +54967,16 @@ What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
 %
 What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
 %
-What this country needs is a good five dollar plasma weapon.
+What this country needs is a good five cent nickel.
 %
-What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
+What this country needs is a good five dollar plasma weapon.
 %
 What time is it?
 I don't know, it keeps changing.
 %
 What upsets me is not that you lied to me,
 but that from now on I can no longer believe you.
-		-- Nietzsche
+		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
 		-- Peter S. Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"
@@ -54968,7 +54988,7 @@ What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.
 		-- Wittgenstein
 %
 What we do not understand we do not possess.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which
 nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday
@@ -55059,7 +55079,7 @@ as good.  Luckily this is not difficult.
 %
 Whatever you do will be insignificant,
 but it is very important that you do it.
-		-- Gandhi
+		-- Mahatma Gandhi
 %
 Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like
 other people.
@@ -55094,7 +55114,7 @@ But I think it's your mind.
 		-- Frank Zappa, 1965
 %
 What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?
-		-- Dr. Who
+		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 What's this stuff about people being "released on their
 own recognizance"?  Aren't we all out on own recognizance?
@@ -55109,7 +55129,7 @@ When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
 %
 When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but
 the principle of the thing," it's the money.
-		-- Kim Hubbard
+		-- Kin Hubbard
 %
 When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half
 loop?
@@ -55183,7 +55203,7 @@ poor.  In that lawsuit, you will lose.  If, on the other hand, you kill
 him, the most that you can expect is that a relative will bring a wrongful
 death action. You will have two advantages: first, there be only your
 story; forget Mother Teresa.  Second, even if you lose, how much could
-the bum's life be worth anyway?  A Lot less than 50 years worth of
+the bum's life be worth anyway?  A lot less than 50 years worth of
 paralysis.  Don't play George Bush and Saddam Hussein.  Finish the job.
 		-- G. Gordon Liddy's Forbes column on personal security
 %
@@ -55251,7 +55271,7 @@ that, after assuming the power, we would deny to our adversaries without any
 consideration the means which were granted to us in times of our opposition.
 		-- Josef Goebbels
 %
-When Dexter's on the Internet, can Hell be far behind?"
+When Dexter's on the Internet, can Hell be far behind?
 %
 When does later become never?
 %
@@ -55304,7 +55324,7 @@ then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
 %
 When I grow up, I want to be an honest
 lawyer so things like that can't happen.
-		-- Richard Nixon, as a boy, on the Teapot Dome scandal
+		-- Richard M. Nixon, as a boy, on the Teapot Dome scandal
 %
 When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.  I
 shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do
@@ -55338,7 +55358,7 @@ to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."
 When I say the magic word to all these people, they will vanish forever.
 I will then say the magic words to you, and you, too, will vanish -- never
 to be seen again.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu"
 %
 When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
 it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
@@ -55543,7 +55563,7 @@ Behind blue eyes.
 No one knows what its like to be hated,
 	to be fated,
 To telling only lies.
-		-- The Who
+		-- The Who, "Behind Blue Eyes"
 %
 When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was,
 at her request, moved to a different room.  She told me she didn't
@@ -55617,7 +55637,7 @@ is away and you get twice as much done.
 		-- Daniel B. Luten
 %
 When smashing monuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.
-		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+		-- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"
 %
 When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
 big changes, it means that they want you to change first.
@@ -55685,7 +55705,7 @@ When the candles are out all women are fair.
 When the cup is full, carry it level.
 %
 When the doubt vanishes and the issue becomes evident, stupidity reigns.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.
 		-- Billy Sunday
@@ -55744,7 +55764,7 @@ When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look
 like a nail.
 %
 When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 When the revolution comes, count your change.
 %
@@ -55793,7 +55813,7 @@ is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
 		-- H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow"
 %
 When there is an old maid in the house, a watch dog is unnecessary.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 When things go well, expect something to
 explode, erode, collapse or just disappear.
@@ -55850,7 +55870,7 @@ When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
 When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes;
 when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not
 even our virtues.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.
 		-- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"
@@ -55954,7 +55974,7 @@ When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
 %
 When you jump for joy, beware that no-one
 moves the ground from beneath your feet.
-		-- Stanislaw Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+		-- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"
 %
 When you know absolutely nothing about the topic, make your forecast by
 asking a carefully selected probability sample of 300 others who don't
@@ -56027,7 +56047,7 @@ You're driving a Beamer.
 When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
 Wretched, bored, dejected, only
 Here's the rub, my darling dear,
-I feel the same when you are hear.
+I feel the same when you are near.
 		-- Samuel Hoffenstein, "Poems in Praise of Practically Nothing"
 %
 When you're bored with yourself, marry, and be bored with someone else.
@@ -56053,12 +56073,12 @@ When you're ready to give up the struggle, who can you surrender to?
 %
 WHEN YOU'RE RIDING IN A TIME MACHINE way far into the future, don't stick
 your elbow out the window or it'll turn into a fossil.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to
 laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.  Struggle
 to become a parrot or something.
-		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988
+		-- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988)
 %
 Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean "not really".
 		-- Dave Parnas
@@ -56166,7 +56186,7 @@ Where there are visible vapors, having their prevenance
 in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.
 %
 Where there is much light there is also much shadow.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 Where there's a whip there's a way.
 %
@@ -56343,11 +56363,11 @@ Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
 Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.
 		-- Thomas Tusser
 %
-Who is D.B. Cooper, and where is he now?
+Who is D. B. Cooper, and where is he now?
 %
 Who is John Galt?
 %
-Who is W.O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
+Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
 %
 Who loves me will also love my dog.
 		-- John Donne
@@ -56396,7 +56416,7 @@ Whoever named it "necking" was a poor judge of anatomy.
 %
 Whoever tells a lie cannot be pure in heart -- and only the
 pure in heart can make a good soup.
-		-- Ludwig Van Beethoven
+		-- Ludwig van Beethoven
 %
 Whoever would lie usefully should lie seldom.
 %
@@ -56632,7 +56652,7 @@ you knowing nothing?
 %
 Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they
 are another's.
-		 -- Susanna Martin, executed for witchcraft, 1681
+		-- Susanna Martin, executed for witchcraft, 1681
 %
 Why not? -- What? -- Why not? -- Why should I not send it? -- Why should I
 not dispatch it? -- Why not? -- Strange!  I don't know why I shouldn't --
@@ -56696,7 +56716,7 @@ Why You Can't Run When There's Trouble in the Office:
 	No matter where you stand, no matter how far or fast you flee,
 when it hits the fan, as much as possible will be propelled in your
 direction, and almost none will be returned to the source.
-		-- John L.  Shelton
+		-- John L. Shelton
 %
 Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail?
 		-- The Tasmanian Devil
@@ -56735,7 +56755,7 @@ Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"	I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
 William with a thirst for gore,		Little Willie mean as hell,
 Nailed the baby to the door.		Threw his sister in the well!
 Mother said, with humor quaint:		Said his mother when drawing water,
-"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."	'sure is hard to raise a daughter.'
+"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."	"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
 		-- Harry Graham, "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes", 1899
 %
 Wilner's Observation:
@@ -56874,7 +56894,7 @@ Hundred billion castaways looking for a call.
 WOLF:
 	A man who knows all the ankles.
 %
-Woman:	    "Is Yoo-Hoo hyphenated?"
+Woman:      "Is Yoo-Hoo hyphenated?"
 Yogi Berra: "No, ma'am, its not even carbonated."
 %
 Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
@@ -56932,7 +56952,7 @@ Women are just like men, only different.
 %
 Women are like elephants to me: I like to
 look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Women are not much, but they are the best other sex we have.
 		-- Herold
@@ -56950,7 +56970,7 @@ Women can keep a secret just as well as men,
 but it takes more of them to do it.
 %
 Women come and go, but BSD is forever.
-				-- Derek Young
+		-- Derek Young
 %
 Women complain about sex more than men.  Their gripes fall into two
 categories: (1) Not enough and (2) Too much.
@@ -56975,7 +56995,7 @@ crying, a little dying -- and a good deal of lying.
 Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners.
 In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the
 original earth clinging to the roots.
-		-- Bierce
+		-- Ambrose Bierce
 %
 Women reason with the heart and are much less often wrong
 than men who reason with the head.
@@ -56996,15 +57016,15 @@ than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
 %
 Women waste men's lives and think they have
 indemnified them by a few gracious words.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women, when they are not in love, have all
 the cold blood of an experienced attorney.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women, when they have made a sheep of a man,
 always tell him that he is a lion with a will of iron.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women who want to be equal to men lack imagination.
 %
@@ -57201,7 +57221,7 @@ a valentine.
 		-- Christopher Plummer
 %
 World tensions have, if anything, increased in the quarter century
-since H.G. Wells uttered his glum warning:  "There is no more evil
+since H. G. Wells uttered his glum warning:  "There is no more evil
 thing on earth than race prejudice, none at all.  I write deliberately
 -- it is the worst single thing in life now.  It justifies and holds
 together more baseness, cruelty and abomination than any other sort of
@@ -57280,7 +57300,7 @@ Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
 %
 Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
 %
-write-protect tab, n:
+Write-protect tab, n.:
 	A small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly left
 	by disk manufacturers.  The use of the tab creates an error message
 	once in a while, but its aesthetic value far outweighs the momentary
@@ -57455,7 +57475,7 @@ X windows:
 Incompatibility.  Shoddiness.  Uselessness.
 	X windows.
 %
-Xerox does it again and again and again and...
+Xerox does it again and again and again and ...
 %
 Xerox never comes up with anything original.
 %
@@ -57856,7 +57876,7 @@ And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
 	"I feared it might injure the brain;
 But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
 	Why, I do it again and again."
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 "You are old," said the youth, "and I'm told by my peers
 	That your lectures bore people to death.
@@ -57877,7 +57897,7 @@ Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak --
 	And argued each case with my wife;
 And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
 	Has lasted the rest of my life."
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 "You are old," said the youth, "and your programs don't run,
 	And there isn't one language you like;
@@ -57898,7 +57918,7 @@ Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
 	"I kept all my limbs very supple
 By the use of this ointment -- one shilling the box --
 	Allow me to sell you a couple?"
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
 	And make errors few people could bear;
@@ -57919,7 +57939,7 @@ Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose --
 	Said his father.  "Don't give yourself airs!
 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
 	Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865)
 %
 You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
 %
@@ -58003,7 +58023,7 @@ They're the ones with arrows sticking out of their backs.
 %
 You can approach truth, but never capture it.
 Lies can be had 'round the corner.
-		-- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]
+		-- Poul Henningsen (1894-1967)
 %
 You can be replaced by this computer.
 %
@@ -58111,7 +58131,7 @@ You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
 %
 You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
 the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
-		-- Alan Perlis
+		-- Alan J. Perlis
 %
 You can move the world with an idea,
 but you have to think of it first.
@@ -58159,7 +58179,8 @@ You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
 You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
 %
 You can write a small letter to Grandma in the filename.
-		-- Forbes Burkowski, CS, University of Washington
+		-- Forbes Burkowski, Computer Science 454,
+		   University of Washington
 %
 You canna change the laws of physics, Captain;
 I've got to have thirty minutes!
@@ -58191,14 +58212,14 @@ You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
 %
 You can't cheat an honest man, never give
 a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 You can't cheat the phone company.
 %
 You can't cross a large chasm in two small jumps.
 %
 You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.
-		-- Richard Nixon, 1952
+		-- Richard M. Nixon (1952)
 %
 You can't erase a dream, you can only wake me up.
 		-- Peter Frampton
@@ -58345,7 +58366,7 @@ form.
 %
 You first parent of the human race... who ruined yourself for an apple,
 what might you have done for a truffled turkey?
-		-- Brillat-savarin, "Physiologie du Gout"
+		-- Brillat-Savarin, "Physiologie du go^ut"
 %
 You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 %
@@ -58354,7 +58375,7 @@ You get what you pay for.
 %
 You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me
 from your own life.  May it all turn out to your happiness.
-		-- Goethe
+		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 %
 You go down to the pickup station,
 	craving warmth and beauty;
@@ -58476,7 +58497,9 @@ You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
 %
 You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are.
 If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
-		-- Lewis Carroll
+		-- Lewis Carroll,
+		   "Through the Looking-Glass,
+		   and What Alice Found There" (1871)
 %
 You humans are all alike.
 %
@@ -58523,7 +58546,7 @@ Goodtime Charlie's got the blues.
 %
 You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
 are now extinct.
-		-- M. Somerset Maugham
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
 You know, the difference between this company and
 the Titanic is that the Titanic had paying customers.
@@ -58535,7 +58558,7 @@ you can always change the channel.
 %
 You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends
 on whether [the press] fear you.  It is just as simple as that.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 You know what I wish?  I wish all the scum of the Earth had one throat
 and I had my hands about it.
@@ -58675,7 +58698,7 @@ That a young man married is a young man marred.
 %
 You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with
 him.
-		-- Ed Howe
+		-- Edgar W. Howe
 %
 You may get an opportunity for advancement today.  Watch it!
 %
@@ -59301,7 +59324,7 @@ YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
 	by Miss Fortune
 
 ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
-	Matters are not good, where you health is concerned.  This Fall, be
+	Matters are not good, where your health is concerned.  This Fall, be
 sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly"
 and you will live all the days of your life.
 
@@ -59569,15 +59592,15 @@ You've been telling me to relax all the way here,
 and now you're telling me just to be myself?
 		-- The Return of the Secaucus Seven
 %
-You've decked the halls with a dozen miles' length of electric lights. 
-Your front lawn is a gleaming testament of incandescent wonder. The neighbors 
-wear sunglasses 24/7,  and orbiting satellites have officially picked up 
+You've decked the halls with a dozen miles' length of electric lights.
+Your front lawn is a gleaming testament of incandescent wonder. The neighbors
+wear sunglasses 24/7,  and orbiting satellites have officially picked up
 and pinpointed your house as the brightest spot on earth.
-        
-You've finally put together the Christmas wonderland of your dreams... now 
+
+You've finally put together the Christmas wonderland of your dreams... now
 if only you could get a good picture of it.
-        
-Photographing holiday lights is no easy task. 
+
+Photographing holiday lights is no easy task.
 		-- from an email sent by photojojo.com
 %
 You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.
@@ -59599,7 +59622,7 @@ Zall's Laws:
 	2: How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom
 	   door you're on.
 %
-zeal, n:
+Zeal, n.:
 	Quality seen in new graduates -- if you're quick.
 %
 Zero Defects, n.:
@@ -59613,26 +59636,10 @@ Zeus gave Leda the bird.
 Zisla's Law:
 	If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
 %
-Zounds!  I was never so bethumped with words
-since I first called my brother's father dad.
+Zounds!  I was never so bethump'd with words
+since I first call'd my brother's father dad.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "King John"
 %
 Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
 	People are always available for work in the past tense.
 %
-This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
-intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which they
-are addressed. If you are not the intended recipient of this
-transmission, please delete it immediately.
-
-Obviously, I am the idiot who sent it to you by mistake. Furthermore,
-there is no way I can force you to delete it. Worse, by the time you
-have reached this disclaimer you have already read the document.
-Telling you to forget it would seem absurd. In any event, I have no
-legal right to force you to take any action upon this email anyway.
-
-This entire disclaimer is just a waste of everyone's time and
-bandwidth. Therefore, let us just forget the whole thing and enjoy a
-cold beer instead.
- 		-- found on the dovecot mailinglist
-%
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
index 5c89363..3078315 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@ Now it even hurts to take a piss.
 Oh why did I get syphilis?
 
 Why'd she have VD?  I don't know, she wouldn't say.
-I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday ....
+I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday ...
 		-- To the tune of "Yesterday"
 %
 		My Favorite Drugs [Sung to My Favorite Things]
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ Testicles, testicles, said Daddy.  A man gets tired of testicles.
 %
 	... But among the children of the Great Society there were
 those whose skins were black.  And lo!  Their portion was niggardly,
-and of the fatted calf they were sucking hind teat....
+and of the fatted calf they were sucking hind teat ...
 	Now it came to pass that a prophet rose up amongst them, and
 they called him King.  And he went unto Pharaoh and said, "Let my
 people go to the front of the bus."
@@ -201,7 +201,7 @@ you explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?"
 %
 	A great American Olympic wrestler was receiving last-minute advice
 from his coach about the upcoming match with the Soviet Champion.
- 	"This Russian guy is really good, very strong and quick.  But I think
+	"This Russian guy is really good, very strong and quick.  But I think
 you can take him.  Remember, though, like I've told you before, don't let
 him get you in the Pretzel hold.  With his strength you'd never get out."
 	The American leaps onto the mat, and within moments the two behemoths
@@ -215,7 +215,7 @@ scream and the two wrestlers fly apart, the American regaining control and
 pinning the Russian.  After the match, in the dressing room, the coach
 finally gets the winner alone.  "Great job!  But how the hell did you get out
 of the Pretzel Hold?  I thought it was over for sure!"
- 	"Well, I did too.  I was in the hold, about to be pinned, when I saw
+	"Well, I did too.  I was in the hold, about to be pinned, when I saw
 this huge pair of testicles hanging right in front of my eyes.  I figured
 what the hell, so I stretched forward and bit them as hard as I could.  Coach,
 you just don't know your own strength 'til you've bitten your own balls!"
@@ -663,13 +663,6 @@ posh hotel.
 	"Why, yes, young man," said the gentleman.  "Would you bring me
 a postcard?"
 %
-	As we know, there are known knowns.  There are things we know we
-know.  We also know there are known unknowns.  That is to say, we know
-there are some things we do not know.  But there are also unknown
-unknowns; the ones we don't know we don't know.
-		-- United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
-		   12 February 2002, Regarding the US invasion of Iraq
-%
 	"Are pirates an ethnic group?  Or are they just people who burn
 illegal cds?"
 	"Arrrr!  We prefer to be called Buccaneer-Americans."
@@ -693,6 +686,13 @@ immersible for easy cleaning.  SofSqueeze's flesh-toned exterior is finely
 textured for a realistic effect.  Requires 4K RAM, a DB25 serial port and
 limited graphics capability.  Comes fully assembled, with 4 AA batteries.
 %
+	As we know, there are known knowns.  There are things we know we
+know.  We also know there are known unknowns.  That is to say, we know
+there are some things we do not know.  But there are also unknown
+unknowns; the ones we don't know we don't know.
+		-- United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
+		   12 February 2002, Regarding the US invasion of Iraq
+%
 	At an elegant dinner party, Lady Astor once leaned across the table
 to remark, "If you were my husband, Winston, I'd poison your coffee."  "And
 if you were my wife, I'd beat the shit out of you," came Churchill's
@@ -812,7 +812,7 @@ captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes."
 	"Wha-wha-wha-what does regret mean?"
 	"Well, son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret
 something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done.  And by
-the way, if you see your Mom this weekend, would be you sure and tell her,
+the way, if you see your Mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her,
 `SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!'"
 		-- Butthole Surfers, "Sweat Loaf"
 %
@@ -1194,7 +1194,7 @@ man.  Mud-as-man alone could speak.
 	"Certainly," said man.
 	"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
 	And He went away.
-		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu"
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu"
 %
 	In the beginning was the DEMO Project.  And the Project was
 without form.  And darkness was upon the staff members thereof.  So
@@ -1742,14 +1742,14 @@ I use the tongs."
 the week.  As he approaches the Jones' house, Mrs. Jones greets him warmly at
 the door.  "Please come in!  We're very grateful for your years of service to
 us and our neighborhood.  I've prepared something special for you."
- 	In walks the mailman, to a graciously appointed dining room, where
+	In walks the mailman, to a graciously appointed dining room, where
 Mrs. Jones has prepared a sumptuous lunch.  After dumping his letter satchel
 on the couch, he and Mrs. Jones have a charming meal.  As the mailman finished
 his last glass of wine, thanking his hostess profusely, she stops him from
 leaving and disappears upstairs.  She returns in a moment, in a daring
 negligee, and takes the astonished postman to the bedroom, where the elaborate
 farewell is consummated between the sheets.
- 	As he's putting his pants on, Mrs. Jones reaches into her nightstand,
+	As he's putting his pants on, Mrs. Jones reaches into her nightstand,
 pulls out a dollar bill, and hands it to him.  Reacting to his astonished
 look, she says, "Well, I told my husband that you were retiring and that
 we should do something for you.  He said 'Fuck him.  Give him a dollar!'"
@@ -1793,12 +1793,12 @@ did to us?"
 	The Split-Atom Blues
 
 Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine,
-    Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline....
+    Gimme jeans by Calvin Klein ...
 But if you split those atoms fine,
     Mama keep 'em off those genes of mine!
 
 Gimme zits, take my dough,
-    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll....
+    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll ...
 Call the devil and sell my soul,
     But Mama keep dem atoms whole!
 		-- Milo Bloom, "Bloom County"
@@ -2089,7 +2089,7 @@ three days."
 %
 	We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the
 drugs began to take hold.  I remember saying something like "I feel a bit
-lightheaded; maybe you should drive...."  And suddenly there was a terrible
+lightheaded; maybe you should drive ..."  And suddenly there was a terrible
 roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all
 swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a
 hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas.  And a voice was
@@ -2244,7 +2244,7 @@ obscure such reality.
 		-- Steve Allen
 %
 ... And then there's the guy who bought 20,000 bras, cut them in half,
-and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps....
+and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps ...
 %
 ... But the reward of a successful collaboration is a thing that cannot
 be produced by either of the parties working alone.  It is akin to the
@@ -2332,7 +2332,7 @@ your balls.
  3. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.
  4. You don't have to let a beer win.
  5. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to
-	sleep with a beer, too.
+	sleep with it, too.
  6. A beer helps with the housework.
  7. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
  8. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
@@ -2714,9 +2714,9 @@ fought, we noticed 2 more Fokkers coming at us from above and 2 more
 Fokkers, fresh from the landing field, come to join the battle".
 At this second and third mention of `Fokkers' the class was almost laughing
 openly, and the teacher interrupted the story to ask the pilot to explain
-to the class that a 'Fokkers' was a particular type of plane flown by the
+to the class that a `Fokker' was a particular type of plane flown by the
 German Air Force.
-	He replied, "Ya, dat is true, but these Fokkers were Messerschmidts".
+	He replied, "Ya, dat is true, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts."
 %
 A group of scientists discovered an apelike creature in the jungle, which
 they hoped would prove to be the missing link.  The proof of their theory,
@@ -3231,7 +3231,7 @@ by the propensity to be sexually aroused by the sight of males.
 %
 A nuclear family is out golfing one day, when it becomes clear that Dad isn't
 going to win any trophies, at least on this course.  On the 3rd hole, after
-two miserable bogies, he misses a two foot put and exclaims, "Shit!"
+two miserable bogies, he misses a two foot putt and exclaims, "Shit!"
 	His wife glances over at their sixteen year old daughter and says
 nothing.
 	On the fourth hole Dad tees off with an incredible hook, and, after
@@ -3591,7 +3591,7 @@ A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social
 pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate
 woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without
 love, without virtue, without sex.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.
 		-- Pancho Villa
@@ -3658,9 +3658,10 @@ received a telegram from their sister.  It read:
 
 	I liked the couch falling apart when we sat on it.  I was amused
 	when the shower went cold five minutes after it started.  But I'm
-	going to kill whoever put the novacaine into the KY jelly...
+	going to kill whoever put the novocaine into the KY jelly...
 %
-A.A.A.A.A.: An organization for drunks who drive.
+A.A.A.A.A., n.:
+	An organization for drunks who drive.
 %
 Aboard the good ship Venus,		The cabin boy, the captain's joy,
 The mast it was a penis,		A cunning little nipper,
@@ -3837,7 +3838,7 @@ down."
 "Algorithms" is an anagram for "Hilt orgasm".  Maybe this explains
 the popularity of this field of study in computer science.
 %
-alimony, n:
+Alimony, n.:
 	Having an ex you can bank on.
 %
 All a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a warm
@@ -3930,7 +3931,7 @@ willing that either the history of the content of religion should be taught
 in this spirit; while those to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely
 a technical device, but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must
 protest against its being taught in any other spirit.
-		-- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
+		-- John Dewey, "Democracy in the Schools" (1908)
 %
 Alright, yes, date, and shop, and hang out, and go to school ... and
 save the world from unspeakable demons.  You know, I want to do girlie
@@ -3967,7 +3968,7 @@ main may!'"
 Always talk to your wife while you're
 making love... if there's a phone handy.
 %
-ambition, n:
+Ambition, n.:
 	An ant crawling up an elephant's leg with rape on his mind.
 %
 America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesman
@@ -4153,7 +4154,7 @@ open.  "What's the matter with you?" he said. "Born in a barn?"
 %
 And prively he caughte hire by the queynte,
 And heeld hire harde by the haunche-bones.
-		--Geoffrey Chaucer, The Miller's Tale
+		-- Geoffrey Chaucer, "The Miller's Tale"
 %
 And so it goes.  It is humiliating, when you should know better, to become
 victim of the timeless story of the little brown dog running across the
@@ -4214,7 +4215,7 @@ daiquiri.  The bartender looks him over with amusement and says: "We don't
 serve your kind, buddy, why don't you get out of here before the boys come
 in and kick your ass?"
 	The guy whimpers a little and lisps, "Pleasse misssture I am soooo
-thurstay...."
+thurstay ..."
 	Well, the bartender feels somewhat sorry for him and hands him a beer
 on the house on the condition that he drink it in the back and leave as soon
 as he's done.  A little while later, a hulking cowboy walks in and up to the
@@ -4284,7 +4285,7 @@ be childless.
 
 The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is,
 doubtless, a separation.
-		-- Lord Chesterfield, letter to his son, 1763
+		-- Lord Chesterfield, letter to his son (1763)
 %
 As for Carter being for registration but against the draft, isn't that
 sort of being like for putting it in and not taking it out?  Even if it
@@ -4466,7 +4467,7 @@ Unless you get a good percentage of her price ...
 %
 Beat me, bite me, whip me, fuck me, make me write bad checks!
 %
-Beauty, n:
+Beauty, n.:
 	The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
@@ -4489,7 +4490,7 @@ we are part of the women's liberation movement.
 %
 Bedfellows make strange politicians.
 %
-beef stroganoff, n:
+Beef stroganoff, n.:
 	A bull masturbating.
 %
 Behold the unborn fetus and
@@ -4631,7 +4632,7 @@ campus by another religious organization, and the system was first used on
 Brother Jim, who suffered a broken rib and numerous small bruises, in
 addition to the usual humiliation.
 %
-brunette bush, n:
+Brunette bush, n.:
 	The dark side of the moon.
 %
 Buffy:	Am I repulsive?  If there was something repulsive about me, you'd
@@ -4662,7 +4663,7 @@ Xander:	Yay.
 		-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Prom"
 		   Season 3, Episode 20
 %
-bug, n:
+Bug, n.:
 	A son of a glitch.
 %
 Build a better mousetrap, the saying goes -- and with the brassiere,
@@ -4709,7 +4710,7 @@ California is proud to be the home of the freeway.
 %
 Call for Ms. Lingus, Ms. Connie Lingus...
 %
-callgirl, n:
+Callgirl, n.:
 	A negotiable blond.
 %
 Camille's Axiom:
@@ -4877,7 +4878,7 @@ G's Third Law:
 	is composed of only two basic substances: magic and bullshit.
 
 H's Dictum:
-	There is no magic....
+	There is no magic...
 %
 Claude believed that only smart attractive people had the right to
 fuck, and it sincerely hurt him when he discovered evidence to the
@@ -4886,7 +4887,7 @@ contrary.
 %
 Cleveland still lives.  God MUST be dead.
 %
-clitoris, n:
+Clitoris, n.:
 	A haired trigger.
 %
 CLONE OF MY OWN (to Home on the Range)
@@ -4921,7 +4922,7 @@ Cocaine: using tomorrow's energy today.
 Cocaine's a joke!
 	(Who's got the next line?)
 %
-cock-sucker, n:
+Cock-sucker, n.:
 	Someone who got caught doing what you got away with.
 %
 Coffee without caffeine.  Beer without alcohol.  Milk without fat.
@@ -4930,7 +4931,7 @@ What's next?  Bridal suites with bunk beds?
 %
 Coito ergo sum
 %
-coitus interruptus, n:
+Coitus interruptus, n.:
 	A jerky movement following the words (by either sex partner)
 	"I want to have your child."
 %
@@ -4948,15 +4949,12 @@ And eliminates all the palaver.
 COLD:
 	When the local flashers are handing out written descriptions.
 %
-cold, adj:
+Cold, adj.:
 	When your dog sticks to the fire hydrant.
 %
 College is like a woman -- you work so hard to get in, and nine months
 later you wish you'd never come.
 %
-College is like a woman -- you work so hard to get in,
-and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
-%
 Come along and sing a song and join our family.
 B & D
 S & M
@@ -5005,7 +5003,7 @@ Communists do it without class.
 %
 Computer scientists are programmed to do it by macro insertion.
 %
-computerfirm nymphomaniac, n:
+Computerfirm nymphomaniac, n.:
 	Hot Apple pie.
 %
 Condoms are like listening to a symphony with cotton in your ears.
@@ -5078,7 +5076,7 @@ BEDLAM:
 CHAOS:
 	Four women plus one luncheon check.
 %
-confusion, n:
+Confusion, n.:
 	Father's Day in San Francisco.
 %
 Conservative, n.:
@@ -5090,10 +5088,10 @@ Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.
 CONSULTANT:
 	Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can't get a date.
 %
-continental breakfast, n:
+Continental breakfast, n.:
 	A roll in bed with some honey.
 %
-Coors, n:
+Coors, n.:
 	Like making love in a canoe -- fucking close to water.
 %
 Copa-ulation:
@@ -5135,14 +5133,14 @@ If you're not going to sack it, go home and wack it.
 Cox's philosophy:
 	Life's a bitch, then you die.
 %
-coyote love, n:
+Coyote love, n.:
 	Coyote love is a nebulous term.  Basically, what it involves is
 	the taking of a member of the preferred sex home from a singles
 	bar.  Then, when you wake up the next morning, they're sleeping
 	on your arm.  So, rather than wake them up as you escape, you
 	chew off your arm at the shoulder.
 
-coyote ugly, adj:
+Coyote ugly, adj.:
 	When you chew off the other arm 'cause she'll be looking for
 	a one-armed man!
 
@@ -5159,7 +5157,7 @@ to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
 general understanding of science as an enterprise?
 		-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer"
 %
-crew, n:
+Crew, n.:
 	Eight big men and their cute little cox.
 %
 Cried Miss Pratt: "What are you staring at?
@@ -5247,7 +5245,7 @@ Dear Abby:
 	I just met the most terrific girl and we get along fabulously.  I
 think she's the one for me.  There's just one problem: I can't remember
 from our first date if she told me she had TB or VD.  What should I do?
-			--Confused
+			-- Confused
 
 Dear Confused:
 	If she coughs, fuck her.
@@ -5329,10 +5327,10 @@ of her husband with his penis inside the pencil sharpener on the counter.
 %
 Dial 911.  Make a cop come.
 %
-diaphragm, n:
+Diaphragm, n.:
 	A childproof cap.
 %
-dicker, v:
+Dicker, v.:
 	What you do to your wife if arguing doesn't work.
 %
 Did Detroit invent the back seat to destroy the morals of America?
@@ -5410,7 +5408,7 @@ UP PERISCOPE!!!
 
 (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)
 %
-divorce, n:
+Divorce, n.:
 	A change of wife.
 %
 Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
@@ -5439,7 +5437,7 @@ very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
 		-- Dick Brandon
 %
 Does he treat your breasts like unripe grapefruit?  Who needs him?
-		-- `J', "The Sensuous Woman"
+		-- J, "The Sensuous Woman"
 %
 Does it rape elephants?
 		-- Brent Byer
@@ -5518,7 +5516,7 @@ say, and when he was done, grinned broadly and replied, 'Eat it raw, fuzz
 nuts.'"
 		-- "The Churchill Wit", National Lampoon
 %
-dyke, n:
+Dyke, n.:
 	A woman who kick-starts her vibrator.  And rolls her own
 	tampons.
 %
@@ -5572,7 +5570,7 @@ Eleven reasons a cucumber is better than a man:
 	(11) With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you
 	     left it.
 %
-embarrassment, n:
+Embarrassment, n.:
 	Finding out your German Shepherd has the clap.
 %
 Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant
@@ -5580,7 +5578,7 @@ professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a
 male schlemiel.
 		-- Ewald Nyquist
 %
-Erogenous zone, n:
+Erogenous zone, n.:
 	The skin you touch to love.
 %
 Es giebt ein Arbeiter von Tinz,
@@ -5589,7 +5587,7 @@ Er schlaft mit ein Madel von Linz.
 	Ich hore Mann kommen."
 "Jacht, jacht," sagt der Plummer, "Ich binz."
 %
-eternity, n:
+Eternity, n.:
 	The length of time between when you come and he leaves.
 %
 Ethnologists up with the Sioux
@@ -5680,7 +5678,7 @@ do with ones time.  Like lie in the sun and sleep.  Or go exploring the world.
 Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.
 		-- Ellyn Mustard
 %
-exotic dancer, n:
+Exotic dancer, n.:
 	A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.
 %
 Exuberant Sue from Anjou
@@ -5694,7 +5692,7 @@ Buffy:	It didn't suck.
 		-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bad Girls"
 		   Season 3, Episode 14
 %
-falsie salesman, n:
+Falsie salesman, n.:
 	Fuller bust man.
 %
 Famous last words:
@@ -5729,17 +5727,17 @@ Shrieks and screams were heard from Grandma
 He had chased her up a tree!
 	(chorus)
 %
-felt tip, v:
+Felt tip, v.:
 	Past tense for a breast examination!
 %
 Female ballet dancers are the bravest girls around.  Who else would take a
 flying leap into the arms of a homosexual and expect to be caught?
 		-- Rita Rudner
 %
-female, n:
+Female, n.:
 	Life support system for a pussy.
 %
-Feminism, n:
+Feminism, n.:
 	A political position which seeks to rebuild society so that
 	both men and women are treated as women wish to be treated.
 %
@@ -5801,7 +5799,7 @@ He's so neat, he's so cool,
 Walks across my swimming pool.
 Has anybody...
 %
-Flirt, n:
+Flirt, n.:
 	A girl whose favorite man is the next one.
 %
 Floating idly one day through the air,
@@ -5844,7 +5842,7 @@ to the heads of unfaithful men.  I brought forth destruction and chaos
 for the pleasure of the lower beings.  I was feared and worshiped across
 the mortal globe.  And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High.  A mortal.
 A child ...  and I'm flunking math.
-		-- Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Dopplegangland"
+		-- Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Doppelgangland"
 		   Season 3, Episode 16
 %
 For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all.
@@ -6130,13 +6128,13 @@ It satisfies a normal need. -- I like it.
 	It turns your spine to fucking jell,
 It damns your soul to Eternal Hell! -- I like it.
 %
-fuck-me-pumps, n:
+Fuck-me pumps, n.:
 	Stiletto heels of a certain length, usually black patent leather.
 The proper designation is "throw-me-down-and-fuck-me" pumps.  Shoes with
 heels just high enough to let the frayed tip of a bullwhip trail around
 them properly.
 %
-fuckoff, n:
+Fuckoff, n.:
 	The tie breaker at the Miss America Beauty Pageant.
 %
 Gardeners do it in raised beds.
@@ -6198,7 +6196,7 @@ I'm too hot, too hot for you.		I'm the queen of babes supreme,
 					But you'll only see me in you dreams.
 "Well?  What'd she say??"		I'm too hot, too hot for you.
 "Well, she didn't say no..."
- 		-- Barry and the Bookbinders, "The Worst She Can Say is No"
+		-- Barry and the Bookbinders, "The Worst She Can Say is No"
 %
 GET OFF THE FUCKING SYSTEM THIS INSTANT, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!
 %
@@ -6428,7 +6426,7 @@ or they will stick you in the dock,
 and you won't come back.
 		-- Monty Python, "The Meaning of Life"
 %
-good scout, n:
+Good scout, n.:
 	Someone who knows the lay of the land and will take you to her.
 %
 Gorbachev woke up early one morning, and felt great.  He walked over to his
@@ -6475,7 +6473,7 @@ Gross, adj.:
 	When your grandmother kisses you goodnight and
 	slips you some tongue.
 %
-Gynecologist, n:
+Gynecologist, n.:
 	Someone who spends their time spreading old wives' tails.
 %
 HACKER:
@@ -6498,7 +6496,7 @@ Haggis, n.:
 considered by them to be not only a delicacy but fit for human
 consumption.  The minced heart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or
 other animal are mixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the sheep's
-intestinal stomach-bag and ... Excuse me a minute....
+intestinal stomach-bag and ... Excuse me a minute ...
 %
 Half the posts to this group are about masturbation and the other half
 are about penis size.  And what I want to know is, if all you're doing
@@ -6519,7 +6517,7 @@ Handy hint:
 %
 Hang gliders come down very slowly.
 %
-Hangover, n:
+Hangover, n.:
 	The burden of proof.
 %
 HAPPINESS:
@@ -7146,7 +7144,7 @@ And when he did, he dropped stone dead,
 'Cause the blasted thing had a left-hand thread!
 %
 Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther
-King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed:
+King, Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed:
 
 	* Governmental offices
 	* Post offices
@@ -7269,7 +7267,7 @@ in jeopardy, why, I'd never have lit one!
 HONOR:
 	Almost as good as in 'er.
 %
-horny, adj:
+Horny, adj.:
 	When your cock gets hard if the wind blows.
 %
 Horsecrap, little brother.  There's always something more to be done.
@@ -7323,13 +7321,13 @@ bush, shoot more often and *always* eat what they shoot.
 %
 Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.
 %
-hypocrite, n:
+Hypocrite, n.:
 	A man who says he likes cats, but won't eat pussy.
 %
 I am an atheist, thank God!
 %
 I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it
-once was ... an arctic wilderness
+once was ... an arctic wilderness.
 		-- Steve Martin
 %
 I bet you think you're pretty cool driving around without auto insurance.
@@ -7350,7 +7348,7 @@ I've reached the point where I might do *anything* to stop the war.  We'll
 just slip the word to them that "For God's sake, you know, Nixon is obsessed
 about Communism.  We can't restrain him when he's angry -- and he has his
 hand on the nuclear button."
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 I came; I saw; I fucked up.
 %
@@ -7406,13 +7404,12 @@ I don't care who you are, Fatso.  Get those reindeer off my roof.
 %
 I don't discriminate on the basis of sex.
 		-- Bisexuality, 101
-
 		[An equal opportunity lover?  Ed.]
 %
 I don't give a shit what happens.  I want you all to stonewall it.  Let
 them plead the Fifth Amendment, cover up, or anything else if it'll save
 the plan.
-		-- Richard Nixon
+		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
 I don't know why women get so upset, they have half the
 money and all the pussy.
@@ -7530,7 +7527,7 @@ By the tricks that he makes his foreskin do.
 %
 I know what you're up to, you white-feathered fiend!
 Go release your bowels on some lesser personage!
-		-- W.C. Fields, upon seeing a bird overhead
+		-- W. C. Fields, upon seeing a bird overhead
 %
 I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire -- God wouldn't trust
 an Englishman in the dark.
@@ -7589,7 +7586,6 @@ But I'm already stewed, screwed, and tattooed."
 %
 I only date queers.
 		-- Bisexuality, 101
-
 		[I'm not queer, but my boyfriend is!  Ed.]
 %
 I own my own body, but I share.
@@ -7672,7 +7668,7 @@ I was 15 years old before I found out that "damn yankee" was two words.
 %
 I was a cock-teaser at Rooster Rama.
 I used to enrage the bantams before the big bouts.
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 I was having sex just the other night, but she hung up.
 %
@@ -7680,12 +7676,12 @@ I was on vacation in Greece last summer, and was being driven round an island
 by a Greek cab-driver.  He was a friendly man, and as we drove, he told me
 about various historic and scenic places he had been involved with.
 	"See the entrance to that church over there?  I built that with my
-two sons.  But do they call me `Dimitri the church builder'?  Do they hell!"
+two sons.  But do they call me `Dimitri the church builder?'  Do they hell!"
 	As we passed a dam, he said, "See that dam?  Four of us built that
 dam by ourselves!  But do they call me `Dimitri the dam builder?'  Hell, no!"
 	As we passed a beautiful cottage, Dimitri started up again -- "See
 that house?  I built that for my wife with my own two hands!  But do they
-call me `Dimitri the home builder'?  No!  But just one little sheep!"
+call me `Dimitri the home builder?'  No!  But just one little sheep!"
 %
 I went to a wild party last night.  I tell ya, it was so wild, we played
 a new version of Russian roulette.  We passed around six girls and one
@@ -7949,7 +7945,7 @@ Will be hailed by all as miraculous!
 %
 If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a piggy-back ride on a
 buzz-saw.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 If you're Catholic you've only got two choices: periodic
 abstinence and complete continence; (you know, rhythm and blues).
@@ -8082,10 +8078,10 @@ girlfriend's name.  Yeah, I went down to the hall of records.  I said, "I'd
 like to change it... I'd like to change it to... LYING LITTLE BITCH!"
 		-- Sam Kinison
 %
-I'm unbuttoning your shirt, unzipping your jeans....
+I'm unbuttoning your shirt, unzipping your jeans ...
 
 Oh, I can feel your fingers on the keys, baby,
-	I'm getting WARM....
+	I'm getting WARM ...
 
 I am getting there, oh yes,.  Oh, my. OH YES... OHHHH!
 	...!!!rrrrrgh!!!!!
@@ -8110,7 +8106,7 @@ Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
 A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
 		-- Monty Python, "The Philosopher's Drinking Song"
 %
-impotent loser, n:
+Impotent loser, n.:
 	Someone who can't even get his hopes up.
 %
 In 1953, Stalin dies.  The politburo holds a special meeting to decide
@@ -8141,7 +8137,7 @@ Legette Hair Fastener Heat Bags; Lady O' Spain Self-Blinding Eye Shadow
 with Magic Puncture Pencil; Sanitary Napkin Rings in Little Miss, Moon
 Maid and Stuck Pig Strength; and deported Italian Napagel Balls for
 soaking or eating; and they're all slash-priced with the lady in mind...
-		-- Firesign Theatre
+		-- The Firesign Theatre
 %
 In days of old, when knights were bold,
 	And rubbers weren't invented,
@@ -8186,7 +8182,7 @@ And in peaceful submission I lay,
 My sweet little night gown of blue.
 %
 In my world, there are people in chains and we can ride them like ponies.
-		-- Evil Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Dopplegangland"
+		-- Evil Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Doppelgangland"
 		   Season 3, Episode 16
 %
 In outer space, nobody can hear you fart.
@@ -8242,7 +8238,7 @@ kissing him on the balls.
 Incest, n.:
 	Sibling revelry; a sport the whole family can enjoy.
 %
-Infatuation, n:
+Infatuation, n.:
 	When you're in love, there's a lump in your throat.
 	When you're infatuated, there's a lump in your pants.
 %
@@ -8265,8 +8261,8 @@ Re: S. White
 	Let it be noted that if she whistles that goddamned song one
 more time I'm gonna rip her fuckin' lips off.  Have a nice day.
 %
-Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time
-someone writes `bible thumpers?'
+Is it just me, or does anyone else read "bible humpers" every time
+someone writes "bible thumpers?"
 		-- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu
 %
 Isn't it odd that people who object to "foul" language are always the
@@ -8791,14 +8787,14 @@ Knowledge Engineering:
 
 A combination of:
 
-Engineering, n:
+Engineering, n.:
 	The application of science and mathematics by which the properties
 of matter and the sources of energy in nature are made useful to man in
 structures, machines, products, systems and processes.
 
 and
 
-Knowledge, n:
+Knowledge, n.:
 	Sexual intercourse.
 
 See also: Prostitution, Grantsmanship.
@@ -8822,10 +8818,10 @@ left a deep impression on him -- about how faithfully animals respond to
 intention movements, that is.
 		-- The Sciences, May/June, 1988, N.Y. Academy of Science
 %
-Kotex, n:
+Kotex, n.:
 	Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best.
 %
-Kumquat, n:
+Kumquat, n.:
 	Any of several small citrus fruits with sweet spongy rind and
 	somewhat acidic pulp that are used chiefly for preserves.
 	Extremely popular in some forms of sexual intercourse.  In fact,
@@ -8836,7 +8832,7 @@ Kumquat, n:
 	Note: this is *not* to be confused with a warning from your
 	partner that his/her parents are upstairs and probably awake.
 %
-Labia majora, n:
+Labia majora, n.:
 	The curly gates.
 %
 Lady to Golf Pro: "I was stung by bees on your golf course!"
@@ -8844,7 +8840,7 @@ Pro:	"Ummm, well, where?"
 Lady:	"Between the 1st and 2nd holes."
 Pro:	"That's going to real tough to treat."
 %
-lagnaf, n:
+Lagnaf, n.:
 	Let's All Get Naked And Fuck!
 %
 Laissez Faire Economics is the theory that if each acts like a vulture,
@@ -8860,7 +8856,7 @@ I was screwed, if you must know the truth."
 %
 Last week I saw a girl in a sweater so tight I could hardly breathe.
 %
-lawyer, n:
+Lawyer, n.:
 	Someone who can get a sodomy charge changed to "following too
 	closely."
 %
@@ -8968,7 +8964,7 @@ Lisp hackers
 	... have DEFUN while doing it.
 	... have Moby dicks.
 %
-Lisp hackers have to be bound (to-do 'it)....
+Lisp hackers have to be bound (to-do 'it) ...
 %
 Lisp programmers do it deeper and deeper and deeper.
 %
@@ -9069,7 +9065,7 @@ was because they wanted to make sure he was dead.
 		-- Samuel Goldwyn
 %
 Love comes in spurts.
-	--Devo, "Please Please"
+		-- Devo, "Please Please"
 %
 Love does not make the world go around, just up and down a bit.
 %
@@ -9091,18 +9087,18 @@ Love letters no longer they write us,
 To their homes they so seldom invite us.
 	It grieves me to say,
 	They have learned with dismay,
-We can't cure their `vulva pruritus'.
+We can't cure their "vulva pruritus."
 %
-Luser, n:
+Luser, n.:
 	Someone who picks up a female
 	hitch-hiker walking home from a date.
 %
 Ma Bell runs a baudy house.
 %
-Macho, adj:
+Macho, adj.:
 	Jogging home from a vasectomy.
 %
-Male, n:
+Male, n.:
 	Life support system for a cock.
 %
 Man in stall:
@@ -9207,10 +9203,10 @@ Just look up Mary's ...
 Masturbation!  The amazing availability of it!
 		-- James Joyce
 %
-masturbation, n:
+Masturbation, n.:
 	A self-service elevator.
 %
-masturbation, n:
+Masturbation, n.:
 	Coming unscrewed.
 %
 Math is to physics like masturbation is to sex.
@@ -9239,11 +9235,6 @@ May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow!
 Maybe if the guy who developed Twinkies hadn't had such a low
 opinion of himself they would have been an inch or two longer!
 %
-Mayor Vincent J. `Buddy' Cianci on the ACLU's suit to have a city
-nativity scene removed:
-	"They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men
-and a virgin in the whole organization."
-%
 McCoy's a seducer galore,
 And of virgins he has quite a score.
 	He tells them, "My dear,
@@ -9258,7 +9249,7 @@ McQuillan was on the stand. The case involved a railroad and several of
 the passengers who were injured.
 	"You say," thundered the counsel for the railroad, "that you saw
 the two trains crash head on while doing sixty miles an hour.  What did you
-think when you saw this happen ?"
+think when you saw this happen?"
 	"I thought," replied the Irishman, "this is one *helluva* way to run
 a railroad."
 %
@@ -9318,7 +9309,7 @@ Everything they say,
 Men will fuck mud.
 		-- Lenny Bruce
 %
-menage a trois, n:
+Menage a trois, n.:
 	Using both hands to masturbate.
 %
 Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies.  Women's magazines
@@ -9346,7 +9337,7 @@ views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so
 much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from below.
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
-Meteorologist, n:
+Meteorologist, n.:
 	A man who can look in a woman's eyes and predict whether.
 %
 Mickey Mouse has a long talk one day with a psychiatrist, after which
@@ -9385,10 +9376,10 @@ How does your garden grow?
 With silver bells and cockle shells,
 And one really fucked-up petunia.
 %
-Mistress, n:
+Mistress, n.:
 	Something between a mister and a mattress.
 %
-mixed emotions:
+Mixed emotions:
 	Watching your mother-in-law back off a cliff...
 	in your brand new Mercedes.
 %
@@ -9581,19 +9572,19 @@ seems he's making it hard for everyone but her.
 %
 National Sex Week -- don't let your meat loaf.
 %
-navel, n:
+Navel, n.:
 	A place to stash your gum on the way down.
 %
 Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
 Watch who you sleep with.
 %
-necrophilia, n:
+Necrophilia, n.:
 	Dead boring.
 
-incest, n:
+Incest, n.:
 	Relatively boring.
 %
-necrophilia, n:
+Necrophilia, n.:
 	Dropping in for a cold one.
 %
 Negotiate my ass, let's kill something!
@@ -9679,7 +9670,7 @@ Not everyone has a one-track mind.
 Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends.
 		-- Woody Allen
 %
-nothing, adj:
+Nothing, adj.:
 	A man with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.
 %
 Nothing is better than Sex.
@@ -10352,7 +10343,7 @@ OPTIMIST:
 ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE:
 	The word "No".
 %
-oral sex, n:
+Oral sex, n.:
 	The taste of things to come.
 %
 O'Riordan's Theorem:
@@ -10384,7 +10375,7 @@ national emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to
 gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it  by furnishing the
 exorbitant sums demanded.  Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem
 never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real.
-		-- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
+		-- General Douglas MacArthur (1957)
 %
 Our readers ask, "Why don't more WASPs go to orgies?"  Well, it's really
 quite simple.  They don't want to have to write all those thank-you notes.
@@ -10446,7 +10437,7 @@ the bill at the XXX South Trail Cinema featured:
 	+ Turn Up the Heat, starring Savannah
 	+ Tiger Shark, starring Raven
 %
-penis envy, n:
+Penis envy, n.:
 	The desire to be pink and wrinkled and about four inches long.
 %
 People humiliating a salami!
@@ -10473,7 +10464,7 @@ When her summer turned out quite a bummer!
 %
 Persistence, like perspiration, is 99 percent of the fine art of love.
 %
-Philadelphia flying fuck, n:
+Philadelphia flying fuck, n.:
 	Okay, see, he hangs from a chin-up bar with his feet on the arms
 	of the rocking chair.  She crouches in the rocking chair pleasuring
 	him orally.
@@ -10490,7 +10481,7 @@ Physicists do it with charm.
 Picking up a man in a bar is like a snowstorm, you never know when
 he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he'll stay.
 %
-pile driver, n:
+Pile driver, n.:
 	Local drink; two parts vodka, one part prune juice.
 %
 Planned Parenthood:
@@ -10510,11 +10501,11 @@ If you do the things we say, then you'll soon rule the nation.
 Kill your foes and enemies and then kill your relations.
 Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation.
 %
-pocket pool, n:
+Pocket pool, n.:
 	Well, for guys, it's two-ball in the side pocket.
 	For women, it's playing the slots.
 %
-polish fly, n:
+Polish fly, n.:
 	You put it in her drink and she begs you to take her bowling.
 %
 Politicians do it to everyone.
@@ -10574,10 +10565,10 @@ Pregnancy -- the worst sexually transmitted disease of them all.
 %
 Pregnancy begins with a single sell.
 %
-premature ejaculation, n:
+Premature ejaculation, n.:
 	A spoilspurt.
 %
-premature ejaculator, n:
+Premature ejaculator, n.:
 	Troubled shooter.
 %
 Premenstrual Syndrome:
@@ -10625,7 +10616,7 @@ both promise to make people feel better, but the prostitute doesn't
 make pretensions that the feelings will last once the client walks
 out the door.
 %
-pubic hair, n:
+Pubic hair, n.:
 	Organic dental floss.
 %
 Puff the Jewish dragon lived in Palestine,
@@ -10715,7 +10706,7 @@ A:	You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck
 %
 Q:	How do you tell if an elephant has been making love in your
 	backyard?
-A:	If all your trashcan liners are missing....
+A:	If all your trashcan liners are missing ...
 %
 Q:	How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher,
 	or an airline stewardess?
@@ -11087,7 +11078,7 @@ Q:	Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
 A:	Because a sheep can hear the sound of a zipper from fifty feet away.
 		-- Iain MacKintosh, Glasgow folksinger
 %
-Q:	Why do WASPs play golf ?
+Q:	Why do WASPs play golf?
 A:	So they can dress like pimps.
 %
 Q:	Why do women have vaginas?
@@ -11267,10 +11258,10 @@ weighing the odds of a slander suit.  Mayor Koch could naturally be
 reached for comment, but we chose not to listen.
 		-- Dennis Miller, "Saturday Night Live"
 %
-quickie, n:
+Quickie, n.:
 	A moment's piece.
 %
-quickie, n:
+Quickie, n.:
 	No sooner spread than done.
 %
 QWERT (kwirt) n. [MW < OW qwertyuiop, a thirteenth]  1. a unit of weight
@@ -11287,7 +11278,7 @@ Lisa:	Ralph... get off my back!!
 Randel, n.:
 	A nonsensical poem recited by Irish schoolboys as an apology
 for farting at a friend.
-		-- Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure &
+		-- Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and
 		   Preposterous Words
 %
 Raquel Welch:		36-24-36
@@ -11329,19 +11320,19 @@ you'll never have to worry about those damn bats pestering the neighbors again.
 %
 Reagan can't _a_c_t, either.
 %
-real buddy, n:
+Real buddy, n.:
 	Someone who'll go downtown and get two blowjobs, and come back
 	and give you one.
 %
-real class, adj:
+Real class, adj.:
 	When you're by yourself, fart, and say "Excuse me."
 %
 Real fur: the ultimate sadist symbol.
 %
-Reformed, n:
+Reformed, n.:
 	A synagogue that closes for the Jewish holidays.
 %
-rejection, n:
+Rejection, n.:
 	When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
 %
 Religion is fine, Churchianity sucks.
@@ -11395,7 +11386,7 @@ phone number!"
 Revenge is sleeping with your enemy's wife.
 Sweet revenge is the realization that she's a lousy lay.
 %
-rodeo fuck, n:
+Rodeo fuck, n.:
 	When you lean down and whisper in your lover's ear, "Honey, you're
 	the worst piece of ass I've ever had!".  And then try to stay on
 	for seven seconds...
@@ -11435,7 +11426,7 @@ Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.
 %
 Rugby is a game played by men with peculiarly shaped balls.
 %
-rugby, n:
+Rugby, n.:
 	A sport requiring leather balls.
 %
 Rumour has it that the intrepid New Zealanders have finally discovered
@@ -11745,7 +11736,7 @@ Let _P be a constant persuasion;
 
 "Let _V over _P be inverted
 With the square root of _M_u inserted
-	_N times into _V....
+	_N times into _V ...
 	The result, Q.E.D.,
 Is a relative!"  Einstein asserted.
 %
@@ -11936,7 +11927,7 @@ production, protects a bunch of pricks and gives everyone a false sense of
 security while they're being screwed.
 %
 Self-abuse is the most certain road to the grave.
-		-- Dr. George M. Calhoun, 1855
+		-- Dr. George M. Calhoun (1855)
 %
 SEMINARS:
 	From 'semi' and 'arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.
@@ -11957,7 +11948,7 @@ The shit has hit the fan.
 		-- Warren Zevon
 %
 Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.
-		-- Grover Cleveland, 1905
+		-- Grover Cleveland (1905)
 %
 Sex and drugs and UNIX.
 %
@@ -11996,7 +11987,7 @@ are unimportant.
 		-- Henry Miller
 %
 Sex is the poor man's opera.
-		-- G. B. Shaw
+		-- George Bernard Shaw
 %
 Sex is what women have and men want.
 %
@@ -12177,7 +12168,7 @@ Sixteen'll get you twenty.
 %
 Size counts.
 %
-small, adj:
+Small, adj.:
 	Is it in yet?
 %
 Smoking a woman is like kissing a fish.
@@ -12313,7 +12304,7 @@ Some women achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust into them.
 %
 Some women are like musical glasses.
 To keep them in tune they must be wet.
-		-- Samuel Coleridge
+		-- Samuel T. Coleridge
 %
 Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.
 		-- Noel Coward
@@ -12376,7 +12367,7 @@ Stockmayer's Theorem:
 STRAPLESS EVENING GOWN:
 	Bust truster.
 %
-stress, n:
+Stress, n.:
 	The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's
 	desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who
 	desperately needs it.
@@ -12390,7 +12381,7 @@ Success has many fathers, but failure is a bastard.
 Success is like a fart -- only your own smells nice.
 		-- James P. Hogan
 %
-successful cunnilingus:
+Successful cunnilingus, n.:
 	When you wake up the next morning with a face like a
 	frosted doughnut.
 %
@@ -12418,7 +12409,7 @@ you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
 Sure, Reagan has promised to take senility tests.  But what if he
 forgets?
 %
-swallow, v:
+Swallow, v.:
 	The (blew) bird of birth control.
 %
 Systems people do it with a small, but clean, interface.
@@ -12461,11 +12452,11 @@ Teaching undergraduates is like herding sheep.  And, like the old Basque
 sheepherder explained, whenever the livestock starts looking good to you,
 it's time to spend a night in town.
 %
-tear leather:
+Tear leather:
 	To become excited, as in the sentence "Robin Hood tore
 	his leather jerkin' off."
 %
-tearing off a quicky:
+Tearing off a quicky:
 	Gunning the jump.
 %
 Teddy Kennedy:	A Blond in Every Pond!
@@ -12875,11 +12866,6 @@ the older woman pleaded.  Reluctantly, he agreed.
 "I knew my daughter would have an explanation," she said, a note of triumph
 in her voice.  "She didn't receive your telegram!"
 %
-The Italian entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, "I Can't Get No
-Contraception", has been withdrawn after the Pope advised them to
-pull it out at the last minute.
-		-- Not the Nine O'Clock News
-%
 The investment community feels very putupon.  They feel there is no
 reason why they shouldn't earn $1 million to $200 million a year,
 and they don't want to be held responsible for the global financial
@@ -12888,6 +12874,11 @@ meltdown.
 		   Barack Obama's financial-industry fundraising party
 		   20 October 2009
 %
+The Italian entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, "I Can't Get No
+Contraception", has been withdrawn after the Pope advised them to
+pull it out at the last minute.
+		-- Not the Nine O'Clock News
+%
 The king arranged a regal marriage for his daughter -- a bond that would unite
 two great kingdoms.  Yet, because the young couple seemed so formal to each
 other, he posted a spy outside the royal wedding chamber and demanded a full
@@ -13205,7 +13196,7 @@ prohibitive, and the position ridiculous.
 		-- Disraeli, on sex
 %
 The plural of spouse is spice.
-		-- R.A. Heinlein
+		-- Robert A. Heinlein
 %
 The police were investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman
 who had jumped from a window of his 11th story office.  His voluptuous private
@@ -13557,7 +13548,7 @@ But had dribbled away all too soon.
 %
 The woman you buy -- and she is the least expensive -- takes a great
 deal of money.  The woman who gives herself takes all your time.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis".  This is true in
 almost fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people
@@ -13643,7 +13634,7 @@ There are a couple of things about her I greatly admire.
 There are also a lot of nice buildings in Haiphong.  What their
 contributions are to the war effort I don't know, but the desire to
 bomb a virgin building is terrific.
-		-- Commander Henry Urban Jr.
+		-- Commander Henry Urban, Jr.
 %
 There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,	Every sperm is sacred,
 there are Hindus and Mormons and then			Every sperm is great,
@@ -13935,6 +13926,11 @@ mind raced with fear "Will it stop?".  Exhausted, he lay down beside her.
 burned as he stared for what seemed an eternity.  Finally, his father spoke.
 	"Son, you ain't supposed to milk the damn cow till mornin'!"
 %
+They're just jealous because they don't have three
+wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.
+		-- Mayor Vincent J. "Buddy" Cianci, on the
+		   ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed.
+%
 This Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal Assistance.
 Czech:	Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked me down and
 	took my Russian watch.
@@ -14035,7 +14031,7 @@ This limerick is **SO**FILTHY** that it would offend you.  So I'll put
 
 	Di-dah, di-dah, di-dah di-dah,
 	Di-dah di-dah di-dah, di-dah;
-		di-dah di-dah di-dah?
+		Di-dah di-dah di-dah?
 		Di-dah di-dah di-dah.
 	Di-dah di-dah, di-dah di-fuck.
 %
@@ -14129,12 +14125,12 @@ the second woman.
 	"Frankly," murmured the third woman, "I understand the situation,
 but I fail to see the problem."
 %
-three-bag ugly, adj:
+Three-bag ugly, adj.:
 	That's when you put one bag over her head, one bag over your
 	head in case her's falls off, and one over the dog's to keep
 	it from howling.
 
-four-bag ugly, adj:
+Four-bag ugly, adj.:
 	When you leave a bag by the door in case someone drops by.
 %
 Through a major bureaucratic error, you are made county coroner.
@@ -14174,19 +14170,19 @@ Todays title:
 Tonight's piss is tomorrow's Tang.
 		-- An American astronaut
 %
-tourist, n:
+Tourist, n.:
 	A pretty girl in Oklahoma.
 %
 Tourist to New Yorker:
 	"Pardon me, sir, do you know what time it is, or should I
 	just go fuck myself?"
 %
-transvestite, n:
+Transvestite, n.:
 	Someone who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.
 %
 Tri Delts; everyone else has.
 %
-trust me:
+Trust me:
 	Los Angeles for "Fuck you, your mother, and the horse
 	she rode in on."
 %
@@ -14529,10 +14525,10 @@ especially if special features and options are utilized.
 vacation;look;find;talk;grep;touch;finger;find;flex;unzip;mount;workbone; \
 fsck;yes;gasp;fsck;yes;eject;umount;make clean;zip;split;done;exit
 %
-vagina, n:
+Vagina, n.:
 	The box a penis comes in.
 %
-vaginal lubricant, n:
+Vaginal lubricant, n.:
 	A slitty slicker.
 %
 Vandalism On The Upswing!
@@ -14543,7 +14539,7 @@ Vandalism On The Upswing!
 %
 Vatican upholds ban on contraceptives: "To heir is humane," claims the Pope.
 %
-Vd, n:
+VD, n.:
 	The gift that keeps on giving.
 %
 Vegetarians for oral sex -- "The only meat that's fit to eat"
@@ -14634,7 +14630,7 @@ I need someone to protect		But I'm not waiting on a lady
 		-- Rolling Stones, "Waiting on a Friend"
 %
 Water?  Never touch the stuff!  Fish fuck in it.
-		-- W.C. Fields
+		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual.  We do everything
 we can to butter him up.  We give him a name, assure him that he has certain
@@ -14993,7 +14989,7 @@ Giles:	Controlled circumstances.
 		-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bad Girls"
 		   Season 3, Episode 14
 %
-wet dream, n:
+Wet dream, n.:
 	Overnight sensation.
 %
 We've all heard about the woman who married a Field Service engineer but
@@ -15133,7 +15129,7 @@ Stand up, cop's wife cried, don't take him down,
 Rather be dead six feet in the ground.
 When you come home, you can eat pork and beans,
 I eats more chicken than any man's seen.
-		-- Willie Dixon, "Backdoor Man", 1961
+		-- Willie Dixon, "Backdoor Man" (1961)
 %
 When God created man, She was only testing.
 %
@@ -15167,7 +15163,7 @@ Give me a moron			My father's out of Harvard
 With talented hands		My brother's out of Yale
 I go bar-hopping		Well the guy I took home last night
 And they say "Last call"	Just got out of jail
-I start shopping 		The way he grabbed and threw me
+I start shopping		The way he grabbed and threw me
 For a Neanderthal		Oooo, it really got me hot
 				But the way he growled and bit me
 The bigger they come		I hoped he had his shots
@@ -15393,7 +15389,7 @@ Winning isn't everything, but losing really sucks.
 With a bushel of apples, you can have
 a hell of a time with the doctor's wife.
 %
-wok, n:
+Wok, n.:
 	Something to thwow at a wabbit.
 %
 Woman is: finally screwing and your groin and buttocks and thighs ache like
@@ -15529,7 +15525,7 @@ You can't underestimate the power of fear.
 %
 You come out of a woman and you spend the rest of your life trying to
 get back inside.
-		--  Heathcote Williams
+		-- Heathcote Williams
 %
 You have been bitchy since Tuesday and you'll probably get fired today.
 %
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes.sp.ok b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes.sp.ok
index f26b5e3..2ba73ec 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes.sp.ok
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes.sp.ok
@@ -205,7 +205,6 @@ Astaire's
 asterisked
 Asterix
 asthma's
-astonishment's
 Astro
 astrology
 Astroturf
@@ -217,7 +216,7 @@ Attila
 Auberon
 Auden
 AUDITME
-Audobon
+Audubon
 Auerbach
 Aug
 Augier
@@ -326,7 +325,6 @@ Beatty
 Beaumadine
 Beaumarchais
 Beauvoir
-becannt
 Becker's
 Beckett
 Beckmann
@@ -550,7 +548,6 @@ Bruton
 Brutus
 Bruyere
 Brylcreem
-Bryne's
 Brynner
 Bryson
 BST
@@ -1020,9 +1017,7 @@ deppart
 deregulated
 dermis
 DeSalvo
-DesCartes
 Desiree
-dessicated
 deStalinization
 destitution
 destructure
@@ -1159,7 +1154,6 @@ Dutsky
 dwelleth
 Dyer's
 Dykes
-Dykstra
 dyslexic
 Dyson
 Eagleson
@@ -1240,16 +1234,13 @@ endian
 Enesco
 Enfolding
 England's
-Englebert
 Englishman's
 ENIACs
 enkindles
 Enm
 Ennius
 Ennui
-enobled
 ENOTADUCK
-ensconsed
 Epcot
 Ephron
 EPI
@@ -1547,7 +1538,6 @@ Garbers
 Gardner's
 garnishment
 Garp
-Gastly
 Gatling
 Gaulle
 Gauls
@@ -1580,7 +1570,6 @@ getchar
 Getraenke
 Gettys
 gewerken
-Ghandi
 gharsley
 Ghostbusters
 Giancana
@@ -1643,7 +1632,6 @@ Goebbels
 goest
 Goestheveezl
 goeth
-Goethe's
 Gold's
 Golda
 Goldengrove
@@ -1656,7 +1644,6 @@ Goldwyn
 Goleta
 Gomme's
 Gondoliers
-Gondwondaland
 gonna
 Gonnet
 goodbye
@@ -1670,7 +1657,6 @@ Gordon's
 Gorey
 Gorin
 Gossling
-Gotama
 Gotlieb
 goto
 goto's
@@ -2088,7 +2074,6 @@ IRS
 Irulan
 Isaak
 Iso
-Issac
 Issawi
 Issawi's
 Ist
@@ -2150,7 +2135,6 @@ joggers
 Jogging
 Johnson's
 Johnston
-Jonathon
 Jone's
 Jones's
 Jonesboro
@@ -2374,7 +2358,6 @@ Lapwarmer
 Lardner
 Larkin
 Larkinson's
-LaRouchefoucauld
 Lascl
 laserbeam
 Lasorda
@@ -2414,8 +2397,7 @@ Lehrer
 Leia
 Leibe
 Leiber
-Leibnitz
-Leibowitz
+Leibniz
 Leibowitz's
 Leith
 Lem
@@ -2428,7 +2410,6 @@ lerts
 les
 LeSage
 letez
-Letterman's
 Lettvin
 Levant
 Levenson
@@ -2827,7 +2808,6 @@ Moping
 moralists
 Mordecai
 Mordor
-Morganstern
 Morley
 morons
 Morrisey
@@ -2907,7 +2887,6 @@ nanocentury
 nanohenry
 nanometers
 Nansen
-Napolean
 Napoleon's
 narcolepulacyi
 Narnia
@@ -2930,7 +2909,6 @@ Neantical
 Nebuchadnezzar
 Nebuchadnezzar's
 necesas
-necessitas
 necessitious
 NecroSoft
 Nehru
@@ -2984,7 +2962,6 @@ Niven
 Nixon's
 Noah's
 noalias
-Nobert
 Noelie
 nog
 nogiftlist
@@ -3053,7 +3030,6 @@ OCP
 Oct
 octalthorpe
 Octopussy
-Odgen
 Oech
 Oedipa
 Ogborn
@@ -3172,7 +3148,7 @@ Parnas
 Parnell
 paroxysmally
 Parrafin
-parthenon
+Parthenon
 passwd
 pastureland
 Patageometry
@@ -3340,7 +3316,6 @@ PRL
 PROCESSORs
 Prochnow
 proelium
-proferred
 profundities
 proletarian
 Propos
@@ -3455,7 +3430,6 @@ Reichel's
 Reinfeld
 Reinhart
 Reisner's
-reknowned
 Relaxen
 RENE
 Renegades
@@ -3531,7 +3505,6 @@ Rosten
 Rotherham
 Rothesay
 Rothschild
-Rouchefoucauld
 Roumania
 rousers
 Rowlands
@@ -3653,7 +3626,7 @@ Schweitzer
 Schwiggle
 Schwine
 Scientologist
-scintilate
+scintillate
 Scintillae
 Scott's
 Scoville
@@ -3883,7 +3856,6 @@ Steinbach
 Steinbach's
 Steinbeck
 Steinem
-Steinham
 Steinman
 Stekel
 Stenderup's
@@ -3926,7 +3898,7 @@ Sugarcreek
 Suggoth
 Sulu
 Sumeria
-Summatra
+Sumatra
 sunbathing
 SunCheckup
 SUNKIST
@@ -3987,7 +3959,6 @@ Talking's
 Tallulah
 tamperest
 Tanenbaum
-Tannenbaum
 tannogallate
 tapeworms
 tapioca
@@ -4150,7 +4121,6 @@ TYDFS
 tyg
 typefaces
 Tyroon
-tyrranize
 tzu
 Ubi
 UDA
@@ -4168,7 +4138,6 @@ unamerican
 unbegot
 unbelievers
 UNC
-Uncatylised
 undemanding
 underachiever
 Unger
@@ -4273,7 +4242,7 @@ vodkas
 Vogon
 Vogons
 voist
-Volkswagon
+Volkswagen
 Vollyballocracy
 Voltarine
 von
@@ -4373,7 +4342,6 @@ whomped
 Whooa
 Whoopie
 Wickersham
-wierdest
 Wiggam
 Wihelminalaan
 Wiker's
@@ -4391,7 +4359,6 @@ Winchell
 Windex
 windstorms
 Winfrey
-Winie
 winnowed
 Winny
 Winokur
@@ -4423,7 +4390,6 @@ woodlands
 Woodstock
 Woodward's
 Wookiee
-Woolcott
 Woolf
 Woollcott
 worketh
@@ -4446,7 +4412,6 @@ Xaviera
 XCVI
 xen
 xenophobic
-Xercies
 XGP
 XIIdigitation
 XINU
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index 4852840..a0344a8 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -827,8 +827,8 @@ And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.
 %
 A pretty young lady named Vogel
 Once sat herself down on a molehill.
-     A curious mole
-     Nosed into her hole --
+	A curious mole
+	Nosed into her hole --
 Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.
 %
 A pretty young maiden from France
@@ -854,7 +854,7 @@ Said, I'm the match for any machine.
 	My secret's aversion,
 	To loops and recursion,
 Just acres of in-line routine.
-		-- W.J. Wilson
+		-- W. J. Wilson
 %
 A progressive professor named Winners
 Held classes each evening for sinners.
@@ -1097,7 +1097,7 @@ Reproached for not acting quite primly
 	I know sex isn't love,
 But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
 %
-A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
+A water pipe suited Miss Hunt;
 She used it for many a bunt.
 	But the unlucky wench
 	Got it caught in her trench ---
@@ -2048,9 +2048,9 @@ Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder.
 So McGru took an oar and subduder.
 %
 There once was a man named McSweeny
-Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney
-	So just to be couth
-	He added vermouth
+Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney.
+	So just to be couth,
+	He added vermouth,
 And slipped his best girl a martini.
 %
 There once was a man named Parridge
@@ -2259,7 +2259,7 @@ There was a gay countess of Bray,
 And you may think it odd when I say,
 	That in spite of high station,
 	Rank and education,
-She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.
+She always spelled cunt with a "k."
 %
 There was a gay dog from Ontario
 Who fancied himself a Lothario.
@@ -2564,7 +2564,7 @@ There was a young fellow named Paul
 Who confessed, "I have only one ball.
 	But the size of my prick
 	Is God's dirtiest trick,
-For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"
+For my girls always ask, `Is that all?'"
 %
 There was a young fellow named Pell
 Who didn't like cunt very well.
@@ -3043,7 +3043,7 @@ Who strung himself up with a cord
 	Said he, of his work
 	(Ere the rope snapped with a jerk)
 "I am leaving because I am bored."
-		- E.A. Guest
+		-- E. A. Guest
 %
 There was a young lad named McFee
 Who was stung in the balls by a bee
@@ -4423,7 +4423,7 @@ Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
 	When asked, "Does it hurt?"
 	He replied, "No, it doesn't.
 I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."
-		-- W.S. Gilbert
+		-- W. S. Gilbert
 %
 There was an old man of Tagore
 Whose tool was a yard long or more,
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
index f45a0e2..af3f9d4 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek
@@ -507,6 +507,7 @@ The joys of love made her human and the agonies of love destroyed her.
 %
 The man on tops walks a lonely street; the "chain" of command is often
 a noose.
+		-- McCoy, "The Conscience of the King," stardate 2818.9
 %
 The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of
 play.
@@ -656,7 +657,7 @@ What kind of love is that?  Not to be loved; never to have shown love.
 		-- Commissioner Nancy Hedford, "Metamorphosis",
 		   stardate 3219.8
 %
-When a child is taught ... its programmed with simple instructions --
+When a child is taught ... it's programmed with simple instructions --
 and at some point, if its mind develops properly, it exceeds the sum of
 what it was taught, thinks independently.
 		-- Dr. Richard Daystrom, "The Ultimate Computer",
@@ -689,7 +690,7 @@ sheer horror than the male of the species.
 		-- Spock, "Wolf in the Fold", stardate 3615.4
 %
 Women professionals do tend to over-compensate.
-		-- Dr. Elizabeth Dehaver, "Where No Man Has Gone Before",
+		-- Dr. Elizabeth Dehner, "Where No Man Has Gone Before",
 		   stardate 1312.9.
 %
 Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a
diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy b/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
index a613036..7c43436 100644
--- a/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
+++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy
@@ -178,7 +178,7 @@ LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!  JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!
 CONGRATULATIONS!  Now should I make thinly veiled comments about
 DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??
 %
-Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRONi ... The waitress's UNIFORM sheds
+Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON ... The waitress's UNIFORM sheds
 TARTAR SAUCE like an 8" by 10" GLOSSY ...
 %
 Could I have a drug overdose?
@@ -200,7 +200,7 @@ DIDI ... is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?
 %
 Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?
 %
-Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running
+Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahyde pipeline running
 straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions and devalue the
 dollar!
 %
@@ -290,7 +290,7 @@ He is the MELBA-BEING ... the ANGEL CAKE ... XEROX him ... XEROX him --
 %
 He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me
 like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd like to
-PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING
+PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING
 MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess I should call AL PACINO!
 %
 Hello?  Enema Bondage?  I'm calling because I want to be happy, I
@@ -351,7 +351,7 @@ MOUSTACHE ...  Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY,
 HONESTY & WARMTH?  It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce
 to NANCY SINATRA!
 %
-How many returned bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL
+How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL
 SHARPENERS right NOW??
 %
 How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??
@@ -604,7 +604,7 @@ if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!
 %
 If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!
 %
-If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will Jodie Foster marry
+If Robert De Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will Jodie Foster marry
 Bonzo??
 %
 I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
@@ -802,7 +802,7 @@ ASHTRAYS ...
 %
 Let me do my TRIBUTE to FISHNET STOCKINGS ...
 %
-Let's all show human CONCERN for REVERAND MOON's legal difficulties!!
+Let's all show human CONCERN for REVEREND MOON's legal difficulties!!
 %
 Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!
 %
author	uqs <uqs@FreeBSD.org>	2010-03-31 18:21:25 +0000
committer	uqs <uqs@FreeBSD.org>	2010-03-31 18:21:25 +0000
commit	b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b (patch)
tree	20ac63ff2dc661dd3b3f767dd729135fa404b5af /games/fortune/datfiles
parent	e62c77fe41c3665e07e23e9feb6b0352ac8844b0 (diff)
download	FreeBSD-src-b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b.zip FreeBSD-src-b9a504725eeeb8808e7dbb5b0186d566a9e1541b.tar.gz