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authorru <ru@FreeBSD.org>2005-02-01 15:15:33 +0000
committerru <ru@FreeBSD.org>2005-02-01 15:15:33 +0000
commit1b0f577b0d82b833027f98ad278265168bf9a7a2 (patch)
tree87d4e67765c0b857e9f91a8e5b2904a4be30d288 /games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
parent7905572ab101accbdca0046698bbcca7de4944ad (diff)
downloadFreeBSD-src-1b0f577b0d82b833027f98ad278265168bf9a7a2.zip
FreeBSD-src-1b0f577b0d82b833027f98ad278265168bf9a7a2.tar.gz
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@@ -3351,27 +3351,6 @@ and you would have seen these two mounds of sand racing across the island
until they bonked into trees and coconuts fell onto their heads.
-- Dave Barry, "The Wonders of Sharks on TV"
%
- So Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark].
-With a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to
-maneuver the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of
-corner of the lagoon, so that it had no way to escape other than to
-flop up onto the land and evolve. Richard and I were inching toward
-it, sort of crouched over, when all of a sudden it turned around and --
-I can still remember the sensation I felt at that moment, primarily in
-the armpit area -- headed right straight toward us.
- Many people would have panicked at this point. But Richard and
-I were not "many people." We were experienced waders, and we kept our
-heads. We did exactly what the textbook says you should do when you're
-unarmed and a shark that is nearly two feet long turns on you in water
-up to your lower calves: We sprinted I would say 600 yards in the
-opposite direction, using a sprinting style such that the bottoms of
-our feet never once went below the surface of the water. We ran all
-the way to the far shore, and if we had been in a Warner Brothers
-cartoon we would have run right INTO the beach, and you would have seen
-these two mounds of sand racing across the island until they bonked
-into trees and coconuts fell onto their heads.
- -- Dave Barry, "The Wonders of Sharks on TV"
-%
Some 1500 miles west of the Big Apple we find the Minneapple, a
haven of tranquility in troubled times. It's a good town, a civilized town.
A town where they still know how to get your shirts back by Thursday. Let
@@ -8025,26 +8004,14 @@ A woman is like your shadow; follow her, she flies; fly from her,
she follows.
-- Chamfort
%
-A woman is like your shadow; follow her,
-she flies; fly from her, she follows.
- -- Chamfort
-%
A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure,
it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
-- Nietzsche
%
-A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to
-endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
- -- Nietzsche
-%
A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender, sweet,
and stupid.
-- Adolf Hitler
%
-A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive
-little thing -- tender, sweet, and stupid.
- -- Adolf Hitler
-%
A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life a thousand times
over for her lover, but will break with him for ever over a question of
pride -- for the opening or the shutting of a door.
@@ -9410,11 +9377,6 @@ Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not
new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
-- David Letterman
%
-An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to
-New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but
-not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
- -- David Letterman
-%
An aphorism is never exactly true;
it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.
-- Karl Kraus
@@ -9907,13 +9869,6 @@ face, we have politics.
-- Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland,
"Root Crops and Ground Cover"
%
-And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have
-a sense of humor, as does history. Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks
-tragedy, and this too is historic. And yet, still, when corn meets
-tragedy face to face, we have politics.
- -- Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland,
- "Root Crops and Ground Cover"
-%
And you can't get any Watney's Red Barrel,
because the bars close every time you're thirsty...
%
@@ -14737,9 +14692,6 @@ Documentation:
Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must
be good because the programmers hate it so much.
%
-Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
-Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
-%
Does a good farmer neglect a crop he has planted?
Does a good teacher overlook even the most humble student?
Does a good father allow a single child to starve?
@@ -14784,9 +14736,6 @@ I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love.
Don't be humble, you're not that great.
-- Golda Meir
%
-Don't be humble, you're not that great.
- -- Golda Meir
-%
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't
be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
%
@@ -15228,9 +15177,6 @@ production of great leaders has been discontinued.
Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your
fate and captain of your soul.
%
-Due to circumstances beyond your control,
-you are master of your fate and captain of your soul.
-%
Dungeons and Dragons is just a lot of Saxon Violence.
%
During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
@@ -16240,10 +16186,6 @@ Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
%
-Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents
-moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
- -- W. Somerset Maugham
-%
Excessive login messages is a sure sign of senility.
%
Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.
@@ -18812,9 +18754,6 @@ Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's
new lover.
%
-Good night to spend with family,
-but avoid arguments with your mate's new lover.
-%
Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.
-- R. E. Schenk
%
@@ -23165,10 +23104,6 @@ I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near
the place.
-- Steven Wright
%
-I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere
-near the place.
- -- Steven Wright
-%
I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I
don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
@@ -29141,9 +29076,6 @@ Let's do it.
%
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
%
-Let's just be friends and make no special
-effort to ever see each other again.
-%
Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted. In every
relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive. If you
really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end.
@@ -29574,12 +29506,6 @@ Charlie Brown:
No, that's giving up. I'm still hoping that yesterday
will get better.
%
-Linus: I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow. Maybe
- we should think only about today.
-Charlie Brown:
- No, that's giving up. I'm still hoping that yesterday will get
- better.
-%
Linus' Law:
There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
%
@@ -29935,10 +29861,6 @@ Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real
with the ideal never goes unpunished.
-- Goethe
%
-Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the
-real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
- -- Goethe
-%
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
-- Dr. Karl Bowman
%
@@ -30276,10 +30198,6 @@ Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon
to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde
%
-Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he
-is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
- -- Oscar Wilde
-%
Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this--
no dog exchanges bones with another.
-- Adam Smith
@@ -32550,11 +32468,6 @@ Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would.
The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
-- Augustine
%
-Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they
-would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect
-that much.
- -- Augustine
-%
Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules:
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of
the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
@@ -33347,10 +33260,6 @@ Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown
%
-Nothing takes the taste out of peanut
-butter quite like unrequited love.
- -- Charlie Brown
-%
Nothing that's forced can ever be right,
If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
That's what she said as she turned out the light,
@@ -34066,9 +33975,6 @@ and God, this is goodbye. We're moving to Hollywood."
%
On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a POINT.
%
-On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without
-a purpose, but never without a POINT.
-%
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
-- W.C. Fields' epitaph
%
@@ -35372,10 +35278,6 @@ People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't
what they want that they don't want it.
-- Ogden Nash
%
-People who have what they want are very fond of telling
-people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
- -- Ogden Nash
-%
People who make no mistakes do not usually make anything.
%
People who push both buttons should get their wish.
@@ -35391,9 +35293,6 @@ greatly annoy those of us who do.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin
Franklin said it first.
%
-People will accept your ideas much more readily if
-you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
-%
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
%
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
@@ -39387,15 +39286,6 @@ the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of
their boots.
-- Samuel Foote
%
-So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie;
-and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head
-into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently
-married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand
-Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all
-fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran
-out at the heels of their boots.
- -- Samuel Foote
-%
So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
@@ -40689,10 +40579,6 @@ TAXES:
Of life's two certainties,
the only one for which you can get an extension.
%
-TAXES:
- Of life's two certainties, the only one for
- which you can get an extension.
-%
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
%
TCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:
@@ -46778,9 +46664,6 @@ pigmentation of their skin. They happen to be colored.
There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not
a fence.
%
-There's a fine line between courage and foolishness.
-Too bad it's not a fence.
-%
There's a lesson that I need to remember
When everything is falling apart
In life, just like in loving
@@ -46848,11 +46731,6 @@ don't know that much about it. I tried it once but it didn't do anything
to me.
-- John Wayne
%
-There's been no top authority saying what marijuana does to you.
-I really don't know that much about it. I tried it once but it
-didn't do anything to me.
- -- John Wayne
-%
There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
%
There's just something I don't like about Virginia; the state.
@@ -48625,9 +48503,6 @@ Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
%
-Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for
-which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.
-%
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
-- Alan Watts
%
@@ -50722,9 +50597,6 @@ What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?
What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow
in his footsteps?
%
-What good is having someone who can walk
-on water if you don't follow in his footsteps?
-%
What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%
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